15 WordPress articles you may have missed during the week of 22 April 2014

Here is another installment of good WordPress articles that have been published over the last week that you may have missed.

In case you are wondering how I select the articles to list. I have read all of them list and feel there is a great quality about them. Great quality means the author has something useful to say that relates to the topics my followers enjoy reading.

Each article relates to sex, threesomes, or a similar topic such as relationships. Generally I tend to pick well written articles in English that are at least a few hundred words in length, ideally a minimum of 5oo words but I will pick an article that has less, and provides my followers with some insight on a subject that interests them.

This week it seems as though Kirstalla’s Blog along with Sex and Regex are batting 1000 with two very well written articles this week.

I hope you take a few minutes to read them. If you like them show the author your support by liking it and leaving a positive comment.

1) TMI Tuesday –  Arousing by Filled and Fooled

2) Threesome #2 by Sex and Regex

3) Threesome Insecurities Followup by Sex and Regex

4) Surprise Party by Sexxxy Milf

5) How We Opened Up and Beyond by Krystalla‘s Blog

6) Deep Desires by Krystalla’s Blog

7) The First Mistake by Swingertopoly

8) My First Date in 8 Years by Poly Pocket of Love

9) Ethical Non-monogamy: Can Sharing Lovers Work for You? by The Wilson Report

10) We Just had an Orgy by Camgirl Sex Stories

11) Pussy Eating Treasure by Janes Illustrated Erotic Sex Blog

12) Curious Mom from the Burbs by Janes illustrated Erotic Sex Blog

13) Finding the balance: Progressing the discussion of having a threesome without collapsing the discussion by 3somes and variations

14) Fantasizing about my Cheating Wife by Cuckold Confession

15) Three by All of my Filthy Little Secrets

 Last Week’s list

Week of 15 April 2015

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Finding the balance: Progressing the discussion of having a threesome without collapsing the discussion

Intro

Imagine for a moment having an amazing heart-to-heart conversation about having a threesome but no decision has been made about the next step. Maybe the conversation did not go as expected, a few months have elapsed, and it is time to ‘test the water.’ The challenge is finding the balance between discussing the idea and not causing a complete collapse of the idea.

Start with yourself

In previous articles the importance of understanding your needs and how you envision the threesome is discussed. This means doing some introspection, thinking about possible scenarios, and thinking about your needs. Also it requires thinking about the relationship, the risks you are willing to take, and how you may react. Finally it involves doing some research into the topic. Without having a vision of a possible threesome, revising it, and thinking about it it is nearly impossible to communicate it to your partner.

Having a history together

History regarding a threesome means being together long-enough where each person in the relationship understands how each other responds to a situation, having a communication style that is unique to the couple, and having been together long enough the couple has been able to work through a few difficult situations. Essentially, history means know what makes your significant other operate and knowing how they are likely to respond. Without understanding your ‘significant other’ the chance of catastrophic failure, when trying to progress the discussion of having a threesome, is high.

Confront Challenge

Academic textbooks are written on confronting and challenging; however for this article a brief explanation will be given. Confronting someone, sometimes referred to challenging, can provide an opportunity to persuade them by opening them up to another perspective by confronting / challenging the flaws in their belief.

Successfully challenging / confronting a belief requires a clear understanding of the direction you want to take with the discussion and enough knowledge about the topic any resistance can be met. The goal is not to start a fight to the death over having a threesome. Instead, if done correctly, the technique can be used in regular conversation and help progress the conversation by alleviating any outstanding fear / anxiety over the idea.

Time

Being human mean we change and being human mean we are not the same person we were yesterday. So what allows us to change? Our experiences, our challenges to our beliefs, and events in our lives. As a result, we learn and make the necessary changes. Regarding discussing a threesome, it can mean resistance to the idea has changed and there might be a willingness to discuss it.

So how much time is needed? My feeling if a relationship is new then at least two years before discussing the topic. This will give time to build the foundation of the relationship along with having an opportunity to work through any crisis and develop a sense of security.

