Erika Foxx Interview

Introduction

I want to take the time to thank Erika Foxx for taking the time in answering my questions. Also, I hope you will find her interview interesting and finally hope this interview will introduce you to a new erotic author that is worth following.

Meet Erika Foxx

My favorite stories are always the ones that have characters that I can relate to, and they’re in some situation that makes them believable people that somehow tests their love, or causes them to fall in love. And then hopefully along the way they end up having passionate, hot sex! And those are the kinds of books I like to write, too!

I remember the first time I realized that my mind was such a powerful source of arousal. I was sitting in the grass studying during my first year of college with a girl that was taking the same class. She kept pointing out the hot, shirtless guys walking by, muttering things that I thought “good” girls would never say! And then she said something that has stuck with me to this day…”He’s my fantasy for tonight, Erika.” I must have looked like she was speaking in a foreign language and she asked, “Don’t you ever fantasize about hot guys like that?” I felt my cheeks flush and I shook my head ‘no’ because I really never HAD fantasized like that…yet 😉

After that day, I began to think about guys and sex in ways I never had done before. Since then, I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve had a lot of “fantasy” nights with some of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen. But nothing ever can take the place of a warm body 😉

Fortunately for me, my high school sweetheart came back into my life about this time. I not only got to fantasize about him before we eventually got married, but now I get to fantasize WITH him, too! We are madly in love, and he is so supportive of my writing. And over time, I found my muse for writing erotica. And she’s a very naughty, slutty woman!

In our free time we love spending time together outdoors hiking and camping and bike riding, and we enjoy spoiling our two Yorkies.

Briefly tell us about your childhood? Where did you grow? Was there an inspirational adult figure when growing up?

I was just a typical, boring middle class kid growing up. I grew up in the upper Midwest in the U.S. in a very small town. My grandparents were very inspirational to me growing up. They always encouraged me in everything I did.

What is a happy memory from childhood?

Christmas time gave me some of my favorite memories, mostly from family and friends getting together to play games, talk and just enjoy spending time together.

What was school like for you? How far did you go in your education?

I was quite the little nerd in school, and I loved being one of the smartest kids in the school. I was always the good kid, never getting in trouble for anything.

I continued on with my education after high school, ultimately through graduate school.

Tell us something that we may not know about you?

It might surprise you given my avocation in writing erotica, but I was a virgin until my wedding night. That’s not to say I hadn’t participated in some other forms of sex play, though!

Have you ever met someone famous? If so, who? Tells us about it? Did it change you?

I’ve never met anyone famous ;( …yet!

Who, either living or dead, inspires you?

It’s not one single person really, more of a ‘class’ of people.   Anyone that goes after their dreams and never lets anything stop them is always inspirational.

Has a book ever impacted you? If so, what book? How did it impact you? What did you do differently after reading it?

Yes, most definitely! Believe it or not, it was Steven King’s book On Writing. I had read a few of his books, and I marvelled at how good a story teller he is. Whether you like his genre or not, the man knows how to weave a great tale! So when I read On Writing, I was taken with his thought on how stories are like archaeological digs, and that a writer’s job is to excavate the story and put flesh on the buried bones. After reading that, I paid much more attention to my characters and I “unearthed” their stories instead of trying to impose on them what I thought they should be doing or saying. In other words, I followed them around and started writing down what they did.

The other thing I learned from that book was the idea that I needed to find my muse. And I’ve discovered that mine is a pretty naughty girl…really a slut, to be honest. I fought her for a long time, being the “good” girl. But she wouldn’t stop making my character want to do dirty things to each other, and that bothered me for a long time. I couldn’t make sense of where it was coming from. When I read that book, I realized that I should start using her as an asset instead of a liability! When I let her loose, boy did my stories take a decidedly erotic turn!

Are you currently writing anything? Can you share an overview of the story? Do you have a target release date?

Yes, I’m currently working on the first book of what I hope to expand into a series. It’s a story of a young Victorian-era maid that has been released from her duties, and she is being secreted away to the employ of another, more demanding lord because of an unseemly ‘incident’. The story is my first in the BDSM realm, and I plan to publish the first book sometime in January 2015.

How long have you been writing?

Since high school. I got started when I took a class in creative writing, and I was hooked. I wrote a lot of romantic stuff, and it was fun but it was pretty bad, to be honest.

How often do you write? How long do you write?

My goal is to always write something every day, but to be honest I really end up writing in fits and starts. I’ve found that if I sit down to write every day, and my muse is being the slutty bitch she can be, I’ll just write garbage because I’m writing for the sake of writing and not for unearthing the story. If the characters don’t want me to follow them, it’s kind of hard to do that!

So, when those moments come around, I’ll spend time writing tweets for my followers on Twitter and spend some time researching what I’m writing at the time. Right now, it’s BDSM and I’m finding it both arousing and interesting. I’m not sure if it’s something I’d like to try personally, but you never know!

As far as how long I write, it depends. If the characters are demanding me to follow them, I’ll write until they stop leading me around. The longest session I can remember was about twelve hours.

How did you start out in writing?

As I mentioned earlier, I took a creative writing course in high school—the first of many! But just over a year ago, I decided to try publishing some of my stories on Amazon.

Where do you find your inspiration for writing?

I get inspiration in some of the strangest situations. I might be shopping and see an attractive couple arm-in-arm, and BOOM! My muse throws this vision of the couple into my mind, and they’re now naked and she’s leading him along by his huge, erect cock. That might become a scene later on in a story.

Sometimes it’s a photo, or a movie, or even a book. When I really find myself needing inspiration, or if I’m stuck with something and I really feel the urge to write something erotic, I’ll find some random porn clip online and write a description of the sex I’m watching. It feels like priming a pump, and then things start to flow. It’s also a good way to find new ways of describing sex.

How do you come up with your stories?

I’m also a reader of erotica, romance novels and all kinds of other good fiction, and that feeds my imagination and story ideas. I don’t know how it happens, but an idea will just seem to form in my mind. It’s usually a character that starts telling me a story, and it just seems to flow from that. I keep a journal for writing down plot and story ideas, just so I don’t forget them.

How much time a week or a month do you spend writing?

I try to write a minimum of four to six hours per week, with my goal being at least an hour every day. Maybe I’m not as anal about that as I should be, but I like writing to be organic for me.

All of the books you have written, which one is your favorite? Why?

My favorite is “A Taste for Kylie.” I loved writing her, probably because she’s a lot like me. She’s got a prim and proper side, but deep down she’s hiding a strong sexual urge. And she’s got a deep love for her husband and her marriage, and will do anything to keep that love and romance alive.

Your books seem to touch on the subject of making fantasies come true, have you ever have a fantasy come true?

I have, yes. I had always wanted to make love outdoors, and one weekend while hiking I finally convinced my hubby to give it a try! It took some convincing with my tongue, but he gave in and we had some of the best sex we’ve ever had!

Your books seem to touch on the subject of doing something taboo. Have you ever done anything taboo?

I’ve never done anything in reality that would be considered taboo, but I’ve done some pretty raunchy things in my mind that might land me in jail if I ever really did them!

What is the easiest part of writing for you?

It didn’t start out that way, but writing dialog is the easiest for me. I just listen to the characters and write down what they say! It’s usually how I start a story, with the dialog. I find it easier to add the rest after I know what they’ve said.

What is the most difficult part of writing?

Facing a blank screen. When your characters stop talking or doing anything, it’s the most lonely and frustrating feeling in the world.

What is the biggest writing challenge you have faced?

For me, it’s making the time to write. Perhaps someday if I decide to pursue being published by a publisher, it’d be deadlines.

How do you come up with your characters?

Honestly, I don’t know how they suddenly form in my head, but that’s how it happens. It’s almost like watching a fog start to materialize into a human form in my mind, complete with facial features and body type and hair and eyes and personality. Sometimes it happens instantly, and sometimes it can take days.

If there is one character you can choose to say is your favorite who would you choose? Why?

