Cuckolding and the power of sloppy seconds


IMG_8628 updated

Sloppy Seconds a curse or a great benefit?

Introduction

Earlier today I was reading an excellent blog about ‘sloppy seconds’. It started me thinking about my own experience with the topic and how I define it. To begin with, the author in the article uses the term, ‘sloppy seconds, liberally. ‘Sloppy seconds,’ as I understand his definition refers to a  man who is second to have sex with a woman after another man finishes having with her and uses the term ‘sloppy seconds’ that includes using a sex toy before having sex. Whereas in this article, I use ‘sloppy seconds, having sex with a woman after she has, in most cases, gone bareback with another man. Regardless of how the term is defined, it can carry very a negative connotation with it but if you become confident enough in yourself, it can be a very powerful experience.

If I wanted to write a thesis on the topic I can use a more liberal definition by discussing the numerous times we have use a large vibrator and how it felt to fuck her her wide pussy from it. In my opinion, this would make reading about those experiences quite boring. Instead I will reflect on the few times where we have invited another man to join us or to allow her to have sex on her own.

Experiencing ‘Sloppy Seconds’

It is difficult to put into words the sheer excitement sharing you spouse can bring along with the devastating crippling fear too. Nonetheless when it is my turn to enjoy her after another man has been in her it is quite erotic and it stimulates all of the senses. The musk, after sex, smell is powerful. When she has had sex with someone else there is a powerful intoxicating musk smell that fills the room. It is a similar smell that is left on me, even after showering, for up to two days after having sex with her. When I look at her lips they are redden and swollen from already having sex and her vagina is already wide. Then when I touch where she has been penetrated there is a sticky feeling and sometimes back-flow still leaks out. Having sex is quite different. Entering is a lot smoother due to her being wet from cum and she is not necessarily wider. Instead I would say she is stretched, which is a totally different feeling. While I play in my mind the events that just occurred, experiencing every type of possible emotion. From worrying about what just occurred to sheer excitement over just occurred. It is a flurry of emotions that took days, afterwards, for it to settle. From my experience she is still horny from the experience and does not want to spend a lot of time in foreplay.

In my opinion it is easy to understand the negative connotation of the word. ‘Sloppy seconds’ puts the second male in the position of having to compare himself to another male who just enjoyed the woman in front of him. For a man who lacks confidence, it can be quite a daunting intimidating. For the man that has enough confidence in themselves and their relationship, it can be a drug more powerful than any known drug available. The power of ‘sloppy seconds’ can be something that obliterates the confidence of a man who lacks self-esteem thereby destroying his relationship or it can be a glue that cements a relationship. Only time can tell which one it will be and planning such an experience needs to be done cautiously.

Heteroflexible another term for bi-curious?


 

Heterosexual-symbol-3D

Heteroflexible a new term for sexual identity or another term for bi-curious?

Recently I came across the term heteroflexible and for those who may not know the term, it means: someone who is heterosexual but has the ability to have a same-sex encounter without developing a relationship with someone of the same-sex. When I read it, it thought this is another way of stating bi-curious or restating someone who is bisexual?

 

As I thought about the term more, I realized, it was also providing an explanation as to why a heterosexual individual could have a same sex encounter in a threesome and then continue their heterosexual lifestyle. I was beginning to think this term actually had some merit and it was not another term in the cornucopia of terms describing threesomes.

 

Then I thought bi-curious means someone who show a curiosity in the same-sex and wishes to explore it. The idea of exploration without identifying as bisexual, I believe, is the hallmark of the term bi-curious and I believe, is also the hallmark of the term heteroflexible.

 

In answer to the question, is heteroflexible another term for bi-curious or is it a new term for sexual identity? I believe, it is another of the infinite terms that describes bi-curious and it does not further contribute to our understanding of sexual identity.

 

 

 

Watching my wife having sex with another man


sexy wifeThreesome First-Hand Experience

Introduction

Probably one of the more difficult parts of planning a threesome is preparing yourself for watching your wife / girlfriend having sex with someone else. At first, the idea maybe arousing. Thinking about someone else having sex with her, watching her being pleasured, and knowing you were a part of helping her please her. The imagery and arousal can make thinking about even the most mundane things very difficult.

