First Time cuckolding: The once in a lifetime roller coaster ride that is worth taking

First Time? No Ticket Required

I remember riding a roller coaster as a kid. The fear of heights along with the fear of falling out that always made me nervous of riding a roller coaster. Then as the roller coaster climbed to the top rushing down, emotional rush as it speeds down the hill.

Cuckolding in some ways is like being on a roller coaster. Once she agrees to try cuckolding and a lot of images miraculously enter your mind. Not everyone cuckolds and a feeling of privilege begins overtaking your body like a tidal wave. The feeling, is like winning the lottery or receiving membership in an exclusive club. It is something very unique. Soon questions, fears, anxiety, and a flurry of other emotions begins to grip your mind. A feeling of being overwhelmed hits and questions such as, is this normal enter your mind?

What is it like during the time from ‘yes’ to the actual experience and then afterwards? What can I do to help me through the time? Agreeing to be cuckold can be a rich and rewarding experience. However until you have the experience, know what to expect, and know the outcome then the experience is best describe as an emotional roller coaster.

The Journey

1) Emotional Roller coaster

After agreeing to have a cuckold, it is common for emotions fluctuate very quickly and to fluctuate for varying lengths of time. In the beginning it is common to feel elation and maybe some fear. During this time fear is quickly ignored because of the surge of feeling immense joy over the upcoming event.

Then as the day gets closer extremes feelings happen. Suddenly you feel excitement and then fear.  The fear grips your mind and then every thing that can go wrong appears in your mind, like a bad dream. Panic can happen and doubts if this is the right choice happens. Right before succumbing to the fear, reality comes to rescue by removing the fear.

Now the day arrives and she leaves for her date. At first a quiet calm happens, feeling like a member of an exclusive club and feeling privilege leads to a feeling of euphoria. As the feeling of euphoria beings to wane, fear begins chirping like a child wanting to know how much longer. The feeling of euphoria stifles the sound of fear but as the feeling of euphoria diminishes like a mother who cannot keep saying no. Soon fear takes over. Is she safe? Is she enjoying herself? What will she be like when she gets home? Is our relationship over? Why did I agree to this when I could have said no? starting playing like a tape recording.

The cycle of feeling euphoria and fear continues. Watching television or playing a game of solitaire is not an option since the emotional roller coaster is creating too much anxiety. Only a distraction can work.

2) Need for distraction

The need for a distraction is fairly obvious by providing an emotional balance during this time that will not cause harm later. A distraction can be as simple as housework, gardening, or going to a movie. It can involve a friend or a group. However, not everyone wants to know about cuckolding or someone’s sexual adventure therefore it becomes necessary being selective discussing the reason for distraction.

3) Desire to push the limits

During the time of joy, euphoria, or excitement feeling like nothing can bad can happen does occur. It leads to a feeling of invincibility and the willingness the change boundaries because nothing bad can happen. This feeling comes about from being a part of a privilege and for the most part, a secret club. However, we tend to forget superman had his Krypton and every club has it rules.

4) Relationship Changes

Through the emotional highs and emotional lows something is quietly happening in the background, change. That is right change to the relationship is occurring. Nothing is frozen forever in time and we are not able to go back in time to fix or prevent something from going wrong.

In a few days, weeks, or months, she is going to have sex with someone outside of the relationship. This will mean the relationship, for better or worse, will change. Change will occur in threesome stages.

First stage is the immediate stage. This is the time from right after she returns for the first few weeks. It is the time when the relationship copes with the cuckolding experience and redefines itself. During this period there is a lot of change occurring.

Second stage is the latency stage. After the resolution of the first stage there is a period of relative quiet where very little occurs. This can last for a few days, weeks, or months.

Final stage is the new normal. Through all of the discussions that have occurred, perception of the experience, and attitudes towards each other will redefine this stage. This is the point where the relationship finally works resolves the issues and defines how the couple will relate to each other.

5) Empowerment

During relationship changes and the fluctuations of emotions that are occurring there is something very quietly working in the background, empowerment. Cuckolding can be a very empowering experience for a couple. For him it is about expressing his desire in an open way and having his desire met. This means he is able to openly communicate his tawdry desire and have it met without fear of retribution. Depending on the form the couple’s cuckolding takes, it can be a way for him to give control to his wife and unburden some of the pressure he feels.

For her is a lot deeper. By cuckolding she is able to confirm her sexual desirability to someone else without fear of loosing the relationship. This can be a very powerful experience because it can show her she is more than a wife, a mother, and she is a sexual person.

Finally for the couple, cuckolding provides a route for improving the communication and a way to get their needs met.

