First Time cuckolding: The once in a lifetime roller coaster ride that is worth taking

First Time? No Ticket Required

I remember riding a roller coaster as a kid. The fear of heights along with the fear of falling out that always made me nervous of riding a roller coaster. Then as the roller coaster climbed to the top rushing down, emotional rush as it speeds down the hill.

Cuckolding in some ways is like being on a roller coaster. Once she agrees to try cuckolding and a lot of images miraculously enter your mind. Not everyone cuckolds and a feeling of privilege begins overtaking your body like a tidal wave. The feeling, is like winning the lottery or receiving membership in an exclusive club. It is something very unique. Soon questions, fears, anxiety, and a flurry of other emotions begins to grip your mind. A feeling of being overwhelmed hits and questions such as, is this normal enter your mind?

What is it like during the time from ‘yes’ to the actual experience and then afterwards? What can I do to help me through the time? Agreeing to be cuckold can be a rich and rewarding experience. However until you have the experience, know what to expect, and know the outcome then the experience is best describe as an emotional roller coaster.

The Journey

1) Emotional Roller coaster

After agreeing to have a cuckold, it is common for emotions fluctuate very quickly and to fluctuate for varying lengths of time. In the beginning it is common to feel elation and maybe some fear. During this time fear is quickly ignored because of the surge of feeling immense joy over the upcoming event.

Then as the day gets closer extremes feelings happen. Suddenly you feel excitement and then fear.  The fear grips your mind and then every thing that can go wrong appears in your mind, like a bad dream. Panic can happen and doubts if this is the right choice happens. Right before succumbing to the fear, reality comes to rescue by removing the fear.

Now the day arrives and she leaves for her date. At first a quiet calm happens, feeling like a member of an exclusive club and feeling privilege leads to a feeling of euphoria. As the feeling of euphoria beings to wane, fear begins chirping like a child wanting to know how much longer. The feeling of euphoria stifles the sound of fear but as the feeling of euphoria diminishes like a mother who cannot keep saying no. Soon fear takes over. Is she safe? Is she enjoying herself? What will she be like when she gets home? Is our relationship over? Why did I agree to this when I could have said no? starting playing like a tape recording.

The cycle of feeling euphoria and fear continues. Watching television or playing a game of solitaire is not an option since the emotional roller coaster is creating too much anxiety. Only a distraction can work.

2) Need for distraction

The need for a distraction is fairly obvious by providing an emotional balance during this time that will not cause harm later. A distraction can be as simple as housework, gardening, or going to a movie. It can involve a friend or a group. However, not everyone wants to know about cuckolding or someone’s sexual adventure therefore it becomes necessary being selective discussing the reason for distraction.

3) Desire to push the limits

During the time of joy, euphoria, or excitement feeling like nothing can bad can happen does occur. It leads to a feeling of invincibility and the willingness the change boundaries because nothing bad can happen. This feeling comes about from being a part of a privilege and for the most part, a secret club. However, we tend to forget superman had his Krypton and every club has it rules.

4) Relationship Changes

Through the emotional highs and emotional lows something is quietly happening in the background, change. That is right change to the relationship is occurring. Nothing is frozen forever in time and we are not able to go back in time to fix or prevent something from going wrong.

In a few days, weeks, or months, she is going to have sex with someone outside of the relationship. This will mean the relationship, for better or worse, will change. Change will occur in threesome stages.

First stage is the immediate stage. This is the time from right after she returns for the first few weeks. It is the time when the relationship copes with the cuckolding experience and redefines itself. During this period there is a lot of change occurring.

Second stage is the latency stage. After the resolution of the first stage there is a period of relative quiet where very little occurs. This can last for a few days, weeks, or months.

Final stage is the new normal. Through all of the discussions that have occurred, perception of the experience, and attitudes towards each other will redefine this stage. This is the point where the relationship finally works resolves the issues and defines how the couple will relate to each other.

5) Empowerment

During relationship changes and the fluctuations of emotions that are occurring there is something very quietly working in the background, empowerment. Cuckolding can be a very empowering experience for a couple. For him it is about expressing his desire in an open way and having his desire met. This means he is able to openly communicate his tawdry desire and have it met without fear of retribution. Depending on the form the couple’s cuckolding takes, it can be a way for him to give control to his wife and unburden some of the pressure he feels.

For her is a lot deeper. By cuckolding she is able to confirm her sexual desirability to someone else without fear of loosing the relationship. This can be a very powerful experience because it can show her she is more than a wife, a mother, and she is a sexual person.

Finally for the couple, cuckolding provides a route for improving the communication and a way to get their needs met.

Journey Aftermath

6) Knowing the Details

Trying cuckolding means only one person has sex with someone outside of the relationship that is done with the knowledge and consent of the other person in the relationship. This can be prove a very powerful aphrodisiac for a couple because one of them has an experience the other does not and by sharing the details of the experience it can be something that binds them as a couple.

This raises the question, how do you share the details? From my experience, the best way is to tell it like a story and tell it as a part of foreplay. Focus on the feelings, scents, mood, and anything else that can draw your partner into the story. Use a tone a voice that is  suggestive and inviting. Do not rush it and do not have him just laying listening to the story. Instead have him experience the story by becoming a part of it. Have him do the some of things you were experiencing and encourage him. If he asks any questions be hones but positive.

7) Sloppy seconds

One of the succulent rewards of cuckolding is experiencing sloppy seconds. Feeling her stretched from another cock being deep inside of her along with her red swollen lips and if no condom was used, the warm sticky feeling of her lover’s cum. Also there is usually a subtle smell of must.

Sloppy seconds is a result of an experience each individual openly embraced and something that should be enjoyed instead of being shunned.

For her it is a sign of her desirability to another and for him it is a sign of his fantasy being fulfilled. Ideally they should take time together before falling asleep to share and enjoy the experience together.

