First Time cuckolding: The once in a lifetime roller coaster ride that is worth taking


galleryFirst Time? No Ticket Required

I remember riding a roller coaster as a kid. The fear of heights along with the fear of falling out that always made me nervous of riding a roller coaster. Then as the roller coaster climbed to the top rushing down, emotional rush as it speeds down the hill.

Cuckolding in some ways is like being on a roller coaster. Once she agrees to try cuckolding and a lot of images miraculously enter your mind. Not everyone cuckolds and a feeling of privilege begins overtaking your body like a tidal wave. The feeling, is like winning the lottery or receiving membership in an exclusive club. It is something very unique. Soon questions, fears, anxiety, and a flurry of other emotions begins to grip your mind. A feeling of being overwhelmed hits and questions such as, is this normal enter your mind?

What is it like during the time from ‘yes’ to the actual experience and then afterwards? What can I do to help me through the time? Agreeing to be cuckold can be a rich and rewarding experience. However until you have the experience, know what to expect, and know the outcome then the experience is best describe as an emotional roller coaster.

The Journey

1) Emotional Roller coaster

After agreeing to have a cuckold, it is common for emotions fluctuate very quickly and to fluctuate for varying lengths of time. In the beginning it is common to feel elation and maybe some fear. During this time fear is quickly ignored because of the surge of feeling immense joy over the upcoming event.

Then as the day gets closer extremes feelings happen. Suddenly you feel excitement and then fear.  The fear grips your mind and then every thing that can go wrong appears in your mind, like a bad dream. Panic can happen and doubts if this is the right choice happens. Right before succumbing to the fear, reality comes to rescue by removing the fear.

Now the day arrives and she leaves for her date. At first a quiet calm happens, feeling like a member of an exclusive club and feeling privilege leads to a feeling of euphoria. As the feeling of euphoria beings to wane, fear begins chirping like a child wanting to know how much longer. The feeling of euphoria stifles the sound of fear but as the feeling of euphoria diminishes like a mother who cannot keep saying no. Soon fear takes over. Is she safe? Is she enjoying herself? What will she be like when she gets home? Is our relationship over? Why did I agree to this when I could have said no? starting playing like a tape recording.

The cycle of feeling euphoria and fear continues. Watching television or playing a game of solitaire is not an option since the emotional roller coaster is creating too much anxiety. Only a distraction can work.

2) Need for distraction

The need for a distraction is fairly obvious by providing an emotional balance during this time that will not cause harm later. A distraction can be as simple as housework, gardening, or going to a movie. It can involve a friend or a group. However, not everyone wants to know about cuckolding or someone’s sexual adventure therefore it becomes necessary being selective discussing the reason for distraction.

3) Desire to push the limits

During the time of joy, euphoria, or excitement feeling like nothing can bad can happen does occur. It leads to a feeling of invincibility and the willingness the change boundaries because nothing bad can happen. This feeling comes about from being a part of a privilege and for the most part, a secret club. However, we tend to forget superman had his Krypton and every club has it rules.

4) Relationship Changes

Through the emotional highs and emotional lows something is quietly happening in the background, change. That is right change to the relationship is occurring. Nothing is frozen forever in time and we are not able to go back in time to fix or prevent something from going wrong.

In a few days, weeks, or months, she is going to have sex with someone outside of the relationship. This will mean the relationship, for better or worse, will change. Change will occur in threesome stages.

First stage is the immediate stage. This is the time from right after she returns for the first few weeks. It is the time when the relationship copes with the cuckolding experience and redefines itself. During this period there is a lot of change occurring.

Second stage is the latency stage. After the resolution of the first stage there is a period of relative quiet where very little occurs. This can last for a few days, weeks, or months.

Final stage is the new normal. Through all of the discussions that have occurred, perception of the experience, and attitudes towards each other will redefine this stage. This is the point where the relationship finally works resolves the issues and defines how the couple will relate to each other.

5) Empowerment

During relationship changes and the fluctuations of emotions that are occurring there is something very quietly working in the background, empowerment. Cuckolding can be a very empowering experience for a couple. For him it is about expressing his desire in an open way and having his desire met. This means he is able to openly communicate his tawdry desire and have it met without fear of retribution. Depending on the form the couple’s cuckolding takes, it can be a way for him to give control to his wife and unburden some of the pressure he feels.

For her is a lot deeper. By cuckolding she is able to confirm her sexual desirability to someone else without fear of loosing the relationship. This can be a very powerful experience because it can show her she is more than a wife, a mother, and she is a sexual person.

