Cuckolding statistics


jouney

searching for information is a journey that begins with a step

Due to the ethics involved in doing research, especially sex. It is very difficult to find studies that show estimates of sexual practices, especially cuckolding. Finding statistics on threesomes, swinging, and polyamory because each practice is common whereas cuckolding is less common.

Nonetheless, as I was doing some searching for cuckolding statistics I did come across a few good cuckolding articles on the Examiner. This link will take you from this site to the Examiner, which in no way associated with this site, and provide you with a list of articles. In the list there is one article of interest that talks about the rise of cuckolding but unfortunately does not provide concrete numbers. Also I do find the Examiner’s site lacking on specific information but is a good source for general information. Likewise Psychology Today has an article about the rise of cuckolding. Again it does not provide a concrete estimates on the practice but discusses it rise in popularity.

Additional Articles

Canadian Study on sex and threesome

Open relationship study

Librarian and Pastor into Threesomes

Taking one for the team

Who are swingers and polys?

Cuckolding web sites

Threesome Terminology

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10 Word Press articles you may have missed for the week of 12 May 2014


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This has been a very busy week for me a death in the family and having to travel to travel to London for an unrelated event. Nonetheless, I have had a chance to pull another list together.

Highlights

A Cavalier Attitude to Sex is a nice but a bit chaotic article that I normally will not choose to list. However, it discusses how obscenity is defined in Britain by shining a small penlight onto the laws that govern sex in the UK by discussing the Peacock case. I will not the Peacock case here beyond saying obscenity is not defined by a ‘community standard,’ but by a patchwork of cases and laws. This leads to a very confused interpretation of the term and forces many to take a defensive position to protect against possible litigation.

It’s Raining Men is a welcomed and refreshing article from Lifeofalovergirl. I always look forward to reading her work because it is insightful and it gives a perspective about relationships that is difficult find.

Six Studies that Offer Fascinating Conclusions about Human Sexuality even though Boy Lu5t titles the article 6 Studies, he only lists 1 – 5, which I can overlook since it the rush to publish you do not check your title fully aligns with your numbered list.  It is a good article that summarizes some recent research.

List

1)  tarte à la crème by Boy Lu5t

2)  Thursday Thrust by Pyx

3)  Poly What?: I Just Like Dick in my Butt by sodomgomorrahreporting

4)  A Cavalier Attitude to Sex by Sometimes It Is A Cigar

5)  Chapter 1 Michelle’s Journey of Becoming a Hot Wife by Threesomes and Variations

6)  10 Facts About Infidelity by Boy Lu5t

7)  It’s Raining Men by Lifeofalovergirl

8)  Six Studies That Offer Fascinating Conclusions About Human Sexuality by Boy Lu5t

9)  When Polyamorous Goes Wrong – Why I am Not Polyamourous but You May Want to be by Elisabeth Sheff

10) Being Primaries and Dynamics Shifting by Adventures of the Soul

April’s list

Week of 22 April 2014

Week of 15 April 2014

Week of 29 April 2014

May’s list

Week of 5 May 2014

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Family message about sex and impact on wanting a threesome


Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality is a great source of research regarding sexual behavior and it is a good source for understanding the research surrounding sexual behavior. Recently a 16 June 2013 article talk about the role of family messaging about sex and its impact.

The sample was college / university students who receive extra credit and it raises questions about it application to adults older than 30. Also using a survey does raise questions about how the students responded. Nonetheless it does provide insight on how an individual’s family can shape a individual’s attitude about having a threesome. This can have a prolific impact on bringing up the idea, the response received, and attitude towards the threesome after it happens.

It is a good article for understanding how previous messages about sex can shape the experience and by understanding the article, it can help with discussing the topic. Therefore I encourage anyone wanting more understanding to read the article and think about how the message about sex impacts us all.

Analysis of open relationship study


English: A schematic showing the monogamy rela...

 

As stated in my previous blog, this author may due some analysis of an interesting study regarding open relationship. For those of you may not have read the previous blog regarding this interview study, it is a small study involving 86 gay male couples in a long-term open relationship and secure enough to discuss how the dealt with being in this type of relationship. Many came from San Francisco and California with the remainder coming from either large metropolitan states (e.g. NY or IL) or internationally.

 

The study primarily focused on how they dealt with managing their relationship from the start of discussing opening it through how it is maintained. It goes on to examine what non-monogamy looks like, the boundaries involved, and the impact it has.

 

Like any study it has limitations. Granted ethical considerations can limit the research being done, especially when it comes to sex. In addition the small sample size and limited geographical representation tends to represent open relationships in more metropolitan areas while under representing the issues couples, in open relationships face in suburban or rural areas. The fact this study examines gay male couples is not a major limitation, this author feels, since open relationships are common with gay males it offers generalizations that can be made about open relationships for heterosexual and lesbian couples.