8) Best Sex of your life

The smell of sex along with details of the experience and experiencing sloppy seconds can lead to an incredible sexual experience. Especially if it is done shortly after she comes home. From my experience, nothing can compare to it.

9) Improved Communication

After the experience and as the relationship finds its ‘new normal.’ One of the possible benefits is seeing improved communication. Especially feeling less afraid to discuss ideas and an open willingness to share ideas that can lead to an increase in trust.

10) Trust Issues

After the euphoria, from hearing the details and enjoying sloppy seconds, reality begins to enter. Questions such as, what happened? How could I have agreed to this? Why did I agree to this? can occur. This happens because the emotional roller coaster is ending, relationship changes are occurring, and facing the reality of what is happening can create issues of trust. This is normal and happens as the relationship undergoes changes that brings up trust issues. It is important to see the experience as a journey not an isolate series of events and to discuss the issue, in a calm and non-judgmental, manner.

In contrast it is very possible cuckolding can be a very positive experience that confirms trust in the relationship and allows the relationship to grow further.

Finally

Cuckolding is not right for every couple. For those that it suitable then cuckolding can be a great experience for any couple who is willing to undertake the risk, who is willing to communicate, and trust each other. It can bring them together, provide powerful visual images for foreplay that will last for many years, and it can improve their communication. It is one roller coaster ride, for the right couple, that is worth taking.

Related Articles

Cuckolding Guide: Enjoying Sloppy Seconds

Power of Sloppy Seconds

Her first date: A cuckolding guide for her

Her first date: A cuckolding guide for him

After Yes Now What: A cuckolding beginners guide

10 things you should know about cuckolding but were afraid to ask

Cuckolding for Couples: Making cuckolding a partnership

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Cuckolding Beginners Guide For Her: Surviving the First Date

Introduction

Cuckolding provides a woman the best of both worlds. An opportunity to openly have a lover that can fulfill needs that only he can fulfill and a chance for her to live out some of her fantasies while maintaining a loving relationship. In order for her to do this requires being dedicated to support her primary relationship, being dedicated to communicating her needs, and be willing to take the first step once the opportunity arises. This guide is a step in the journey and how to make it through the transformation that will occur.

What Have I got myself into?

Defining cuckolding

Cuckolding takes on many different definitions but the underlying meaning of all definitions is a man whose wife / girlfriend has sex with someone else outside of their relationship. Broadly speaking this covers all group sex activities but to understand cuckolding it is important to briefly understand the forms.

I believe cuckolding comes in two ‘flavors’ couples and BDSM. Couples cuckolding in many ways is a quasi open relationship. Whereby the woman has sex with someone outside of their relationship for their mutual enjoyment. The difference, I believe, between an open relationship and couples cuckolding is couples the latter is short-term with the focus on not forming an emotional relationship with the third person.

The above differs from cuckolding that follows the more traditional BDSM route that involves some form of humiliation or domination. In the more traditional form it is a form of open relationship. Whereby the man remains monogamous while his woman partner / spouse forms a relationship with someone outside of the relationship.

Expectations

Your boyfriend or husband will expect that you will have sex with someone else outside of your relationship. Similarly any man or ‘bull’ you meet will expect sex. However, it is important to remember for men when there are expectations about sex performance issues may arise that may lead to disappointment.

The above may sound intimidating but there is a lot power that is harnessed. As a woman you will have the last say over who you select, what happens to you, and nothing will happen without your consent. This means you can set your expectations and can manage the expectations of others. Ideally for the first date it is good to have minimal expectations to prevent feeling disappointment and creating too much pressure.

What do I want?

What do I want? Is a powerful question that opens many possibilities. It suggest cuckolding can offer the freedom to decide your own destiny and to meet a need that is not being met. Also, it gives the chance to live out a fantasy and to experience something only a few couples ever get to experience.

Being a woman who is control of her destiny and finding a lover without hiding it, brings a degree of power. Being able to get the most from the experience means understanding your needs and desires. Ask yourself what do you want from the experience? What would you like to try or do? Is there something about the experience that draws you to it versus having a threesome? This type of experience can fulfill a secret fantasy or an unfilled need if done correcting.

Communication Relationship Power

Having an enjoyable experience comes to down to a relationship that works and the ability to communicate. Communication for an enjoyable experience is vital. By being able to effectively communicate needs, comfort and limits means putting aside needs of others to focus on your needs. This can mean, at times, there are competing needs but by working through the issues finding a compromise that works for all.

In this type of situation, as a woman, you have a lot of control. For your boyfriend / husband it means making his fantasy a reality will not happen unless you agree. Likewise, the other male will not be chosen unless his needs are align with your needs. Knowing how to use your power becomes vital for meeting your needs and making the experience work for all.

Boundaries

Cuckolding is not having a threesome, which means there is a lot more more freedom but more risk too. For your husband / boyfriend it is a time of great anxiety. Also for them it can be a source of great joy. Understanding your husband / boyfriend is vital for the experience to work for him, for you, and the relationship. Since cuckolding is not like a threesome the same type of boundaries do not work. Instead cuckolding requires a different set of boundaries that focus on safety and relationship.

This means having discussions about:

• If you will discuss the experience with the other man
• If you will share ‘sloppy seconds’ with him
• If sex will happen once you get back
• Your husband’s / boyfriend’s comfort level
• Your comfort level
• If you want him to meet the other man
• Safe-sex

Also it raises the question should there be forbidden activities like anal sex or kissing? In my opinion, I believe discussing such topics is futile since your boyfriend / husband will not be present thereby not knowing what transpired.

Meeting

Safety

Thinking about your sexual health and physical well-being is paramount. Sometimes bringing your boyfriend / husband to meet the potential playmate can build a bit of a buffer. By doing this it sends subtle message that someone is aware you are out.