Finally for the couple, cuckolding provides a route for improving the communication and a way to get their needs met.

Journey Aftermath

6) Knowing the Details

Trying cuckolding means only one person has sex with someone outside of the relationship that is done with the knowledge and consent of the other person in the relationship. This can be prove a very powerful aphrodisiac for a couple because one of them has an experience the other does not and by sharing the details of the experience it can be something that binds them as a couple.

This raises the question, how do you share the details? From my experience, the best way is to tell it like a story and tell it as a part of foreplay. Focus on the feelings, scents, mood, and anything else that can draw your partner into the story. Use a tone a voice that is  suggestive and inviting. Do not rush it and do not have him just laying listening to the story. Instead have him experience the story by becoming a part of it. Have him do the some of things you were experiencing and encourage him. If he asks any questions be hones but positive.

7) Sloppy seconds

One of the succulent rewards of cuckolding is experiencing sloppy seconds. Feeling her stretched from another cock being deep inside of her along with her red swollen lips and if no condom was used, the warm sticky feeling of her lover’s cum. Also there is usually a subtle smell of must.

Sloppy seconds is a result of an experience each individual openly embraced and something that should be enjoyed instead of being shunned.

For her it is a sign of her desirability to another and for him it is a sign of his fantasy being fulfilled. Ideally they should take time together before falling asleep to share and enjoy the experience together.

8) Best Sex of your life

The smell of sex along with details of the experience and experiencing sloppy seconds can lead to an incredible sexual experience. Especially if it is done shortly after she comes home. From my experience, nothing can compare to it.

9) Improved Communication

After the experience and as the relationship finds its ‘new normal.’ One of the possible benefits is seeing improved communication. Especially feeling less afraid to discuss ideas and an open willingness to share ideas that can lead to an increase in trust.

10) Trust Issues

After the euphoria, from hearing the details and enjoying sloppy seconds, reality begins to enter. Questions such as, what happened? How could I have agreed to this? Why did I agree to this? can occur. This happens because the emotional roller coaster is ending, relationship changes are occurring, and facing the reality of what is happening can create issues of trust. This is normal and happens as the relationship undergoes changes that brings up trust issues. It is important to see the experience as a journey not an isolate series of events and to discuss the issue, in a calm and non-judgmental, manner.

In contrast it is very possible cuckolding can be a very positive experience that confirms trust in the relationship and allows the relationship to grow further.

Finally

Cuckolding is not right for every couple. For those that it suitable then cuckolding can be a great experience for any couple who is willing to undertake the risk, who is willing to communicate, and trust each other. It can bring them together, provide powerful visual images for foreplay that will last for many years, and it can improve their communication. It is one roller coaster ride, for the right couple, that is worth taking.

Related Articles

Cuckolding Guide: Enjoying Sloppy Seconds

Power of Sloppy Seconds

Her first date: A cuckolding guide for her

Her first date: A cuckolding guide for him

After Yes Now What: A cuckolding beginners guide

10 things you should know about cuckolding but were afraid to ask

Cuckolding for Couples: Making cuckolding a partnership

Follow me

Follow me on Google+

Follow me on twitter – @3somes3

Follow me on tubmblr

10 things you should know about cuckolding but were afraid to ask


cuckolding guideIntroduction:

Cuckolding is a taboo subject that is rarely discussed publicly. Instead it is left for porn, opinionated talk show hosts, evening news stations during sweeps week and romance novels that create a seedy view of the subject. From the seedy image created couples become too afraid to discuss it only to find when the subject is brought up it triggers a strong emotional reaction. If a couple decide to pursue cuckolding many times the have to ‘feel their way in the dark’ and hope they have made the right decision. Sometimes the decision may be wrong putting her at risk and their relationship. The answers below is not a panacea for bringing the discussion of cuckolding ‘out of the closet’ but it is a starting point for couples wanting basic information of the cuckolding experience.

1) How should I bring up the idea?

Bringing up the idea of cuckolding can be very daunting, especially if not much discussion about the idea has previously occurred. Before bringing up the idea many different scenarios of how to bring up the idea and the possible reactions of your partner / spouse may occur. The scenarios may strike fear that prevents the subject form being discussed.

It is important to realize playing the scenarios is a protective mechanism to ensure there is not an impulsive rush to discuss the topic that can cause damage to the relationship and to work through the best way to bring up the subject. Likewise there is a chance having the scenarios play in your mind may also be based on anxiety, a fear of bringing up the subject and this is fine because you may not be ready. Once you bring up the subject your relationship will forever change and do not bring it up until you are ready.