 

The strength of this study lies in its examination of the boundaries and defining what is non-monogamy. By defining non-monogamy it covers all types of threesomes such as cuckolding, friends with benefits, threesomes and poly relationships thereby making it easier to generalize to non-gay open relationships.

 

Nonetheless, the when reading the article it becomes apparent the author interchangeably uses the words open relationship and non-monogamy. There are some like this author who feel there is a distinction between the two. This author believes the degree to which emotional monogamy exists in the relationship along with the context of the agreed sex outside of the relationship defines if the relationship is open. Likewise, the degree to which non-monogamy exists is defined by the degree to which physical and emotional monogamy exists in the relationship. Since this article deals with gay couples in an open relationship then the two terms most likely can be used interchangeably; however, a limitation of this article is the fact the author did not define the terms from the beginning and for some it can create confusion that the two different words mean the same.

 

Another strength of this article is the use of statistics and the use of participants’ answers to support points raised. For example the authors, at the beginning, talk about opening up the relationship. It provides statistics for how long it took to open the relationship and then drew on some of the comments made to further support their statements.

 

A third strength of this article is the time it devotes to boundaries and the extent involvement occurs. The section on boundaries specifically relates to gay couples in an open relationship, it can provide heterosexual couples who are struggling with the concept of boundaries insight on boundaries. Likewise the section regarding involvement. It is a detailed section that is well worth reading since it can provide insight for non-gay couples wanting to learn more about the risks of emotional involvement.

 

Overall the article is constructed in a very logical and understandable way. The one area, for future research, should be is how the couples arrived at the decision to open up the relationship. Granted the authors states there is no road map to non-monogamy but does not support the claim, to the extent they do with other parts of the article. There is some mention about how the open relationship started but not the events leading up to that point.

 

Another area for consideration is a comparison of heterosexual couples with gay male and lesbian couples who are in an open relationship. By doing this, it will help others to understand some of the common principles that underpin an open relationship. Likewise those who struggle with being in an open relationship versus those who are secure with it. While there are some limitations to this article, this author feels there is useful information for anyone wanting to further understand open relationships.

 

 

 

Study on long-term gay open relationships


English: DIGNITY & RESPECT (2001) is a U.S. Ar...

The links take you to a study, on ejhs.org  and felt some of my followers might enjoy reading it. The study examines gay males in long-term open relationships. While some may feel because it relates to gay males it has no value to heterosexual couples or lesbian couples in an open relationship. In my opinion, it can provide some insight and  regarding how an open relationship operates, maintains itself, and evolves over time. However the one minor issue with the study is alluding all forms of threesomes are a form of an open relationship. From reading the study it is difficult to know how the researchers define open relationship. It is this author’s opinion, if couple has threesome and does not have their own separate experience then the relationship is not open.

This is a small study with 86 couples. With any study relating to sex there are some limitations and biases to the study. Since this study involves interviews instead of being a controlled study or a study were couples are observed it means there are other possible reasons for the results.  Some reasons could be wanting to please the interviewer by giving answers they believe they wanted, being guarded about revealing too much information, and giving socially acceptable answer. Plus research ethical requirements can place limitations on studies of this type due to potential damage and the private nature of sex. Finally the researchers note the sample being primarily middle-age white males and the authors note the encountered reluctance to participate. This can skew the results and limit the study’s ability to be generalized.

Nonetheless, I feel this study may provide insight in how open relationships evolve and operate in a relationship, regardless if it heterosexual or homosexual. Some interesting findings I feel that are worth considering and may be applicable to other couples include, though not limited to:

  • 42% of couples surveyed were initially monogamous
  • 6% moved away from being open and towards monogamy
  • 58% made the decision to open up their relationship between 1 – 24 years into relationship with 24% being in the relationship more than 7 years before agreeing to open up their relationship. The average time being 6.6 years
  • Couples find their own road-map in to non-monogamy
  • 56% of couples chose to play together & separately
  • Couples that ‘share’ non-monogamy together (e.g. threesomes) evolved into having their own experiences
  • Communication being essential

This author may follow-up with a further analysis regarding this study and talk about it applicability to other couples. However this article this study seems to suggest that about 50% of those in long-term relationships practice involving their partner in at least some of their sexual experiences with someone else. Such a result is quite interesting since it suggests for a open relationship to survive, for many couples, involving their significant other in some experiences is necessary. It raises the question why does it occur? Is a trust issue or it is a boding / sharing issue? Also this study suggests that there is not specific stages a relationship goes through as it evolves into an open relationship. Instead it seems to suggest the each couple finds their own way in having an open relationship. Finally this study seems to reinforce the need for communication in order to maintain the relationship.

If you have read the study what are your thoughts?