I came across this survey, see below link, a few weeks ago and placed it on my forum site. After having some more time available I thought I would place it here from my followers to read and comment. The survey examines those interested in cuckolding but who have not had the experience. At least for me, I found it informative and supporting other surveys that I have read. At least for me, I believe it is worth the time reading. Hopefully you will take the time to read it and share what you think.
Imagine for a moment a relationship where each of you can have your fantasy fulfilled. Further imagine a relationship where you can change the momentum of the relationship for a period of time to fulfill each others fantasy. Next imagine a relationship where trust is the central characteristic. Finally imagine a relationship that requires each of you agreeing to continue an aspect of the relationship. Does this sound like an unattainable relationship or an ideal relationship? Actually this is a description of a cuckolding relationship.
Cuckolding can offer a couple an unique opportunity to fulfill each others fantasy while building trust in the relationship. For someone that is new to the idea of cuckolding maybe asking how does trust fit into cuckolding since it involves a third person in the relationship? Trust stems from keeping the boundaries and the communication that occurs. In order for cuckolding to work trust must exist and it must be able to grow over time, otherwise the relationship will cease to exist.
This brings up the next question, if the woman is sleeping with another man how is each person’s fantasy being fulfilled? For the man in the relationship normally he has a fantasy of his wife being with another man. It may seem counter-intuitive that such a fantasy can be arousing but for some, it can be very powerful, especially if he views his penis size is hampering her enjoyment of sex. Her fantasy can vary a bit. It can stem from having power in the relationship and control over her husband. Alternatively it can be having two concurrent lovers or it can be the experience of being with someone else.
So how does a cuckolding relationship change? One of the biggest issues is dealing with the issue of jealousy. Jealousy can be problematic especially in the beginning but with more experience the issue should resolve itself; however, if it does not then the cuckolding aspect should end. Another change is communication. Clear concise information needs to be communicated. Any ambiguity can lead to misunderstanding and conflict. Third change is a shift in power in the relationship. This change is arguable since the argument can be made for the man or the woman holding the power. In my opinion, the shift of power is to the woman since she is the one who decides who she has sex with, how often, and when. Final change is trust. Trust is very fragile and if not treated correctly it can be destroyed. By communicating and changing the power structure in the relationship trust changes. If the change in trust can be harnessed for changing the relationship for the better then it can have very positive impact on the relationship.
Would I recommend a cuckolding relationship to everyone? No, I would not since each relationship is different with different needs. However, I would recommend a couple consider evaluate the idea if they have been together for a period of time and have had at least one threesome / foursome experience. At least by having some type of group sex experience the couple can begin to understand the challenges they can expect to face and how their relationship might change. Therefore, cuckolding should not be discouraged but understood. By understanding cuckolding it can provide a couple with more options for their relationship and for some it can help them enhance their relationship.
Imagine you are a couple that is dating for a few months and things start moving from casual dating to a serious relationship. Now imagine you desire to show your ‘better half’ that you are ‘open-minded’ and not jealous. Likewise consider you are a couple that has been together for more than 10 years and you want to show your partner that you can be open to a new experience. In each situation let us assume one way of showing a willingness to try something new or not being jealous is by having a threesome. Also let us assume in each situation the fantasy of having a threesome is being discussed. This raises the question is better keeping the fantasy as a wish or is better bringing the fantasy into reality?
From my experience, having a threesome is sometimes seen as challenge. The challenge is not going through with a threesome after losing a bet. Instead the challenge is twofold. At one-level the challenge is showing your partner / spouse that by having a threesome you have some how transformed yourself and a willingness of being open to new chapter in the relationship. Likewise the challenge becomes a gift that is given proving jealousy does not exist, even though jealousy may be an issue. Second challenge maintaining the openness that results from having a threesome and remaining true to the reason for having it.
This means the relationship will be transformed into something different. Since a threesome may happen and at least one person in the relationship is attempting changing the directional momentum relationship. Such a change, means either individual in the relationship may not be prepared for the change that may happen and even if each of them are ready for the change, will it be a change that is welcomed?
In my opinion, the answer lies in the power of the fantasy for the couple. Power of a fantasy lies in its ability to unite the couple by being able to share a fantasy that brings them pleasure and brings them close. It is something that binds a couple and brings them close. Also, bringing a fantasy into reality means taking a risk and the result may not be the result either one was expecting. A result of bringing the fantasy to life may an erotic experience shared by each of them or it could be an experience that adversely impacts their relationship. Once a fantasy is made real it can mean it will no longer be a shared fantasy for the couple, it will lose some of its mystique, or the fantasy will change to reflect the reality of the threesome that occurred. The question that the couple must ask themselves are they prepared to lose the fantasy in order to make it real?
Another aspect in deciding if it is a good idea in making a fantasy real is each individual skill at communicating. Communicating is key, I believe, in having a successful threesome. If either struggles with being clear and concise about their needs then it is likely a threesome may not work.
In answer to the question is it better to leave a threesome fantasy just a fantasy? I believe, a lot depends on the couple, the power of the fantasy for them, and how they are at communicating their needs. Both need to be ready for any change to the relationship and be prepared for any adverse influence from the threesome experience. If a couple is prepared and agreeing to try the idea then there should be no reason why it needs to remain a fantasy.