When you are ready there is no generally accepted way of bringing up the idea. The best bay to bring it up, this author believes, is from a loving way that shows respect. This means:

  • Listening to your spouse / partner has to say
  • Not arguing
  • Not belittling them because they do not agree with you
  • Letting them know you care for them
  • Letting them know the suggestion of cuckolding has nothing to do with being bored with them
  • Choosing words your spouse / partner can relate to
  • Avoiding emotive words that provoke strong negative emotional reactions
  • Understanding why you want to a cuckolding experience
  • Positives can come from the experience
  • Risks to the relationship & how those risks will be handled
  • Having more than one discussion to work though the issues

2) How is cuckolding similar to a threesome?

Cuckolding and having a threesome are similar in two ways. First, when searching online cuckolding tends to get clumped with threesomes under categories such as: threesomes, wife sharing, swinging, or group sex. This is because fewer couples opt for cuckolding than threesomes and two activities share some basic characteristics. If you are online there are a few hallmarks that indicate a cuckolding rather than threesome is being sought. Typically this will include couples who want the primary male to watch or wife wants to play alone.

Second similarity there are three people involved but the extent to which the two males interact varies a lot. In some situations there may be a hybrid threesome where the couple will have a threesome with the invited male and sometimes the woman will meet the invited male without her husband / partner being present. Other scenarios the two males never meet and know very little about each other.

Third similarity, is what this author terms, couples cuckolding. Couples cuckolding is a hybrid of cuckolding and having a threesome. In a couples cuckolding scenario the cuckolding experience is short-term without the woman becoming emotionally involved with the other male. The cuckolding experience is done for the couple to allow them to experience something a completely monogamous relationship cannot provide but still remain emotionally monogamous to each other.

3) How does cuckolding differ from having a threesome?

One the surface cuckolding and having a threesome can seem to be quite similar. Imagine comparing a green apple to a golden delicious. Both are apples but it is not until analyzing the apples that the differences are known. For example you can eat a green apple but it is primarily for baking. Whereas the golden delicious is more suited for eating or making apple sauce because of its higher water content.  The same holds true when comparing a threesome to cuckolding. It is not until digging deeper into the structure of the two that the differences becomes obvious.

The biggest noticeable difference is in the structure. Having a threesome is best described as a team activity, like baseball or European football. Whereby the experience is shared. Success is dependent on each person executing their roles and the communication that occurs. Whereas cuckolding is more like an individual activity like karate, marathon running, or tennis. Cuckolding requires the woman to define for herself what she wants and needs then do it.  For her to have a successful experience it depends more on the support she receives than team effort.

Following closely with structure many pure cuckolding incorporates some form of BDSM. Typically it will be some form of small penis humiliation or some form of domination whereby sex gets withheld for a time. The extent to which this is incorporated and the extent to which, the practice bleeds into the couple’s daily life varies greatly. It can be said, for a limited number of couples, the line between cuckolding and daily life becomes blurred.

Another aspect that closely relating to structure is time needed. Having a threesome only requires everyone being comfortable enough with each other for sex to occur and for it to be physically enjoyable. Whereas cuckolding, in most circumstances, involves emotional attachment and this typically involves more vetting.

4) Is cuckolding the same as an open relationship?

This author believes is a form of an open relationship. Whereby the man remains monogamous, in most situations, and the woman forms a long-term emotional relationship with another man / other men. By definition it is not a true open relationship but a variation of it.

5) What type of boundaries should we have?

Boundaries are meant to protect the relationship and to protect the person. It is a way of mitigating a potentially emotionally damaging experience and increasing the chance it becomes an emotionally positive experience. This does not mean boundaries are ‘set in stone.’ but become something change with experience. By not having boundaries can put her at risk and put your relationship at risk too. As we have seen earlier cuckolding is not the same as having a threesome and having similar boundaries will not work.

Boundaries should be based on emotional need, physical need, and safety. As a result boundaries are unique to the couple and their situation, which means providing universal boundaries are difficult. Examples of potential cuckolding boundaries might include:

  • Meeting any potential partners for her
  • Discussing the experience
  • No overnight stays
  • When to text message or call
  • Frequency of meeting
  • Safe-sex
  • Agreeing cuckolding is a mutual decision whereby she may form an emotional attachment to another man
  • When to discuss experience

6) Where can I find a ‘bull’ or someone suitable?