Then as time passes, the idea of someone else having sex with her may seem scary. In your mind you ask, how can extramarital sex be acceptable? At the time, contemplating the question quickly ends as arousal once again happens. The cornucopia of emotions continues until the threesome approaches and at this point, the thought of going slower becomes a thought since she was hesitant about the idea. That idea is quickly extinguished since she is openly expressing her interest in the idea and how she is wanting the threesome. By now the threesome is near, stopping it now will let down everyone, and after a bit of contemplation stopping it is not what is needed. After more thought accepting threesome and accepting that their relationship will forever change regardless of the outcome.

The above is a generalization of the feelings I went through as my first threesome with my wife approached. In this article I will cover two separate threesome experiences and if anyone would like to share their experience, please feel free to add a comment at the bottom of this article.

Couple’s Cuckolding

This experience actually happened first and it was our first threesome experience together. It did not instantly happen and it took months of nurturing before it came to fruition. It occurred while we were living in an apartment complex near downtown, in a rural urban mid-west town. In a state where farm animals out number humans by about 100:1. The apartment complex consisted of three two-story buildings standing side-by-side, with a small courtyard, that were primarily studio and 1 bedroom apartments. Most of the people who lived there worked at nearby by businesses and due to the apartments being small, many of the tenants were single males.

Since there was a small courtyard, during summer my wife, Samantha (not her real name), would lay outside in her bikini and men naturally flirted with her. Afterwards she would come inside, she would tell about her flirting. She would tell how she liked the attention and how it made her horny. Her flirting provided some substance for us and it opened up the opportunity to discuss having some type of threesome. Because the complex was primarily single male there was a high-turnover of tenants and many did not stay long. This made planning some for some form of threesome difficult but it did offer the opportunity where we knew they would not be there long. Thereby preventing things from becoming ‘messy’ and complicated.

As time went on, there was one guy who regularly flirted with her and she admitted it was arousing. The flirting became more suggestive and she began telling me that he wants to fuck her. At first she would not consider the idea but as it continued it left us with a decision, does it lead to something or does it stay innocent? We decided to allow the flirting to go further and to see where it goes. A few weeks later she mentions fucking him is something she wants to do and agree to let it happen. Over the next few days we plan it out and she makes the arrangements

When she leaves, she asks me to close the curtains in our apartment since our apartment faced his. During this time I felt quite aroused and very anxious while going through a roller-coaster of emotions. I worried if she was safe and if she was enjoying herself. About two hours later she came back telling me about the experience how he fucked her and how she enjoyed it. That night we had a great sex.

MFM (Straight 3 some)

We both entered our relationship with both of us having previous threesome experience and we understood what we were going to face. She was the one who initially brought up the idea by telling me that she wanted to invite a former boyfriend. Normally this is something that is a red flag for me. In this instance she stated they never had sex and always wondered what it would be like. Plus it had been a few years since they saw each other and from here body language it was obvious she was being sincere.

The time from us talking about it to it actually happening was very fast, at best a few days. It did not give me a lot of time to dwell on everything that could go wrong and it did not give us a lot of time to set up boundaries.

He came over a few nights later. We spent the time talking and having a good time. Then my wife started undressing in front of us and we all knew what was going to happen next. We all went to our bedroom and they interacted while I caressed her.

Thinking back to experience, I do tend to believe I felt a little fearful of what it meant for our relationship but I knew everything would be alright. Soon he slid he long hard cock into her and they went at it for a few minutes. It was an arousing sight for me. Right in front of me, my wife was having sex with another man and it was arousing. I did not get upset and I did not feel any jealousy. He then came and we stayed in the bedroom for a while after that. Then we all got dressed, had some coffee in the kitchen, and he left.

As I look back to this experience, it demonstrates given enough time we remember the good and it demonstrates that not every threesome experience leads to a relationship ending. In my opinion, this experience was about trust and about moving our relationship towards a more mature relationship.

Final Thoughts

Both of these experiences worked out well for us due to communication and trust. I believe the couple’s cuckolding experience was a way for us to push our boundaries and to explore if this was an activity that we wanted to include. After that experience we had our next experience, the threesome. This time we knew what to expect and we were able to make this experience work for us.

I believe we were the 95% + of couples who drive into the world of threesomes and do not make it a lifestyle. Instead I believe, these experiences happened at a time in our relationship that helped guide us about communication and understand how special we are to each other.