Regarding how long the idea should be dropped before picking up the conversation again? There are some who feel if your ‘significant other’ says no to the idea then the topic is dead unless your ‘significant other’ bring up the idea. I disagree with it because I do not feel it is communication because a need is not getting met in the relationship. My feeling six months minimum but ideally a year. This will give your ‘significant other’ a change to think about the topic and a chance to ask any question they might have.

Relationship

Without feeling secure in the relationship  any discussion regarding having a threesome will fail. This means the first step in striking a balance require that security and trust are present.

Conclusion

Answering the question where does the limit exist for discussing a threesome when there is resistance to the idea or the direction is not clear? The answer is dependent on the situation and the couple. This means history together, the depth of feeling secure, and the ability to communicate are essential if the discussion is to progress. Without feeling this and without feeling confident about discussing the topic then it is likely this issue remain unresolved.

Other articles you might enjoy

https://3somes.wordpress.com/2014/02/22/family-message-about-sex-and-impact-on-wanting-a-threesome/

https://3somes.wordpress.com/2013/12/18/working-through-the-tough-times/

https://3somes.wordpress.com/2013/12/08/what-makes-a-couple-successful/

https://3somes.wordpress.com/2013/10/24/perception-and-cheating/

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10 Threesome WordPress Artilces you may have missed

Below are some great articles that you may have missed this week on Word Press and I hope you take the time to read some.

The Zen of Making a Threesome Liberating by Threesomes and Variations

The Power of Threesomes by Dancetinyfox

How to Have a MFM Threesome Without Being Bisexual by Threesomes and Variations

On Being a Part of a Triad by anitrafigueroa

Being in Control Doggy Position by janeseroticblog

Today She Admitted Her Preference for Her Lover  by hercuckhubby

My Out of Control Horny by Monkey in a Cage

The First Mistake by Swinger to Poly

Do You Fantasize about Your Wife Having Big Cock Sex by Love Small Penis

The Worst Sex Face Ever by The Shit Show That is My Life

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The Zen of making a threesome liberating

Imagine for a moment, an opportunity whereby you can do something sinfully forbidden, do it with no strings attached, and have sex with someone else with your partner present? How about an experience that involves some risk but might improve your relationship by bringing the two of you closer?  Experiencing such a decadent experience requires the ability to want something more for your relationship, the courage to take a calculated risk, and the willingness to ignore what society teaches about relationships. So how can a couple, completely enjoy a something that is sinfully forbidden and not feel guilty later?

The answer is understanding the power a threesome can hold. To begin with, lately, I have been writing about how a threesome can be liberating without providing much of an explanation. Liberating in this sense means being able to break free of the expectations society holds for a couple and not feeling guilty about it. Also, liberating means to power to feel closer to your spouse by seeking experiences that can bring your closer regardless of our previous teachings about relationships.

For her it means being an equal. Being an equal means ignoring the message about monogamy, what a good wife does, and being able to put aside her feelings for her husband in order to put her feelings first. Having a threesome can mean she is a true equal by being able to sleep with someone she chooses without feeling the guilt that society teaches from a very young age and she is able to it within the confines of a loving relationship.

If threesome is done right then the sexual fulfillment she feels is the result of her relationship with her husband and their dynamics that told her it was okay to feel sexual fulfillment from having a threesome.

For him it confirmation that his partner is sexually desirable and for some men, it can be fulfilling a basic need he has something that others want. By confirming this basic need, it can reinforce the need to keep her happy or risk losing her.

Another liberating aspect for him is making her happy. Through providing another sexual partner for his wife / girlfriend that pleases her, he increases her happiness thereby making him happy. His happiness, in this situation, derives from making his wife / girlfriend happy.

The liberating experience of a threesome can be said to be an experience that increases happiness and commitment to each other by putting aside the requirement that a couple remains monogamous, physically and emotionally, to each other. A couple that is willing to take a calculated risk by experiencing a threesome may find that payment on their investment pays off by bringing them closer.

