How do you know if the interested third person is potentially a good fit?
After taking time to search for the right fit a potential ‘playmate’ is found. How do you know if they a good choice?
In an mfm threesome situation the control resides with the couple. Since the couple has a choice men they can invite and by communicating with one does not mean they have rejected the others. However, the dynamic of a fmf is different since much fewer single women are interested in having a threesome with a couple and the lack of available women gives an interested single woman more power with the couple, thereby being on an equal relationship with them.
Unfortunately this can leave the single male feeling powerless since he knows they couple has many choices of available males and if he asks questions then he may push them away. Unlike her male counterpart, asking questions for the single woman ensures the couple is a right fit for her. Finally for the couple, asking questions helps to make the third person at ease and helps to improve the communication, thereby reducing the chance something is misunderstood. Also, it helps the couple to decide if the invited third person is a right fit for them.
Below is a list of possible questions to ask the third person. The list is not an exhaustive list since the list cannot anticipate every possible response and many questions a that need to be asked are based on the specifics of the planned threesome. Instead this list is meant to guide the couple regarding questions to ask the potential third person The questions are listed in way to facilitate a conversation with the third person but the order is dependent on the dynamics of the situation.
If you do use all or any of them, this author would like some feedback regarding their usefulness in order to make the necessary changes to them. Also, if any of the questions are not clear or you feel more needs to be added the please let this author know.
1) What type of work do you do?
2) Have you previously participated in a threesome? If ‘yes’ then consider a few follow-up questions:
a) What type of threesome?
b) Was it a positive experience for you?
c) If you could choose one negative aspect of it what was it?
d) If it is a male for mfm they you may want to ask, have you had any male on male sex, including oral sex?
3) What are you looking to get from having a threesome?
4) Do you practice safe-sex?
5) Are you currently in a relationship? If ‘yes’ then consider a few follow-up questions:
a) Does your partner know you are looking for a threesome with a couple? If ‘yes’:
1) Can we meet them?
2) Are the two of you wanting a foursome, with us, at a later date?
3) Are the two of you looking for us to reciprocate, whereby one of us joins you for a threesome?
b) How does / will having a threesome impact your relationship?
6) What are your boundaries?
a) What do you like?
b) What do you not like?
c) If this is a fmf threesome then you may want to ask, do you want my partner to participate?
7) What is your preferred position to have sex?
8) Other than alcohol or drugs, what can we do to help you to relax?
9) What is your expectation of us?
10) Any questions for us?