I am not, in any way, advocating that anyone who reads this will have the same success. Instead, I am trying to highlight the timing, the emotions, and the result from having this type of experience. It is important to understanding communication, trust, and level of comfort all play a role in having a threesome.

Does introducing a thrid person positively or negatively impact a relationship?


IMG_8702Threesome Impact on Relationships

Introduction

Imagine having a crystal ball with the ability to see into the future or having a software program that can accurately predict if a planned threesome will be successful. As humans wanting to know the outcome before it happens helps us make decisions and helps us decide if the risk is worth taking. However, having a threesome involves a lot of unknown factors and much depends on the choice of the third person. So how do you know if introducing a third person will positively or negatively impact a relationship? Until a crystal ball is developed or a software programs is written that can predict the impact of a third person on a relationship there is no way of knowing. Instead the best that can be done is understanding the dynamics involved.

The Couple – can they cope with change

The impact of introducing a third on a couple’s relationship depends a lot dynamics of the couple and how they react to change. Introducing a third person, even as a one-off situation, will forever change the couple and once a threesome occurs it cannot be undone. Therefore the question a couple must ask themselves, are they ready for the change?

What type of change will they face? It is not possible to know every permutation of a threesome situation and talk about every possible change. Instead the most likely changes will include how the relate to each other, how they react to the feelings they experience, and how they perceive the threesome experience. This means the impact of introducing a third person will depend on each of them as individuals, how they cope with having a threesome and collectively as a couple. It means the change to the relationship may not be good and the impact, short-term or long-term, maybe the relationship is adversely impacted. How the couple copes with adversity will determine if the relationship is able to make it through or not.

The Third Person – Is Compatibility is better than availability

If given a hypothetical choice between receiving $100 (£100) now or $1,000 (£1,000) six months from now, which would you choose? Would you go for the immediate reward or the delayed reward? The above question demonstrates how we, sometimes, make decisions. Sometimes we choose the immediate reward because of its availability instead of delaying of it for a bigger reward later. This type of decision making is readily seen when choosing a third person for a threesome. Sometimes the choice is made because of availability instead of compatibility.

So why is compatibility important? If the choice is made due to availability then it implies there was some form of compromise. There is nothing wrong with compromise provided the compromise does involve giving up core beliefs / boundaries about having a threesome. If core beliefs / boundaries are given up it can lead to feelings such as anger, resentment, and finding ways to sabotage the threesome. This can only lead to problems later in the relationship.

So, the solution is finding someone that is compatible. Compatibility in the context of a threesome does not necessarily mean someone that shares common interests and someone where a bond is shared. Instead it means someone where there is enough of an interest, commonality, and at least a physical attraction by each member of the threesome to allow the threesome to occur.

Does finding someone that is compatible means the threesome will be free from issues? Definitely no, but it does mean the chance an issue will arise is less since the selected person meets the needs of the couple.

The Unknown – Learning to anticipate possible outcomes

Planning a threesome means being able to understand the unknown, anything that is not expected that can have an impact, by planning for it. So how do you prepare for the unknown? There is no way to prepare for every eventuality but understanding some of the challenges that may be faced will help in the preparation. This could be issues like jealousy, anger, developing feelings, or safety. It could issues such as location, your partner’s weaknesses, or past issues. In essence, it is trying to visualize the threesome based on what is being planned along with understanding your history as a couple.

Conclusion

In answer to the question, will introducing a third person into the relationship have a positive or negative impact? The answer is simply it is not possible to know. The best that can be done is looking inside yourself, assessing the relationship, and assessing the third person selected, then asking do I believe a threesome will work? If you believe it will work then it is important to accept the decision, work towards making the threesome as enjoyable as possible and accept that the relationship will change. Should you, as a couple, be able to adapt to change and work through any adversity then it is reasonable in expecting that the threesome will have a positive impact on the relationship.

Cuckolding Beginners Guide: Surviving the First Date


Surviving the first dateIntroduction

The cuckolding fantasy give a safe place to view the experience and have the ideal outcome.  Once the first date approaches the fantasy metamorphosis into a storm at sea with the flurry of emotions, the fear, and panic before being replaced with excite the first date brings. It is not until she arrives home and discussing the experience does the storm finally subside. So, how do you survive the storm that comes with the first date?

