20 tweeters to follow


twitter listI find I can get news faster on twitter than watching television and I can get it from various sources that present the same story from a different angle. Also I am find a lot of my daily information comes from twitter.

After a while, interest in twitter starts to wain because the information has the feel of a dependable worn shoe. The type of shoe for running outside in the rain to get the mail or buying a quart of milk for the morning cup of coffee at the corner shop after discovering the milk in the fridge has chunks.It is great because it is dependable but deep down it is understood more is needed.

We all hit a time where we are looking for someone new to follow on twitter. Sometimes it is to increase followers or learn something new. I find I can get news faster on twitter than watching television and I am find a lot of my daily information comes from twitter.

Nonetheless, from time to time, we all need a bit of a help in finding new, relevant, and interesting material. Below is a small list to get you started on your search. The list covers a variety of active tweeters on twitter with the vast majority covering erotica, threesomes, and cuckolding.

As a result many of them are nsfw (not suitable for work and meant for over 18). This means some of their content in their tweets may be suitable for work. However they may contain links, videos, or pictures that may be questionable for work.  In my opinion @JohnnyLavish1, @ErikaFooxBooks, and @FredChukkawakka are probably the only three that are possibly suitable for work.

Please check back periodically as the list may be expanded or updated. If you feel I have missed a tweeter please let me know by completing the below contact form.

  1. @ErikaFoxxBooks
  2. @VirtuousPervert
  3. @JohnnyLavish1
  4. @swingerswebsite
  5. @thecuckplace
  6. @splooshcpl
  7. @AskAprilcom
  8. @hotwives
  9. @mywifescuckold
  10. @Bmore_horny
  11. @thecuckoldsite
  12. @Cosmopolitan
  13. @paigen
  14. @AdultMatchMaker
  15. @Dalecuck
  16. @YoungCouple
  17. @FredChukkawakka

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Why couples choose cuckolding?

Characteristics of successful couples

Easing into cuckolding

Cuckolding web sites

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First time? 10 things I should I expect


threesome experienceFirst time drawing near?

Having your first threesome is a lot like riding a bike for the first time without training wheels or your first kiss. It is is a lasting experience that will create a lasting impression. So, the question that is probably lurking, what should I expect from my first threesome?

Unlike twenty years ago or even a few years ago having a threesome is more accepted. However a lot of unbiased information does not exist. Too often talk shows, news, and even friends present a myopic image of the experience. There are a lot of reasons as to why this occurs, such as money, a point to be made, or to attract viewers. Whatever the reason, the experience gets missed in favor of glamorizing it.

1) Reality of having a threesome or cuckold is not like porn, television, or the movies.

Having a threesome experience or cuckold experience involves real people and real feelings with real consequences. Once you begin the process of exploring the idea your relationship will forever change. Expect to feel a variety of emotions, thoughts and feelings over a period of time. It is easy to react to them but do not. Allow a significant amount of time to pass and talk about your feelings before making any decision that may have long reaching consequences. Remember this reality and there is no magical way to reverse time to a point before having the experience.

2) Performance anxiety happens

Expectations can be built up  leading to stress that can lead to performance related issues. Performance anxiety shows up in many different ways:

Men:

  • In ability to become erect or maintain an erection
  • Premature ejaculation
  • Hesitation or reluctance
  • Nervousness, anxiety, withdrawing, or emotional

Women:

  • Lack of response
  • Unable to lubricate or maintain being wet
  • Emotional and / or withdrawing

Best way to minimize the effect of performance related issues is to limit expectations, keep realistic expectations, and communicate about issues as they occur.

3) Change

Everyday we learn something new, we grow from our experience and it is foolish to believe we do not change. By having a threesome, you will be introducing a lot of change to the relationship in a very short amount of time. Some change will occur very rapid. Changes that are likely to occur include:

  • As a couple the way you communicate
  • Attitude towards each other
  • How you view and relate to your spouse / partner
  • Beliefs towards relationships, marriage, and life
  • Feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

It is important to remember wanting a threesome or cuckold is a life changing experience that will have far-reaching effects. Therefore, it is important to be cautious and to remember your spouse / partner are also going through a similar experience even though they may not be showing the behaviors.