Another point to consider is calling or sending texts to give progress on the date. This can be erotic for your husband / boyfriend and it can serve as a valuable instrument for your safety.

Last point on safety, practicing safe-sex is a must. The last thing you want from a few hours of bliss is an unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted infection. Best advice use a condom along with a back up birth control method.

Build a Buffer

Meeting someone for the first time can be a very anxious and awkward time. Being able to ‘click’ online or over the phone is one thing; however meeting in person is totally different. From the beginning let the potential playmate know there are no expectations from the meeting and it is about seeing if things can go further. Taking your boyfriend / husband with can give you a perspective that you may not see before deciding to go forward and if you decide not to go forward with the idea then having them there is a way to politely leave.

 At the meeting

Before meeting the third person discuss with your husband / boyfriend about the meeting. Develop signals and code words to signify:

• comfort
• nothing will happen
• you want to leave
• he is not comfortable with the other male
• you are getting comfortable with the other male
• time for him to leave

This may sound obvious but it is easy for him not to notice because he will be going through his own evaluation. Thereby missing something you might be trying to communicate with him. By talking before meeting the other male it will help to make sure the two of you work as a team and help make the evening go seamlessly.

Examples

• Suggest to your partner to dance or chat to someone as a signal to leave.
• Suggesting to your partner to buy some drinks as a signal you want to get to know the other male alone
• Touching or kissing the other male to show comfort
• Taking off glasses to show discomfort about choice
• Talking about getting up early as way to leave for husband / boyfriend or you bring it up as way to bring the meeting to an early close
• Mentioning a friend being ill as a signal to your husband / boyfriend you have no interest in the other male

Finally Alone

Before actually meeting, it may be worthwhile asking what helps him to relax and what helps to make him comfortable. If you have a fantasy about undressing for another male then share it with him.

After all of the communication and meeting the two of you are finally alone. For you it can be a time of fear and uncertainty because your husband is not there with you. Alternatively it may be a time of excitement because of the unbounded possibilities that exist. In either situation it is important to be able to relax and communicate your needs

For him it can be a time of great anxiety. Watch him, do not rush, and spend a few minutes talking. Helping him relax and you being able to relax will help. Men like looking a women naked and undressing slowly in front him will help arouse him. If you are comfortable asking him to undress you this could be an arousing moment for the both of you.

After undressing there is no need to rush. Take time to enjoy each other and explore. Since he is new, let him know what feels good and if necessary guide him. This your time to make your fantasy come true and mold him into your desires.

As the fantasy becomes reality think about what feels good and what do you want to experience. Try to balance it against trying too much and putting too much pressure on him or yourself.

Returning to your husband

If everything has gone as expected then you should being feeling good about yourself and the experience. Soon you will be back with your husband / boyfriend. This can be quite erotic and very intimate if you choose. For some men, ‘sloppy seconds‘ can be quite intimidating but a confident man will know how to enjoy it.

If the two of you have not agreed that you will bathe before laying with him and if you have not agreed the experience will not be discussed then take him to bed. Encourage him to explore you and to feel where the other man has been. Play to his fantasy of sharing you by telling him how good it was and how much you enjoyed it.

Finally

Surviving the first date takes a lot of communication and trust. Also, it involves a special couple that can introduce a third person and continue to make their relationship work. The key to surviving the first date is felling empowered and being in charge of your destiny. If you can communicate your needs and make everyone happy then you are on your way in having it all.

Other Articles of Interest

Enjoying Slopppy Seconds

5 Laws for Establishing Boundaries

FAQs about Boundaries

Cuckolding Relationship

Easing into Cuckolding or Threesome

Watching my wife have sex

Power of Sloppy Seconds

Debunking Cuckold Myths

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Cuckolding Beginners Guide: Surviving the First Date

Introduction

The cuckolding fantasy give a safe place to view the experience and have the ideal outcome.  Once the first date approaches the fantasy metamorphosis into a storm at sea with the flurry of emotions, the fear, and panic before being replaced with excite the first date brings. It is not until she arrives home and discussing the experience does the storm finally subside. So, how do you survive the storm that comes with the first date?

Boundaries

Starting point is establishing basic boundaries. Cuckolding is not a threesome and will need very different boundaries. A boundary for a threesome might be no kissing, one-off, or no anal sex. This is because having a threesome is a team activity whereby each person can verify the other is following each boundary and as a couple become comfortable with having a threesome their need for specific boundaries begin the wane. Therefore, a boundary in a threesome situation is more about comfort and providing a degree of emotional safety to make sure the threesome does not go beyond a certain points.

However, in a cuckold having a boundary is more about physical safety or relationship safety than emotional safety. Examples of boundaries may include:

• No staying overnight
• Call / text to give update about the date is progressing
• Number of times in a month she meets the other man
• Amount and type of communication that can occur
• Degree to which the discussing the events of her being intimate with someone else
• Meeting the other male and being to ‘veto’ him if not acceptable.

It can be said, having a cuckold requires a higher degree of trust and a deeper understanding of what cuckolding involves to make sure safety.

Build up the relationship

Building up the relationship  prior to the first date is vital for ensuring a positive cuckolding experience and ensuring the relationship can survive the experience. This means any relationship issue that can cause a problem is resolved before the first date and it means finding a way to connect at an emotional level to bond.

Next building up the relationship can also mean changing your communication style whereby the focus changes from superficial discussions to problem resolution. Such a change may involve talking about feelings, needs, and then working towards an agreeable solution.

Finally, building up the relationship means supporting her through the experience in order for it to be a positive experience for her. It may need helping her prepare for the first day and making herself look attractive. This may mean putting aside your feelings to help her feel confident that this is the right decision.

