Heteroflexible a new term for sexual identity or another term for bi-curious?
Recently I came across the term heteroflexible and for those who may not know the term, it means: someone who is heterosexual but has the ability to have a same-sex encounter without developing a relationship with someone of the same-sex. When I read it, it thought this is another way of stating bi-curious or restating someone who is bisexual?
As I thought about the term more, I realized, it was also providing an explanation as to why a heterosexual individual could have a same sex encounter in a threesome and then continue their heterosexual lifestyle. I was beginning to think this term actually had some merit and it was not another term in the cornucopia of terms describing threesomes.
Then I thought bi-curious means someone who show a curiosity in the same-sex and wishes to explore it. The idea of exploration without identifying as bisexual, I believe, is the hallmark of the term bi-curious and I believe, is also the hallmark of the term heteroflexible.
In answer to the question, is heteroflexible another term for bi-curious or is it a new term for sexual identity? I believe, it is another of the infinite terms that describes bi-curious and it does not further contribute to our understanding of sexual identity.
- Heteroflexible (mybodymystory.wordpress.com)
- Once Upon A Fantasy (burncitybabe.wordpress.com)
- Labels, Identity and Sexuality. (unilantern.wordpress.com)
- Are Swingers Freaky and Deviant? (psychologytoday.com)
Imagine for a moment the threesome that the two of you planned is occurring flawlessly. All three of you are hitting it off, flirting is occurring and even some kissing. Now, you move to the bedroom or hotel room where your partner says they cannot go through with it? Maybe they take on a voyeur role leaving you to please the other person. Frustrated you ask yourself, why did this happen?
There are no easy answers to the above question. Having a threesome is something that is fraught with points where the planned threesome can fall apart and this point is usually the point of no return. This is the point where the threesome can be stopped before anything intimate happens. Most likely your partner was confronted with something that made them pull back from wanting a threesome.
The reason for pulling back varies but can include:
- Concerns about being seen as gay or bisexual
- Relationship concerns
- Boundaries not clearly defined or concerns about boundaries
- Conflict regarding personal beliefs / religious views
- Fear of STDs / STis / pregnancy
- Attraction to the third person does not exist
- Medical / psychological issues (e.g. Performance Anxiety or body image issues)
- Feeling pressure or coerced into having a threesome
- Emotional feelings such as jealousy or anger
- Environmental issues
- Vision of threesome being different
- Being confronted with the decision to have a threesome
- Age of the relationship
- Life Changing events
Until the two of you talk there is no way of knowing the reason for it. Most likely if the issue can be addressed and resolved then it is probable that giving it another try is reasonable. If you do give it another try then making changes to how you previously have approached having a threesome, the person selected, and may be try making it as stress free as possible.