4) Different Starting and ending points

Having a threesome in some ways is like a sprint. Everyone starts at difference places but ends at the point. In a journey to have a threesome, everyone begins their journey with preconceived ideas based on beliefs and experiences. Once the journey begins and the idea of swinging is explored the idea becomes more tangible. This can lead to changes whereby the individual who initially brought-up the idea may become more calculating because the idea is no longer pure fantasy and an element of reality is entering. Likewise someone who may be reluctant and starts understanding the possibilities may become eager. It is therefore possible each person who begins this journey may find they undergo a transformation.

5) The third person

Swinging can have a far reaching effect on the individual and the relationship. Choosing the right third person is paramount in ensuring continuity, before and after the experience, and preserving the relationship. Also choosing the right third person can enhance the experience and make it a very caring experiencing

So, how do you find the right third person? The is a temptation, when starting out, to choose a friend or a co-worker. On the surface the choice appears logical. However choosing someone well known brings its own set of issues. Whilst it is impossible to speculate on every possible scenario, one thing is clear sometimes choosing someone that is unknown can be a better choice.

There is no guarantee any route you choose to find a third person will work. The best route, I believe, is method that uses all of the tools available to you. This includes using online sites asking questions and meeting the individual before any activity happens. It does not have to be a several month process of asking in depth questions and developing a close friendship. Instead it can be relatively brief to develop trust and feel confident the third person has your best interest at heart.

6) Nothing can be prepare you for the night

The day finally arrives. A mixture of feelings happen. Anxiety, fear, and the elation only to find the need to remain calm. Then a few hours before meeting the third person trying on several pieces of clothing happens and getting your hair just right. She looks beautiful and you begin looking at it as a night that will be remembered.

After a bit of socializing the discussion turns to sex. At first a few jokes get made, then the discussion becomes a bit more serious before discovering you have reached the point of no return. Everybody heads to the bedroom she undresses before laying on the bed. Soon everyone is naked and for a few minutes it is a very erotic experience.

Soon kissing, touching, and intimacy begins. All of the discussion and preparation culminates into this experience. There is a feeling of surrealism that fills the room. At first you soak in the experience but soon your beliefs begin to become challenged. It is almost as though something has overtaken your body. Your responses feel as though it is someone else in control. In some ways it is liberating because this is a feeling that has never been experienced and other ways it is frightening since it is easy to lose control.

Soon he enters your wife and a flood of emotions hit. Now there is no turning back and your relationship has forever been changed. She lays there, appearing to enjoy it. Her reaction makes you frightened and shatters everything you know of her.

7) Did it happen?

Having a threesome means accepting change will occur. After the threesome expect a lot of change to happen. Expect as the thrill wears off that there may be feelings of mourning, anger, and feelings of distance. This is normal. A lot has happened prior, during, and after the threesome. Now it is time for your mind to work through all of it.

During this time it is important to discuss feelings and the experience. This means do not shut your spouse out but use them as a resource. Having a threesome can be a powerful force that brings couples together if they are willing to work together instead of driving them away.

8) We will have another threesome?

It is good that you consider the idea and think about your experience. Most couples who have threesomes do not live a threesome lifestyle. Instead they may have an occasional, maybe a few in their relationship, and maybe they will only have one. The answer to that question depends on time and on the experience.

9) No one will know

After having a threesome it is possible to feel that everyone knows your secret. Most likely the only ones who know are the third person, your spouse, and you. It is unlikely others will know unless you were in public, you are well known, or you are upfront about having threesomes. In most situations, people are too afraid to ask or by ‘outting‘ they are also telling on themselves. This means in many circumstances no one will know unless you tell them.

10) Long-term implications

It is impossible to know the outcome when you begin your journey. If you approach having a threesome with love, trust, and caring for the participants then it is realistic to expect a positive outcome. Even if the initial experience is bad, in time, you may find the experience was beneficial or positive. Regardless of your initial feelings a threesome that has gone will can increase happiness, satisfaction, and communication in a relationship.

Other Articles of Interest:

10 Questions about Threesomes you were afraid to ask

Easing into a threesome

Threesome planning

Suggesting a threesome, what does it mean?