Again, my favorite character to date is Kylie McCann from my interracial ménage series, but I’m really starting to like a character I’m writing now for the Victorian-era BDSM series I’m writing. She’s also a lot like me in some ways.

What character has been the most difficult to develop, write? Why?

It’s one I’m writing about now for my new series. He’s the lord of the new manor that my maid character has been sent to, and he’s dark and brooding and won’t let me get inside his head very easily. But I’m working him!

Do you try to put a message in your books? If so, what do you believe it is? How would the reader know the message?

The only strong message I have how the power of a strong relationship is very erotic. When people are hopelessly in love and would do anything to give pleasure to each other, in whatever form, I think that’s so sexy. And I try to incorporate that in some way in the stories I write. In my short-short series “The Erotic Adventures of Dex and Tasia,” the two of them are madly in love with each other, but they find such erotic joy in making the other happy. Even when Tasia wants Dex to have sex with another man, he obliges because he knows it’s going to make her happy. That kind of love makes me melt!

Do you have a recurring symbolism or a motif?

No symbolism, but I do like building sexual tension between the characters in the stories I write. I guess that would qualify as a motif!

How do you use conflict in telling the story?

For my short-shorts, the only conflict is that the characters want to come, period. I wrote them as quickies for readers that want something short and sweet and arousing to read.

But for my other stories, definitely. Let’s face it, nobody wants to read a book about characters that are perfect and never have any problems in life or obstacles to overcome. So I try to use conflict when it seems like things are going to smoothly in my stories. Sometimes I’ll go back after I’ve written for a while and realize I’m reading a fairy tale. In that case, I’ll try to find a wedge point that I can stick in some kind of trouble or problem, or another character even. Something to upset the apple cart.

As a writer, it’s fun to add those conflicts and see how the characters react.

I did that in my recent book, “Behind Him All The Way.” A happily married couple has been having a pre-arranged “fun night” of sexual exploration to keep their sex life hot. The wife is conflicted about the suggestion by her girlfriend to try pegging her husband, and there’s some wonderful conflict and tension between the husband and wife when he’s confronted by his beautiful wife adorned with a huge rubber strap-on cock.

Advice

Can you share any advice for anyone considering self-publishing?

Sure, and remember that this is coming from someone that’s only been self-publishing for about a year. I’m still learning more every day!

It’s really quite easy today for anyone to write anything and sell it on Amazon or Smashwords or Barnes & Noble. In fact it’s downright simple, and you can even pay people to get everything formatted and ready for a very small fee. If all you want to do is say you’ve got a book for sale on Amazon, no problem.

But if you want to earn a living as a self-published writer, be ready to spend some significant time and money in advertising and marketing on social media, book marketing services, etc. And make sure that you’re marketing a book that people want to read. A slick media campaign selling a poorly written book will fail just as badly as a well-written book not marketed at all. In other words, have your writing edited. First by you, and then by a reputable editor. It makes all the difference in the world.

Last, make sure that you have a website where you can begin to build a loyal readership by offering an opt-in and other freebies. On ErikaFoxxBooks.com, I offer a free ebook in exchange for an email address, as well as some free erotica I’ve written. Once you have a list of loyal readers, you can market your future writing to them and continue to build your audience.

Do you have a passage (no more than 1 page) that you want to share?

Sure! It’s from “A Taste for Four” from my Seductive Couples: Interracial Menage series. In this third book, Kylie and Jackson McCann have each had the pleasure of having sex with a black partner…Kylie with Tristan, a Jamaican bartender, and Jackson with Summer, Tristan’s head chef at his restaurant. Now, Tristan and Summer are seducing the McCanns!

Excerpt

An Excerpt from “A Taste For Four” by Erika Foxx…

“You know, we don’t need them.” Summer said suggestively. She lay down and poured a bit of wine into her navel. “What do you think?” Kylie lapped the wine gently with her tongue, then took the bottle from Summer. She dripped the wine over her breasts, into Summer’s waiting mouth. Before Kylie knew what was happening, Summer’s head had disappeared between her legs. Kylie felt the woman’s mouth explore her pussy; it felt better than any oral sex Kylie had ever had. Summer did exactly what Kylie would have done if she could pleasure herself.

Jackson and Tristan watched the scene before them with amazement. The sight of the two women got them both hard again, but neither wanted to interrupt the action.

“Put your legs over my head.” Kylie moaned. She felt as if she was having a soft, constant orgasm and she wanted to return the favor. Kylie licked Summer tentatively, surprised at the way she tasted. Unlike Kylie’s juices, Summer’s had a sweet, apple like flavor. Kylie dove in enthusiastically, mimicking the movements of Summer’s mouth with her own. The soft, constant waves of pleasure running through Kylie’s body intensified, and soon she was writhing in ecstasy. As Kylie erupted, Summer’s climax filled her mouth. Summer turned herself upright and rested her head next to Kylie’s.

The women curled together to relax, but the men had something different in mind. The show had left them both longing for a second release. Tristan kneeled next to Kylie, his erection bobbing above her face. Jackson did the same next to Summer.

“That was quite a show you two put on.” Jackson complimented the women.

“Yeah, I think we need some oral action after watching that.” Tristan agreed.

“What do you think Summer? Should we give them what they want?” Kylie teased.

“I don’t know… do you think they can handle something new?” Summer’s eyes darted from Jackson’s cock to Tristan’s hand. Kylie instantly understood the suggestion.

“It’s a night of trying new things.” Kylie smiled. The women rose to their knees and sat the men next to each other on the floor. Summer gripped Jackson’s cock with her right hand, and guided Tristan’s hand over with her left. Kylie did the same in reverse. The men each instinctively pulled away when they realized what the women had planned.

“Now, now,” Summer scolded playfully, “you two got a show. Now we want one.”

“Just use your hands. Summer and I will take care of the rest, if you cooperate.” Kylie promised suggestively. Both men exhaled deeply before gripping the other’s shaft. Jackson had to admit that the sensation felt nice. It became even better when Summer began flicking her tongue against the head of his cock. Each woman bobbed up and down on their partner’s cock, using one free hand to direct the movement of the men’s hands.

 

Do you have anything you want to add?

I’d just like to thank you for the opportunity to tell you and your readers a little about myself. I encourage your readers to visit my website, read my blog stories, check out some of my favorite sites, grab a free ebook and follow me on Twitter and Facebook! Stay in love and lust, and thank you again!

Follow Erika

Facebook: http://facebook.com/ErikaFoxxErotica

Twitter: http://twitter.com/ErikaFoxxBooks

Website: ErikaFoxxBooks.com

Amazon Book link(s):

Seductive Couples: Interracial Romance Menáge Series (BWWM BMWW)

A Taste for Kylie

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KTUXXI2/

A Taste for Jackson

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KTUXVS4/

A Taste for Four

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KTS6ZWK/

Seductive Couples: Interracial Romance Menáge Boxed Set

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KZYVMXU

Dex and Tasia’s Erotic Adventures Series

Waking Up

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00N975B6O

Watching You Watching Me

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00N975DUI

Helping Mia

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00N96QP3S

Interrupted

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00N9I9WTU

Single Books

Behind Him All The Way

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ND8MJPA

Amazon Author Page: http://amazon.com/author/erikafoxx

How to make a fantasy come true: My interview with Erika Foxx

Today, I am announcing my first author interview with erotic author Erika Foxx. Some may know her as the author of such books as a Behind Him All the Way,  Waking Up Book 1: Dex and Tasia’s Erotic Adventures. or the timeless classic Taste for Kyle. I cannot be any happier since the interview comes a few weeks before the holidays and it gives my readers a chance to buy themselves something special or help to cut down their shopping list of gifts to buy. Even if you do not buy a book it is a great opportunity to learn more about an author who writes about making sexual fantasies coming true.