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The Power of Three(somes)

When considering the idea of having a threesome we want an ironclad guarantee that it will be successful, enjoyable, and our relationship will remain intact. Many of us look at a threesome like buying a new car with a try before you buy or money back guarantee. Some may look at having a threesome like calling a psychic hotline, seeing the future and knowing the outcome. Without some type of guarantee or without knowing the results of the threesome it makes many of reluctant to try it.

Dancetinyfox offers something worth considering and something I have been recently discussing too, liberation. The idea of having a threesome because it offers an opportunity to experience a unique form of happiness. The opportunity to selflessly share your spouse with someone else then bask in the happiness that it may bring through a loving and supporting relationship.

This article, for some, can offer a route to relationship happiness and fulfillment.

 

The Power of Three(somes).

via The Power of Three(somes).

How to have a mfm without being bisexual

After receiving the ‘green light’, regarding exploring the idea of having a threesome, we quickly realize there are many hurdles that need negotiating before reaching the sought after threesome. Probably one of the earliest hurdles that presents itself is the threesome paradox:

Having a fmf means investing a lot of time with the most likely result being the second woman is bisexual. Thereby leaving out the male. However having a mfm may mean finding someone quicker but it will mean an assault on male-half of the couple’s sexuality?

One solution maybe  quid-pro-quo whereby the couple agrees to have a fmf and mfm only to find either they are unable to find a willing woman to join them or the man refuses going through with the planned mfm because it calls into question his sexuality. In this article, I will explore a guaranteed way of having a mfm without male-on-male contact

So, how do you have a mfm threesome without involving male-on-male contact? The first step is changing the mindset. Having a mfm is not about sexual identity. Speaking from personal experience, having a mfm threesome is about sharing and making his wife / girlfriend happy. Arguably, it is doing something for her and the relationship. For his wife / girlfriend and for them as a couple it is about liberation.

This means having a mfm is about an emotional experience whereby a couple can feel secure by trusting each other. By having a mfm threesome the man is giving permission to his wife / girlfriend to enjoy someone else, trusting her feelings will remain for him and she will not violate the boundaries they have set. Also, he is trust the male the invite will respect their boundaries, respect their relationship, and enjoy his spouse / girlfriend.

Final step is selecting the correct male. From my experience, I do not believe homophobic males make a good choice for a threesome. I believe they tend to view having a threesome as a way to have ‘no strings sex’ and can get obsessive about anything that might seem gay. This can create issues in the threesome especially between the males and finding someone who is comfortable with their sexuality is a better choice.

Also I believe there is no guaranteed way of finding a compatible male. Instead I believe the type of male in the situation is a male who respects boundaries, is outgoing, and someone who makes each of you feel comfortable. Then as all of you progress towards having a threesome, they are someone who looks to take cues and does not look to take advantage of any situation that may present itself.

Having a threesome whereby there is no male-on-male contact, involves having the correct mind-set. This involves each man being secure in their sexual identity and not seeing the threesome about challenging their sexual identity. Instead viewing it as an experience that can can be quite enjoyable by focusing on pleasing her. Therefore the guaranteed way to have a mfm threesome without challenging a man’s sexuality identity involves trust, communication, and a desire to share his wife / girlfriend with another man.

 

 

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On Being Part of a Triad

Quite a provocative article exposing the forbidden fruit of having multiple relationships. It is an article that I wholeheartedly endorse and I encourage you to read too.

On Being Part of a Triad.

via On Being Part of a Triad.

