Imagine your partner and you meet a potential third person. Your partner really seem to “hit it off” with them and your partner like this makes you feel happy. However, at the same time your attraction to the third person is like your attraction to a cold dead fish.
Now, imagine your partner wanting to have a threesome and you having ambivalent feelings about the threesome.
What do you do? Do you agree to go ahead with the threesome in order to please your partner? Alternatively do you say no, in order to preserve some self-worth and to protect your sense well-being?
“Taking one for the team,” agreeing to have a threesome in order to please your partner, is never an easy decision. It can create allot of mixed feelings and confusion. It can also lead to resentment afterward. Much of the decision comes down to balancing your needs against the needs of your partner and the relationship. Normally the rule of thumb is if you do not feel an attraction towards the third person then the threesome should not go forward. In order for a threesome to work, this author believes, all three must have some attraction for each other. Without having an attraction then sex becomes mechanical and lacks enjoyment. However, being in relationship it is not always easy and sometimes giving priority to your partner’s needs becomes a forefront concern. This means sometimes sacrifices are made in order to make our partner happy. In those cases the question becomes, can you accept the decision to go forward with the threesome without remorse and accept responsibility for your decision? If you can then it may be worth considering having the threesome. Otherwise then having a threesome may not be the best idea.
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- Fantasy versus Reality of Having a threesome: Chapter 4 Resolving the Dilemma of Privacy versus Having a Threesome (3somes.wordpress.com)
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