First Time cuckolding: The once in a lifetime roller coaster ride that is worth taking


galleryFirst Time? No Ticket Required

I remember riding a roller coaster as a kid. The fear of heights along with the fear of falling out that always made me nervous of riding a roller coaster. Then as the roller coaster climbed to the top rushing down, emotional rush as it speeds down the hill.

Cuckolding in some ways is like being on a roller coaster. Once she agrees to try cuckolding and a lot of images miraculously enter your mind. Not everyone cuckolds and a feeling of privilege begins overtaking your body like a tidal wave. The feeling, is like winning the lottery or receiving membership in an exclusive club. It is something very unique. Soon questions, fears, anxiety, and a flurry of other emotions begins to grip your mind. A feeling of being overwhelmed hits and questions such as, is this normal enter your mind?

What is it like during the time from ‘yes’ to the actual experience and then afterwards? What can I do to help me through the time? Agreeing to be cuckold can be a rich and rewarding experience. However until you have the experience, know what to expect, and know the outcome then the experience is best describe as an emotional roller coaster.

The Journey

1) Emotional Roller coaster

After agreeing to have a cuckold, it is common for emotions fluctuate very quickly and to fluctuate for varying lengths of time. In the beginning it is common to feel elation and maybe some fear. During this time fear is quickly ignored because of the surge of feeling immense joy over the upcoming event.

Then as the day gets closer extremes feelings happen. Suddenly you feel excitement and then fear.  The fear grips your mind and then every thing that can go wrong appears in your mind, like a bad dream. Panic can happen and doubts if this is the right choice happens. Right before succumbing to the fear, reality comes to rescue by removing the fear.

Now the day arrives and she leaves for her date. At first a quiet calm happens, feeling like a member of an exclusive club and feeling privilege leads to a feeling of euphoria. As the feeling of euphoria beings to wane, fear begins chirping like a child wanting to know how much longer. The feeling of euphoria stifles the sound of fear but as the feeling of euphoria diminishes like a mother who cannot keep saying no. Soon fear takes over. Is she safe? Is she enjoying herself? What will she be like when she gets home? Is our relationship over? Why did I agree to this when I could have said no? starting playing like a tape recording.

The cycle of feeling euphoria and fear continues. Watching television or playing a game of solitaire is not an option since the emotional roller coaster is creating too much anxiety. Only a distraction can work.

2) Need for distraction

The need for a distraction is fairly obvious by providing an emotional balance during this time that will not cause harm later. A distraction can be as simple as housework, gardening, or going to a movie. It can involve a friend or a group. However, not everyone wants to know about cuckolding or someone’s sexual adventure therefore it becomes necessary being selective discussing the reason for distraction.

3) Desire to push the limits

During the time of joy, euphoria, or excitement feeling like nothing can bad can happen does occur. It leads to a feeling of invincibility and the willingness the change boundaries because nothing bad can happen. This feeling comes about from being a part of a privilege and for the most part, a secret club. However, we tend to forget superman had his Krypton and every club has it rules.

4) Relationship Changes

Through the emotional highs and emotional lows something is quietly happening in the background, change. That is right change to the relationship is occurring. Nothing is frozen forever in time and we are not able to go back in time to fix or prevent something from going wrong.

In a few days, weeks, or months, she is going to have sex with someone outside of the relationship. This will mean the relationship, for better or worse, will change. Change will occur in threesome stages.

First stage is the immediate stage. This is the time from right after she returns for the first few weeks. It is the time when the relationship copes with the cuckolding experience and redefines itself. During this period there is a lot of change occurring.

Second stage is the latency stage. After the resolution of the first stage there is a period of relative quiet where very little occurs. This can last for a few days, weeks, or months.

Final stage is the new normal. Through all of the discussions that have occurred, perception of the experience, and attitudes towards each other will redefine this stage. This is the point where the relationship finally works resolves the issues and defines how the couple will relate to each other.

5) Empowerment

During relationship changes and the fluctuations of emotions that are occurring there is something very quietly working in the background, empowerment. Cuckolding can be a very empowering experience for a couple. For him it is about expressing his desire in an open way and having his desire met. This means he is able to openly communicate his tawdry desire and have it met without fear of retribution. Depending on the form the couple’s cuckolding takes, it can be a way for him to give control to his wife and unburden some of the pressure he feels.

For her is a lot deeper. By cuckolding she is able to confirm her sexual desirability to someone else without fear of loosing the relationship. This can be a very powerful experience because it can show her she is more than a wife, a mother, and she is a sexual person.

Finally for the couple, cuckolding provides a route for improving the communication and a way to get their needs met.