Relationship Changes

As the first date gets closer there may be noticeable relationship changes:

• She may become emotionally distant
• She may want more time to herself
• Sex may decrease or stop
• Anxiety and fear about the relationship may become more common
• Arguments may increase
• Premature ejaculation or inability to become erect
• She may become more focused on appearance

It is important to view them as normal but after the first date, they can be a sign of an issue that needs discussing.

Distraction

The first time can be quite unnerving. She is gone, hopefully enjoying herself with someone else while you are left alone. It is a time when fear and anxiety build that can lead to a hasty decision being made. It is important while she is out a distraction is found that does not involve using drugs, does not involve using alcohol and does not shopping. From my experience, if you are at home, cleaning is a good distraction. Likewise going to a movie or going out also serves as distinction.

Post Date Relationship Changes

Cuckolding will forever change your relationship and each encounter makes it more difficult for the relationship to return to an exclusive relationship.  It is important to expect change and the degree, to which, the change will occur will depend on how the experience impacts each of you.

Finally

Until the first date cuckolding is only a fantasy. However, as the first date approaches the relationship will under go temporary changes that may involve creating an emotional distance to prepare for the cuckolding experience along with the male noticing sexual changes. After the date it is likely there will be changes to the relationship and to make sure the experience is positive the couple will need to make sure they continue to communicate. The first date can be a positive experience if you plan for it, communicate, and view any change positively.

Other Articles of Interest

Cuckolding Beginners Guide for Her: Surviving the First Date

Cuckolding Beginners Guide: Enjoying Sloppy Seconds

Universal Boundaries

FAQs Regarding Boundaries

5 Laws for Establishing Boundaries

Cuckolding Relationship

Easing into Cuckolding or Threesome

8 Cuckolding Secrets Every Couple Should Know

Watching My Wife Having Sex with Another Man

Cuckolding and the Power Sloppy Seconds

Debunking Cuckold Myths

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8 cuckolding secrets every new couple should know

Cuckolding Secrets

We see our wife or girlfriend flirting with another guy and it gets us thinking maybe letting her fuck him would be quite sensual. Maybe there is a ‘hot’ co-worker that you want to fuck but not sure how to approach your husband or spouse. Unfortunately there are very few objective sources of information on how to plan something like this. Instead we are left with imagery of a forbidden act that is rarely publicly discussed and now in this article, some of the mystery is removed by exposing some of the cuckolding secrets

1) Cuckolding can be liberating

Confidentially cuckolding is a very eye-opening experience. I remember my first experience with Brittany. We started talking about the idea and I was fine with it. Then once she went ahead with it, I remember the near crippling fear it created for me and the panic worrying about her. I remember pacing through the house  going through a lot of feelings very quickly. One moment I am frantic worrying about the relationship and what it will mean for us. Then the next moment I envisioning her having mind-blowing sex with the other guy and I remember how the image of her having sex with someone else aroused me. After coming home and sharing the experience with me, it was stunning how liberating the experience was for me.

2) Cuckolding is not like porn or web sites

Insiders know cuckolding is very different that how it gets portrayed. Cuckolding is a forbidden activity that is not mentioned on television, the movies, or in the print media. The vacuum that is created is filled by porn and cuckolding web sites that can paint a biased picture of experience. Reddit,I believe, does a good job at providing a balanced image of cuckolding but it does not provide a lot of information regarding relationships.

Having a cuckold will forever change your relationship. It can be the poison that plummets the relationship into turmoil before finally killing it. Alternatively it can be a sensual wonderful experience that transform the relationship for the better.

3) Cuckolding comes in many forms

I believe it is preposterous believing cuckolding is strictly a fetish or it is strictly a BDSM activity. Instead cuckolding is a very sensual experience that has many forms. It can be:

• An open-relationship whereby the man remains monogamous and the woman enter in a long-term emotional relationship with another man while preserving her primary relationship
• A BDSM activity where Domination (e.g. woman taking on another lover) and Submission (e.g. male agreeing and not having sex with her prior to her being with her male lover) is a part of the experience. There can be a lot of variation and depth to the experience. A lot depends on the boundary of the couple.
• One off experience whereby the woman has sex with another man with her partner’s full knowledge and consent.

4) Cuckolding is not about penis size

I believe it is arrogant to assume small penis size = cuckolding. There is a lot of research that contradicts this argument and I believe cuckolding is a lot deeper than a one-dimensional element, penis size.

5) Communication

Cuckolding is not a threesome and it is more similar to an open relationship where one person remain monogamous. As a result the need for clear concise communication is essential. If cuckolding is going to work then as a couple need communicating and working through any issue that may arise, such as jealousy, is vital.

6) Relationship must come first

Relationship coming first is one rule I quickly learned and practice. Cuckolding maybe the steamy and tawdry experience the two of you believe you want.  However, your relationship with your spouse must take priority. Losing sight of your relationship can put your relationship into a tailspin that smashes and delivers the deathblow to it. Finding a way to maintain the relationship while cuckolding will probably the biggest challenge.

7) Cuckolding can secure a relationship

Cuckolding, I do not believe, can fix a poor relationship and I believe, if couple chooses cuckolding as a way for fix their relationship then it is likely the relationship will take a pummeling resulting in the death of the relationship. Nonetheless I do believe, if a couple has a good relationship then it is possible the result will be a securer relationship.

8) Cuckolding is about trust, power, communication

When you peel back all the layers of cuckolding the core of cuckolding I believe cuckolding is about is trust, power, and communication.

a) Trust

Without trust cuckolding, I believe, is cheating. Cuckolding requires:

• boundaries are followed
• cuckolding relationship will not bleed into the relationship
• relationship will continue

This means level of trust must be there allowing each person feeling secure in their relationship with the other.

b) Power

This will not be a treatises on the discuss of power in the relationship.