8 cuckolding secrets every new couple should know

Cuckolding Secrets

We see our wife or girlfriend flirting with another guy and it gets us thinking maybe letting her fuck him would be quite sensual. Maybe there is a ‘hot’ co-worker that you want to fuck but not sure how to approach your husband or spouse. Unfortunately there are very few objective sources of information on how to plan something like this. Instead we are left with imagery of a forbidden act that is rarely publicly discussed and now in this article, some of the mystery is removed by exposing some of the cuckolding secrets

1) Cuckolding can be liberating

Confidentially cuckolding is a very eye-opening experience. I remember my first experience with Brittany. We started talking about the idea and I was fine with it. Then once she went ahead with it, I remember the near crippling fear it created for me and the panic worrying about her. I remember pacing through the house  going through a lot of feelings very quickly. One moment I am frantic worrying about the relationship and what it will mean for us. Then the next moment I envisioning her having mind-blowing sex with the other guy and I remember how the image of her having sex with someone else aroused me. After coming home and sharing the experience with me, it was stunning how liberating the experience was for me.

2) Cuckolding is not like porn or web sites

Insiders know cuckolding is very different that how it gets portrayed. Cuckolding is a forbidden activity that is not mentioned on television, the movies, or in the print media. The vacuum that is created is filled by porn and cuckolding web sites that can paint a biased picture of experience. Reddit,I believe, does a good job at providing a balanced image of cuckolding but it does not provide a lot of information regarding relationships.

Having a cuckold will forever change your relationship. It can be the poison that plummets the relationship into turmoil before finally killing it. Alternatively it can be a sensual wonderful experience that transform the relationship for the better.

3) Cuckolding comes in many forms

I believe it is preposterous believing cuckolding is strictly a fetish or it is strictly a BDSM activity. Instead cuckolding is a very sensual experience that has many forms. It can be:

• An open-relationship whereby the man remains monogamous and the woman enter in a long-term emotional relationship with another man while preserving her primary relationship
• A BDSM activity where Domination (e.g. woman taking on another lover) and Submission (e.g. male agreeing and not having sex with her prior to her being with her male lover) is a part of the experience. There can be a lot of variation and depth to the experience. A lot depends on the boundary of the couple.
• One off experience whereby the woman has sex with another man with her partner’s full knowledge and consent.

4) Cuckolding is not about penis size

I believe it is arrogant to assume small penis size = cuckolding. There is a lot of research that contradicts this argument and I believe cuckolding is a lot deeper than a one-dimensional element, penis size.

5) Communication

Cuckolding is not a threesome and it is more similar to an open relationship where one person remain monogamous. As a result the need for clear concise communication is essential. If cuckolding is going to work then as a couple need communicating and working through any issue that may arise, such as jealousy, is vital.

6) Relationship must come first

Relationship coming first is one rule I quickly learned and practice. Cuckolding maybe the steamy and tawdry experience the two of you believe you want.  However, your relationship with your spouse must take priority. Losing sight of your relationship can put your relationship into a tailspin that smashes and delivers the deathblow to it. Finding a way to maintain the relationship while cuckolding will probably the biggest challenge.

7) Cuckolding can secure a relationship

Cuckolding, I do not believe, can fix a poor relationship and I believe, if couple chooses cuckolding as a way for fix their relationship then it is likely the relationship will take a pummeling resulting in the death of the relationship. Nonetheless I do believe, if a couple has a good relationship then it is possible the result will be a securer relationship.

8) Cuckolding is about trust, power, communication

When you peel back all the layers of cuckolding the core of cuckolding I believe cuckolding is about is trust, power, and communication.

a) Trust

Without trust cuckolding, I believe, is cheating. Cuckolding requires:

• boundaries are followed
• cuckolding relationship will not bleed into the relationship
• relationship will continue

This means level of trust must be there allowing each person feeling secure in their relationship with the other.

b) Power

This will not be a treatises on the discuss of power in the relationship.

In the United States the issue of relationship power is prevalent but oddly, it is not a big topic in Europe. Nonetheless relationship power means who drives the relationship in specific area (e.g. money) and there is a constant struggle for power.

Regarding cuckolding there is a transfer of power to the woman by the man. Arguably it can be said the male is the true holder of the power in a cuckolding relationship but for this article I will keep it simple by saying the woman has the power.