Boundaries

Starting point is establishing basic boundaries. Cuckolding is not a threesome and will need very different boundaries. A boundary for a threesome might be no kissing, one-off, or no anal sex. This is because having a threesome is a team activity whereby each person can verify the other is following each boundary and as a couple become comfortable with having a threesome their need for specific boundaries begin the wane. Therefore, a boundary in a threesome situation is more about comfort and providing a degree of emotional safety to make sure the threesome does not go beyond a certain points.

However, in a cuckold having a boundary is more about physical safety or relationship safety than emotional safety. Examples of boundaries may include:

  • No staying overnight
  • Call / text to give update about the date is progressing
  • Number of times in a month she meets the other man
  • Amount and type of communication that can occur
  • Degree to which the discussing the events of her being intimate with someone else
  • Meeting the other male and being to ‘veto’ him if not acceptable.

It can be said, having a cuckold requires a higher degree of trust and a deeper understanding of what cuckolding involves to make sure safety.

Build up the relationship

Building up the relationship  prior to the first date is vital for ensuring a positive cuckolding experience and ensuring the relationship can survive the experience. This means any relationship issue that can cause a problem is resolved before the first date and it means finding a way to connect at an emotional level to bond.

Next building up the relationship can also mean changing your communication style whereby the focus changes from superficial discussions to problem resolution. Such a change may involve talking about feelings, needs, and then working towards an agreeable solution.

Finally, building up the relationship means supporting her through the experience in order for it to be a positive experience for her. It may need helping her prepare for the first day and making herself look attractive. This may mean putting aside your feelings to help her feel confident that this is the right decision.

Relationship Changes

As the first date gets closer there may be noticeable relationship changes:

  • She may become emotionally distant
  • She may want more time to herself
  • Sex may decrease or stop
  • Anxiety and fear about the relationship may become more common
  • Arguments may increase
  • Premature ejaculation or inability to become erect
  • She may become more focused on appearance

It is important to view them as normal but after the first date, they can be a sign of an issue that needs discussing.

Distraction

The first time can be quite unnerving. She is gone, hopefully enjoying herself with someone else while you are left alone. It is a time when fear and anxiety build that can lead to a hasty decision being made. It is important while she is out a distraction is found that does not involve using drugs, does not involve using alcohol and does not shopping. From my experience, if you are at home, cleaning is a good distraction. Likewise going to a movie or going out also serves as distinction.

Post Date Relationship Changes

Cuckolding will forever change your relationship and each encounter makes it more difficult for the relationship to return to an exclusive relationship.  It is important to expect change and the degree, to which, the change will occur will depend on how the experience impacts each of you.

Finally

Until the first date cuckolding is only a fantasy. However, as the first date approaches the relationship will under go temporary changes that may involve creating an emotional distance to prepare for the cuckolding experience along with the male noticing sexual changes. After the date it is likely there will be changes to the relationship and to make sure the experience is positive the couple will need to make sure they continue to communicate. The first date can be a positive experience if you plan for it, communicate, and view any change positively.

Other Articles of Interest

Cuckolding Beginners Guide: Enjoying Sloppy Seconds

Universal Boundaries

FAQs Regarding Boundaries

5 Laws for Establishing Boundaries

Cuckolding Relationship

Easing into Cuckolding or Threesome

8 Cuckolding Secrets Every Couple Should Know

Watching My Wife Having Sex with Another Man

Cuckolding and the Power Sloppy Seconds

Debunking Cuckold Myths

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How do they have sex?


Another well written article by Janes Illustrated Erotic Sex Blog that is definitely worth the time to read.  In this article she provides her experience of being a BBW and what works.

How do they have sex?.

Swinging in Norway


3somes:

I always enjoy reading about studies into ‘group sex’ and found this one very insightful. Another good aspect about this article it supports my insight about the link between confidence and being successful with threesomes. In my opinion this is a good article well worth the time to read.

Originally posted on EroticZeitgeist:

In a recent study, the swinging community in Norway was researched.

Swingers participate in consensual non-monogamous behavior. They are often privileged, stable and otherwise ordinary people.

shareMotivation

Most of the swingers are motivated to join the swinging communities because of sexual fantasies. In the beginning, they just talk about the fantasies and then gradually they start to live them out. In the swinging community, it is possible for both parties in the marriage to explore sexual desires and needs with several partners either as a couple or separately.