In the United States the issue of relationship power is prevalent but oddly, it is not a big topic in Europe. Nonetheless relationship power means who drives the relationship in specific area (e.g. money) and there is a constant struggle for power.

Regarding cuckolding there is a transfer of power to the woman by the man. Arguably it can be said the male is the true holder of the power in a cuckolding relationship but for this article I will keep it simple by saying the woman has the power.

Why? He is agreeing to let her have sex with another of her choice for something in return. She then takes that power to decide who she will pick and how she will allow the other man to fuck her. Essentially he is submitting to her will. Depending on the dynamics of their relationship, power in the relationship may be very one-sided or it maybe more egalitarian.

c) Communication

Communication has already been addressed and I will not regurgitate it here. Instead I will state at is core cuckolding communication can be the drive that improves the relationship by forcing the couple to rethink how they communicate with each other. Cuckolding will fundamentally force changing their communication style in order to accommodate the additional demands cuckolding will place on them. If done right the changes made by a couple regarding communication maybe the behind the scenes reason they appear happy to other couples.

Finally – the secret is

Cuckolding is seen by many as a forbidden activity because of its mystery and potential risk to a relationship. Nonetheless there is nothing to fear if the secrets of this forbidden activity is understood. The key in having a thrilling cuckolding experience is communicating and respecting boundaries.  If you can respect each other and communicate then I can almost guarantee that you will have an enjoyable cuckolding experience.

 

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7 great free cuckolding web sites

Great web sites for cuckolding information

 

Below are seven cuckolding web sites that provide a variety of information and are a great resource. Please be aware they not in affiliated with this site and this site does not have control over their content. Also be aware by clicking on the below links you will be leaving this site.

 

 

 

 

1) Reddit Cuckolding Community

• Registration: Reddit requires registration resulting in Reddit limiting the number of time you can post in a given period of time, especially for new members.  However as you post and gain points the restrictions begin to ease.
• Cost: Free
• Type of Site: Moderated Forums
• Emphasis: General cuckolding issues and I believe, it has a centrist perspective.
• Summary: It can be an invaluable tool for someone just starting out and it can be an invaluable tool for seeking advice if you encounter an issue along your journey. At least from my perspective, the questions are quite varied and I find the replies to be helpful. In my opinion, this is a great resource for anyone interested in learning more about cuckolding or anyone wanting support.

2) Cuckold Stories Blog:

• Registration: Not required for stories and not required to read the forum.
• Cost: No cost for the blog section. However the forum site does require payment to post and see link.
• Type of site: Cuckold story and Forum site with pictures. In my opinion, this site is both a general cuckolding site and a site that also specializes in cuckolding as BDSM, in particular Domination / Submission.
• Summary: Unlike Reddit’s site Cuckold Blog Stories takes cuckolding further. It takes cuckolding, I believe, into Domination / Submission with a focus on small penis humiliation. Small penis humiliation, on this site, is taken to the extent where the male, in some situations, wears a chastity device and the wife deprive him of sex. In my opinion, this site takes cuckolding further and to the extreme.

3) Love Small Penis:

• Registration: Not required if you are a WordPress member
• Cost: None
• Type of Site: Cuckolding from a personal perspective.
• Summary: Site is dedicated to the topic of small penis with information and resources on cuckolding.

4) My Other Self:

• Registration: None
• Cost: None
• Type of Site: Research into open relationships and cuckolding
• Summary: This is a relatively basic site that provides links to research into the topic of open relationships and cuckolding.

5) Cuckolds Forum:

• Registration: Required if you are replying or posting
• Cost: None
• Type of Site: Forum
• Summary: A comprehensive forum site regarding cuckolding for those who are exploring the idea to those who are quite experience.

6) Cuckold Marriage:

• Registration: Required if you want to participate
• Cost: None
• Type of Site: Combination of forum and information
• Summary: A comprehensive site that tries to cater to a variety of interests that appears to target married couples.

7) Cuckold Couples:

• Registration: None
• Cost: None
• Type of Site: Information
• Summary: Site appears old and outdated because of its over-emphasis of using color. It has a very 1990 to early 2000 feel to it. Nonetheless the site is a good source of information for any couple considering the idea of cuckolding.

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Cuckolding relationship

Uniqueness of a cuckolding relationship

Imagine for a moment a relationship where each of you can have your fantasy fulfilled. Further imagine a relationship where you can change the momentum of the relationship for a period of time to fulfill each others fantasy. Next imagine a relationship where trust is the central characteristic. Finally imagine a relationship that requires each of you agreeing to continue an aspect of the relationship. Does this sound like an unattainable relationship or an ideal relationship? Actually this is a description of a cuckolding relationship.

Cuckolding can offer a couple an unique opportunity to fulfill each others fantasy while building trust in the relationship. For someone that is new to the idea of cuckolding maybe asking how does trust fit into cuckolding since it involves a third person in the relationship? Trust stems from keeping the boundaries and the communication that occurs. In order for cuckolding to work trust must exist and it must be able to grow over time, otherwise the relationship will cease to exist.

This brings up the next question, if the woman is sleeping with another man how is each person’s fantasy being fulfilled? For the man in the relationship normally he has a fantasy of his wife being with another man. It may seem counter-intuitive that such a fantasy can be arousing but for some, it can be very powerful, especially if he views his penis size is hampering her enjoyment of sex. Her fantasy can vary a bit. It can stem from having power in the relationship and control over her husband. Alternatively it can be having two concurrent lovers or it can be the experience of being with someone else.