Why? He is agreeing to let her have sex with another of her choice for something in return. She then takes that power to decide who she will pick and how she will allow the other man to fuck her. Essentially he is submitting to her will. Depending on the dynamics of their relationship, power in the relationship may be very one-sided or it maybe more egalitarian.

c) Communication

Communication has already been addressed and I will not regurgitate it here. Instead I will state at is core cuckolding communication can be the drive that improves the relationship by forcing the couple to rethink how they communicate with each other. Cuckolding will fundamentally force changing their communication style in order to accommodate the additional demands cuckolding will place on them. If done right the changes made by a couple regarding communication maybe the behind the scenes reason they appear happy to other couples.

Finally – the secret is

Cuckolding is seen by many as a forbidden activity because of its mystery and potential risk to a relationship. Nonetheless there is nothing to fear if the secrets of this forbidden activity is understood. The key in having a thrilling cuckolding experience is communicating and respecting boundaries.  If you can respect each other and communicate then I can almost guarantee that you will have an enjoyable cuckolding experience.

 

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How to Know You are Ready for a Threesome – The Ultimate Guide

How to Know You are Ready

The conversations seem endless teetering on pointless. Topics have been covered and gone over to the point as though you are feelings as though you are in a holding pattern. Along the way there have been a few meltdowns and now the agony of wanting to know if a threesome will happen. Now a quandary, pushing the subject may mean the planned threesome fails or it could mean the mind-blowing threesome you always wanted may finally happen. The one topic that is holding you back is knowing if you, as a couple, ready for a threesome?

1) Check your emotions

When thinking about a threesome, how do you feel? Do you feel anger or jealousy when thinking about having a threesome? Maybe you envision a relationship Armageddon filled with conflict, depression, and eventual loss of your spouse because of the threesome? However if you are feel secure with the idea then it is a sign that you are ready.

2) Will your needs be met

We all have needs that make us feel secure and those needs cannot be discounted. Nonetheless in order for a threesome to occur defining needs as either ‘must have’ or ‘negotiable’ must occur. When we give up our ‘must have’ needs then we risk feeling the threesome was a mistake and make the threesome vulnerable to failure. Therefore before having a threesome it is important needs are communicated and agreed.

3) Safety

Safety comes in two forms, personal and physical. Without feeling protected in a threesome it is impossible to feel the thrill a threesome can provide. Being able to feel protected in a threesome means considering topics such as safe-sex and location of the threesome.

4) Self-Confidence

Being confident is vital. It is something miraculously that others almost instantly notice and respond. Without feeling you can conquer any hang-up you may have about:

• body size / body shape
• penis size
• labia shape / size
• looks
• breast shape / size
• personality
• your interests
• sexual ability to please

Then it is likely others will feel the same. Therefore it is vital to feel confident about the decision, about yourself, and about your partner / spouse.

5) Boundaries

From my own experience, boundaries do not need to be complex but they are necessary. They provide the spine for the threesome along with providing the joy and excitement for it. Boundaries help minimize the chance of a bloodbath because assumptions were made based on previous behavior or because they were ill-defined. Also definable boundaries help in taking ownership of the decision thereby implying people care enough about the threesome by taking the time to define the limits.

6) Threesome dynamics

In its most rudimentary form having a threesome is about having sex without emotional attachment. By defining a threesome this way it removes much of the dance that occurs when a new relationship forms. Nonetheless it still requires there is, at least, a physical attraction amongst the threesome and it requires all three can work as a team. This means each person must be agreeable to the other and no covert hang-ups must exist.

Finally

There is no formula, no checklist, and no perfect time to have a threesome. The best you can do is weigh the image of the threesome you want against what you presently know. If you can feel secure in the decision to have a threesome, it does not elicit negative feelings such as anger, and feel as though the choices you have made are right then it is probably the time to move have the threesome.