As for my reason for doing this interview, I feel, Erika Foxx is a talented author whose writing interest is very similar to the topics on this site and I feel Taste for Kyle, Taste for Jackson and Taste for Four are stories that go the heart of topics here. I believe, by doing this interview it will help my readers discover the world of erotic literature and what better way to ease into the conversation of having a threesome then by giving a book?

When will this interview occur? The interview will go live on 6 December 2014 shortly after midnight GMT or shortly after 16:00 Pacific Time on Friday 5 December 2014 in the United States.

If there is a question you want to ask Erika Foxx please use the below form. Otherwise I hope to see you here where the interview goes live.

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Cuckolding and the power of sloppy seconds

Sloppy Seconds a curse or a great benefit?

Introduction

Earlier today I was reading an excellent blog about ‘sloppy seconds’. It started me thinking about my own experience with the topic and how I define it. To begin with, the author in the article uses the term, ‘sloppy seconds, liberally. ‘Sloppy seconds,’ as I understand the author’s definition refers to a  man who is second to have sex with a woman after another man finishes having with her and then  uses a sex toy before having sex with her.

Whereas my experience with ‘sloppy seconds, is where a woman after she has, in most cases, gone bareback with another man then goes on to have more sex with a different man. As a result of already having sex she is ‘stretched’ and has cum leaking out of her. Since she is having sex with another man she has not bathed in between lovers and the second gets to experience her much more fully. Regardless of how the term is defined, it can carry very a negative connotation with it but if you become confident enough in yourself, it can be a very powerful experience.

If I wanted to write a thesis on the topic by using the definition by the author and discuss the numerous times using a large vibrator and how it felt to fuck her her wide pussy from it. In my opinion, this would make reading about those experiences quite boring. Instead I will reflect on the few times where we have invited another man to join us or to allow her to have sex on her own.

Experiencing ‘Sloppy Seconds’

For Me

It is difficult to put into words the sheer excitement sharing you spouse can bring along with the devastating crippling fear too. Nonetheless when it is my turn to enjoy her after being enjoyed by another man it was an experience that stimulated all of the senses. Nothing can compare to the musk smell, after sex. It is a powerful smell that is not easily masked. Someone on the street might find it repulsive. However when she is laying there naked with her legs spread and tells you how she was fucked by him, the smell is more intoxicating than alcohol. The smell fills the room like incense. Unlike incense it lingers for a few days.

Visually when I look at her labia they are redden and swollen from already having sex. Her vagina is visually wider with whisker burns of where he was on her. Depending on how long she had sex sometimes I am able to see cum leaking out of her.

Then when I finger her there is a sticky feeling and sometimes back-flow still leaks out. Having sex is quite different. Entering is a lot smoother due to her being wet from cum and she is not necessarily wider. Instead I would say she is stretched, which is a totally different feeling. While I play in my mind the events that just occurred, experiencing every type of possible emotion. From worrying about what just occurred to sheer excitement over just occurred. It is a flurry of emotions that took days, afterwards, for it to settle. From my experience she is still horny from the experience and does not want to spend a lot of time in foreplay.

For Her

Having sex with someone else is a mix for her. She gets enjoys having someone else fuck her and then come home to have sex with me telling me about the experience. It provides her such a large release and I believe it gives her some power. The downside to it for her, the experience is quite powerful and she does not want to get hurt.

Finally

In my opinion it is easy to understand the negative connotation of the word. ‘Sloppy seconds’ puts the second male in the position of having to compare himself to another male who just enjoyed the woman in front of him. For a man who lacks confidence, it can be quite a daunting intimidating. For the man that has enough confidence in themselves and their relationship, it can be a drug more powerful than any known drug available. The power of ‘sloppy seconds’ can be something that obliterates the confidence of a man who lacks self-esteem thereby destroying his relationship or it can be a glue that cements a relationship. Only time can tell which one it will be and planning such an experience needs to be done cautiously.

Related articles

• Cuckold beginners guide: enjoying sloppy seconds
• Couples Cuckolding and the what if scenario
• Sloppy Seconds Anyone? (lovesmallpenis.wordpress.com)
• I Love Sloppy Seconds , Confessions of a cuckold Husband BBC (marquisexcapades.wordpress.com)
• Week 41: Sloppy Seconds (juxtapixelsphotography.com)
• South Carolina Opts For Sloppy Seconds (boyculture.com)
• Harvard Educated hotwife gets sloppy seconds from BBC. (marquisexcapades.wordpress.com)
• Hotwife Gail fucks her black lover in wedding dress. (marquisexcapades.wordpress.com)

Heteroflexible another term for bi-curious?

 

Heteroflexible a new term for sexual identity or another term for bi-curious?

Recently I came across the term heteroflexible and for those who may not know the term, it means: someone who is heterosexual but has the ability to have a same-sex encounter without developing a relationship with someone of the same-sex. When I read it, it thought this is another way of stating bi-curious or restating someone who is bisexual?

 

As I thought about the term more, I realized, it was also providing an explanation as to why a heterosexual individual could have a same sex encounter in a threesome and then continue their heterosexual lifestyle. I was beginning to think this term actually had some merit and it was not another term in the cornucopia of terms describing threesomes.

 

Then I thought bi-curious means someone who show a curiosity in the same-sex and wishes to explore it. The idea of exploration without identifying as bisexual, I believe, is the hallmark of the term bi-curious and I believe, is also the hallmark of the term heteroflexible.

 

In answer to the question, is heteroflexible another term for bi-curious or is it a new term for sexual identity? I believe, it is another of the infinite terms that describes bi-curious and it does not further contribute to our understanding of sexual identity.

 

 

 

Related articles

• Heteroflexible (mybodymystory.wordpress.com)
• Once Upon A Fantasy (burncitybabe.wordpress.com)
• Labels, Identity and Sexuality. (unilantern.wordpress.com)
• Are Swingers Freaky and Deviant? (psychologytoday.com)

Watching my wife having sex with another man

Threesome First-Hand Experience

Introduction

Probably one of the more difficult parts of planning a threesome is preparing yourself for watching your wife / girlfriend having sex with someone else. At first, the idea maybe arousing. Thinking about someone else having sex with her, watching her being pleasured, and knowing you were a part of helping her please her. The imagery and arousal can make thinking about even the most mundane things very difficult.

Then as time passes, the idea of someone else having sex with her may seem scary. In your mind you ask, how can extramarital sex be acceptable? At the time, contemplating the question quickly ends as arousal once again happens. The cornucopia of emotions continues until the threesome approaches and at this point, the thought of going slower becomes a thought since she was hesitant about the idea. That idea is quickly extinguished since she is openly expressing her interest in the idea and how she is wanting the threesome. By now the threesome is near, stopping it now will let down everyone, and after a bit of contemplation stopping it is not what is needed. After more thought accepting threesome and accepting that their relationship will forever change regardless of the outcome.

The above is a generalization of the feelings I went through as my first threesome with my wife approached. In this article I will cover two separate threesome experiences and if anyone would like to share their experience, please feel free to add a comment at the bottom of this article.

Couple’s Cuckolding

This experience actually happened first and it was our first threesome experience together. It did not instantly happen and it took months of nurturing before it came to fruition. It occurred while we were living in an apartment complex near downtown, in a rural urban mid-west town. In a state where farm animals out number humans by about 100:1. The apartment complex consisted of three two-story buildings standing side-by-side, with a small courtyard, that were primarily studio and 1 bedroom apartments. Most of the people who lived there worked at nearby by businesses and due to the apartments being small, many of the tenants were single males.

Since there was a small courtyard, during summer my wife, Samantha (not her real name), would lay outside in her bikini and men naturally flirted with her. Afterwards she would come inside, she would tell about her flirting. She would tell how she liked the attention and how it made her horny. Her flirting provided some substance for us and it opened up the opportunity to discuss having some type of threesome. Because the complex was primarily single male there was a high-turnover of tenants and many did not stay long. This made planning some for some form of threesome difficult but it did offer the opportunity where we knew they would not be there long. Thereby preventing things from becoming ‘messy’ and complicated.