Satisfaction

In general sexual satisfaction, self-confidence and the feeling of freedom increases for people when they become swingers. People also feel more attractive and become more satisfied with their own body and appearance. They also feel that their marriage get stronger. In particularly men feel more confident, and gets an improved self-image, which also have a positive influence on them in non-sexual…

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Cuckolding Beginners Guide: enjoying sloppy seconds


Sloppy SecondsIntroduction

The idea ‘sloppy seconds’ can be enjoyed is ludicrous. How can a physical sign of ‘infidelity’ be erotic?  For a moment, do not think about this. Instead think about, what does ‘sloppy seconds’ mean to you? Think about the image it creates. Is it an erotic scene or an image that provokes disgust? Diving deeper into the scene can you smell anything? Does the image has a musky, sweaty, or another type of smell associated it with it? Finally how does the idea make you feel?

Getting into the mindset

Why ‘sloppy seconds’ are intimidating

Enjoying ‘sloppy seconds’ starts with the right mindset. ‘Sloppy seconds’ for many can be quite intimidating. At its core ‘sloppy seconds’ represent a partner that has had sex with someone else outside of the relationship. The idea of someone having sex outside of the relationship can elicit strong feelings. When those feelings are intensified by engaging the senses when seeing a sign of ‘the act’ it can become too much.

How can ‘sloppy seconds’ provoke such strong feelings? It symbolizes the sexual attractiveness of your partner, it says your partner can enjoy having sex outside of the relationship with someone else, and it is a reminder you were not the one who pleasured them this time. It can create a hollow feeling that creates an emotional distance from your partner and is a reminder of how fragile your relationship is. So, how can such an act be enjoyed?

View it as a gift not a sign

I remember the first time I experienced ‘sloppy seconds’ it was both beautiful, seeing cum dripping out of her pussy and the smell of sex filling the room. In my many ways it was intimidating because I was unsure how to respond. It was not until sometime later when I began looking back that I began to understand it is not about finding enjoyment from the act of ‘unfaithfulness’ and it is not about finding joy from the remains of an act that did not involve you. She could easily bathe and was away all evidence of her lustful encounter. Instead she is choosing to share it with you. Enjoying ‘sloppy seconds,’ comes from inside by being able to see ‘sloppy seconds,’ as an interactive gift that is meant to be enjoyed. ‘Sloppy seconds,’ symbolizes the fulfillment of a fantasy that is meant for sharing and it gives a chance to relive your hotwife’s experience. Furthermore it symbolizes her love for you because she is willing to share something that intimate and allowing you to enjoy it.

Putting aside the fear to enjoy

As I have already said ‘sloppy seconds’ be intimidating but if it is seen as as a gift then it can be quite enjoyable. Enjoying ‘sloppy seconds’ requires being able to connect with you partner on an emotional level and physical level. The first step take time to look, explore, and experience it. Finger her, what does it feel like? What smells do you notice? Allow yourself to become a part of that moment. Next, if you are comfortable, is having your partner regale you with how it happened. Listen to what is being said, what images are now going through your mind as you explore their body? Are you able to connect with the experience and feel are you now a part of it?

Finally

Enjoying ‘sloppy seconds’ means putting aside those things that upset you in favor of viewing the beauty of the gift you are about to receive and finding a way to connect with the experience. It is about seeing the totality of the experience, the confirmation of love, and reaffirming your relationship. Also it is about the enjoying the physical beauty of ‘sloppy seconds’ through exploration. Therefore enjoying ‘sloppy seconds,’ is about being confident in yourself, loving the person you are with, and the willingness to enjoy the experience. If you can do this then you are on your way to enjoy ‘sloppy seconds.’

Other Articles of Interest

Easing into Cuckolding or Threesome

8 Cuckolding Secrets Every Couple Should Know

Watching My Wife Having Sex with Another Man

Cuckolding and the Power Sloppy Seconds

Debunking Cuckold Myths

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Easing into cuckolding or a threesome


easing into cuckolding and swingingIntroduction

The decision is reached to finally take ‘the plunge,’ and all is left is finding the right person. A few ideas get discussed about possible people to invite and the discussion includes using an ad on a web site. After taking time to search someone who appears to be a good match is found and the reality of having sex with someone outside of the relationship finally becomes real. Now hundreds of thoughts starting arising and confronting a new reality, one that was not thought of during the discussion, how do you ‘ease into’ having the experience?