Finding someone can happen anywhere such as the guy standing in front of you checking out at the grocery store or the car wash attendant. It depends on the type of man being sought and the need for privacy. There are a lot of dating web sites and affair related web site that cater to this type of activity. Since they are many and we are not paid to advertise them, this author is not going to list them. Also, swingers clubs can offer opportunities and off-premise events, where no sex occurs, sometimes called munches offer other opportunities.

Regardless of where you search the more important aspect is finding someone who is compatible and this can take some work. This will need some questioning and investment of time before agreeing to anything.

7) What changes may occur in our relationship?

Anytime when you introduce a third into the your relationship it will cause it to change. Typically you may find:

  • Before a ‘date’ she becomes distant
  • She may take time to prepare
  • Sex may become less
  • May become uncomfortable talking about her experiences
  • You may find feeling fearful or anxious
  • Your sex drive may increase or decrease
  • You may find experiencing a plethora of emotions that feel like a roller coaster
  • Conflict may increase over her dates, conflict may increase over feelings of relationship security, or other issues

8) Should they go alone on their first date?

Going to your first date alone is a decision you / she will have to make depending on the situation, the relationship, and all of the dynamics involved. However, from a personal protection standpoint it may be a good idea. Bringing him with helps with a few things:

  • Provides a buffer. If after speaking with the other man on the phone they are not suitable then having your spouse / partner there can help making leaving easier.
  • It lets the other male know this is being done in the open and he does not have to worry about a jealous husband / partner.
  • By bring him with it will help him put a name with a face. This should help ease some concerns he has.
  • It also helps give a second opinion about the suitability of the invited man.
  • It might help safety since your spouse / partner will know what he looks like.

If during the meeting things work out with the invited male then your spouse / husband can leave to leave you alone.

9) Cuckolding experience expectations ?

If you are expecting a scene from a romance novel where your lover sweeps you off of your feet from your husband / spouse or if you envision a scene from a movie where he is ripping off your clothes then maybe your expectations are a bit too high. We all have expectations that are not met then we feel disappointed and cuckolding is no different. Keep your expectations realistic instead of media based. Remember you are dealing with two other people who have feelings, expectations, and needs that sometimes conflict. Being able to resolve those conflicts will be vital for an enjoyable experience. The best way to set expectations is to ask yourself, what do you hope to get from the experience and then find someone who can meet them while communicating to your spouse / partner is the best way. Only by communicating and problem solving will you be able to achieve your needs.

10) Should I let my husband enjoy sloppy seconds?

Depending on the situation and boundaries sloppy seconds may become a part of the equation. Sloppy seconds is a sign to your husband / partner that you have had sex outside of your relationship with them depending on how confident they are they may either enjoy it or become upset. For the right couple it can be something that is shared between them that binds the.

Especially when just starting, there maybe feelings of remorse or guilt over having the experience. It can make sharing sloppy seconds difficult and be seen as a sign of shame. The reality is there is nothing wrong with sloppy seconds and it is something that should be viewed positively.

Finally

Cuckolding like getting out of bed, crossing the street, and driving to work carries risk. Living a risk-free life is not possible and if we could then I suspect life would become boring. Risk is something that can make life interest and motivating. However it can cause a lot of pain and heartache too. The above is meant as a guide to help couples who are considering cuckolding to help mitigate their risk and begin ‘opening the door’ on the subject. When it comes to cuckolding there are no right answer. Nonetheless by taking your time, discussing the subject and trusting each other then the answer for you, as a couple, will be found.

Other Articles of Interest

Cuckolding Beginners Guide for Her: Surviving the First Date

Cuckolding Beginners Guide: Enjoying Sloppy Seconds

Couples Cuckolding

Universal Boundaries

FAQs Regarding Boundaries

5 Laws for Establishing Boundaries

Cuckolding Relationship

Easing into Cuckolding or Threesome

8 Cuckolding Secrets Every Couple Should Know

Watching My Wife Having Sex with Another Man

Cuckolding and the Power Sloppy Seconds

Debunking Cuckold Myths

Defining Monogamy

Finding the Balance

Threesome Terminology

Follow me

Follow me on Google+

Follow me on twitter – @3somes3

Follow me on tubmblr

Cuckolding Beginners Guide: Surviving the First Date


Surviving the first dateIntroduction

The cuckolding fantasy give a safe place to view the experience and have the ideal outcome.  Once the first date approaches the fantasy metamorphosis into a storm at sea with the flurry of emotions, the fear, and panic before being replaced with excite the first date brings. It is not until she arrives home and discussing the experience does the storm finally subside. So, how do you survive the storm that comes with the first date?