Journey Aftermath

6) Knowing the Details

Trying cuckolding means only one person has sex with someone outside of the relationship that is done with the knowledge and consent of the other person in the relationship. This can be prove a very powerful aphrodisiac for a couple because one of them has an experience the other does not and by sharing the details of the experience it can be something that binds them as a couple.

This raises the question, how do you share the details? From my experience, the best way is to tell it like a story and tell it as a part of foreplay. Focus on the feelings, scents, mood, and anything else that can draw your partner into the story. Use a tone a voice that is  suggestive and inviting. Do not rush it and do not have him just laying listening to the story. Instead have him experience the story by becoming a part of it. Have him do the some of things you were experiencing and encourage him. If he asks any questions be hones but positive.

7) Sloppy seconds

One of the succulent rewards of cuckolding is experiencing sloppy seconds. Feeling her stretched from another cock being deep inside of her along with her red swollen lips and if no condom was used, the warm sticky feeling of her lover’s cum. Also there is usually a subtle smell of must.

Sloppy seconds is a result of an experience each individual openly embraced and something that should be enjoyed instead of being shunned.

For her it is a sign of her desirability to another and for him it is a sign of his fantasy being fulfilled. Ideally they should take time together before falling asleep to share and enjoy the experience together.

8) Best Sex of your life

The smell of sex along with details of the experience and experiencing sloppy seconds can lead to an incredible sexual experience. Especially if it is done shortly after she comes home. From my experience, nothing can compare to it.

9) Improved Communication

After the experience and as the relationship finds its ‘new normal.’ One of the possible benefits is seeing improved communication. Especially feeling less afraid to discuss ideas and an open willingness to share ideas that can lead to an increase in trust.

10) Trust Issues

After the euphoria, from hearing the details and enjoying sloppy seconds, reality begins to enter. Questions such as, what happened? How could I have agreed to this? Why did I agree to this? can occur. This happens because the emotional roller coaster is ending, relationship changes are occurring, and facing the reality of what is happening can create issues of trust. This is normal and happens as the relationship undergoes changes that brings up trust issues. It is important to see the experience as a journey not an isolate series of events and to discuss the issue, in a calm and non-judgmental, manner.

In contrast it is very possible cuckolding can be a very positive experience that confirms trust in the relationship and allows the relationship to grow further.

Finally

Cuckolding is not right for every couple. For those that it suitable then cuckolding can be a great experience for any couple who is willing to undertake the risk, who is willing to communicate, and trust each other. It can bring them together, provide powerful visual images for foreplay that will last for many years, and it can improve their communication. It is one roller coaster ride, for the right couple, that is worth taking.

Related Articles

Cuckolding Guide: Enjoying Sloppy Seconds

Power of Sloppy Seconds

Her first date: A cuckolding guide for her

Her first date: A cuckolding guide for him

After Yes Now What: A cuckolding beginners guide

10 things you should know about cuckolding but were afraid to ask

Cuckolding for Couples: Making cuckolding a partnership

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On Being Part of a Triad

Quite a provocative article exposing the forbidden fruit of having multiple relationships. It is an article that I wholeheartedly endorse and I encourage you to read too.

On Being Part of a Triad.

via On Being Part of a Triad.

Perils of using a friend or co-worker for a threesome

Is it a good idea to invite a friend or co-worker to a threesome?

For a threesome to happen a willing third person is needed that understands what the couple is wanting and on the surface it sounds relatively straightforward. For a couple just starting their search a friend or in some cases a co-worker seems like a natural starting point. Since a relationship already exists and something is already known about them. However, because a relationship already exists it can create further problems that the below examples will try to highlight.

Friend and Co-worker examples

In order to make the discussion clearer this author will use a fictitious couple, Couple A, George and Mary, who agree on a two male threesome. They begin their search by joining a few threesome friendly sites and after a few days grow weary of the process. Their first reaction is to forgo having a threesome and after a bit of contemplation, Mary suggests Henry a friend of George. George and Henry have been friends for a few years plus they work together. At first George resists the idea, thinking Henry was not a good choice. Then George recalls conversations he has had with Henry and how much Henry found Mary attractive. George for a while wanes on the idea but after repeated failures with their search, George acquiesces, agreeing to invite Henry.

Shortly thereafter, George invites Henry to join Mary and him for supper. Henry believes it is going to be a quiet evening with conversation and some drinking with friends. The evening begins like any other evening they spend together and about 1/2 through the evening Mary begins flirting with Henry. Henry is not sure how to respond and a few moments later Mary ‘excuses’ herself to go to the bathroom. While Mary is gone George explains what they have planned and after some reassuring Henry agrees.