I wish you the best on your choice and hope your threesome is enjoyable as mine.

 

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Photo Credit – FeeDigitalPhoto.net by Anusorn P nachol

How to get your spouse comfortable with the idea of sleeping with someone else without them knowing

Becoming comfortable with the idea is a first step

Imagine for a moment your spouse having sex with someone else while you watch. The idea can be arousing but how do you get to that point? If the conversation about having a threesome has started then a part of the process of introducing the idea of having a threesome involve helping your spouse become comfortable with the idea.

The journey from internally considering the idea to actually having a threesome include finding a way of becoming comfortable with the idea of having sex with someone else. In my opinion, becoming comfortable with the idea is probably a major hurdle that need overcoming if a threesome will occur.

Overcoming this hurdle will involve resolving the message about monogamy and it involve becoming comfortable with the idea. So, how do you help your spouse become comfortable with the idea of having a threesome?

1)  Share the fantasy

Sharing a fantasy is a good way to build trust and in a very broad way ‘to test the water’ regarding the idea. By sharing the fantasy, building on it, and letting your spouse know it is something that interest you builds a foundation for a later discussion. Also, by sharing a threesome fantasy it help move the idea from the shroud of secrecy into the light of discussion

Finally, it is important understanding that an interest during foreplay in the fantasy does not necessarily mean an interest in having a threesome. Instead sharing the fantasy help build the foundation for a later discussion.

2)  Watch porn together

Watching porn together can help facilitate later discussion and it can help bring down a barrier. It may help show the practice is acceptable and help remove it from being seen as taboo.

3)  Visit web sites on the topic together

There are many threesome web sites, like this one, on the internet and there are more hard-core web sites too. Sometime reading a question from another couple regarding having a threesome is less threatening than watching porn together.

4)  Introduce the idea during conversation

Find a way of introducing having a threesome into the general conversation. It can be subtle, such as asking your spouse if they find “X” attractive. If your spouse can see such a question is not threatening then it can help them become comfortable with the idea.

5)  Reinforce the idea

If your spouse shows interest in the topic then reward them for bringing it up. The reward does not have to be overtly obvious and instead it can be very subtle, such as smile. Maybe the subtle reward can be warm reply or a “thank you,” for sharing your thoughts. Positive reinforcement done in the right way and done at the right time can have profound impact.

6)  Role play the idea

Role playing can be very basic or it can be very elaborate. In my experience role playing the idea should happen after some discussion or sharing the fantasy. By role playing after introducing the idea and incorporating some of the ideas can make for a very powerful experience.

7)  Communicate

Talk about the idea and as the conversation progresses talk about the barriers preventing having a threesome. Being able to talk about the idea can communicate a level of acceptance of the idea. By being accepting of the idea it can help your partner become comfortable with the idea.

8)  Remove barriers

Even if you do not specifically talk about barriers there are things you can do to remove potential barriers, such as:

• avoiding conflict by talking through the issue
• making time for your partner
• letting them know how much you care for them
• being supportive
• taking steps to improve yourself

9)  Hall Pass

A ‘Hall Pass’ gives your partner permission to have sex with someone else without being seen as cheating. The advantage of using it as a way of helping your partner feel comfortable it show you can be comfortable with the idea without becoming jealous. However, it should only be suggested after some discussion about the idea and your spouse show an interest in the idea of having a threesome. Also, it should only be used if you are comfortable with the idea, understand the risks, and are willing to accept the consequences.

10) Work on yourself

There are always things we can do to improve ourselves thereby increasing the chance of having a threesome. This can include:

• working on how we communicate
• becoming less jealous
• giving our partner more freedom
• making time for our partner
• being open about what we are doing on Facebook, twitter, and other social media.

Conclusion

There are positive steps we can take to support our partner while they explore the idea of being with someone else. A part of them becoming comfortable depend on us but there other part require them to become comfortable too. The latter is not always possible and in the end we need to love our spouse for who they are not what they can give us.

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