Solution: Do what is comfortable

When it is not a good idea to have a cuckold or a threesome

‘Easing’ into a threesome or ‘easing’ into a cuckold indicates to me someone who does not know where their comfort level lies. It can also be a warning that boundaries have not been discussed or they were not in alignment with personal beliefs. At worst, it can be a sign that pressure or coercion is being used to gain agreement for a threesome indicating it the planned experience can cause harm.

Listening to ‘the voice’ for direction of ‘easing into’ a threesome or a cuckold

All of us has a ‘little voice in our head’ that tells us:  what is comfortable, the ‘voice’ tells us when we are leaving our comfort zone, and it tells us when we are outside of our level of comfort. Granted in a cuckolding and threesome situation there are two other people; however nothing happens unless you agree to it. This means, there is no reason why ‘the voice’ needs to be muted when it comes to a threesome or a cuckold. It also means, there is no reason as to why ‘the voice’ cannot act as a guide and act as an indicator of where your comfort level exists and use that indicator for establishing boundaries that build a level of trust.

Alternative solution: ‘dipping your toes in the shallow end’

If using your senses to help you guide you about where your comfort level exists and then communicating it does not work, another solution exists. This solution involves taking small steps and once a level of comfort is establish trying something more involved. Each of us has our own definition of a small step and it is not easy to define. Nonetheless, in the context of a threesome or cuckold, it tends to mean starting with a non-sexual activity then build.

Example 1: a fictitious example Mr. & Mrs. Jones

Mr Jones a 48 year old  accountant &  Mrs. Jones a 42 year old nurse agree to have a threesome. Mrs Jones has always enjoyed fantasies of a younger male having sex with her without Mr. Jones present. As a couple they discussed the idea and agreed to try it. As a part of their agreement they agree Mrs Jones will find a male and have sex with him without Mr Jones present. 

After agreeing they found a 38 year old male, Mark Smith but after  finding Mark Mrs. Jones begins having doubts and is unsure if she can go through with it. Mr & Mrs Jones discuss the issue. They discover their initial plan was too bold and scale it back. Instead of having it all happen at once, they agree Mrs. Jones will have a few ‘dates’ with Mark to see if she is ready for the experience.

Example 2: fictitious example George and Melissa

George and Melissa are a middle age couple who seek different ways to explore the boundaries of their relationship. Recently they have agreed to try a threesome with Paul. However, as the threesome approaches Melissa is finding she is unsure if she can go through with the planned threesome. As a result George and Melissa agree their first experience will be a soft-swinging experience and then afterwards they will evaluate the experience to see if the next encounter will be a full threesome.

Alternative Solution 2: KISS it

A good acronym to remember when planning your first threesome is KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid). Keeping a threesome or cuckold simple means setting realistic expectations and not viewing the experience as some type of marathon event. It also means, not pushing the boundaries and keeping the first experience simple thereby avoiding a lot of issues later. In a threesome an example of keeping it simple might be having each male having sex with the female instead of trying for ‘split roast’ or double penetration (dp).

When planning a threesome typically two mistakes are made. First mistake is not having boundaries and agreeing to allow anything to happen. Usually this is a bad idea because it does not provide a sense of security, it allows activities not considered to happen,  and it also opens the planned cuckold or threesome to conflict later. Second mistake is like being a child in a toy store and being overwhelmed with all of the choices. This can lead to planning a threesome that is outside of the comfort limit and make a participant uneasy.

Finally

Remember when planning your first threesome or cuckold by KISSing it will alleviate some of the stress associated with it. Also, by communicating it can help to plan a threesome or cuckold that is emotionally secure. There is nothing wrong with wanting to take a threesome or cuckolding experience slow. Just remember to communicate.

