Single woman seeking a threesome: risks and benefits


IMG_8628 updatedIntroduction

Due to family, work, and other commitments, I have been slow in responding to a request. The reader’s inquiry is about a single woman who are interested in having a threesome. To begin with finding a single woman interested in a threesome is not easy due to, from my experience, a woman is interested in the idea after being in a stable, secure, and loving relationship. Even if you can find a woman interested in having a threesome, I believe, the ratio is about 100 men interested in a threesome for every one woman that is interested.

Selection

For some it may sound that a single bisexual woman might be ideal and in my opinion, this is probably rarely the case since  a bisexual woman having a threesome with a heterosexual couple is not interrelated. In my opinion, a woman interested in a threesome would probably be either a single professional woman who does not have the time for a relationship or a woman in some variation of an open relationship.

Where to look

I normally do not advocate asking friends, co-workers, business associates, or acquaintances due to the risk involved. There are some good free resources in the UK that provide limited access for those living in the UK and to a lesser extent Europe. The US has probably two good free sites for threesomes. This raises the question about searching online ad sites and newspapers. In my opinion, I would be cautious about using ad sites that charge. If you join a site that charges take advantage of any free trials that they offer before committing. Joining a site a financially possible but if you join several sites then the cost can become prohibitive very quickly. My advice is to read through the Terms of Service, understand how you will be charged, and ensure there is enough profiles for your area.

This raises the question of fake profiles and how to know if it is fake. The best approach is to be cavalier in your approach, which means do not pin your hopes to one profile waiting for a reply or not contact others because you feel a commitment to someone. Also it means keep your perspective and do not get sidetracked. Remember the site you are on is finding a woman for a threesome, which means you are not there to make friends or to support causes. Instead contact many, reply to all inquiries, and do not allow yourself to become attached.

A third place you can try is a swinger’s club but be forewarn at least half of the couples there are at the club for the same reason as you. If a single woman does show up then you will be competing with them for her. Finally a fourth place to try is some for of social. These tend to be off-premise, no sex occurring, events and tend to be an event where like minded people meet. This can get you some insight of who might be interested in a threesome and where are the best places to look in your area.

Meeting and Threesome

All of us unique and it is not possible to have a generic approach. Nonetheless it is important to remember, if you do have a meeting with a woman for a threesome there is probably a 1,000 couples she could have agreed to meet. In many ways it is different than having a threesome with a male and if not handled correctly it can lead to her becoming a third wheel in your relationship.  Also it means you will have to keep her interest and go at her pace.

At some point the topic of sex will come up. This means at least two separate conversations must occur. First conversation must occur between the couple discussing their boundaries including the limits of involvement with the other woman and how the attention is to be apportioned. Second conversation, that occurs after the first, regards how the threesome will operate and the requirements of the invited woman.

Up to this point all three have been interacting socially in a non-sexual way. As the threesome approaches it is likely feelings will be brought up and insecurities. There is one school of thought on this that states the invited woman should be more submissive than the woman in the relationship. I do not believe this is always necessary but I do believe communication along with trust must exist for the threesome to work.

Conclusion

Web sites, swingers clubs, and socials all offer opportunities to meet potential partners. However, it is important to think about safety and not get too attached since the search is about finding a compatible partner. As you search the reality becomes searching for a woman that is interested in a threesome is not easy and it can take a long time of searching and during this time it is important to have a clear understanding with your partner about the limits of the encounter. Once you find a potential partner  approaching the threesome is not like having a threesome with two males. Instead it is a more egalitarian situation with her having power due to the limited supply of single women interested in having a threesome and the potential risk of her become attached, if it is not handled correctly. With patience, communication, and a clear expectation of boundaries having a two woman threesome can be quite enjoyable.

9 thoughts on “Single woman seeking a threesome: risks and benefits

  1. I totally understand the difficulty in finding a single woman willing to engage in a threesome with another established couple. I have been looking for a woman for me and my husband, with limited success. The first one was a married woman looking for sex, as her husband isn’t able to fulfill her sexual desires. He has given her permission to play with us, even though we haven’t met him.

    The second woman we found was more interested in me than in my husband. She is married but has lesbian/polyamorous tendencies. She felt no chemistry with my hubby. She and I played together once, with his consent, but it wasn’t that great, frankly. She wanted more of an emotional relationship with me, which didn’t interest me.

    Threesomes are fun for the woman too – when the chemistry is there for ALL three.

    Great post.

    • Hi shalynne,

      Thank you for your reply, I believe your reply highlights many issue that is overlooked when a couple considers looking for a woman to join them for a threesome and I will highlight a few them here.

      First, I believe you rightfully highlight a woman who states she is [bisexual] / lesbian / polyamorous may not have an equal interest in the both and instead she may have a preference for one member of the couple. This can lead to issue issues, especially if the couple chose to pursue a bisexual woman because they felt she would be equally interested in the both of them whereas if they pursued a male he would be either interested in her if he was heterosexual or him if second male was bisexual. For those considering playing with a second woman, I believe, they need to consider this ‘what if’ scenario.

      Second your thoughtful reply highlights the impact the lack of chemistry, as I tend to call it attraction, can influence a threesome. From reading your reply your tone suggests since she was not interested in your husband that led you not to enjoy the threesome as much and what could have been a very erotic experience was reduced an experience that enjoyable though nothing spectacular? Had she expressed an interest in your husband then I suspect the experience could have been much more enjoyable?

      Third your reply implies the quandary a two woman threesome can bring and the power the second woman has in a threesome situation. The quandary in this situation, if you say ‘no’ then it may be a long time before finding another woman that is interested and since you have found one that is interested, to some extent, in both of you then it is better to ‘play’ with her. In regards to the power she has, her interest was in you instead of your husband and this led the both of you to agree to have you play with her without your husband participating?

      Finally your reply shows that in both cases the woman interested in the threesome was married. This tends to support the theory finding an interested woman in a threesome most likely means finding one that is in a relationship whereby the partner is willing to share. Unfortunately if not handled correctly can lead to a lot of drama and requires flexibility due to the potential her schedule may change.

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