The Power of Three(somes)


When considering the idea of having a threesome we want an ironclad guarantee that it will be successful, enjoyable, and our relationship will remain intact. Many of us look at a threesome like buying a new car with a try before you buy or money back guarantee. Some may look at having a threesome like calling a psychic hotline, seeing the future and knowing the outcome. Without some type of guarantee or without knowing the results of the threesome it makes many of reluctant to try it.

Dancetinyfox offers something worth considering and something I have been recently discussing too, liberation. The idea of having a threesome because it offers an opportunity to experience a unique form of happiness. The opportunity to selflessly share your spouse with someone else then bask in the happiness that it may bring through a loving and supporting relationship.

This article, for some, can offer a route to relationship happiness and fulfillment.

 

The Power of Three(somes).

via The Power of Three(somes).

I Used To Be A Unicorn


Another great article from theshitshowthatismylife. She candidly speaks about unicorns, the difficulty finding one for a threesome, and how finding a bisexual woman does not necessary mean she is interested in a heterosexual couple. This is a great article for any couple searching for a second woman for their threesome.

I Used To Be A Unicorn.

via I Used To Be A Unicorn.

Non-monogamy is stigmatised


Another great article by EroticZeitgeist regarding non-monogamy and the societal prejudices that are held about the growing lifestyle. I believe, this article sheds some light onto issues faced by those who choose a non-monogamous lifestyle and it is an excellent article for someone wanting more information. In my opinion, this is an article well worth reading.

EroticZeitgeist

The non-monogamous relationship is becoming still more popular. But we have a lot of prejudice towards people in non-monogamous relationship and very little knowledge. People in monogamous relationships often find it very difficult to understand non-monogamy and even when non-monogamous people are explicitly happy they are still regarded as someone who live a sexually riskier life, they are less accept-able, they are expected to have lower relationship quality, they are expected to be less sexually satisfied, and they are seen as lonelier than people in monogamous relationship. This is all wrong and based on prejudice.

tIt is interesting though that when asked about men in non-monogamous relationships separately then they are regarded as more sexually happy than monogamous men and happier than women in either type of relationships. This indicates that people find that men are happier with multiple sexual partners but they don’t believe that this is the case…

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Working through the tough times


IMG_8130Is it better to work through the issue or end the relationship?

This time of year makes me reflective and think about the past. When I was younger, my view was very much ‘black & white,’ but through the years my views have become ‘it depends,’ or waiting to see the outcome. Even if I wait to see the outcome, it means I have to be patient and the result may not be clear since it is evolving. Lately, I started asking myself how does apply to relationships and threesomes?

To begin with, good and bad are not absolutes. Instead they are perceptual definitions that are defined by experiences and the context of the situation. A situation we initially perceive as bad may in a matter of weeks or months be seen as good. Likewise, a situation that we feel is bad but give it a bit more time may turn out to be good.

I believe how we perceive a situation influences how we relate to others, how we respond to them, and how we try to manage the ‘stress’ in our lives. For those who have had a bad threesome experience may find in a few months or years that they no longer see it as such. Instead they may view it as either indifferent to it (e.g. something they can tick off their sexual bucket list but will never do again) or maybe it is something they may want to pursue. This means, we should not have a ‘knee-jerk’ reaction to a situation whereby we try to minimize the anxiety, ‘stress’ from it but try to work through each situation in order to find a solution.

Also, I believe how we perceive a situation depends on how much responsibility we are willing to accept. In my opinion, we see a situation as bad when we are not willing to accept responsibility for the situation and we try to assign blame to someone else. By doing this it leads to ‘stress’ and conflict which only makes things worse. I believe, by accepting responsibility for our choices then many of the bad situations are perceived as not being as bad.

Therefore, we have a lot of control over how we react, relate to others, and how we view the world. By understanding this, taking responsibility for our actions, and how we chose to perceive things influences our relationship. My advice, is to look for solutions and work through the issue instead of finding the quickest way to lower the anxiety that a situation creates. If we are able to do this then, I believe, we will take more pleasure from the things around us and be more open to the opportunities.

Threesome variations by country


Threesome trends

 

Location of the United Arab Emirates

 

I am on who finds metrics, statistics of measurement, fascinating. One of the more fascinating trends I notice the vast majority of my readers come from the US with the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, and India making up the top five. The next five includes Italy, Netherlands / Holland, Germany, and South Africa. Last interesting group my top 20 countries for readers includes United Arab Emirates and Saudi Arabia.

 

Currently I live in the UK and in the past I have lived in the US. Based on my experience, I can understand the US interest. However I am baffled by the UK and India. Granted swingers clubs exist in the UK but I find threesome / swinging is not as popular. Instead I find long-term marriage or committed relationships are not as emphasized in the UK. In addition, I notice, there is a bit more interest in BDSM, dogging, and infidelity tends to be more prevalent. This leads me to question if many of my UK readers are US expats living in the UK. Since US expats, I believe, is the fifth largest immigrant group in the UK.

 

This brings me to readers in India and this totally “blows my mind.” I know many Indians in the UK and from a cultural perspective, none of them strike me as being remotely interested in the idea of pursuing a threesome.  At least for me, I have to question if in India the idea of threesome is equated with infidelity or if it is popular in an area of India?

 

The question I want to ask, does anyone:

 

  1. Why do you feel there are many readers from the US?
  2. Does anyone have an insight or experience with the threesome / group sex scene in the UK that might be able to shed some light on this? Is it primarily US expats or is there a genuine British interest in threesomes?
  3. Does anyone have any insight into India and why there is an interest in threesomes?
  4. Why is the topic of threesomes interest Saudis and U.A.E. U.A.E., at least my impression they are a bit more open to Western influence and do not try to restrict it as much as the Saudis. This could explain some of it but I am interested in reading what others think.

 

 

 

 

 

What makes a couple successful


Bee seeks flower for intimate relationship

 

What is necessary for a successful relationship and successful threesome?

 

One of the core ingredients, I believe, is necessary for a successful threesome is a solid relationship and this is a common thread throughout this site. Defining a solid relationship is not as easy since a lot depends on religious background, cultural, political background, and socio-economic status. This makes providing a unifying definition difficult and makes the definition dependent on couple that is asking.

 

Recently a Psychology Today article made an attempt in defining the term and I believe, it positively contributes to my ongoing discussion of what makes a relationship stable enough for a threesome. With that said, there are a three minor points that I do not agree.

 

Same Bedtime

 

The first one is going to bed at the same time. Whilst I understand the point being made, I feel it neglects other issues such as health problems or work schedule that may impact bedtimes. In my opinion, this is a minor ingredient for a successful relationship and not a major ingredient.

 

Common Interests

 

Second is sharing common interests. Without developing common interests a relationship, I believe, is destined to fail. However the article neglects to mention how much of a common interest a couple should share, what definition of common interest the author is using, and to what emotional level that interest should be shared. Without more discussion from the author I believe this interest is pointless.

 

10 points too superficial

 

Finally I believe, the 10 points raised are very closely related and do not dwell deep enough for the article to be meaningful. Nonetheless point four regarding forgiveness and point five focusing on what your partner does right, highlight the author is heading on the right direction for this article. I believe if the author was focusing on deeper points about relationships then this article would be much more meaningful.

 

Finally

 

I believe this article is a good guide on some of the more superficial aspects that a relationship needs to be successful and it provides limited insight into what a couple should be doing if they are considering a threesome.