At minimum accommodating is arranging a location to have a threesome and typically means providing a place for your threesome guest(s) to spend the night. Normally this is the same bed or guest bedroom if the threesome occurs at a home. If the threesome occurs at a hotel then it means paying for the hotel room.
A consensual sexual practice that involves the use of power and control in order to elicit sexual enjoyment for both involved. The acronym covers multiple types of sexual practices that share a lot of commonality. This means each practice is not mutually exclusive and shares common characteristics with other BDSM practices.
B/D – Bondage / Discipline
This practice involves the use physical restraints, rewards, and ‘punishments’ in order to elicit the desired behavior. It can be as simple as using a pink fuzzy pair of handcuffs or as intricate as training.
Involves the use of restraints such as handcuffs and ties
Used to teach “acceptable behavior”
D/S – Domination / Submission:
Cuckolding tends to fall under this heading in cases where humiliation is a part of activity. Domination / submission can involve the use of disciple or S/M; however the structure is about one individual submitting to the will of the other. In cuckolding an example might be the male wearing penis restraint in order to prevent him from feeling pleasure and his wife having sex with other males, called bulls. In certain circumstances the female withholds sex from her primary partner, sometimes for months, in order raise his sexual enjoyment.
It is the one in control and directing the play. In a cuckolding / cuckqueaning situation it is the one who is going out having sex.
Submission / Submissive:
The one who is following and in a cuckolding situation it is the one who is abstaining from sex.
S/M – Sado-machoism:
Use of pain, such as whips, in order to elicit pleasure.
Bi-curious / bi-curious:
Term used to describe an individual who has an interest in same sex activity; however they have limited or no experience.
Sex without a condom
Bi-sexual / bisexual:
An individual who is capable of forming relationship with either gender. However their interest in same-sex activity will vary overtime.
A term used to describe the chosen male in a cuckold situation. Typically this term is associated with couples that pursue cuckolding along BDSM lines and the bull is the man, outside of the relationship, that is having sex with woman.
There are two types of boundaries, relationship and threesome. Relationship boundaries are the boundaries that define how the relationship will handle the threesome (e.g. not to use it against the other / accepting it is a mutual decision). Whereas threesome boundaries define the limits and the structure of the threesome.
Another term for cuckolding.
A form of cuckolding whereby the experience is not about domination / humiliation nor involving some form of BDSM. Instead it is a mutual decision whereby, typically the female, has sex with someone else alone on a one time or limited basis. Such an experience is arousing for both and something they can both share.
Means the female is the one who is taking the “dominating” role or is the one who is having sex with someone else outside of the relationship. This author believes there are two forms of cuckolding one that involves BDSM in particular Domination / Submission with elements of humiliation and another version that follows more along the lines of an open relationship whereby the male partner remains monogamous.
Feminine version of cuckolding whereby it is the male who takes on the “dominating” role and this form appears to be less common the cuckolding.
A practice that is common in England, whereby a couple has sex in public, typically in their car or in a secluded area. If there are others in the area they will invite someone to watch them or participate. Normally the areas are not well known and tend to be areas that afford the participants some privacy.
Sexual position used in a mmf threesome whereby one male penetrates the woman’s vagina while the other penetrates her anally. A less typical form of DP involves both males penetrating the woman’s vagina at the same time.
Couple remains emotionally exclusive to each other and will have threesomes together. The focus of the threesome is not forming an emotional relationship with the third person and the focus for the couple is the physical enjoyment of sex. Typically couples who want to remain emotionally monogamous to each other will participate in soft-swinging, full threesome, and cuckolding if it is done for as a one-off situation.
Friend with Benefits:
This activity shares common characteristics with threesomes and has been included in the discussion. Friends with benefits is arguably a secondary open relationship and is defined by the friends being able to enter into other relationships. The friendship and sex being about pleasure are the defining characteristics of the relationship. As long as the friends are able to maintain their friendship without developing an emotional attachment the relationship can continue. However, once feelings begin to develop the friends must decide to either develop the friendship into becoming a committed couple or end it.
