Building trust for a threesome


Discussing the idea of having a threesome went well, boundaries were agreed, and the decision was made to invite a third person. Now a rush of questions starts flooding your mind. How can we trust someone? How can I trust my partner to stick to our boundaries?  How can I be sure it is going to work out? All of these questions have one thing in common, the need to build trust.

Before talking about building trust for a threesome it is important to define trust. Trust is an allusive term that is difficult to define and relies more on intuition than objective observation. Therefore, trust is about confidence and placing confidence in someone based on their character. This implies an element of trust is dependent of the perception of the person and the confidence the individual has in that person.  For a threesome it means being able to have the confidence in someone that what they are saying is true and they will adhere to their statements.

This leads to the question, how do you build trust for a threesome? For a couple it means there is enough history that each other has confidence in the other to do what they promise. If the couple has been together for a little while it may mean they need to approach having a threesome at a slow pace since it may require them to build trust as they get closer to the threesome. In contrast, for a couple that has been together for a while, it may mean trust is not an issue for them since they have a history together. However, if the couple is going through a difficult period where the issue of trust is involved then it a threesome will not help them rebuild their trust and instead it is more likely to erode any trust that exists.

Now, the question becomes how does the couple trust the third person and the third person trust the couple? The starting point is the type of threesome being planned. If the threesome is a soft-swinging or full threesome then trust is more about the character and trustworthiness of the individual then building actual trust.  A soft-swinging or full threesome is about physical enjoyment and preventing feelings for the third person from developing. In order for this objective to be achieved, the couple needs to avoid building a relationship with the third person and this means, the contact with the third person needs to be limited. Typically, there is very little time for discussion and a decision to have / not to have the threesome is fairly quick. Other types of threesomes the length of time to build trust varies due to the length and nature of the threesome.  In answer to the above question, building trust is a function of the type of threesome being planned and the amount of communication that is needed for it to occur.

In conclusion building trust is the cornerstone of having a successful threesome and the amount of time needed is dependent on the type of threesome being sought. The starting point for trust lies with the couple and their ability to trust each other. Once they have enough trust built for a threesome then the next step for them trusts the invited third person.  If the objective of the threesome is physical enjoyment then the time needed to build trust is short and is only necessary to the extent that enough trust is built to allow the threesome to happen. Whereas other types of threesomes such as poly or cuckolding will require more trust due to the nature of the threesome being needed. Finally trust is allusive and it is built on perceptions. Without trust no threesome can occur.

5 thoughts on “Building trust for a threesome

  1. Pingback: How do I ease her into swinging or cuckolding? | Threesomes and variations

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