How to suggest a threesome

Threesome Terminology

Watching my wife having sex with someone else

Threesome positions

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10 things you should know about having a threesome but were afraid to ask


20130714_173035-1Introduction

Over the last few years I have seen progress being made regarding the acceptance of threesomes but we still have a long ways to go before it is accepted as mainstream. There are still a lot of couples who approach having a threesome with very little knowledge and not sure what is involved. Below are a few questions regarding threesomes and over the coming weeks I plan to add more to it.

1) They show interest in having a threesome in the bedroom, does it mean they will agree to have a threesome?

No. Saying you want a threesome during foreplay, during sex, or immediately afterwards is no indication of there interest. Why?

From the start of foreplay our resistance to suggestions lowers because of the state of arousal and the closeness we feel to our partner. As arousal increases resistance further decreases and using of fantasies to further increase arousal continues until climax. After climaxing there is a period time the euphoria from sex continues and this, I believe, allows bonding to occur.

Once sex ends we continue with our daily lives and face the challenges it presents to us. Essentially when interest in having a threesome is expressed it about the fantasy not reality.

2) They have said they will agree to a mfm threesome if I agree to a fmf threesome. Should I agree?

No. Quid-pro-quo, sometimes referred to as ‘something for something’ is a risky situation that requires a lot of trust and very detailed knowledge of your partner. A downfall of this type of agreement occurs after the first threesome and the other does not want to have another threesome. Many times this leads to hurt feelings and conflict in the relationship because there is a feeling of violation of a trust that exists.

A better solution is reaching an agreement on having a threesome then after the first threesome experience evaluating it to determine if it is possible to have another. If it is possible to have another threesome then discuss needs and desires.

3) Should I find someone and surprise them with a threesome?

Again the answer is no. Surprise threesomes rarely work and in most cases they can be quite embarrassing because cues were misread. Instead obtain your partner’s / spouse’s agreement about searching for a threesome for them on your own.

4) They have said no to a threesome. What Should I do?

If someone says no to you, what do you do? In most cases we either ask for feedback or forget about it. Asking for a threesome is the same. If you decide it is not worth pursuing then that is a choice. However, if you ask for feedback there is a few reasons why and sometimes your spouse / partner may not share it. A few of the reasons might include:

  • Wrong approach used
  • Goes against their beliefs
  • Timing was wrong
  • Misread cues from your partner
  • They may be open to the idea but your suggestion was no in line with what they were expecting / wanting
  • It is something they need to consider
  • Not enough trust due to length of relationship or ongoing relationship issues
  • Underlining relationship issues
  • View it as cheating
  • Afraid to be with someone else because of their limited sexual experiences

Should you choose to ask for feedback it will help you gauge the next step and it will help with communication in the relationship. If a conversation about having a threesome can begin then it is possible that sometime in the future it might occur.

5) How Can I convince them to have a threesome?

There are web sites that claim you convince your spouse / partner to have a threesome but I believe there is no method that will convince them. At the heart of the matter, they must want to have a threesome and if they firmly oppose having a threesome then it is unlikely they will ever agree to have one.

The one thing that you have is time. Time changes everything. Initially may be resistant to the idea but over time their resistance softens. Another weapon in your arsenal is behavior. Relationship security can be a big hurdle for a threesome. Changing they way you relate to your partner and making time for them may be all that is needed. This means convincing them is more about being supportive and providing a channel for discussion than employing a technique to magically get them to agree.

6) They have said yes to the having a threesome, what is our next step?

There are two steps that need to occur almost simultaneously. First step is setting boundaries, which is discussed later in this article. Second is finding the third person. Once discussion on boundaries begins finding the third person should occur. Finding the third person should be a joint effort because it will require each of you agreeing to the choice. How the searching is done is your decision. Once you find them it is important to do some screening and asking them questions. Finally during this time it is important to review boundaries, discuss feelings, and discuss comfort level to ensure no issues that can hurt the relationship arise.

7) Do we need boundaries?

Yes. Boundaries build trust that allows the threesome to occur. They reduce the chance hurt feelings or arguments arise. Some will say they do not need boundaries because they want their partner to choose what they want to experience only to find later they did not consider ‘X’ will happen. Boundaries do not need to be complex and they do not need to be detailed. Instead can be a few rules that everyone has the same understanding that define the threesome.