As time went on, there was one guy who regularly flirted with her and she admitted it was arousing. The flirting became more suggestive and she began telling me that he wants to fuck her. At first she would not consider the idea but as it continued it left us with a decision, does it lead to something or does it stay innocent? We decided to allow the flirting to go further and to see where it goes. A few weeks later she mentions fucking him is something she wants to do and agree to let it happen. Over the next few days we plan it out and she makes the arrangements

When she leaves, she asks me to close the curtains in our apartment since our apartment faced his. During this time I felt quite aroused and very anxious while going through a roller-coaster of emotions. I worried if she was safe and if she was enjoying herself.

About two hours later she came back we talked a few minutes before she took me by the hand to our bedroom. The lights were off and she undressed. Laying next to her she began telling me about the experience. He was not large and uncut. According to her, he caressed her and ‘ate her out’ while fingering her. As she was telling me about her evening she slowly glided my hand between her legs. I could feel it was stretched and sticky then she told me  how he fucked her and how she enjoyed it. That night we had a great sex.

MFM (Straight 3 some)

We both entered our relationship with both of us having previous threesome experience and we understood what we were going to face. She was the one who initially brought up the idea by telling me that she wanted to invite a former boyfriend. Normally this is something that is a red flag for me. In this instance she stated they never had sex and always wondered what it would be like. Plus it had been a few years since they saw each other and from here body language it was obvious she was being sincere.

The time from us talking about it to it actually happening was very fast, at best a few days. It did not give me a lot of time to dwell on everything that could go wrong and it did not give us a lot of time to set up boundaries.

He came over a few nights later. We spent the time talking and having a good time. Then my wife started undressing in front of us and we all knew what was going to happen next. We all went to our bedroom and they interacted while I caressed her.

Thinking back to experience, I do tend to believe I felt a little fearful of what it meant for our relationship but I knew everything would be alright. Soon he slid he long hard cock into her and they went at it for a few minutes. It was an arousing sight for me. Right in front of me, my wife was having sex with another man and it was arousing. I did not get upset and I did not feel any jealousy. He then came and we stayed in the bedroom for a while after that. Then we all got dressed, had some coffee in the kitchen, and he left.

As I look back to this experience, it demonstrates given enough time we remember the good and it demonstrates that not every threesome experience leads to a relationship ending. In my opinion, this experience was about trust and about moving our relationship towards a more mature relationship.

Final Thoughts

Both of these experiences worked out well for us due to communication, trust and the ability to agree on boundaries that worked for us. I believe the couple’s cuckolding experience was a way for us to push our boundaries and to explore if this was an activity that we wanted to include. After that experience we had our next experience, the threesome. This time we knew what to expect and we were able to make this experience work for us.

Furthermore I believe we are the 95% + of couples who dive into the world of threesomes and do not make it a lifestyle. Instead I believe, these experiences happened at a time in our relationship that helped guide us about communication and understand how special we are to each other.

I am not, in any way, advocating that anyone who reads this will have the same success. Instead, I am trying to highlight the timing, the emotions, and the result from having this type of experience. It is important to understanding communication, trust, and level of comfort all play a role in having a threesome.

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Does introducing a thrid person positively or negatively impact a relationship?

Threesome Impact on Relationships

Introduction

Imagine having a crystal ball with the ability to see into the future or having a software program that can accurately predict if a planned threesome will be successful. As humans wanting to know the outcome before it happens helps us make decisions and helps us decide if the risk is worth taking. However, having a threesome involves a lot of unknown factors and much depends on the choice of the third person. So how do you know if introducing a third person will positively or negatively impact a relationship? Until a crystal ball is developed or a software programs is written that can predict the impact of a third person on a relationship there is no way of knowing. Instead the best that can be done is understanding the dynamics involved.

The Couple – can they cope with change

The impact of introducing a third on a couple’s relationship depends a lot dynamics of the couple and how they react to change. Introducing a third person, even as a one-off situation, will forever change the couple and once a threesome occurs it cannot be undone. Therefore the question a couple must ask themselves, are they ready for the change?

What type of change will they face? It is not possible to know every permutation of a threesome situation and talk about every possible change. Instead the most likely changes will include how the relate to each other, how they react to the feelings they experience, and how they perceive the threesome experience. This means the impact of introducing a third person will depend on each of them as individuals, how they cope with having a threesome and collectively as a couple. It means the change to the relationship may not be good and the impact, short-term or long-term, maybe the relationship is adversely impacted. How the couple copes with adversity will determine if the relationship is able to make it through or not.

The Third Person – Is Compatibility is better than availability

If given a hypothetical choice between receiving $100 (£100) now or $1,000 (£1,000) six months from now, which would you choose? Would you go for the immediate reward or the delayed reward? The above question demonstrates how we, sometimes, make decisions. Sometimes we choose the immediate reward because of its availability instead of delaying of it for a bigger reward later. This type of decision making is readily seen when choosing a third person for a threesome. Sometimes the choice is made because of availability instead of compatibility.

So why is compatibility important? If the choice is made due to availability then it implies there was some form of compromise. There is nothing wrong with compromise provided the compromise does involve giving up core beliefs / boundaries about having a threesome. If core beliefs / boundaries are given up it can lead to feelings such as anger, resentment, and finding ways to sabotage the threesome. This can only lead to problems later in the relationship.

So, the solution is finding someone that is compatible. Compatibility in the context of a threesome does not necessarily mean someone that shares common interests and someone where a bond is shared. Instead it means someone where there is enough of an interest, commonality, and at least a physical attraction by each member of the threesome to allow the threesome to occur.

Does finding someone that is compatible means the threesome will be free from issues? Definitely no, but it does mean the chance an issue will arise is less since the selected person meets the needs of the couple.

The Unknown – Learning to anticipate possible outcomes

Planning a threesome means being able to understand the unknown, anything that is not expected that can have an impact, by planning for it. So how do you prepare for the unknown? There is no way to prepare for every eventuality but understanding some of the challenges that may be faced will help in the preparation. This could be issues like jealousy, anger, developing feelings, or safety. It could issues such as location, your partner’s weaknesses, or past issues. In essence, it is trying to visualize the threesome based on what is being planned along with understanding your history as a couple.

Conclusion

In answer to the question, will introducing a third person into the relationship have a positive or negative impact? The answer is simply it is not possible to know. The best that can be done is looking inside yourself, assessing the relationship, and assessing the third person selected, then asking do I believe a threesome will work? If you believe it will work then it is important to accept the decision, work towards making the threesome as enjoyable as possible and accept that the relationship will change. Should you, as a couple, be able to adapt to change and work through any adversity then it is reasonable in expecting that the threesome will have a positive impact on the relationship.

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Why you can never go back

Can you ever go back?

You can never go back. How many time do we hear it? We hear it from friends, spouse, or family tell when we have to make a tough decision that will permanently impact us and they do not want us to make it. Why do they say it? I suppose,  the statement is somehow suppose to make us magically realize the decision we make will impact us and that we need to make the right decision. Maybe they struggle with honestly and open communication to discuss the potential outcomes of the decision. Possibly, they feel they have to say something and using a cliche is the best they can do.

Unfortunately you can never go back is popular statement used when discussing having a threesome or cuckolding for the first time. The first time the saying is encountered under the pretext of wife sharing it sounds insightful because it reminds us of the impact of our decision on our relationship when deciding about having a threesome or cuckold. However, after hearing a few more times it becomes obvious the individual saying it is probably someone who is too afraid to give real advice and instead their comfort level is reciting cliches.

In contrast, you can never go back, is an idea with exploring in the context of wife sharing. Wife sharing, if done correctly, should increase a couple’s closeness, happiness, and communication. Likewise, the couple should view the experience as positive.

phot0 from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Nonetheless, wife sharing involves a very rich and deep experience that very few couples ever encounter unless the make the decision to try wife sharing. Wife sharing involves bringing a third person on a temporary basis into the relationship. On the surface the idea appears very erotic and sultry. Very few of us are not aroused by the idea of her having sex with someone else and them enjoying her.