Journey Aftermath

6) Knowing the Details

Trying cuckolding means only one person has sex with someone outside of the relationship that is done with the knowledge and consent of the other person in the relationship. This can be prove a very powerful aphrodisiac for a couple because one of them has an experience the other does not and by sharing the details of the experience it can be something that binds them as a couple.

This raises the question, how do you share the details? From my experience, the best way is to tell it like a story and tell it as a part of foreplay. Focus on the feelings, scents, mood, and anything else that can draw your partner into the story. Use a tone a voice that is  suggestive and inviting. Do not rush it and do not have him just laying listening to the story. Instead have him experience the story by becoming a part of it. Have him do the some of things you were experiencing and encourage him. If he asks any questions be hones but positive.

7) Sloppy seconds

One of the succulent rewards of cuckolding is experiencing sloppy seconds. Feeling her stretched from another cock being deep inside of her along with her red swollen lips and if no condom was used, the warm sticky feeling of her lover’s cum. Also there is usually a subtle smell of must.

Sloppy seconds is a result of an experience each individual openly embraced and something that should be enjoyed instead of being shunned.

For her it is a sign of her desirability to another and for him it is a sign of his fantasy being fulfilled. Ideally they should take time together before falling asleep to share and enjoy the experience together.

8) Best Sex of your life

The smell of sex along with details of the experience and experiencing sloppy seconds can lead to an incredible sexual experience. Especially if it is done shortly after she comes home. From my experience, nothing can compare to it.

9) Improved Communication

After the experience and as the relationship finds its ‘new normal.’ One of the possible benefits is seeing improved communication. Especially feeling less afraid to discuss ideas and an open willingness to share ideas that can lead to an increase in trust.

10) Trust Issues

After the euphoria, from hearing the details and enjoying sloppy seconds, reality begins to enter. Questions such as, what happened? How could I have agreed to this? Why did I agree to this? can occur. This happens because the emotional roller coaster is ending, relationship changes are occurring, and facing the reality of what is happening can create issues of trust. This is normal and happens as the relationship undergoes changes that brings up trust issues. It is important to see the experience as a journey not an isolate series of events and to discuss the issue, in a calm and non-judgmental, manner.

In contrast it is very possible cuckolding can be a very positive experience that confirms trust in the relationship and allows the relationship to grow further.

Finally

Cuckolding is not right for every couple. For those that it suitable then cuckolding can be a great experience for any couple who is willing to undertake the risk, who is willing to communicate, and trust each other. It can bring them together, provide powerful visual images for foreplay that will last for many years, and it can improve their communication. It is one roller coaster ride, for the right couple, that is worth taking.

Related Articles

Cuckolding Guide: Enjoying Sloppy Seconds

Power of Sloppy Seconds

Her first date: A cuckolding guide for her

Her first date: A cuckolding guide for him

After Yes Now What: A cuckolding beginners guide

10 things you should know about cuckolding but were afraid to ask

Cuckolding for Couples: Making cuckolding a partnership

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Threesome Foursome: Adding Spice to an erotic experience by trying an unique position


Introduction

Planning a threesome? Wondering what position to use? Maybe split roast, double penetration, and watching while to the invited male fucks your wife while you watch is becoming blase. Regardless below there is an opportunity to add some creativity and excitement to your threesome by trying new positions. The plethora of positions listed below are a collection of threesome positions for both mfm and fmf along with a few foursome positions.

Cosmo Twitter After Dark

Cosmo Twitter After Dark regarding realistic threesome positions. It is a good article. However the cartoon like drawings and the descriptions are light-hearted; however the light-heartedness, I feel, detracts from the purpose. Nonetheless, I believe, this is a great piece that is worth the time to review.

AskMen – UK

Cosmo does a great job with article on threesome positions. In contrast AskMen – UK is more pragmatic. Instead of 15 positions it focuses on 7 positions using real-life models along with discussing the benefits of each position.

DatingAdvice.com

The list on this site adds to the depth of positions available. The only drawback, unlike the other sites listed here, this site provides descriptions without video or photos; instead this site relies on descriptions.

SexualPositionsFree.com

This site takes an unique approach to the topic of threesome positions by using wooden figures in various positions.

YouTube – Living La Vita Loca (fmf / mff threesome)

For YouTube videos this is very well done and it focuses on threesome position for a two woman threesome

Finally

Regardless if you opt for a familiar position such as split roast or something more adventurous, the one thing that is clear having a threesome  can greatly enhance for any couple.

Other Articles of Interest:

10 Questions about Threesomes you were afraid to ask

Easing into a threesome

Threesome planning

Suggesting a threesome, what does it mean?