There are three types of boundaries that need discussing. First, relationship boundaries. Relationship boundaries relate to how the relationship will handle having a threesome. In my situation our relationship boundary regards not using the experience against the other. Meaning, it is a mutual decision that we both make and will not blame the other.

Second type of boundary are threesome boundaries. These will be boundaries that relate to the threesome and will change a In the beginning they should be basic and be specific. While avoiding having too many or boundaries that conflict.

Third type of boundary are implied boundaries. Implied related to expectations, acceptable acts, and acts in the threesome that are off limits. They are implied because it will impossible to go through every possible scenario and impossible to comprehend every possible scenario. Therefore assumptions must be made and if there is going to be an argument regarding boundaries then there is a good chance this will be the type of boundary causing the conflict.

8) How do we find someone that is interested?

Finding a woman interested in a threesome can be a bit challenging, especially if you are looking for a single straight female. However if you are looking for a male the time needed is much shorter. With the boom in mobile and cellular phones finding someone for a threesome is becoming easier. There are applications for your phone and tablet. Websites that focus on threesomes, foursomes, and dating. Also there are swingers clubs, munches, and other similar type of activities that occur in public. Finally if you are open to the experience sometimes finding someone can occur at the most unlikely places.

9) What is it like watching them having sex?

The two of you can discuss feelings, signal for discomfort, and how it might impact the both of you; however until it happens no one will have an idea. For some it is the most erotic experience. Watching someone else pleasing their partner as they participate. Others it is quite possibly the worst experience of their life. Most likely it will fall somewhere in between the two extremes.

If the two of you communicate and have a good relationship then it is reasonable to expect some fear along with a lot of excitement. Should this be your first experience then you may have issues with being comfortable communicating in all situations. This may mean letting the invited person know how they can help increase your enjoyment may be difficult thereby not being able to get the most from the experience.

10) Can you enjoy sloppy seconds in a threesome?

Yes. If you are participating and you all the invited male to have sex with your wife / girlfriend first. Be aware she might be a bit uncomfortable and may want you to only to have sex with her. Talk with her before the threesome. Then watch her reaction and listen for cues regarding her comfort level.

Other articles of interest

Easing into Cuckolding or Swinging

How to plan and manage a threesome using a checklist

Having the initial discussion

Moving beyond the initial conversation

Using quid-pro-quo as a negotiating position for a threesome

Questions for the third person

Threesome stages

Threesome Terminology

Defining Cheating

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Cuckolding Beginners Guide: enjoying sloppy seconds


Sloppy SecondsIntroduction

The idea ‘sloppy seconds’ can be enjoyed is ludicrous. How can a physical sign of ‘infidelity’ be erotic?  For a moment, do not think about what it symbolizes. Instead think about, what does ‘sloppy seconds’ mean to you? Think about the image it creates. Is it an erotic scene or an image that provokes disgust? Diving deeper into the scene can you smell anything? Does the image has a musky, sweaty, or another type of smell associated it with it? Finally how does the idea make you feel?

Getting into the mindset

Why ‘sloppy seconds’ are intimidating

Enjoying ‘sloppy seconds’ starts with the right mindset. ‘Sloppy seconds’ for many can be quite intimidating. At its core ‘sloppy seconds’ represent a partner that has had sex with someone else outside of their relationship. The idea of someone having sex outside of the relationship can elicit strong feelings. When those feelings are intensified by engaging the senses when seeing a sign of ‘the act’ it can become too much.

How can ‘sloppy seconds’ provoke such strong feelings? It symbolizes the sexual attractiveness of your partner, it says your partner can enjoy having sex outside of the relationship with someone else, and it is a reminder you were not the one who pleasured them this time. It can create a hollow feeling that creates an emotional distance from your partner and is a reminder of how fragile your relationship is. So, how can such an act be enjoyed?

View it as a gift not a sign

I remember my first experience with ‘sloppy seconds’ it was beautiful, seeing cum dripping out of her pussy and the smell of sex filling the room. Also it was intimidating because it was a sign that someone else slept with my wife. The combination of sight, smell, and imagery produced a very emotional experience for me.