Such a vision is very self-confirming. It confirms she is attractive and it confirms by choosing to be with her, others desire her too; however, they are unable to have her. This is very affirming and a big ego booster. Also it confirms she has chosen someone to be with and they get to enjoy her. In many ways it is journey back to childhood by having something the other children did not thereby increasing your popularity and desirability for friendship.

Below the surface of an erotic image lies a cauldron of issues cook from her desirability and the ongoing changes that are occurring. By bringing in a third person into the relationship, even on a temporary basis, means changes. Many couples do not face these changes and if they do, they are rarely openly discussed.  Leaving couples who are exploring the idea of wife sharing alone and having to discover for themselves the changes that can occur. Changes can include:

photo from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

• Feelings of insecurity, anxiety, fear, and jealousy
• Inability to accept, face, or realize issues exist
• Loss of feeling your spouse is special due to the loss of exclusivity of the relationship
• Feelings toward your spouse
• How each of you relate to the other
• You may find you feel closer or more distant from them
• Feelings develop for the third person
• They may not seem like a distant 3rd person. Instead they more become a friend or more.
• Other changes including though not limited to:
  • Increase in sex drive
  • Decrease in sex drive
  • Conflict in the relationship

Changes provide opportunity for growth in the relationship but can serve as a source for ongoing conflict too. Once the idea of wife sharing is brought to the forefront of the relationship for consideration it brings along change. Even if the idea is not seen through to fruition the discussion will bring about changes. The changes that result from the discussion and the ensuring wife sharing experience, will forever change the relationship. This means once the discussion happens a couple cannot return to a relationship that existed prior and must learn to handle the changes that have occurred. In some cases, the ensuing changes will bring about positive relationship changes, while other changes will be devastating for the couple. Finally to answer the question, can you ever go back? No.

Related Articles

Having the Initial Discussion

What should I expect?

Planning a threesome

Threesome Variations

Why Couples Choose Cuckolding

Easing into wife sharing

25 Points to consider before having your first threesome (couples)

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20 tweeters to follow

I find I can get news faster on twitter than watching television and I can get it from various sources that present the same story from a different angle. Also I am find a lot of my daily information comes from twitter.

After a while, interest in twitter starts to wain because the information has the feel of a dependable worn shoe. The type of shoe for running outside in the rain to get the mail or buying a quart of milk for the morning cup of coffee at the corner shop after discovering the milk in the fridge has chunks.It is great because it is dependable but deep down it is understood more is needed.

We all hit a time where we are looking for someone new to follow on twitter. Sometimes it is to increase followers or learn something new. I find I can get news faster on twitter than watching television and I am find a lot of my daily information comes from twitter.

Nonetheless, from time to time, we all need a bit of a help in finding new, relevant, and interesting material. Below is a small list to get you started on your search. The list covers a variety of active tweeters on twitter with the vast majority covering erotica, threesomes, and cuckolding.

As a result many of them are nsfw (not suitable for work and meant for over 18). This means some of their content in their tweets may be suitable for work. However they may contain links, videos, or pictures that may be questionable for work.  In my opinion @JohnnyLavish1, @ErikaFooxBooks, and @FredChukkawakka are probably the only three that are possibly suitable for work.

Please check back periodically as the list may be expanded or updated. If you feel I have missed a tweeter please let me know by completing the below contact form.

1. @3somes3
2. @ErikaFoxxBooks
3. @healthmaturesex
4. @WorldPolyamory
5. @VirtuousPervert
6. @JohnnyLavish1
7. @swingerswebsite
8. @thecuckplace
9. @splooshcpl
10. @AskAprilcom
11. @hotwives
12. @mywifescuckold
13. @Bmore_horny
14. @thecuckoldsite
15. @Cosmopolitan
16. @paigen
17. @AdultMatchMaker
18. @Dalecuck
19. @YoungCouple
20. @FredChukkawakka

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Planning a threesome

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Couple’s Cuckolding

Why couples choose cuckolding?

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Easing into cuckolding

Cuckolding web sites

Threesome web sites

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Cuckolding is it right for me?

It all starts with a harmless thought

At night in bed

Laying in bed a night and she is already asleep. The room is dark and quiet.  Random thoughts begin entering and leaving without too much attention. Soon one question enters and cause some pondering, what will it be like if she was fucking someone else for me?

At first the idea is repulsive. How can it happen? She will never go through with it, let alone consider it. Even if she will consider the idea, it will never happen and if it did happen, she will make sure not to enjoy it.

Knowing she will not go through with it is not enough to allow the question to pass like the others. Soon an image enters. She is laying naked on a king size bed with white sheets and her legs spread. On top of her is male but has no face. They are embracing and he is inside of her. Looking at her, it is obvious she is enjoying it.

Now mere thought of her being with someone else is upsetting and invokes feelings of anger. Soon the feeling of anger subsides and something about the image catches your interest. As you lay there looking at her and thinking about the image of her being with someone else, it is not long before getting hard. Soon feelings of arousal and joy replace feelings of repulsion.The image of her with someone else is arousing and the idea is something you begin considering before asking yourself, is cuckolding right for me?

Foreplay

It starts out with a very suggestive texts during the day in order to seduce her when she gets home, “You look sexy,” “I Love You,” “When I get you home I am going to do nasty things to you.” She reciprocates by texting suggestive photos back along with describing how wet her texts got her. Arriving home from a long day at work, sex is the meal being served. Neither of you are hungry for food but hunger for each other. Supper is delayed for the both of you to feast on the pleasures that await for you in your bedroom.

The bedroom is dark with some light cracking the curtains and the hallway light the seeps into the bedroom from the slightly open door. Each crawls into bed pulling up the blankets and holds the other. Soon light touching and caressing is replaced by intense arousal that involves intense lustful kissing. Soon the kissing settles and the room electrified with an intense hunger for the other. She positions herself into a missionary position suggestively saying, “do whatever you want to me,” that is followed by “making me cum really hard.”

Her challenge “opens the door” to test her reaction of being shared. While eating her out, she moans and her body moves with her stroke of her clit. Soon you begin fingering her and describing a scene where another man fucks her. Initial thought, “she will say I don’t like this,” but she reacts positively getting even hornier before coming hard.

Describing be taken by another man, her lack of resistance, and her cumming hard suggests she is open to the idea? As a result a question arises, how do I take it to the next step? Followed by, how do I make it happen for her? Instead the question should be, “is cuckolding right for me?”

The basics

What is cuckolding?

Today, cuckolding is a word creeping into our everyday vocabulary.  Just a few years ago, very few knew what cuckolding is but with social media more people are showing an interest in practice. Before being able to answer the question, is cuckolding right for me? It is necessary to understand the practice.

Traditional Definition

When we hear the cuckold it is natural to assume it is a fairly new word that has grown out of the sexual liberation of the 1960s. Nonetheless the genesis of the word cuckolding goes back nearly 500 years as the word for an unfaithful wife.

As time progressed and the word cuckolding became a part of our everyday vocabulary, the usage expanded. Today it covers a variety of sexual practices where the husband, in most cases remains monogamous, but his wife takes on at least one male lover outside of the relationship. In such cases, unlike in the past, it is done with her husband’s knowledge and consent.

Liberal Definition

Visit a few web sites that talks about cuckolding and it soon becomes apparent cuckolding is quickly becoming a dumping ground for any group sex activity that loosely falls under the definition of wife sharing. Wife sharing involves a inviting at least one other person Likewise, there is a tendency to use the word to cover sexual practices that are more synonymous with swinging, wife sharing, and wife swapping. Some will argue this usage is incorrect and I agree.

Couple’s cuckolding

So far in this discussion, cuckolding involves some form of BDSM or some form of group sex activity. Now, I am going to add a third definition. This definition involves wife sharing, though excluding gang-bangs and orgies, while incorporating some aspects of traditional cuckolding.  It does not involve forming long-term emotional relationship common to traditional cuckolding and it does not involve opening-up the relationship.