Full Threesome / Threesome:
Term used to describe three people of legal age and having capable of giving consent having consensual sex.
Term used to describe someone who is heterosexual but has the ability to have limited sexual encounters with someone of the same gender.
Person(s) making the arrangements for a threesome
Invited third person:
A person not a part of the relationship that is invited to join a couple for a threesome.
A term used to describe a couple or an single person that incorporates some type of group sex (e.g. threesome, wife swapping, orgy, etc) into their sexual repertoire. Essentially the practices becomes a part of their lives.
Ménage da Trios:
Translation means love of threes and it is sometimes incorrectly used to describe threesomes. A ménage da trios threesome involves three people being in a relationship together and it is a variation of a threesome.
A closed relationship whereby sex only occurs between the couple.
An event where people who share similar interests in group sex (e.g. threesomes, foursomes, etc) come together to socialize and make new contacts. It is not meant as a venue for sex, like a swingers club, and is meant as a way to meet people who share similar interests.
Is a term that is interchangeably used to describe threesome, foursome, and any other group sex activity. There are some, including this author, who prefer not to use this term since it implies that any form of group sex activity involves infidelity and implies infidelity is agreeable in the relationship because it is negotiated. This author believes that as long as any group sex activity occurs within the boundaries the couple has agreed then no infidelity has occurred.
Off Premise / Off Premise Club:
A gathering / event where the opportunity to meet people who share similar interests in group sex but no sex at the premise occurs. These take various forms such as munches or regular meetings at the same place.
On Premise /On Premise Club:
A venue where group sex occurs, such as a swingers club.
Term used to describe a threesome that only occurs once with the invited third person
There are two parts to an open relationship a primary relationship that involves the couple who agrees to open their relationship and normally takes priority over any secondary relationship. Secondary relationship is a relationship whereby emotional attachment is formed with someone outside of the primary relationship. In addition an open relationship can take two forms whereby one remains monogamous and this is typically seen in a cuckolding situation or where both members of the couple form relationships with people outside of the relationship. In order for an open relationship to work and not destroy the primary relationship, it requires a lot of communication, negotiating, and boundaries.
Couple who do not have sex with someone outside of their relationship. However, depending on their definition of soft-swinging, soft-swinging maybe practiced while keeping the couple physically monogamous.
Can take on many forms and involve more than three people. However, when it regards threesomes it involves all three being equals in the relationship.
A married couple or a couple in a committed relationship.
Developing a physical and emotional attachment with another person for the purpose of having a sex that goes beyond having a one off or limited sexual encounter.
Process by which a couple reestablish their physical and emotional bonds that they shared prior to the threesome. This does not mean their bonds will be identical prior to the threesome. It does mean the bonds will be reestablished but may be different after the threesome.
Having the same understanding. Secondary Relationship: A term used to describe a sexual relationship that is formed outside of the primary relationship.
Has three definitions: societal, dictionary, and lifestyle. Society’s definition is used as a derogatory term to mean a woman who is ‘easy.’ The dictionary definition implies a woman who has multiple partners and / or multiple relationships at the same time, akin to a threesome, cuckold, menage de trios, or open relationship. Whereas the lifestyle definition builds on the dictionary definition. It used as an empowering term describing a woman who is not bound by society’s limitation and chooses multiple partner’s at the same time. I have seen it used, on occasion, to describe a woman who has a threesome but more of the time I have seen it used in the context of a woman who cuckold’s her boyfriend / husband.
A male is invited to interact with the couple but intercourse does not occur with the invited male. This implies if a m-f couples invites a female for a fmf threesome where the male watches soft-swinging is not occurring.
Another term for soft-swinging.
A position used in a two male threesome whereby one male penetrates the female’s vagina while the woman performs oral sex or masturbates the other male.