It was not until sometime later when I began looking back that I began to understand it is not about finding enjoyment from the act of ‘unfaithfulness’ and it is not about finding joy from the remains of an act that did not involve you. She could easily bathe and was away all evidence of her lustful encounter. Instead she is choosing to share it with me.

I soon understood enjoying ‘sloppy seconds,’ comes from inside by being able to see ‘sloppy seconds,’ as an interactive gift that is meant to be enjoyed. ‘Sloppy seconds,’ symbolizes the fulfillment of a fantasy that is meant for sharing and it gives a chance to relive your hot wife’s experience. Furthermore it symbolizes her love for you because she is willing to share something that intimate and allowing you to enjoy it.

Putting aside the fear to enjoy

As I have already said ‘sloppy seconds’ be intimidating but if it is seen as as a gift then it can be quite enjoyable. Enjoying ‘sloppy seconds’ requires being able to connect with you partner on an emotional level and physical level. The first step take time to look, explore, and experience it. Finger her, what does it feel like? What smells do you notice? Allow yourself to become a part of that moment. Next, if you are comfortable, is having your partner regale you with how it happened. Listen to what is being said, what images are now going through your mind as you explore their body? Are you able to connect with the experience and feel are you now a part of it?

Finally

Enjoying ‘sloppy seconds’ means putting aside those things that upset you in favor of viewing the beauty of the gift you are about to receive and finding a way to connect with the experience. It is about seeing the totality of the experience, the confirmation of love, and reaffirming your relationship. Also it is about the enjoying the physical beauty of ‘sloppy seconds’ through exploration. Therefore enjoying ‘sloppy seconds,’ is about being confident in yourself, loving the person you are with, and the willingness to enjoy the experience. If you can do this then you are on your way to enjoy ‘sloppy seconds.’

Other Articles of Interest

Cuckolding Beginners Guide for Her: Surviving the First Date

Cuckolding Beginners Guide for Him: Surviving the First Date

Easing into Cuckolding or Threesome

8 Cuckolding Secrets Every Couple Should Know

Watching My Wife Having Sex with Another Man

Cuckolding and the Power Sloppy Seconds

Debunking Cuckold Myths

Threesome Terminology

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Easing into cuckolding or a threesome


easing into cuckolding and swingingIntroduction

The decision is reached to finally take ‘the plunge,’ and all is left is finding the right person. A few ideas get discussed about possible people to invite and the discussion includes using an ad on a web site. After taking time to search someone who appears to be a good match is found and the reality of having sex with someone outside of the relationship finally becomes real. Now hundreds of thoughts starting arising and confronting a new reality, one that was not thought of during the discussion, how do you ‘ease into’ having the experience?

Solution: Do what is comfortable

When it is not a good idea to have a cuckold or a threesome

‘Easing’ into a threesome or ‘easing’ into a cuckold indicates to me someone who does not know where their comfort level lies. It can also be a warning that boundaries have not been discussed or they were not in alignment with personal beliefs. At worst, it can be a sign that pressure or coercion is being used to gain agreement for a threesome indicating it the planned experience can cause harm.

Listening to ‘the voice’ for direction of ‘easing into’ a threesome or a cuckold

All of us has a ‘little voice in our head’ that tells us:  what is comfortable, the ‘voice’ tells us when we are leaving our comfort zone, and it tells us when we are outside of our level of comfort. Granted in a cuckolding and threesome situation there are two other people; however nothing happens unless you agree to it. This means, there is no reason why ‘the voice’ needs to be muted when it comes to a threesome or a cuckold. It also means, there is no reason as to why ‘the voice’ cannot act as a guide and act as an indicator of where your comfort level exists and use that indicator for establishing boundaries that build a level of trust.

Alternative solution: ‘dipping your toes in the shallow end’

If using your senses to help you guide you about where your comfort level exists and then communicating it does not work, another solution exists. This solution involves taking small steps and once a level of comfort is establish trying something more involved. Each of us has our own definition of a small step and it is not easy to define. Nonetheless, in the context of a threesome or cuckold, it tends to mean starting with a non-sexual activity then build.