So how does a cuckolding relationship change? One of the biggest issues is dealing with the issue of jealousy. Jealousy can be problematic especially in the beginning but with more experience the issue should resolve itself; however, if it does not then the cuckolding aspect should end. Another change is communication. Clear concise information needs to be communicated. Any ambiguity can lead to misunderstanding and conflict. Third change is a shift in power in the relationship. This change is arguable since the argument can be made for the man or the woman holding the power. In my opinion, the shift of power is to the woman since she is the one who decides who she has sex with, how often, and when. Final change is trust. Trust is very fragile and if not treated correctly it can be destroyed. By communicating and changing the power structure in the relationship trust changes. If the change in trust can be harnessed for changing the relationship for the better then it can have very positive impact on the relationship.

Would I recommend a cuckolding relationship to everyone? No, I would not since each relationship is different with different needs. However, I would recommend a couple consider evaluate the idea if they have been together for a period of time and have had at least one threesome / foursome experience. At least by having some type of group sex experience the couple can begin to understand the challenges they can expect to face and how their relationship might change. Therefore, cuckolding should not be discouraged but understood. By understanding cuckolding it can provide a couple with more options for their relationship and for some it can help them enhance their relationship.

FAQs about cuckolding

What is cuckolding?

Cuckolding refers to a committed couple whereby the woman has sex with someone outside of their relationship. It is done with the knowledge and consent of her partner.

With that said this author feels there are two forms of cuckolding. One form has elements of BDSM in particular domination / submission, which typically involves some form of humiliation. In this form it is the woman who takes on the dominant role and the male takes on the submissive role. Typically the woman will limit or withhold sex from her male partner while she is involved with another male. Also, it is common for the male to wear a male chastity device to prevent him from masturbating.

Second form involves sharing the experience. In this form of cuckolding there is no domination / submission with humiliation. Instead both agree to the experience and the woman finds a male lover outside of their relationship. Once she returns she will typically share the experience with her male partner. This may include not bathing and telling him about the experience while they have sex.

What is cuckqueaning?

It is the same as cuckolding except it is the male that takes on a lover outside of the relationship and generally speaking, this form is much less common than cuckolding. On this site, this author uses cuckolding to address both cuckolding and cuckqueaning.

How is cuckolding different than having a threesome?

Cuckolding differs from a threesome in two fundamental ways. The first way, cuckolding is more of an individual activity than a team activity. Unlike a threesome it is the woman who does most of the searching and it is her that will have sex with someone else without her partner being there.

Second way cuckolding is different, for the woman it means she is no longer monogamous to her partner but her partner remains, in most cases, monogamous.

This means cuckolding is a quasi-open relationship whereby the man has a less active role and the woman primarily plans her experience. The extent to which she shares the experience is primarily determined by the boundaries they have established.

Is cuckolding an open relationship?

In this author’s opinion, cuckolding can be a form of an open relationship and the test is how long it lasts. If it is something the couple tries a few times and then agrees not to incorporate in their lives then it is not. However, if it is something that continues and becomes a part of their life then this author feels it is a form of an open relationship that normally involves one partner remaining exclusive.

Would you recommend cuckolding to a couple who has no threesome or wife swapping experience?

No, without some group sex experience, such as threesome or wife-swapping, the couple is not fully aware of the issues involved. Typical issues include emotional reactions, communication, and the work needed to support the relationship. Group sex experience will not necessarily prepare the couple for cuckolding but it will give them some experience regarding the issues that they may face should they try cuckolding. Instead this author feels the right approach would be to start out with having a threesome and then let cuckolding evolve naturally from it.

What are three issues a couple may face if they try cuckolding?

Beyond the issues of pregnancy and STIs probably the most common issue will be jealousy. Jealousy will come in different forms such as feeling disconnected from your partner, feeling ignored or outright jealous. Another issue is communication. Again it can take different forms such as too much communication about what is occurring, too little communication, or not the right communication. If a couple tries cuckolding communication is going to be paramount to keeping their relationship together. Final issue, resolving feelings about cuckolding, cuckolding is a practice that is not readily accepted and very few people understand. This means there is very little support and it also means it can create a lot of feelings about participating in this type of experience. It is important if a couple is going to try this then both of them are confident in their choice.

Should I have my partner meet my lover before anything happens?

It comes down to your agreed boundaries but it is something this author recommends. Having them meet them will help both of you and ideally they should have the last say, if it happens. By doing this, it allows them to take part in the decision making process and it gives them the responsibility for agreeing. If they agree then they share the responsibility for the decision for cuckolding to occur.

Related articles

• Why some couples choose full threesomes (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Threesome Terminology (3somes.wordpress.com)
• SL Letter of the Day: Intriguing Cuckolding (slog.thestranger.com)
• Examining the Fastest Growing Super-fetish Called Cuckolding (prweb.com)
• I wish she would wear one… (hornsofplenty.wordpress.com)
• A Deeper Understanding of Cuckoldry from Moi’s Perspective (multifacetedmoi.com)
• Your Girlfriend Is Flirting With Your Best Friend. What Now? (heartiste.wordpress.com)

Why couples choose cuckolding?

Introduction

Life is a journey that each of us makes. Along the journey, we find people who join us and sometimes they leave to continue on their path. On the route we travel, feedback from others and learning occurs causing a change in path for our journey. My journey has allowed me to learn more about cuckolding and weave it with my experiences with threesomes. If someone were to ask me, what is one area that my knowledge is increasing form this journey? The response I would give, the biggest evolution of I have seen is my opinion of cuckolding.

Defining Cukolding

Before continuing, it is important to define cuckolding since each person defines it differently. Cuckolding involves the involvement of another person in a relationship either on a short-term or long-term basis that requires consent of the non-participating individual. Furthermore this activity is typically expressed with one individual in the relationship having sex outside of the relationship while the other partner remains monogamous. The reason for this can vary from opening up the relationship, to a domination / submission relationship, or various other reasons. Therefore, I feel cuckolding is best described by using a spectrum definition. A spectrum definition for cuckolding means examining:  the presence or absence of: domination / submission in the relationship, the degree to which  describing the relationship as an open relationship, the length of relationships, and the number of relationships, and the frequency that contact with the other person occurs. Thereby making the definition of cuckolding difficult due to the various ways it is expressed.