I call couple’s cuckolding.Couple’s cuckolding tends to fall in between the strict interpretation of the word cuckolding and the more liberal definition that includes all types of group sex activity that falls short of being classified as an orgy. Under the strict interpretation of cuckolding, the practice includes a BDSM element such as: humiliation, domination, submission, and discipline. The practice, for some couples moves from being a role play activity into a lifestyle that is dominated by their rules. Couples who take cuckolding to the extreme may practice withholding sex for a period of time, using a male chastity device, and may involve some form of discipline if the rules are not followed.

Also under the strict definition, it is the wife who takes on a male lover, other than her husband. Her contact with her male lover, is usually done outside of the home and usually, though not always, without her husband being present. This implies cuckolding, when using this definition, has a quasi open relationship element to it and a quasi polyamory element to it.

Whereas couple’s cuckolding eliminates the quasi polyamory and open relationship element by keeping the experience at the level of sexual enjoyment instead of focusing on relationship development. This means there may be some BDSM elements to a couple’s cuckolding but it is not a dominating feature. Likewise, couple cuckolding is not meant to become a lifestyle but something a couple will under take for periodic mutual enjoyment. This means couple’s cuckolding probably resembles a threesome but without her husband being present. Instead his enjoyment comes from her regaling her experience and if she chooses, sharing sloppy seconds.

Finally for this article, cuckolding will incorporate the traditional definition and couple’s cuckolding.

Is cuckolding right for me?

Laying in bed and thinking about your wife having sex with someone else or role playing it as a part of foreplay is not sufficient to know if it is a good choice.  Knowing if cuckolding is the right choice involves discussions, reflection, and understanding expectations for everyone before reaching a decision. Nonetheless there are a few questions to ponder to help in answering the question:

1. Do I accept there is a difference between the reality of cuckolding and how it is portrayed in the media?
2. Am I comfortable in various situations?
3. Can I be assertive
4. Am I comfortable with my spouse / partner to speak to them about absolutely anything?
5. Do I wait for all of the information before making a decision?
6. Do I get easily jealous?
7. Am I prepared to share my wife with someone else?
8. Am I am willing to accept the changes to our relationship that will occur?
9. Can I accept there will be someone else in her life that may be as important as me?
10. Am I willing to support her?

Finally

There is no correct answer to the question, is cuckolding right for me? The above questions are meant for reflection and are meant to help with the decision of suggesting trying cuckolding. They are also meant to help the individual understand some of the issues involved and the challenges they may face. It is important to remember, cuckolding is fundamentally different than having a threesome and therefore puts different demands on a couple.

The answer is only found after reflecting, researching the topic, and discussing. Only then, can a couple truly answer if cuckolding is right for them.

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Planning a threesome

Threesome Variations

Couple’s Cuckolding

Why couples choose cuckolding?

Characteristics of successful couples

Easing into cuckolding

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First Time cuckolding: The once in a lifetime roller coaster ride that is worth taking

First Time? No Ticket Required

I remember riding a roller coaster as a kid. The fear of heights along with the fear of falling out that always made me nervous of riding a roller coaster. Then as the roller coaster climbed to the top rushing down, emotional rush as it speeds down the hill.

Cuckolding in some ways is like being on a roller coaster. Once she agrees to try cuckolding and a lot of images miraculously enter your mind. Not everyone cuckolds and a feeling of privilege begins overtaking your body like a tidal wave. The feeling, is like winning the lottery or receiving membership in an exclusive club. It is something very unique. Soon questions, fears, anxiety, and a flurry of other emotions begins to grip your mind. A feeling of being overwhelmed hits and questions such as, is this normal enter your mind?

What is it like during the time from ‘yes’ to the actual experience and then afterwards? What can I do to help me through the time? Agreeing to be cuckold can be a rich and rewarding experience. However until you have the experience, know what to expect, and know the outcome then the experience is best describe as an emotional roller coaster.

The Journey

1) Emotional Roller coaster

After agreeing to have a cuckold, it is common for emotions fluctuate very quickly and to fluctuate for varying lengths of time. In the beginning it is common to feel elation and maybe some fear. During this time fear is quickly ignored because of the surge of feeling immense joy over the upcoming event.

Then as the day gets closer extremes feelings happen. Suddenly you feel excitement and then fear.  The fear grips your mind and then every thing that can go wrong appears in your mind, like a bad dream. Panic can happen and doubts if this is the right choice happens. Right before succumbing to the fear, reality comes to rescue by removing the fear.

Now the day arrives and she leaves for her date. At first a quiet calm happens, feeling like a member of an exclusive club and feeling privilege leads to a feeling of euphoria. As the feeling of euphoria beings to wane, fear begins chirping like a child wanting to know how much longer. The feeling of euphoria stifles the sound of fear but as the feeling of euphoria diminishes like a mother who cannot keep saying no. Soon fear takes over. Is she safe? Is she enjoying herself? What will she be like when she gets home? Is our relationship over? Why did I agree to this when I could have said no? starting playing like a tape recording.

The cycle of feeling euphoria and fear continues. Watching television or playing a game of solitaire is not an option since the emotional roller coaster is creating too much anxiety. Only a distraction can work.

2) Need for distraction

The need for a distraction is fairly obvious by providing an emotional balance during this time that will not cause harm later. A distraction can be as simple as housework, gardening, or going to a movie. It can involve a friend or a group. However, not everyone wants to know about cuckolding or someone’s sexual adventure therefore it becomes necessary being selective discussing the reason for distraction.

3) Desire to push the limits

During the time of joy, euphoria, or excitement feeling like nothing can bad can happen does occur. It leads to a feeling of invincibility and the willingness the change boundaries because nothing bad can happen. This feeling comes about from being a part of a privilege and for the most part, a secret club. However, we tend to forget superman had his Krypton and every club has it rules.

4) Relationship Changes

Through the emotional highs and emotional lows something is quietly happening in the background, change. That is right change to the relationship is occurring. Nothing is frozen forever in time and we are not able to go back in time to fix or prevent something from going wrong.

In a few days, weeks, or months, she is going to have sex with someone outside of the relationship. This will mean the relationship, for better or worse, will change. Change will occur in threesome stages.

First stage is the immediate stage. This is the time from right after she returns for the first few weeks. It is the time when the relationship copes with the cuckolding experience and redefines itself. During this period there is a lot of change occurring.

Second stage is the latency stage. After the resolution of the first stage there is a period of relative quiet where very little occurs. This can last for a few days, weeks, or months.

Final stage is the new normal. Through all of the discussions that have occurred, perception of the experience, and attitudes towards each other will redefine this stage. This is the point where the relationship finally works resolves the issues and defines how the couple will relate to each other.

5) Empowerment

During relationship changes and the fluctuations of emotions that are occurring there is something very quietly working in the background, empowerment. Cuckolding can be a very empowering experience for a couple. For him it is about expressing his desire in an open way and having his desire met. This means he is able to openly communicate his tawdry desire and have it met without fear of retribution. Depending on the form the couple’s cuckolding takes, it can be a way for him to give control to his wife and unburden some of the pressure he feels.

For her is a lot deeper. By cuckolding she is able to confirm her sexual desirability to someone else without fear of loosing the relationship. This can be a very powerful experience because it can show her she is more than a wife, a mother, and she is a sexual person.

Finally for the couple, cuckolding provides a route for improving the communication and a way to get their needs met.

Journey Aftermath

6) Knowing the Details

Trying cuckolding means only one person has sex with someone outside of the relationship that is done with the knowledge and consent of the other person in the relationship. This can be prove a very powerful aphrodisiac for a couple because one of them has an experience the other does not and by sharing the details of the experience it can be something that binds them as a couple.