Example 1: a fictitious example Mr. & Mrs. Jones

Mr Jones a 48 year old  accountant &  Mrs. Jones a 42 year old nurse agree to have a threesome. Mrs Jones has always enjoyed fantasies of a younger male having sex with her without Mr. Jones present. As a couple they discussed the idea and agreed to try it. As a part of their agreement they agree Mrs Jones will find a male and have sex with him without Mr Jones present. 

After agreeing they found a 38 year old male, Mark Smith but after  finding Mark Mrs. Jones begins having doubts and is unsure if she can go through with it. Mr & Mrs Jones discuss the issue. They discover their initial plan was too bold and scale it back. Instead of having it all happen at once, they agree Mrs. Jones will have a few ‘dates’ with Mark to see if she is ready for the experience.

Example 2: fictitious example George and Melissa

George and Melissa are a middle age couple who seek different ways to explore the boundaries of their relationship. Recently they have agreed to try a threesome with Paul. However, as the threesome approaches Melissa is finding she is unsure if she can go through with the planned threesome. As a result George and Melissa agree their first experience will be a soft-swinging experience and then afterwards they will evaluate the experience to see if the next encounter will be a full threesome.

Alternative Solution 2: KISS it

A good acronym to remember when planning your first threesome is KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid). Keeping a threesome or cuckold simple means setting realistic expectations and not viewing the experience as some type of marathon event. It also means, not pushing the boundaries and keeping the first experience simple thereby avoiding a lot of issues later. In a threesome an example of keeping it simple might be having each male having sex with the female instead of trying for ‘split roast’ or double penetration (dp).

When planning a threesome typically two mistakes are made. First mistake is not having boundaries and agreeing to allow anything to happen. Usually this is a bad idea because it does not provide a sense of security, it allows activities not considered to happen,  and it also opens the planned cuckold or threesome to conflict later. Second mistake is like being a child in a toy store and being overwhelmed with all of the choices. This can lead to planning a threesome that is outside of the comfort limit and make a participant uneasy.

Finally

Remember when planning your first threesome or cuckold by KISSing it will alleviate some of the stress associated with it. Also, by communicating it can help to plan a threesome or cuckold that is emotionally secure. There is nothing wrong with wanting to take a threesome or cuckolding experience slow. Just remember to communicate.

Other articles of interest

Secret #1: nice to have versus must have

Secret #2: separating emotional sex from physical sex

Secret #3: being confident

Secret #4: think marathon not sprint

Secret #5 – looking beyond quid pro quo

Secret #6 – it is the relationship

How to plan and manage a threesome using a checklist

Having the initial discussion

Moving beyond the initial conversation

8 cuckolding secrets every couple should know

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Defining Monogamy – A Barrier or a Natural Limit?


profileIntro

Imagine standing at the departure gate, at an airport, and looking out. On the other side of the glass are planes taxing for take-off to distant destinations and as plane take off other planes are landing. Further in the distance there are building, roads, and a line of traffic. Behind you are people all flying off to another destination sitting on chairs, shops, and walls. Monogamy is like being at an airport, surrounded with boundaries but within those boundaries are choices that can take you to other destinations.

Defining Monogamy

Why is defining monogamy important? Monogamy is society’s ideal definition of a relationship. It define how a couple should act, what is acceptable, and it place a limit on behavior. Essentially monogamy is the standard by which a relationship is judged. A couple that momentarily entertain the idea of breaching the ideal standard will face an internal struggle and if discovered breaking the ideal standard will most likely face scorning. It is is the brick wall that will keep a couple from trying a threesome and acting in a socially acceptable way.

What is monogamy? From a relationship perspective it is a consenting adult relationship that is exclusive. Using this definition a couple does not engage in having a relationship or sex with anyone else beside their chosen partner. Even with today’s enlightened sexual attitude towards gay marriage and televisions shows dealing with polygamy, monogamy is still the strongly preferred relationship structure.