Boundaries

Starting point is establishing basic boundaries. Cuckolding is not a threesome and will need very different boundaries. A boundary for a threesome might be no kissing, one-off, or no anal sex. This is because having a threesome is a team activity whereby each person can verify the other is following each boundary and as a couple become comfortable with having a threesome their need for specific boundaries begin the wane. Therefore, a boundary in a threesome situation is more about comfort and providing a degree of emotional safety to make sure the threesome does not go beyond a certain points.

However, in a cuckold having a boundary is more about physical safety or relationship safety than emotional safety. Examples of boundaries may include:

  • No staying overnight
  • Call / text to give update about the date is progressing
  • Number of times in a month she meets the other man
  • Amount and type of communication that can occur
  • Degree to which the discussing the events of her being intimate with someone else
  • Meeting the other male and being to ‘veto’ him if not acceptable.

It can be said, having a cuckold requires a higher degree of trust and a deeper understanding of what cuckolding involves to make sure safety.

Build up the relationship

Building up the relationship  prior to the first date is vital for ensuring a positive cuckolding experience and ensuring the relationship can survive the experience. This means any relationship issue that can cause a problem is resolved before the first date and it means finding a way to connect at an emotional level to bond.

Next building up the relationship can also mean changing your communication style whereby the focus changes from superficial discussions to problem resolution. Such a change may involve talking about feelings, needs, and then working towards an agreeable solution.

Finally, building up the relationship means supporting her through the experience in order for it to be a positive experience for her. It may need helping her prepare for the first day and making herself look attractive. This may mean putting aside your feelings to help her feel confident that this is the right decision.

Relationship Changes

As the first date gets closer there may be noticeable relationship changes:

  • She may become emotionally distant
  • She may want more time to herself
  • Sex may decrease or stop
  • Anxiety and fear about the relationship may become more common
  • Arguments may increase
  • Premature ejaculation or inability to become erect
  • She may become more focused on appearance

It is important to view them as normal but after the first date, they can be a sign of an issue that needs discussing.

Distraction

The first time can be quite unnerving. She is gone, hopefully enjoying herself with someone else while you are left alone. It is a time when fear and anxiety build that can lead to a hasty decision being made. It is important while she is out a distraction is found that does not involve using drugs, does not involve using alcohol and does not shopping. From my experience, if you are at home, cleaning is a good distraction. Likewise going to a movie or going out also serves as distinction.

Post Date Relationship Changes

Cuckolding will forever change your relationship and each encounter makes it more difficult for the relationship to return to an exclusive relationship.  It is important to expect change and the degree, to which, the change will occur will depend on how the experience impacts each of you.

Finally

Until the first date cuckolding is only a fantasy. However, as the first date approaches the relationship will under go temporary changes that may involve creating an emotional distance to prepare for the cuckolding experience along with the male noticing sexual changes. After the date it is likely there will be changes to the relationship and to make sure the experience is positive the couple will need to make sure they continue to communicate. The first date can be a positive experience if you plan for it, communicate, and view any change positively.

Other Articles of Interest

Cuckolding Beginners Guide for Her: Surviving the First Date

Cuckolding Beginners Guide: Enjoying Sloppy Seconds

Universal Boundaries

FAQs Regarding Boundaries

5 Laws for Establishing Boundaries

Cuckolding Relationship

Easing into Cuckolding or Threesome

8 Cuckolding Secrets Every Couple Should Know

Watching My Wife Having Sex with Another Man

Cuckolding and the Power Sloppy Seconds

Debunking Cuckold Myths

Follow me

Follow me on Google+

Follow me on twitter – @3somes3

Follow me on tubmblr

8 cuckolding secrets every new couple should know


ready for cuckoldingCuckolding Secrets

We see our wife or girlfriend flirting with another guy and it gets us thinking maybe letting her fuck him would be quite sensual. Maybe there is a ‘hot’ co-worker that you want to fuck but not sure how to approach your husband or spouse. Unfortunately there are very few objective sources of information on how to plan something like this. Instead we are left with imagery of a forbidden act that is rarely publicly discussed and now in this article, some of the mystery is removed by exposing some of the cuckolding secrets

1) Cuckolding can be liberating

Confidentially cuckolding is a very eye-opening experience. I remember my first experience with Brittany. We started talking about the idea and I was fine with it. Then once she went ahead with it, I remember the near crippling fear it created for me and the panic worrying about her. I remember pacing through the house  going through a lot of feelings very quickly. One moment I am frantic worrying about the relationship and what it will mean for us. Then the next moment I envisioning her having mind-blowing sex with the other guy and I remember how the image of her having sex with someone else aroused me. After coming home and sharing the experience with me, it was stunning how liberating the experience was for me.

