Your local librarian or pastor may be into threesomes without you ever knowing


a trio of languid lesbians enjoying a salami.

This is an older article from 2000 and it remains one of my favorite. It examines the characteristics of swingers and compares them to characteristics of the general population. Granted swinging covers many other sexual practices beyond having a threesome and it generally involves people who have incorporated in their sexual practices. Nonetheless it remains one of my favorites since it highlights the fact the some of the people you would least expect to be interested in having a threesome are the ones having it and it challenges the stereotype of a middle-aged liberal agnostic / atheist as the ones who are swinging.

As with any article relating to threesomes and alternative sexual practices there are always biases. Some of the biases come from the type of research being done. In this article an online survey was done, which means there may be some duplication even though attempts were made to eliminate duplicate answers and there are always issues regarding using online resources. Such as issues with coding, any network issues, any hardware issues, and reasons why people may start the survey then abandon it. Finally there are issues with they type of research being done. When surveys are done there is a tendency for people to provide socially acceptable answers and to view the question in the most positive light for themselves. Plus depending on how the questions are written, it will influence the way the individual responds. Given very little research is done in area it is difficult to know how representative it is.

Having read the article, I do not believe, there are obvious biases that have influenced the results. Though, I do question the results show swingers tend to slightly more religious. As an author, I know there is a public person we all have that we maintain and then
there is a private persona that our partner is only that sees
it. Having lived in a religious and politically conservative state for over two decades, I know there is a disconnect between religion and personal beliefs, especially amongst Christians. If there was congruency between faith and religion then the state I lived in would have a nearly non-exist DWI rate along (many in its penitentiary are serving time for DWI offenses), not being a national leader in arrests for transport for a well known illegal drug (it is not ‘pot’ a lot harsher) and finding someone for a threesome would be much difficult. So, this author is not disagreeing with some of the findings and it may be this survey captured a shift in the swinging population; however, it is difficult to know if this is a bias.

 

7 thoughts on “Your local librarian or pastor may be into threesomes without you ever knowing

  1. You’re right – there’s really no telling who might be into alternative sexual relationships and, no, religious beliefs and/or occupations really don’t play into this as much as one might think.

    I know quite a few such people. I’ve talked to them about how their reconcile their religious beliefs with what they are doing and humans, being the rather clever animal they tend to be, are quite able to compartmentalize things, like, their belief in God is a separate thing from their actions that are contrary to that belief. They could be bullshitting themselves… but I don’t think they are; they see their faith and belief as a sort of ‘get out of jail free’ card or, more realistically, they feel their personal relationship with God is a lot more specific than just a general religious belief.

    Or, perhaps better, when one steps out of the boundaries of what is morally acceptable and a bolt of lightning didn’t smite them for even thinking about it, then it must be okay.

    The one thing a lot of folks understand, in my opinion, is that society’s rules about this are designed to focus our sexual energies into one direction only and for a singular purpose – that perpetuation of the species thing again. They understand that while there are those who are capable of abstaining from sex, um, they ain’t one of those people so as long as their faith (in this case) remains intact, well, let’s do this thing and in whatever ways they can get away with.

    Regardless of faith, occupation, whatever, a person’s sexual habits are still a very private thing and something to be kept separate from their public lives. Of course, some people fail to maintain that separation… and some people just don’t care who knows what floats their boats. I find it interesting that behavioral sciences continue their attempt to quantify this, which is probably good because it’s better to know a thing than not to know it… but this subject just doesn’t lend itself well to statistical analysis – too much room for error and spurious data.

    Finally, I point to the ongoing scandal in the Catholic Church, involving men who are, by their calling, most devout and dedicated in their beliefs and following… and they’re having sex albeit the illegal kind. Even more, there are those who have had ‘normal’ sexual relationships outside of their calling and while we call their actions into question, no one is really questioning their faith/belief.

    We have politicians who are, for some reason, supposed to be of higher moral standing than the average man… and we know what some of them have been doing. Again, we question their actions… but not their dedication to doing the job they were elected to do – unless they make us mad but that’s different.

    The librarian you mention in the title of your blog? No longer is this an occupation where the only focus of your live is a love of books – the spinster librarian is so a thing of the past. He/she have come to realize that they can have their great passion for literature… and their passion for doing the wild thing, too.

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