How to suggest a threesome

Threesome Terminology

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How to persuade them have a threesome: Secret #1- nice to have versus must have


Searching for the answerIntroduction

Many of us have an interest in trying a threesome for a variety of reasons. It might be desiring to throw away the shackles that society places on us about monogamy. For others it might be wanting to explore the limits of their relationship or to give their partner with something, that a monogamous relationship cannot bring them. In some cases having a threesome might be on their ‘bucket list’ of things to do. Whatever the reason the first step is agreeing to have a threesome.

How do you convince your partner to have a threesome?

A very common question that gets asked, “how do I convince him / her to have a threesome?” The simple answer if they are not interested then do not waste your time trying to convince them. Short of a complete refusal there are a few points to consider and in the coming weeks, I will be writing about some of the secrets of trying to move the conversation about having a threesome to a point where it is agreeable.

Nice to have versus Must Have

Must Have

As humans beings we all have needs to feel secure and having a threesome is no different. At the most basic level, for any us to feel secure in a threesome we must have our basic needs met and this is sometimes called a ‘must have.’ A must have, from a threesome perspective, are tangible and  integrable items we need to have a threesome. This might be:

  • Having the threesome as a one-off
  • Avoiding some intimate contact with the third person (e.g. kissing)
  • Being present
  • Seeing communication
  • Safe-sex practices

Nice to Have

‘Must have’ forms a part of the boundary for the couple and the threesome to allow the threesome to happen. Whereas a ‘nice to have’ is something that can make the threesome enjoyable but it is not necessary for it to happen. An example might be:

  • Kissing
  • Bareback
  • Same-sex contact

Moving the conversation forward

The first step in moving toward a threesome involve reaching an agreement about the boundary of the threesome. In order to reach the first agreement understanding your partner’s need is vital. Only by negotiating  the nice to have, discussing your vision of the threesome and then finding a common area whereby each of you can agree. In order to do this, it will mean being open to different possibilities.

Secret #1 – How does having ‘must have’ and ‘nice to have’ help in having a threesome?

Having a threesome mean being open-minded about possibilities and keeping your ‘must haves’ in order to feel secure in the threesome. By understanding why the ‘must haves’ are necessary will help ease further conversations about needs from a threesome. Then at some point the conversation will change to ‘nice to have’ in the threesome and this becomes the area for negotiating to reach the threesome. Only by communicating and understanding needs will a couple be able to move toward having their first threesome.

Other Articles of Interest

Universal Boundaries

Boundaries

Unless you ask, how do I know you want a threesome?

Moving beyond the initial discussion

How to persuade them to have a threesome: Secret #4 – marathon not sprint

How to persuade them to have a threesome: Secret #3: being confident

How to persuade them to have a threesome: Secret #2: separating emotional sex from physical sex

How to persuade them to have a threesome: Secret #1: nice to have versus must have

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A single male’s guide: how to attract a couple without offending them


ready for cuckoldingIntroduction

In previous articles such as ‘Asking a Couple for a Threesome,’ and ‘FAQs for Single Men Desiring a Threesome,‘ the thrust of the article was avoiding common mistakes that single men tend to make when approaching a couple for a threesome. This article will take earlier information further by discussing, an approach that I call couple-centric can help increase your chance of success by following seven pieces of advice and help you stand-out from the other 100 single men that are contacting the couple.

1) Accept you are not unique

Accepting this goes a long way in attracting a couple. Many times single men believe:

  • A couple is searching for a threesome because there is an issue in ‘the bedroom’ and somehow the male cannot satisfy her.
  • A couple is searching for a single male with a specific attribute  (e.g. age, muscular body, large penis)
  • A couple does not get many replies because the practice of having a threesome is taboo
  • They are the only male the couple is communicating with about having a threesome

Reality is, you are not so unique that a couple can find another male to meet their needs. The challenge for you is not rest on your laurels and work with a couple.

2) Be Socialble

Being sociable is crucial for a single male. Too often a single male focus on the goal, the threesome, and forget the journey they need to get to that point. Having a threesome is a journey that goes a complex social dance that lasts as long as necessary and each point being social.

In a mfm situation it is the couple that is in charge. This means it is important to get everyone feeling comfortable and it means being able to make ‘small talk.’ Being able to make ‘small talk’ and being able to hold a conversation while focusing your attention on both will be vital in the early stage. Ignoring the male in the relationship, rushing the ‘social pleasantries’ like ‘small talk,’ or not being able to hold a conversation are potential ‘death nail’ with the couple.