This raises the question, how do you share the details? From my experience, the best way is to tell it like a story and tell it as a part of foreplay. Focus on the feelings, scents, mood, and anything else that can draw your partner into the story. Use a tone a voice that is  suggestive and inviting. Do not rush it and do not have him just laying listening to the story. Instead have him experience the story by becoming a part of it. Have him do the some of things you were experiencing and encourage him. If he asks any questions be hones but positive.

7) Sloppy seconds

One of the succulent rewards of cuckolding is experiencing sloppy seconds. Feeling her stretched from another cock being deep inside of her along with her red swollen lips and if no condom was used, the warm sticky feeling of her lover’s cum. Also there is usually a subtle smell of must.

Sloppy seconds is a result of an experience each individual openly embraced and something that should be enjoyed instead of being shunned.

For her it is a sign of her desirability to another and for him it is a sign of his fantasy being fulfilled. Ideally they should take time together before falling asleep to share and enjoy the experience together.

8) Best Sex of your life

The smell of sex along with details of the experience and experiencing sloppy seconds can lead to an incredible sexual experience. Especially if it is done shortly after she comes home. From my experience, nothing can compare to it.

9) Improved Communication

After the experience and as the relationship finds its ‘new normal.’ One of the possible benefits is seeing improved communication. Especially feeling less afraid to discuss ideas and an open willingness to share ideas that can lead to an increase in trust.

10) Trust Issues

After the euphoria, from hearing the details and enjoying sloppy seconds, reality begins to enter. Questions such as, what happened? How could I have agreed to this? Why did I agree to this? can occur. This happens because the emotional roller coaster is ending, relationship changes are occurring, and facing the reality of what is happening can create issues of trust. This is normal and happens as the relationship undergoes changes that brings up trust issues. It is important to see the experience as a journey not an isolate series of events and to discuss the issue, in a calm and non-judgmental, manner.

In contrast it is very possible cuckolding can be a very positive experience that confirms trust in the relationship and allows the relationship to grow further.

Finally

Cuckolding is not right for every couple. For those that it suitable then cuckolding can be a great experience for any couple who is willing to undertake the risk, who is willing to communicate, and trust each other. It can bring them together, provide powerful visual images for foreplay that will last for many years, and it can improve their communication. It is one roller coaster ride, for the right couple, that is worth taking.

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After Yes Now What: A cuckolding beginners guide

10 things you should know about cuckolding but were afraid to ask

Cuckolding for Couples: Making cuckolding a partnership

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Benefits of having a threesome (Why having a threesome can be good for a marriage)

Benefits of having a threesome – Introduction

If you are reading this then it is likely you are questioning, how can a threesome be beneficial? It is easy  to envision a prostitute with two males wearing a rain jackets in an alley in the slum. The alley covered with blood and bullet holes in the wall. She is having one male standing with her legs around her as he hold her, fucking her while she “jerks-off” the other guy.  As they all have sex, gunshots ring out in the background and mice scurry by their feet.

Likewise it is easy to envision “chavs” or “white trailer trash” having threesomes. Maybe it is easier to see people having a threesome as “seedy” underworld figures?

Too often we hear the dark side of threesomes and become “Negative Nellies” about having a threesome. Such negativity can easily dissuade anyone from wanting a threesome but after reading this, hopefully your opinion might change.

Do we ever hear anything good about having a threesome?

Too often we hear the negative side of having a threesome. Examples include:

• New Forest District Council issuing an enforcement notice barring a swingers club in a local home.
• Church is actually a swingers club
• Man stabbed during threesome because he refuses to change positions
• Bad threesome experiences
• Student has threesome with two teachers
• Relationships ending

Sadly we rarely, if ever, do read anything positive about having a threesome and the lack of anything positive, makes it difficult to believe there are any benefits of having a threesome.  After seeing these headlines it is understandable how a negative image of having a threesome occur. When I see these headlines I think only ‘seedy’ people have threesomes and it is not for me. Having had a few threesomes I know the headlines are not the norm but the extreme.

For someone just starting out it is easy for the headlines to make having a threesome seem criminal but I am going to let you in on a secret. If you move beyond the headlines it soon becomes clear these are not typical couples, single males, and single females meeting to have a threesome. Instead these are people who are trying to circumvent the law or are under the influence of a controlled substance. By reading the article and critically analyzing it, it is clear this is not the standard threesome but people with problems.

Granted, it is impossible to know the impact and outcome of having a threesome. However, if drinking does not occur or is kept at a minimum the chance of something going wrong greatly decreases. Likewise reducing the chance of something bad occurring significantly decreases if no drugs, including recreational drugs like cannabis, are used. If no pressure is used, having a threesome is a mutual decision, and time is taken to prepare then it is reason to expect having a threesome will be enjoyable.

Also, it is impossible to know if the person being invited someone that can do harm. Nonetheless if time having a threesome is not rushed. Instead time is taken to discuss, communicate, and screen any potential third person then the chance of being a headline in a news story greatly decreases.

Does having a threesome improve a relationship?

Is it possible? Does having a threesome improve a relationship? Such a question a few years ago was unthinkable. Even today people fear admitting anything positive can be said about having a threesome.

Luckily today, people are beginning to warm-up to the idea. There seems to be some data suggesting number of married couples having threesomes are about the same as the general population, which is  about 14%. Recent figures suggest the figure may be closer to 20% This suggests having a threesome does not damage a relationship and suggests threesome negativity is not dissuading people from trying it.

Couples who have a threesome report:

• Providing pleasure / enjoyment for their partner makes them happy
• cheating decrease
• Enjoyable, something a couple can share together
• Social activity that allows meeting other people

From my experience it creates a bond with your spouse and I find it help with improving communication thereby helping the relationship.

What does having a threesome do for me?

From my own experience having a threesome can do a lot for an individual. It helps to make you aware of the needs of others and helps you ot understand your place in the world. Also I am finding it helps bring a couple closer by having a shared experience and by having the experience communication improves. It improves by being able to talk more openly and knowing how to communicate.

What is in it for me?

Having a threesome requires discussion, planning, and communication. It requires trust, commitment, and a willingness to put your inhibitions aside for a few hours. It is important to remember having a threesome does involve risk to yourself, to your relationship, and to your health. However by taking the necessary precautions the risks can be mitigated.

The next step is putting behind the negative images of a threesome and think about having a threesome as it relates to your situation. Will it work for you? What are the risks? What are you hoping to achieve? Once you are able to put aside all of the negative hype regarding threesomes you can now focus on having a threesome that is right for you. This means now you understand what is in the media is not always 100% accurate and has a bias. If you are still in the discussion phase or considering bringing up the idea then using this information will help you work through any resistance you may encounter.

I wish you the best and hope the threesome you desire is all that you want it to be.

Finally

If you have had a threesome, what has been your experience? Was it positive? Negative? Indifferent? Please share by leaving a comment.

Related Articles

Having the Initial Discussion

What should I expect?

Planning a threesome

Threesome Variations

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First time? 10 things I should I expect

First time drawing near?

Having your first threesome is a lot like riding a bike for the first time without training wheels or your first kiss. It is is a lasting experience that will create a lasting impression. So, the question that is probably lurking, what should I expect from my first threesome?

Unlike twenty years ago or even a few years ago having a threesome is more accepted. However a lot of unbiased information does not exist. Too often talk shows, news, and even friends present a myopic image of the experience. There are a lot of reasons as to why this occurs, such as money, a point to be made, or to attract viewers. Whatever the reason, the experience gets missed in favor of glamorizing it.

1) Reality of having a threesome or cuckold is not like porn, television, or the movies.

Having a threesome experience or cuckold experience involves real people and real feelings with real consequences. Once you begin the process of exploring the idea your relationship will forever change. Expect to feel a variety of emotions, thoughts and feelings over a period of time. It is easy to react to them but do not. Allow a significant amount of time to pass and talk about your feelings before making any decision that may have long reaching consequences. Remember this reality and there is no magical way to reverse time to a point before having the experience.