For those who have read my writings may know my experience with cuckolding has been with one strand of cuckolding and I have come to appreciate that there are other strands too. From my experience, I feel there is an underlying assumption, that cuckolding and cheating are synonymous. Cheating involves a violation of trust, due to a violation of boundaries and the breakdown of communication that leads one partner to meet their needs outside of the relationship. Whereas cuckolding involves, maintaining trust through an open and honest discussion about the activity. It also involves establishing boundaries, and working as a team to maintain the established boundaries. Therefore, the root of the difference comes from cuckolding is done in the open and done to the extent that the couple is agreeable versus an activity that is done in the cloak of secrecy.

The above definition may seem puzzling to some and I will try to provide a few examples as to how I envision cuckolding. One example is a typical scenario of the male feeling inadequate about penis size or is quite submissive in the relationship. In order for the male to address the inadequacy or to express his submissive nature in the relationship, the couple enters into cuckolding. This scenario will score high on domination / submission along, scoring high with the relationship being whereby the submissive male remains monogamous and scoring high on the other aspects. My feeling this comes about due to the couple waning to incorporate domination / submission into their relationship or it could come about as a way to maintain the relationship.

Another example would be similar to the above example but this time the male half of the couple is dominant with a submissive female partner. I feel, this could come about because the woman is in a high demanding role where she needs to be in control and this is one way for her to loose some control. Alternatively, I feel, this could come about from the couple wanting to have traditional roles and the woman does this not to please her husband. If you were to score this scenario it would score high on domination / submission, high on being an open relationship due to one person remaining monogamous, but scoring as it relates to relationship including number would be lower than the first example since this would most likely be a more controlled situation. Reason for the lower scoring on the number of relationships and length would most likely be due the amount of time needed before the woman agrees and her need to maintain her relationship with her partner.

Third example would be a couple exploring the idea of having sex with someone outside of the relationship. This would, most likely be a one-off or limited time experience that is not regularly repeated. The idea here is to allow one partner, for whatever reason, a chance to explore sex with someone else. This means this type of activity:

• Is done in the open with their partner’s knowledge and consent
• The relationship is not opened up since it is done for a limited time
• There is not a BDSM element operating such as domination or humiliation
• There is boundaries about the activity
• There is agreement on how much information is shared.

Scoring this would result in a very low score for domination / submission due to the decision being about exploration. In addition, it would score low on being an open relationship since this experience would maintain emotional monogamy. Finally, it would score low on other aspects since it is about exploring and not maintaining a relationship.  Typically couples that want to explore the idea, try something different, or fulfill a fantasy would pursue this type of scenario.

A final example would be role-playing the idea. This implies that the couple does not physically involve a third person but plays out the idea. When scoring it this would mean domination / submission would be either moderate or low, depending on the scene. Others would be non-existent since there is not the involvement of a third person.

Many readers is at this point may be asking what is the point of this review or essay? The answer to this question is not easy, since there seems to be some confusion about cuckolding and some hostility to it as a subject. The rest of this essay will examine some of the reasons why a couple might consider the idea.

Ideally, I believe, cuckolding is something a couple should consider only after having some type of group sex experience together. Reason for this belief is grounded in the belief that by having the group sex experience a couple understands what is involved, understands if cuckolding is an option for them, and develop communication skills needed to help them work through a cuckolding experience. Now, I realize that we do not live in the ideal world but the real world, which means people / couples do not operate as expected. For couples who do not come to cuckolding as an extension of their group sex experience, I feel, there are several reasons why a couple might choose cuckolding and those reasons are discussed in the rest of this article.

Motivation

In the above paragraphs, I briefly touched on relationship variations where cuckolding might occur and in this section, I will go deeper by talking about motivation for a couple a couple. Motivation, simply put it is the reason why a couple participates in having a cuckold due to the rewards it provides the couple and the rewarding being provided exceeds the risk of having a cuckold.

For example, Couple A (a fictitious couple) who has been married 15 years decides to try cuckolding. The husband, Mark, find the idea of his wife having sex with someone else arousing and his wife, June, decides to provide that experience for him. After having sex with another man, June, comes back telling Mark about it and Mark then has sex with sex. Mark finds his orgasm is intense even though while June is out Mark went through  plethora of emotions from extreme fear to a high state of arousal from imagining what June is doing with her lover. From the experience Mark and June have found they have improved communication and a deeper trust of each other. In this case the motivation for the couple is the positive change in their relationship.

With that said, in the above example change in the relationship is a motivating factor for having a cuckold and it this can be quite a powerful motivator. However there are others, such as wanting to explore the idea, allowing sexual freedom, exploring domination / submission, and other reasons. The reason for motivation, this author feels, will determine to extent the couple will peruse cuckolding.

Reward

This author is not going to get into a Psychology 101 discussion of positive and negative reinforcement, rewards. Instead I will continue with the above example of the couple in the section on Motivation and discuss rewards. Unlike motivation understanding the risk is not necessary. In understanding rewards, the reward must be strong enough to encourage the continuation of the behavior. This means in the above example the rewards for Mark are the emotions he goes through, hearing about his wife’s experience after she comes back, and being able to have sex with her once she returns. For June the rewards includes having sex with someone else, breaking society’s norms, and sex with her husband.

It is obvious from the above example that the rewards being given will diminish over time an as a couple they will have to find other rewards to maintain their motivation for cuckolding. For the above couple, it could be the changes in their relationship may be enough to motivate them as the rewards diminish or it could be, as the rewards diminish, the couple looses their interest in cuckolding. This means their is a relationship between the rewards and motivation.