History of Monogamy – a brief introduction

Defining monogamy from a historical perspective is much more difficult since monogamy is not a natural evolutionary choice to provide a diverse gene pool but a choice imposed by the Catholic Church in the Roman Empire. The definition of adultery prior the imposition of monogamy is very different than what we know today. Adultery was regarded a married man having sex with a married woman, who was not his wife. This meant a married man could be married and have sex with a woman who was single. The reason, during this era, marriage was seen as a property transaction between the husband and the wife’s father. It was not until suffrage and civil rights movement of the mid-20th century when women began achieving equal rights as men.

As for other nonmonogamous practices polygamy existed during biblical times but it was not until the rise of Catholicism in the Roman Empire and priests attempt to control sex did monogamy become the legal requirement for a couple. There is a suggestion that wife-swapping occurred in ancient Britain and continued into the modern era. Wife-swapping as it is known today started in WWII.

Therefore, when discussing monogamy it is important to determine if it relates to biblical times or modern times since the biblical times definition is incompatible with today’s definition because a married man was permitted to have sex outside of his marriage with an unmarried woman.  Whereas today’s definition is gender neutral forbidding any sex outside of the primary relationship.

Types of Monogamy

So, what makes a relationship exclusive? Putting aside the definition of monogamy. I believe there are two parts to exclusivity, emotional and physical.

Emotional

When monogamy is discussed, it is my feeling, monogamy is being equated with emotional monogamy and I believe, the presence of emotional monogamy separates having a threesome from other non monogamous activities such as cuckolding. Emotional monogamy is the emotional bond that binds and keeps a couple together. It is the unspoken bond that pulls a couple through a difficult time and it is the unspoken bond that motivate to provide for their partner’s well-being. It is the intangible bond that define a relationship.

Physical Monogamy

Unlike emotional monogamy physical monogamy is very easily seen and experienced, simply put physical monogamy is sex. If a couple participates in any threesome activity, with the possible exception of soft-swinging, then physical monogamy is lost.

Monogamy and threesomes – Overcoming the Monogamous hurdle

So, how does a couple get over the monogamy hurdle to have an enjoyable threesome? For any couple just beginning to explore this idea the hurdle can be epic because it involves going against everything that has been taught regarding a relationship and the expectation that goes with it. From my experience, it involves changing perspective. Instead of trying to be same as every other couple and believing the same thing as them, try being a leader. View monogamy as a choice, instead of viewing monogamy as an absolute must have for the relationship. By this I mean, think about 10% – 25% of couples that have tried having a threesome and are still together. It is important to remember having a threesome is not a mathematical formula of: loss of relationship = threesome – monogamy. Another possible way, if monogamy is important to the relationship is viewing having a threesome as the loss of physical monogamy while maintaining emotional monogamy. This means viewing the act as a physical act whereby feelings for your partner is maintained.

Conclusion

Monogamy and polygamy have been around since the dawn of ‘man.’ It was not until the rise of the Catholic Church in the Roman Empire that nonomongamy practices became shunned. Even during the time nonmonogamy fell out of favor it still survived being reborn during WWII. Whilst I do not believe monogamy is the right choice for every couple. Monogamy still remain a driving force in shaping a relationship. If couple wishes to try having a threesome but feels monogamy is an issue then there are two methods they can try. First is viewing monogamy as a choice instead of an absolute the other method is viewing having a threesome as a physical act where feelings for each other will remain in tact. In answer to the question, is monogamy a barrier? That is a question each couple will have to answer based on their situation. Whatever choice a couple will make the choice must be in their best interest.  

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A Look at Threesomes From the Ladies Perspective


While reading articles on Word Press today, I came across this hidden gem. It is very well written on threesomes. The only minor drawback, I believe, this article tries to cover too many uniquely separate topics in one article that shifts the article from ‘Looking at Threesomes from [a] Ladies Perspective’ to a general article about why people choose threesomes that includes basic advice on finding someone for a threesome.

In my honest opinion, this article would be better if the author covers each topic as a separate piece covering each topic in more detail. I believe this would be more beneficial to the reader and kept the subject on topic. Even though the author in my opinion, may have drifted off topic, it is still an excellent article that highlights the talent on Word Press. It is a great article that is well worth 5 minutes of your time to read.

A Look at Threesomes From the Ladies Perspective.

via A Look at Threesomes From the Ladies Perspective.