2) Cuckolding is not like porn or web sites

Insiders know cuckolding is very different that how it gets portrayed. Cuckolding is a forbidden activity that is not mentioned on television, the movies, or in the print media. The vacuum that is created is filled by porn and cuckolding web sites that can paint a biased picture of experience. Reddit,I believe, does a good job at providing a balanced image of cuckolding but it does not provide a lot of information regarding relationships.

Having a cuckold will forever change your relationship. It can be the poison that plummets the relationship into turmoil before finally killing it. Alternatively it can be a sensual wonderful experience that transform the relationship for the better.

3) Cuckolding comes in many forms

I believe it is preposterous believing cuckolding is strictly a fetish or it is strictly a BDSM activity. Instead cuckolding is a very sensual experience that has many forms. It can be:

  • An open-relationship whereby the man remains monogamous and the woman enter in a long-term emotional relationship with another man while preserving her primary relationship
  • A BDSM activity where Domination (e.g. woman taking on another lover) and Submission (e.g. male agreeing and not having sex with her prior to her being with her male lover) is a part of the experience. There can be a lot of variation and depth to the experience. A lot depends on the boundary of the couple.
  • One off experience whereby the woman has sex with another man with her partner’s full knowledge and consent.

4) Cuckolding is not about penis size

I believe it is arrogant to assume small penis size = cuckolding. There is a lot of research that contradicts this argument and I believe cuckolding is a lot deeper than a one-dimensional element, penis size.

5) Communication

Cuckolding is not a threesome and it is more similar to an open relationship where one person remain monogamous. As a result the need for clear concise communication is essential. If cuckolding is going to work then as a couple need communicating and working through any issue that may arise, such as jealousy, is vital.

6) Relationship must come first

Relationship coming first is one rule I quickly learned and practice. Cuckolding maybe the steamy and tawdry experience the two of you believe you want.  However, your relationship with your spouse must take priority. Losing sight of your relationship can put your relationship into a tailspin that smashes and delivers the deathblow to it. Finding a way to maintain the relationship while cuckolding will probably the biggest challenge.

7) Cuckolding can secure a relationship

Cuckolding, I do not believe, can fix a poor relationship and I believe, if couple chooses cuckolding as a way for fix their relationship then it is likely the relationship will take a pummeling resulting in the death of the relationship. Nonetheless I do believe, if a couple has a good relationship then it is possible the result will be a securer relationship.

8) Cuckolding is about trust, power, communication

When you peel back all the layers of cuckolding the core of cuckolding I believe cuckolding is about is trust, power, and communication.

a) Trust

Without trust cuckolding, I believe, is cheating. Cuckolding requires:

  • boundaries are followed
  • cuckolding relationship will not bleed into the relationship
  • relationship will continue

This means level of trust must be there allowing each person feeling secure in their relationship with the other.

b) Power

This will not be a treatises on the discuss of power in the relationship.

In the United States the issue of relationship power is prevalent but oddly, it is not a big topic in Europe. Nonetheless relationship power means who drives the relationship in specific area (e.g. money) and there is a constant struggle for power.

Regarding cuckolding there is a transfer of power to the woman by the man. Arguably it can be said the male is the true holder of the power in a cuckolding relationship but for this article I will keep it simple by saying the woman has the power.

Why? He is agreeing to let her have sex with another of her choice for something in return. She then takes that power to decide who she will pick and how she will allow the other man to fuck her. Essentially he is submitting to her will. Depending on the dynamics of their relationship, power in the relationship may be very one-sided or it maybe more egalitarian.

c) Communication

Communication has already been addressed and I will not regurgitate it here. Instead I will state at is core cuckolding communication can be the drive that improves the relationship by forcing the couple to rethink how they communicate with each other. Cuckolding will fundamentally force changing their communication style in order to accommodate the additional demands cuckolding will place on them. If done right the changes made by a couple regarding communication maybe the behind the scenes reason they appear happy to other couples.

Finally – the secret is

Cuckolding is seen by many as a forbidden activity because of its mystery and potential risk to a relationship. Nonetheless there is nothing to fear if the secrets of this forbidden activity is understood. The key in having a thrilling cuckolding experience is communicating and respecting boundaries.  If you can respect each other and communicate then I can almost guarantee that you will have an enjoyable cuckolding experience.

 

Follow me on Google+

Follow me on twitter – @JohnnyLavish1

 

7 steps of easing her into swinging or cuckolding


hotwifeHow can I convince her?