Society’s Norms

From birth message about roles and relationships bombard us. The messages come from religion, school, observing adults interact, and test our beliefs while searching for a partner that meets our needs. From there we incorporate some, rebel against others, and follow some norms until being able to replace it our belief regarding relationships resulting in a philosophy about what we believe is acceptable in a relationship.

My feeling, one factor that I feel motivates couples towards cuckolding or conversely is the biggest barrier in exploring cuckolding is, societal norms regarding relationships. For many couples adhering to societal norms provides a level of stability, a sense of security, a sense of worth / purpose, and decreased anxiety because they are living within society’s expectations.

Adhering to societal norms does not ensure a successful relationship but can lessen conflict within the relationship, thereby maintaining relationship stability. For couples that choose to divert from societal norms cuckolding becomes a possibility, though not a guarantee. Couples who choose this route may risk being discovered, may risk being spurn by those around them, and may risk isolation if because they chose a different route. However, if a couple can successfully balance the desire to define their relationship based on their values, instead of society’s, along with the anxiety that is created by not strictly adhering to society’s expectation then may find happiness by having more control over their relationship.

Needs

Need differs from a want because a need is something that must occur in order to maintain the relationship. Essentially this means without it, the relationship would cease to exist or at least be fraught with conflict. This can be risky for the relationship, since a need maybe one-sided whereby one person needs it to stay in the relationship while the other person does not. The differing value on the need puts pressure on the other to agree to fulfill the need or risk the relationship ending. Being able to negotiate need and communicate them becomes paramount for the survival of the relationship.

For example, couple B decides to try a cuckold relationship because one of them has a higher sex drive and the other has a low sex drive. Couple B believes by meeting the need of the individual with the high sex drive, by allowing a cuckold to occur, relieves pressure on the individual with the lower sex drive to have sex, thereby maintaining an equilibrium in the relationship. Arguably, it is a need because the couple feel cuckolding is central to maintain the relationship. However, I believe, this is a want since other possibilities exist before considering the option for cuckolding. This type of scenario also raises another issue regarding the impact on the relationship because the lower sex drive may not feel complete because they do not meet their partner’s needs thereby adversely influencing their relationship and it does not address an underlying issue in the relationship the reason for the competing sex drives.

Wants / Exploration

It is easy to confuse needs for wants. In this situation, a want is something that moves the relationship in a different direction and comes from the desire to try something different. This implies a want is not core to keep the relationship viable and it something for consideration. At this point, it is important to mention, a desire to explore is different than replacing something that is missing in the relationship or fix a trouble relationship. If the decision to try cuckolding is to fix or save a failing relationship then it is not want and probably a sign that cuckolding is the wrong choice until the issue is resolved.

Another example, Couple C ( a fictitious couple), appears to be a very typical married couple. They are enjoy trying new things, evaluating them, and then deciding their next step. Fred one day suggest to Melissa that he would like to have her have sex with another male. At first Melissa is shocked but then acquiesces to Fred’s suggestion and meets Tom for a one-off meet, with Fred’s knowledge. Both Fred and Melissa enjoy the experience but decide it is not for them.

Finally, this author feels the difference between a want and need is dependent on the extent to which the relationship depends on meeting it. In the example with Couple B, there was a need in order to maintain the relationship and minimize conflict. Whereas the couple wanting to explore the idea,  Couple C, is a want, since the relationship could continue without trying cuckolding.

Resolution

Under this type of motivation, the couple may want to explore cuckolding in order to resolve a question or a mundane issue that comes up without having an impact on the relationship. A question that cuckolding might be used to resolve would be, “what it would feel like if I did have sex with my first boyfriend?” Another question might be, “What would it be like to have sex with the guy that flirts with me while he takes my order at the coffee shop?” Alternatively, the mundane issue could be one partner not having as much sexual experience as the other, a boyfriend / girlfriend from the past, an attraction to someone outside of the relationship, or another issue.

Compromise: Monogamy versus open relationship

Arguably cuckolding can provide a solution for a couple who wants an open relationship but wants to maintain some level of monogamy. In a cuckolding situation monogamy only remains for the partner who does not participate. This means cuckolding provides a compromise solution between having a threesome and an open relationship.

Conclusion

Life is a journey that provides many detours, dead-ends, scenic routes, and expressways. Every couple that exits on cuckolding will find that cuckolding will take them to different places with some staying on the cuckolding highway. In order for them to stay on the cuckolding highway, there needs to be enough rewards fueling  their motivation for continuing with cuckolding. Without motivation and rewards cuckolding for a couple will end

Lastly, cuckolding is there for the consideration as a tool in a relationship but it does not mean all of us have to partake. Instead it means appreciating the diversity and richness it brings.  This means, someone else’s journey may not be appropriate for us but we understanding their journey means we can better improve ours. By being able to learn form it, we can learn something a bit about ourselves, what motivates us, what  motivates others, and integrate that learning into our lives. As an author I am glad cuckolding is an option because of the richness it can bring and I hope all that read this article can appreciate it too.

Related articles

• SL Letter of the Day: Intriguing Cuckolding (slog.thestranger.com)
• Threesome Terminology (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Part 1: A Woman’s Guide to Creating a Cuckolding Fantasy World (lovesmallpenis.wordpress.com)
• Part 2: A Woman’s Guide to Creating a Cuckolding Fantasy World (lovesmallpenis.wordpress.com)
• A Deeper Understanding of Cuckoldry from Moi’s Perspective (multifacetedmoi.com)
• Are ‘Open’ Relationships Also More Open to Communication, Trust? (atlantablackstar.com)
• What are People’s Perceptions of Open Relationships? (psychologytoday.com)