3) Think like a couple

Too often a single male will view having a mfm threesome as a way to have NSA (no strings attached) sex with the extra baggage of the boyfriend or husband being present. For the couple she has already made her choice and she has chosen her partner. A single male in their threesome is nothing more than a tool for their sexual enjoyment. For them choosing a single male is who is the best fit their needs at the moment.

For a single male it means putting aside their need and understand the couple, such as:

  • What type of single male do they want for their threesome?
  • What has brought this couple to consider the idea of having a threesome?
  • How does the single male fit into their plans?
  • Are there any underlying relationship issues that could impact the threesome?
  • How do they communicate?
  • What is their style of communication? How can you adapt your communication style to fit their?

4) Understand the couple

I almost included this section with number 3 but felt it was better to keep each point simple. Also I felt it is important to highlight a couple begins their search for a single male at different points in the threesome process

Understanding the couple involve putting yourself in their place. A couple will look for a third person for a threesome when there has been some agreement to at least look. Some couples will be:

  • Looking to see what type of male is available in their area before deciding to have a threesome
  • ‘Testing the water’ to see if, as a couple, they can go through with the idea
  • Wanting to make a few connections with different single men before deciding

Whereas some couples might:

  • Already committed to the idea of having a threesome and are looking for the ‘best fit.’
  • Looking for a single male that can fulfill a specific fantasy
  • In some cases they might be looking for a bisexual male

It is important when speaking with a couple about a potential threesome that latitude is given to them by accepting not every couple searches for a single male at exactly the same point. Some may begin the search to only decide that it needs to happen slower or they may make the contact before coming back. Whatever the situation, I believe, a good single male will listen and support the couple by understanding their journey.

5) Understand the single male role in a mfm, mmf threesome

Previously stated, a couple has many choices for a two male threesome and being sociable can go along ways in attracting a couple. The second part of that equation is an understanding in most two male threesomes the single male role is to enhance the pleasure of the woman. This does not mean he needs to have unique sexual abilities that the other men has and it does not mean he needs to have a larger penis than the other male.

Instead it means, he is there as a someone to help the couple expand their enjoyment and he is also there to work closely with the other male in multiplying her pleasure. This implies the single male needs to be adept in social situations, a good communicator, and someone who is able to work well with others.

Next, it is not uncommon for a couple to choose a single male that has more threesome experience than themselves. Sometimes a couple makes this choice because they want someone to guide them into having a threesome and in this type of situation the single male need to be patient with them. However if they are not comfortable with the need then they should tell the couple.

6) View any discussion as a chance ‘to meet the friend you knew existed but never met.’

This simply means approach any potential threesome conversation as a chance to make a friend and not a threesome. Reason for saying this. not every contact will lead to a threesome. It is better to have a positive attitude and a good perspective than being hostile because a couple did not choose you.

7) Accept Rejection

This goes very closely with number 5 because rejection will happen. A successful single male will accept not every couple will choose them and they are comfortable with this reality. Because they are positive about the experience that is something a couple will notice and having a positive attitude can be a powerful mechanism for making yourself stand-out among the hundred other men that are contacting the couple.

Conclusion

The above seven steps are meant to give more insight to a single when speaking with a couple about having a threesome. Arguably for a couple it sheds some light onto the characteristics of a good single male. Furthermore this article is meant to give a usable approach that will not work in every situation but will help increase the chance for success.  If you forget everything in this article except one thing then the one thing should be, every couple is unique with their own requirements. Do not push the couple into a decision but enjoy the time you have communicating with them and even if nothing transpires then it is possible they may become a friend and who knows where that friendship might go.

 

Related Articles

Part 1: Writing an Ad

Part 2: FAQs for Single Men Desiring a MFM Threesome

Part 3: Perils of Using a Friend or Co-Worker for a Threesome

Part 4: Asking a Couple for a Threesome

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How to convince her to have a threesome


IMG_6827During foreplay she talks about wanting another cock insider and how great it would be if she could feel something different. Throughout subsequent “love-making” the fantasy becomes more realistic causing her to climax in ways previously unseen. The images from earlier “love-making” sessions replay leaving the question, “if she gets that horny and climaxes that hard when just talking about the idea then making it happen will be even better.”

Over a period of weeks internet sites are visited looking for the right connection for her and make the threesome a reality. Replies start arriving with some that are totally unacceptable raising the question, “how could someone not appreciate a glorious opportunity that is being presented.” Other replies strike fear that she might prefer him and slowly the ideal situation begins sliding away.