The Fantasy

What is attractive about the idea of her being with someone else? Is it being able to share her with someone else and watching her enjoy herself? Maybe it is having too small of penis to properly please her and having someone that is larger do something you are not able to do? Finally it might be the freedom of giving her a variety of lovers that fulfills her in different ways and ultimately improves your relationship with her. Regardless of the reason moving from fantasy to reality is never easy.

Step 1: Begins with you

Before bringing up the idea of cuckolding or having a threesome it is important to think through the idea and consider the consequences and the possible outcomes from the experience. Without thinking about it, discussing the idea will be difficult because you will not understand what you want from the experience.

Think for a moment what type of experience do you want?

Also think about the limits and boundaries you need to feel comfortable. For some just starting out there is a feeling having no boundaries is the best route since it allows for total exploration and I disagree with that approach. Each of us has limits that allows us to feel secure and without some basic boundaries, it opens the possibility of feelings being hurt.

Finally take a close look at your relationship and what a threesome will mean. Think about things such as:

  • Can you cope with seeing her being pleasured by someone else?
  • Can you cope with knowing she has been with someone else?
  • What feelings does envisioning her with someone else elicit?
  • What impact will it have on the relationship?
  • What are the possible outcomes from having a threesome or a cuckold?
  • If you are looking at something long-term, how will the relationship handle the various feelings that may arise?

Step 2: Introducing the idea in the bedroom

Talking about sharing your girlfriend or wife with someone else is never easy and it can elicit strong feelings. Sometimes it is better to start the discussion while it it abstract and done in a non-threatening way. Since you have thought about the idea and hopefully done some research, introducing the idea as a part of foreplay should be easy. Speaking from experience the role play does not have to elaborate. In my opinion, it is best to start slow and maybe ask her about her fantasies. Many women will stay they do not have one and I find this true. If she state she does not have fantasy then share your fantasy with her. Then slowly, in a calculated way, build on to the fantasy. If she begins showing an interest in the fantasy, it is important to remember there is a difference between the fantasy and reality.

Step 3: Securing the relationship

Preparing for a threesome or a cuckold will mean ensuring the relationship is strong enough to withstand the challenges it can bring. This means making a change to the relationship along with how you relate to her. A lot will depend on making her feel secure in the relationship and eliminating potential conflict that an experience such as cuckolding can bring.

Step 4: The Discussion

I found a good YouTube video on the topic and it might be worth watching.

By introducing the fantasy the discussion may happen organically but if it does not then, I believe after allowing the fantasy to develop, as a part of foreplay, being direct  is the best route. Reason, why I believe being direct is the best route. At this point she suspect you may want the fantasy and being subtle about it will only make her suspicious.  The discussion need to occur outside of the bedroom and when there is minimal distraction. It does not need to be long but it needs to be from the ‘heart.’ Also it needs to be done in a way that is reassuring and does not make her feel threatened. Be prepared for her being upset and be prepared that it will be a journey. Finally be prepared to negotiate and compromise.

Step 5: After the discussion

It is important that you are emotionally available to answer any questions that she may have and not to damage the discussion by negatively reacting to any outburst she may have from the discussion. It is important to recognize that this part may take months or even years before it resolves itself. Also it is important no to pressure her and give her ample time to process the information. It is possible you may get close to the threesome or cuckold then find her changing her mind. Allow it to happen and be supportive. Most likely it is a sign she is struggling with it and trying to work through it.

Step 6: Seek out opportunities

By now the fantasy is moving to a possibility. Seeking opportunities involves gauging where your spouse / girlfriend is at with the idea. If the appear hesitant but open to the idea then easing them into it might help Easing them is offering opportunities to do things that might help progress the idea without seeming threatening to them such as:

  • flirting with another man  / woman
  • wearing no panties under her skirt
  • going to a strip club  or lap dancing club together
  • watching threesome or cuckolding porn together
  • attend a swingers club to watch
  • giving a ‘hall pass’ or permission

Step 7: Resolution

At this point it either will happen or not. There is no way to convince someone to have a threesome or cuckold. The best that can be done is provide the opportunity and a supporting environment for it to happen. Then result will depend on our ability to community, negotiate, and to love her for who she is not what she can give to us.

Follow me on Google+

Follow me on twitter – @JohnnyLavish1

7 great free cuckolding web sites


Great web sites for cuckolding information

 

couch updatedBelow are seven cuckolding web sites that provide a variety of information and are a great resource. Please be aware they not in affiliated with this site and this site does not have control over their content. Also be aware by clicking on the below links you will be leaving this site.