Other articles of interest

Secret #1: nice to have versus must have

Secret #2: separating emotional sex from physical sex

Secret #3: being confident

Secret #4: think marathon not sprint

Secret #5 – looking beyond quid pro quo

Secret #6 – it is the relationship

How to plan and manage a threesome using a checklist

Having the initial discussion

Moving beyond the initial conversation

8 cuckolding secrets every couple should know

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How to persuade them to have a threesome: Six secrets that will help you make your fantasy of having a threesome a reality


hot wife lying in waitingIntroduction

Wanting a threesome is the first step to have a threesome but convincing your ‘significant other,’the idea is a good idea is a hurdle that needs overcoming. Sometimes the hurdle is more like a mountain that is almost impossible to climb.

Article Overview

Each article covers an area to consider before approaching your ‘significant other’ about the idea and each secret addresses an area that can help you overcome their initial resistance to the idea. Whilst I cannot guarantee success, each secret when used in conjunction with the others can help increase your change of success or at least minimize the amount of time needed to discuss the topic before finding your third person.

Other articles of interest

Secret #1: nice to have versus must have

Secret #2: separating emotional sex from physical sex

Secret #3: being confident

Secret #4: think marathon not sprint

Secret #5 – looking beyond quid pro quo

Secret #6 – it is the relationship

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How to persuade them to have a threesome: Secret #6 – its the relationship


how do you enjoy herIntroduction

Building a house requires a solid foundation. Otherwise the house will collapse in a very short time. Having a threesome is like building a house. A good relationship with them is needed otherwise any threesome is at risk of collapsing.

Begin with the basics

Time together

The foundation to any relationship is the amount of time together and the more time the relationship is in place the more the couple becomes committed to each other. Time together and commitment do not necessarily correlate. Nonetheless the more time a couple is together the more they have invested in the relationship and the more likely they are willing to work through the issue. Also, the more time a couple is together before having a threesome the more they understand their partner’s idiosyncratic behaviors and understand their partner thereby being less likely to misunderstand their intention.

By being together for some time before having a threesome will help a couple to minimize some of the uncertainty of the outcome a threesome can bring and it gives the couple a better understanding the risk they are undertaking.

So what is a minimum time a couple should be together? While it is possible a couple that has been together for a few weeks can have an enjoyable and successful threesome, time together may become a factor for them the more they have a threesome. In my opinion I believe two to five years is a good starting point.

Communication

For any successful threesome communication is key. Communication is more than talking about where to order pizza or what movie to see. Having a threesome requires a more developed style of communication since it requires discussing subjects that more couples, who do not have threesomes, rarely discuss. This means being comfortable with any subject and being able to react rationally. Without solid communication being able to a threesome that is enjoyable is more difficult and more likely to lead to problems.

Invest time into the relationship

Avoid relationship apathy

The longer a couple is together, I believe, the more likely they are to take each other for granted. I do not believe it is intentional but I do believe with time, a routine develops. This routine leads to a level of predictably and security, which is fine. However, at some point the security that predictability provides becomes replaced with boredom. It is at this point when an affair happens.

Invest in the relationship

I believe, by investing time into the relationship it helps keep the ‘spark’ that binds the couple together and it builds long-term security for the relationship.  So what is investing in the relationship? It is anything that shows the relationship is important. This can include, though not limited to:

  • Date night
  • Making time for your spouse / partner
  • Listening to your spouse / partner
  • Saying positive things about your spouse / partner
  • Saying reaffirming things
  • Doing things to let them know they are special
  • Looking for solutions instead of always trying to compete

By taking the time to show your spouse / partner they matter to you it increases the chances that the relationship can survive having a threesome and increase the chance it can be a positive experience.

Threesome perspective

There are no secrets to convince your spouse / partner to have a threesome. A lot comes down to what they want and if they are comfortable with the idea. This means being prepared to love them for who they are an not what they are able to give you. Having a good relationship that is full of love and respect will go a long-way in trying to convince your spouse / partner to have a threesome. However it is not the ‘holy grail.’ The best you can do is love them, be patient, listen, and by showing them respect may bear the fruit you want.

Other articles of interest

Separating Sex from Love

Communication

Bringing up the idea

Getting comfortable with the idea of having sex with someone else

How to persuade them to have a threesome: Secret #5 – looking beyond quid pro quo

How to persuade them to have a threesome: Secret #4: think marathon not sprint

How to persuade them to have a threesome: Secret #3: being confident

How to persuade them to have a threesome: Secret #2: separating emotional sex from physical sex

How to persuade them to have a threesome: Secret #1: nice to have versus must have

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