As the ideal situation begins collapsing like a ‘house of cards,’ because there is a realization of her reaction may not be positive. Since nothing has been discussed with her. Instead of discussing the idea, the discussion is replaced with a magical belief that she will accept idea, if the threesome is planned right and by using magical powers of persuasion, similar to the persuasion used on television juries in old crime dramas, she will agree to have a threesome.

So how do you convince her to have a threesome? Simple answer you cannot. Why? We are all human beings with the ability of free will and the ability to make choices for ourselves. Deciding to participate in a threesome involves going against teachings regarding monogamy, relationships, and personal beliefs. It means redefining our view of relationships and the person we love.

In my situation before we had our threesomes we agreed it was a mutual decision and neither of us could use the decision against the other. Also we stated that we would view each other in the best possible light instead of considering the negative about each other. Having these agreements with my wife made it easier for the big transformation that was about to occur. It is difficult to put into words the transformation that occurs, when having a threesome,

Another barrier in convincing her involves understanding the difference between the fantasy of having a threesome and the reality of having a threesome. When we role play the idea we have complete control but in a real threesome, lies with two other individuals who may have different agendas and different objectives. When you peel back all of the layers of a threesome, the core is trust. Having a threesome means accepting the outcome is not in your control and trusting the other participants enough that it will be a positive experience for everyone. For me, this was the scariest because I trusted my wife but I did not know what the outcome.

Final barrier in convincing her revolves around the idea of communication. Communication means talking about your wishes, desires, and fears with your spouse. It means feeling comfortable enough with each other that any subject can be discussed. This means by communicating the need to plan a surprise threesome decrease and the need to convince her decreases too. It means there is no secret formula and no secret technique to convince her to have a threesome.

In conclusion and in answer to the question, as I look back to our relationship over the years, the one thing I have learned communication and the ability to work together solves the issues. For those who are looking for an accelerated route to a threesome unfortunately there are no easy fixes or shortcuts. Communicating, understanding what a threesome involves, and a commitment to each other is the only true way to a threesome. My advice love her for who she is and not what she can give. If you can do that then whatever route is taken will be the right one.

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Taking care of her love button


Another great article by Jane’s Illustrated Erotic Sex Blog. I am ‘Pressing’ this article because it is an insightful article that gives a good description on technique. Whilst we all know how to use the “button,” as Jane calls it, she takes it a bit further by suggesting how to maximize its beneficial pleasure.

I hope you take a few moment to read this great article.

Taking care of her love button.

via Taking care of her love button.

10 Word Press articles you may have missed during the week of 26 May 2014


IMG_8082Intro

A bountiful selection of good blogs this week and it made choosing 10 to include very difficult.

I believe you will enjoy all of them.

Highlights

Why I Love Big Pussy Sex is an interesting article that examines the idea of a ‘stretched’ vagina and experiencing it from a ‘male’ perspective. The reason why I find it interesting because it is an attempt to capture both the physical and emotional experience from a ‘male’ perspective that has a small penis.

Negotiations and Finding Your Core Values examines the idea of boundaries, how they evolve, and subtly the author talks about some of the boundaries they have used. It is an excellent article for anyone wanting to understand the need for boundaries or is looking for a fresh idea of how to introduce boundaries without killing the ‘experience.’

Be Careful for What you Wish for is a blog that I debated about adding since the author appears to have flooded the ‘cuckold’ tag section with a lot of their writing. While I am not opposed to writing a lot. What I have to question is the need to post 14+ blogs in a one week period instead of spacing them out over a few weeks. In this situation, I feel the author’s message is weakened and missed because of too many posts. From my perspective I do not want to read of them because of the volume and I have to question if they are all good quality posts worth reading? My instincts tells me it is not worth my time reading them all. Nonetheless, since I have strive to have authors that write on different parts of the threesome spectrum and because I try to strive to include a variety of authors, I have decided to include this one.

1) Just…there by Krystalla

2) 2nd Honeymoon by Krystalla

3) Why I Love Big Pussy Sex by Love Small Penis

4) Negotiations and Finding Your Core Values by Loving Without Boundaries

5) Why I’ve Never Been Interested in a Threesome by Adventures in Randomness

6) A Fantasy Shared by Cumminsgirl

7) The Unicorn is Getting Restless by Good Clean Fun

8) Be Careful for What you Wish for by Sexual Maniacs Anonymous

9) Cuckolding from MD by mdsh143

10) Sex Tips for Group Activities by FriendsshipFunandMaybeaBlog

 

April’s list

Week of 22 April 2014

Week of 15 April 2014

Week of 29 April 2014

May’s list

Week of 5 May 2014

Week of 12 May 2014

Week of 19 May 2014

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