 

 

 

 

1) Reddit Cuckolding Community

  • Registration: Reddit requires registration resulting in Reddit limiting the number of time you can post in a given period of time, especially for new members.  However as you post and gain points the restrictions begin to ease.
  • Cost: Free
  • Type of Site: Moderated Forums
  • Emphasis: General cuckolding issues and I believe, it has a centrist perspective.
  • Summary: It can be an invaluable tool for someone just starting out and it can be an invaluable tool for seeking advice if you encounter an issue along your journey. At least from my perspective, the questions are quite varied and I find the replies to be helpful. In my opinion, this is a great resource for anyone interested in learning more about cuckolding or anyone wanting support.

2) Cuckold Stories Blog:

  • Registration: Not required for stories and not required to read the forum.
  • Cost: No cost for the blog section. However the forum site does require payment to post and see link.
  • Type of site: Cuckold story and Forum site with pictures. In my opinion, this site is both a general cuckolding site and a site that also specializes in cuckolding as BDSM, in particular Domination / Submission.
  • Summary: Unlike Reddit’s site Cuckold Blog Stories takes cuckolding further. It takes cuckolding, I believe, into Domination / Submission with a focus on small penis humiliation. Small penis humiliation, on this site, is taken to the extent where the male, in some situations, wears a chastity device and the wife deprive him of sex. In my opinion, this site takes cuckolding further and to the extreme.

3) Love Small Penis:

  • Registration: Not required if you are a WordPress member
  • Cost: None
  • Type of Site: Cuckolding from a personal perspective.
  • Summary: Site is dedicated to the topic of small penis with information and resources on cuckolding.

4) My Other Self:

  • Registration: None
  • Cost: None
  • Type of Site: Research into open relationships and cuckolding
  • Summary: This is a relatively basic site that provides links to research into the topic of open relationships and cuckolding.

5) Cuckolds Forum:

  • Registration: Required if you are replying or posting
  • Cost: None
  • Type of Site: Forum
  • Summary: A comprehensive forum site regarding cuckolding for those who are exploring the idea to those who are quite experience.

6) Cuckold Marriage:

  • Registration: Required if you want to participate
  • Cost: None
  • Type of Site: Combination of forum and information
  • Summary: A comprehensive site that tries to cater to a variety of interests that appears to target married couples.

7) Cuckold Couples:

  • Registration: None
  • Cost: None
  • Type of Site: Information
  • Summary: Site appears old and outdated because of its over-emphasis of using color. It has a very 1990 to early 2000 feel to it. Nonetheless the site is a good source of information for any couple considering the idea of cuckolding.

Follow me

Follow me on Google+

Follow me on twitter – @3somes3

Follow me on tubmblr

 

Lifestyle does it exist? Is it bad choice?


Lifestyle what does it mean?

Lifestyle is a word that describe the way we chose to live our life. It gets applied to everything from threesome, open relationships to where we live or our profession. Very rarely do we really think about its meaning or what it implies. For the rest of this article the focus will be threesome.

Think for a moment, what does threesome lifestyle means? For me, it means a someone who regularly participates in having a threesome. Their participation has gone beyond exploration, it has gone beyond someone who occasionally has a threesome and it has become a part of their identity. For a couple, I believe, lifestyle means they regularly take part in their activity that it has become a part of defining their relationship.

This raises a fundamental question, is having a threesome lifestyle a good thing? On the surface it may seem quite bad since it raises the question, is this the way the couple relates to each other? Also it suggests having a threesome bleeds into other aspects of their relationship and it is the only way a couple defines their relationship. Essentially the term lifestyle as it relates to threesome suggests a couple’s relationship is one-dimensional and for the person, it implies having a threesome lifestyle dominates their life. Thereby suggesting they have some type of anxiety, control, or inability to relate to others issue.

I believe, the bigger question is how does a couple support their relationship? If having a threesome is the only way they can connect then, I believe, it is something bad. However, if it is primary element to their relationship and they have other ways they connect then it not a bad thing. Being able to communicate, being able to connect outside of the threesome, and having a relationship that is bigger than the threesome are central in having a relationship that can survive a threesome.

Therefore, lifestyle means regularly having a threesome but being able to detach from having a threesome to support the relationship. It means to me a rich experience, in which, having a threesome contributes to the overall success and happiness of a couple. Likewise contributes to the person happiness of the person participating in a threesome. Finally having a lifestyle does not bleed into other aspects of your life but helps in defining who your identity. In essence lifestyle is an identity that contributes to your overall happiness and satisfaction.