1) BDSM – it is someone who is willing to submit themselves to the direction of another. Failure to comply with the direction given usually results in some form of punishment. 2) Threesome – Someone who is willing to take direction or is less likely to initiate sex. 3) Cuckolding / Cuckqueaning – the individual who remains monogamous while their partner has sex with someone outside of the relationship. Typically sex is either limited or withheld from the submissive individual in order to increase arousal. Sometimes chastity devices are used in order to prevent the submissive individual from masturbating due to their increased arousal.
A term that is applied to various ‘group sex’ activities, including threesomes and it is a term with various definitions. On this site, swinging means a lifestyle choice in which a couple or a single person seeks out threesomes.
Single female that is interested in having threesome. The term unicorn is used due to the fact they are rare, like a unicorn.
Someone who watches other people have sex. Typically this is seen in soft-swinging and fmf situations where the male watches.
Wife swapping / wife sharing:
In the context of a threesome this is typically this is done between two m-f couples whereby the f male of one couple joins the other couple for a threesome and typically the other reciprocates. The purpose, allows each couple to have a fmf threesome without having to look for the elusive unicorn. Alternatively this is done whereby one male takes on a voyeur role watching his female partner having sex with another couple.
- Questions regarding overcoming resistance to threesome (3somes.wordpress.com)
- How not to offend the third person (3somes.wordpress.com)
- Having the initial discussion (3somes.wordpress.com)
- Overcoming resistance to the idea of a threesome (3somes.wordpress.com)
- FAQs about threesomes for couples – Part 2 (3somes.wordpress.com)
- OP-ED: Essential characteristics that every couple considering a threesome should have (3somes.wordpress.com)
- Writing an ad – Advice for single males (3somes.wordpress.com)
- What are People’s Perceptions of Open Relationships? (psychologytoday.com)
- Frequently Asked questions about choosing a third person for a threesome (3somes.wordpress.com)
- Are ‘Open’ Relationships Also More Open to Communication, Trust? (atlantablackstar.com)
42 thoughts on “Threesome Terminology”
Pingback: Writing an ad – Advice for single males « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: An introduction to the different types of threesomes « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: My wife’s cuckold adventure « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: FAQs – Finding a third person « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Introducing the idea of having a threesome « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Why some couples choose cuckolding? « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: My threesome adventure – a retrospective review « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Defining Cheating: A bricking in building a successful threesome « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: How not to offend the third person « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Meeting Victor « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: OP-ED: Essential characteristics that every couple considering a threesome should have « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Overcoming resistance to the idea of a threesome « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Questions regarding overcoming resistance to threesome « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: A comprehensive discussion of cheating and threesomes « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Submitting to my neighbor: A story of a hot wife « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: The Basics: Planning a Threesome « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Transitioning through the phases of a threesome « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Common places to have a threesome « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Is choosing an ex for a threesome a good idea? « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: The problems of trying to use a threesome to add spice to a relationship « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Why some couples choose full threesomes « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: FAQs about cuckolding « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Where do negative feelings after a threesome come from & how to address them « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Perils of using a friend or co-worker for a threesome « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Couple’s Cuckolding and the ‘what’ scenario « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Defining threesome, swinging, and open relationship « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: A must see movie about swinging « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: FAQs regarding soft-swinging « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Understanding the basic difference between wife swapping and threesome « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: What does relationship mean in a threesome? | Threesomes and variations
Pingback: How do you know if someone is interested? | Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Threesome Foursome: Adding Spice to an erotic experience by trying an unique position | Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Cuckolding statistics | Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Remorse: How to get over it and start living again | Threesomes and variations
Pingback: 10 things you should know about having a threesome but were afraid to ask | Threesomes and variations
Pingback: 10 things you should know about cuckolding but were afraid to ask | Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Cuckolding Beginners Guide: After Yes Now What? | Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Cuckolding Beginners Guide: enjoying sloppy seconds | Threesomes and variations
Pingback: First time? 10 things I should I expect | Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Cuckolding is it right for me? | Threesomes and variations