Upon returning George signals to Mary that Henry is interested and the evening continues with all three going back to their place for drinks. Mary then leaves to ‘get into something more comfortable’ with Henry and George following her a few minutes later. The threesome occurs and afterwards negative feelings remain about the threesome. Furthermore the friendship between George and Henry decays. Along with their friendship decaying their working relationship suffers, ultimately leading Henry to leave his job.

The above scenario shows a potential impact of choosing a friend is the loss of a friendship and the potential impact on other parts of the participants’ lives. Going back to the above scenario it is possible that one of the friends could have taken out a grievance against the other in the workplace, led to claims of discrimination, or harassment. This could have an impact on the career and livelihood of the other. However, in this situation, the result was the lost of friendship.

Scenario two: George and Melissa is another fictitious couple that are pursuing a single female for a fmf threesome. After two years of searching for the elusive single woman they are about to give up on their search until Melissa suggests a friend Matilda at her job. Melissa works for a SME where everyone knows everyone and there is a feeling of belonging to a family. Matilda is a single woman a few years younger than Melissa and Matilda is supervised by a manager that reports Melissa. She decides to invite Matilda over for supper with George and herself. Things go smoothly and things progress to a threesome.

A few days later Matilda becomes upset about the threesome and questions if it is the right thing to do since Melissa manages her line manager. After taking legal advice Matilda decides to file a sexual harassment complaint against Melissa resulting in Melissa loosing her job.

This scenario, which is fictional, does highlight the legal and career costs to using a coworker for a threesome. Even if two people are the same pay grade, filing a grievance based on bullying or sexual harassment is possible. Therefore it is important to consider the career and legal implications of inviting a co-worker for a threesome.

Questions

This brings up the important question for any couple considering a threesome with a friend, what is more important the friendship or the threesome? In most cases, this author feels, the friendship would take precedence over the threesome. If this is the case, then the couple needs to consider closely the impact of the threesome on continuing the friendship.

Finally this brings up another important question, is there a way to have a threesome while maintaining the friendship or working relationship? It is important to remember once the suggestion is brought up the friendship or working relationship forever changes. In this author’s opinion maintaining the friendship might be possible if the friends can discuss the idea beforehand, work through any feelings, and discuss how the friendship could return after the threesome. Unfortunately with labor laws it can make using a co-worker more difficult. Therefore it is possible, though not advisable, to use a friend or a co-worker for a threesome. The risks, this author feels, outweighs any potential benefit from that choice.

Related articles

• Where do negative feelings after a threesome come from & how to address them (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Problems with quid pro quo as a negotiating position for threesomes (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Threesome Terminology (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Frequently Asked questions about choosing a third person for a threesome (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Why some couples choose full threesomes (3somes.wordpress.com)
• FAQs about threesomes for couples – Part 2 (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Questions regarding overcoming resistance to threesome (3somes.wordpress.com)
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Frequently Asked Questions choosing a third person for a threesome

Is choosing a co-worker, a friend, or an ex a good choice for inviting as the third to a threesome?

Generally speaking they are convenient since you know them and you have some type of a relationship with them. However, each poses a risk and the risk normally outweighs any advantage. Therefore, the general rule is co-workers, friends, and exes tend not to make a good choice for a threesome.

Where can we find a third for our threesome?

The locations you can search are unlimited. Probably the most common ones are on-line dating web sites, swinger / lifestyle websites, swingers clubs, munches, dogging sites, and lifestyle parties. Sometimes bars / pubs are a possibility. However most bars / pubs do not cater to this type of activity and your advances may be un-welcomed. Therefore if you do look in a bar / pub be cautious and be ready if your threesome idea is ill-received. Finally some may consider using a “professional” for this type of activity. In most locations, including Vegas, prostitution is illegal and many “professionals” carry STDs / STIs. Plus some may be under-age, they are expensive, and many hotels will not tolerate them. Best advice is forgetting about using a professional due to the risk and cost.

How do we select the third person?  

There is no magical formula for choosing the third person and the choice comes down to your preferences. However the person selected, this author feels, should be someone that is compatible with the two of you and the both of you can agree on them.

I want my partner to select the third person and not interfere?

The decision on how to select the third person is ultimately up to each couple. However, this author feels there is less chance of issues arising and less risk to the relationship if both are active in the choice process. One possible solution might be your partner chooses but you have the last say over the selection.

How much detail should we go into about our boundaries?

You do not need to give an hour lecture on your boundaries and you do not need to go into great depth about them. Nonetheless the information you give should be enough for them to understand your boundaries and respect them.

Once we meet the third person, should we have the threesome the same day?

This is a personal decision that needs to be made by all involved. However some couples, particularly those just starting out, may want to consider a meet & greet. A meet & greet allows all three to meet in public and each to decide on their own before the threesome occurs. Such a situation reduces the chance the wrong decision is made and reduces the chance that there will be regrets later.