2) Performance anxiety happens

Expectations can be built up  leading to stress that can lead to performance related issues. Performance anxiety shows up in many different ways:

Men:

• In ability to become erect or maintain an erection
• Premature ejaculation
• Hesitation or reluctance
• Nervousness, anxiety, withdrawing, or emotional

Women:

• Lack of response
• Unable to lubricate or maintain being wet
• Emotional and / or withdrawing

Best way to minimize the effect of performance related issues is to limit expectations, keep realistic expectations, and communicate about issues as they occur.

3) Change

Everyday we learn something new, we grow from our experience and it is foolish to believe we do not change. By having a threesome, you will be introducing a lot of change to the relationship in a very short amount of time. Some change will occur very rapid. Changes that are likely to occur include:

• As a couple the way you communicate
• Attitude towards each other
• How you view and relate to your spouse / partner
• Beliefs towards relationships, marriage, and life
• Feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

It is important to remember wanting a threesome or cuckold is a life changing experience that will have far-reaching effects. Therefore, it is important to be cautious and to remember your spouse / partner are also going through a similar experience even though they may not be showing the behaviors.

4) Different Starting and ending points

Having a threesome in some ways is like a sprint. Everyone starts at difference places but ends at the point. In a journey to have a threesome, everyone begins their journey with preconceived ideas based on beliefs and experiences. Once the journey begins and the idea of swinging is explored the idea becomes more tangible. This can lead to changes whereby the individual who initially brought-up the idea may become more calculating because the idea is no longer pure fantasy and an element of reality is entering. Likewise someone who may be reluctant and starts understanding the possibilities may become eager. It is therefore possible each person who begins this journey may find they undergo a transformation.

5) The third person

Swinging can have a far reaching effect on the individual and the relationship. Choosing the right third person is paramount in ensuring continuity, before and after the experience, and preserving the relationship. Also choosing the right third person can enhance the experience and make it a very caring experiencing

So, how do you find the right third person? The is a temptation, when starting out, to choose a friend or a co-worker. On the surface the choice appears logical. However choosing someone well known brings its own set of issues. Whilst it is impossible to speculate on every possible scenario, one thing is clear sometimes choosing someone that is unknown can be a better choice.

There is no guarantee any route you choose to find a third person will work. The best route, I believe, is method that uses all of the tools available to you. This includes using online sites asking questions and meeting the individual before any activity happens. It does not have to be a several month process of asking in depth questions and developing a close friendship. Instead it can be relatively brief to develop trust and feel confident the third person has your best interest at heart.

6) Nothing can be prepare you for the night

The day finally arrives. A mixture of feelings happen. Anxiety, fear, and the elation only to find the need to remain calm. Then a few hours before meeting the third person trying on several pieces of clothing happens and getting your hair just right. She looks beautiful and you begin looking at it as a night that will be remembered.

After a bit of socializing the discussion turns to sex. At first a few jokes get made, then the discussion becomes a bit more serious before discovering you have reached the point of no return. Everybody heads to the bedroom she undresses before laying on the bed. Soon everyone is naked and for a few minutes it is a very erotic experience.

Soon kissing, touching, and intimacy begins. All of the discussion and preparation culminates into this experience. There is a feeling of surrealism that fills the room. At first you soak in the experience but soon your beliefs begin to become challenged. It is almost as though something has overtaken your body. Your responses feel as though it is someone else in control. In some ways it is liberating because this is a feeling that has never been experienced and other ways it is frightening since it is easy to lose control.

Soon he enters your wife and a flood of emotions hit. Now there is no turning back and your relationship has forever been changed. She lays there, appearing to enjoy it. Her reaction makes you frightened and shatters everything you know of her.

7) Did it happen?

Having a threesome means accepting change will occur. After the threesome expect a lot of change to happen. Expect as the thrill wears off that there may be feelings of mourning, anger, and feelings of distance. This is normal. A lot has happened prior, during, and after the threesome. Now it is time for your mind to work through all of it.

During this time it is important to discuss feelings and the experience. This means do not shut your spouse out but use them as a resource. Having a threesome can be a powerful force that brings couples together if they are willing to work together instead of driving them away.

8) We will have another threesome?

It is good that you consider the idea and think about your experience. Most couples who have threesomes do not live a threesome lifestyle. Instead they may have an occasional, maybe a few in their relationship, and maybe they will only have one. The answer to that question depends on time and on the experience.

9) No one will know

After having a threesome it is possible to feel that everyone knows your secret. Most likely the only ones who know are the third person, your spouse, and you. It is unlikely others will know unless you were in public, you are well known, or you are upfront about having threesomes. In most situations, people are too afraid to ask or by ‘outting‘ they are also telling on themselves. This means in many circumstances no one will know unless you tell them.

10) Long-term implications

It is impossible to know the outcome when you begin your journey. If you approach having a threesome with love, trust, and caring for the participants then it is realistic to expect a positive outcome. Even if the initial experience is bad, in time, you may find the experience was beneficial or positive. Regardless of your initial feelings a threesome that has gone will can increase happiness, satisfaction, and communication in a relationship.

Other Articles of Interest:

10 Questions about Threesomes you were afraid to ask

Easing into a threesome

Threesome planning

Suggesting a threesome, what does it mean?

How to suggest a threesome

Threesome Terminology

Watching my wife having sex with someone else

Threesome positions

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Threesome Foursome: Adding Spice to an erotic experience by trying an unique position

Introduction

Planning a threesome? Wondering what position to use? Maybe split roast, double penetration, and watching while to the invited male fucks your wife while you watch is becoming blase. Regardless below there is an opportunity to add some creativity and excitement to your threesome by trying new positions. The plethora of positions listed below are a collection of threesome positions for both mfm and fmf along with a few foursome positions.

Cosmo Twitter After Dark

Cosmo Twitter After Dark regarding realistic threesome positions. It is a good article. However the cartoon like drawings and the descriptions are light-hearted; however the light-heartedness, I feel, detracts from the purpose. Nonetheless, I believe, this is a great piece that is worth the time to review.

AskMen – UK

Cosmo does a great job with article on threesome positions. In contrast AskMen – UK is more pragmatic. Instead of 15 positions it focuses on 7 positions using real-life models along with discussing the benefits of each position.

DatingAdvice.com

The list on this site adds to the depth of positions available. The only drawback, unlike the other sites listed here, this site provides descriptions without video or photos; instead this site relies on descriptions.

SexualPositionsFree.com

This site takes an unique approach to the topic of threesome positions by using wooden figures in various positions.

YouTube – Living La Vita Loca (fmf / mff threesome)

For YouTube videos this is very well done and it focuses on threesome position for a two woman threesome

Finally

Regardless if you opt for a familiar position such as split roast or something more adventurous, the one thing that is clear having a threesome  can greatly enhance for any couple.

Other Articles of Interest:

10 Questions about Threesomes you were afraid to ask

Easing into a threesome

Threesome planning

Suggesting a threesome, what does it mean?

How to suggest a threesome

Threesome Terminology

Follow me

Follow me on Google+ Follow me on twitter – @3somes3 Follow me on tubmblr

Cuckolding statistics

searching for information is a journey that begins with a step

Due to the ethics involved in doing research, especially sex. It is very difficult to find studies that show estimates of sexual practices, especially cuckolding. Finding statistics on threesomes, swinging, and polyamory because each practice is common whereas cuckolding is less common.

Nonetheless, as I was doing some searching for cuckolding statistics I did come across a few good cuckolding articles on the Examiner. This link will take you from this site to the Examiner, which in no way associated with this site, and provide you with a list of articles. In the list there is one article of interest that talks about the rise of cuckolding but unfortunately does not provide concrete numbers. Also I do find the Examiner’s site lacking on specific information but is a good source for general information. Likewise Psychology Today has an article about the rise of cuckolding. Again it does not provide a concrete estimates on the practice but discusses it rise in popularity.

Additional Articles

Canadian Study on sex and threesome

Open relationship study

Librarian and Pastor into Threesomes

Taking one for the team

Who are swingers and polys?

Cuckolding web sites

Threesome Terminology

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