Threesome Foursome: Adding Spice to an erotic experience by trying an unique position

Introduction

Planning a threesome? Wondering what position to use? Maybe split roast, double penetration, and watching while to the invited male fucks your wife while you watch is becoming blase. Regardless below there is an opportunity to add some creativity and excitement to your threesome by trying new positions. The plethora of positions listed below are a collection of threesome positions for both mfm and fmf along with a few foursome positions.

Cosmo Twitter After Dark

Cosmo Twitter After Dark regarding realistic threesome positions. It is a good article. However the cartoon like drawings and the descriptions are light-hearted; however the light-heartedness, I feel, detracts from the purpose. Nonetheless, I believe, this is a great piece that is worth the time to review.

AskMen – UK

Cosmo does a great job with article on threesome positions. In contrast AskMen – UK is more pragmatic. Instead of 15 positions it focuses on 7 positions using real-life models along with discussing the benefits of each position.

DatingAdvice.com

The list on this site adds to the depth of positions available. The only drawback, unlike the other sites listed here, this site provides descriptions without video or photos; instead this site relies on descriptions.

SexualPositionsFree.com

This site takes an unique approach to the topic of threesome positions by using wooden figures in various positions.

YouTube – Living La Vita Loca (fmf / mff threesome)

For YouTube videos this is very well done and it focuses on threesome position for a two woman threesome

Finally

Regardless if you opt for a familiar position such as split roast or something more adventurous, the one thing that is clear having a threesome  can greatly enhance for any couple.

Other Articles of Interest:

10 Questions about Threesomes you were afraid to ask

Easing into a threesome

Threesome planning

Suggesting a threesome, what does it mean?

How to suggest a threesome

Threesome Terminology

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How do they have sex?

Another well written article by Janes Illustrated Erotic Sex Blog that is definitely worth the time to read.  In this article she provides her experience of being a BBW and what works.

How do they have sex?.

How to persuade them to have a threesome: Secret #4 – marathon not sprint

Introduction

Imagine an event that brought a lot of possibilities, such as a job interview. The thoughts of a better life because of the experience and being able to join the company made you believe you could join a select group.  However one thing stood in the way, achieving the goal. Realizing the event is still a dream brought another feeling that felt like carrying a 50lb weight while trying to sprint to the finish line. Knowing a well deserved reward was within reach, nothing else mattered,except experiencing the joy that comes with such an event.

In many ways, having a threesome can bring wonderment and possibilities. It is very easy to focus on the finish-line, having a threesome instead of focusing on the road ahead.

Give it time

Bringing up the idea of having a threesome can be met with a variety of reactions from ending the relationship to a mutual agreement to have a threesome. Preparation for the discussion and projecting confidence in desiring a threesome are essential for the discussion.  Approaching the conversation should not be done a sprint, whereby agreement is made to have a threesome followed by a drive down to the bar to find someone. Instead of reacting to the ‘heat of the moment,’ thought should be given planning the threesome and ensure everyone has a common understanding. This usually means there is a pause in the conversation.

Allowing a pause, as it relates to the discussion of a threesomes, we are always learning from our experiences and as we have more experiences our views of the world change. This does not always means an initial ‘no’ will automatically change to a ‘yes.’ Instead it means giving time to process the suggestion and giving them time to view the suggestion in context of new experiences. This may lead to softening of their position and it can mean the subject can be re-approached.

Exercise to try

To see the impact a pause can have, including yourself. The next time you are having a casual conversation, pause and do not say a word. Alternatively if you are not comfortable trying this then try to think of a time when you had a conversation and there was a pause? What is your feeling? Do you feel, as though you have to say something? What about the other person? Do they feel uncomfortable with it? How does it resolve itself?

A pause in a conversation can be awkward leaving us to find a way to restart the conversation and get beyond that awkward feeling without realizing the pause may be beneficial. This is true with any conversation regardless if the pause is a few seconds or a few years. By understanding how a pause can effect you can help in handling the discussion of a threesome and possibly persuade them to have a threesome.

Conclusion

Pause in a conversation is natural but is can be unnerving. When it does it occur it is important to let the conversation begin naturally instead of trying to restart it because it feels unnatural to keep the pause. Discussing a threesome should be seen as a marathon instead of sprint. By allowing the conversation to begin naturally it signifies thought has been given to the topic of having a threesome and it can mean it reaching an agreement might be easier. Should the outcome be there is no agreement on having a threesome then it is best to let the pause return and love your partner / spouse for who they are instead of what they can give you.

 

Related Articles

Defining Monogamy

Separating Sex from Love

Communication

Bringing up the idea

Getting comfortable with the idea of having sex with someone else

How to persuade them to have a threesome: Secret #3: being confident

How to persuade them to have a threesome: Secret #2: separating emotional sex from physical sex

How to persuade them to have a threesome: Secret #1: nice to have versus must have

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Print this out for him

A great author and blog that is offers a lot detail on cunnilingus. It is applicable to a couple or a threesome. I believe this is a must read for anyone looking to take their foreplay to the next level.

Print this out for him.

via Print this out for him.

A single male’s guide: how to attract a couple without offending them

Introduction

In previous articles such as ‘Asking a Couple for a Threesome,’ and ‘FAQs for Single Men Desiring a Threesome,‘ the thrust of the article was avoiding common mistakes that single men tend to make when approaching a couple for a threesome. This article will take earlier information further by discussing, an approach that I call couple-centric can help increase your chance of success by following seven pieces of advice and help you stand-out from the other 100 single men that are contacting the couple.

1) Accept you are not unique

Accepting this goes a long way in attracting a couple. Many times single men believe:

• A couple is searching for a threesome because there is an issue in ‘the bedroom’ and somehow the male cannot satisfy her.
• A couple is searching for a single male with a specific attribute  (e.g. age, muscular body, large penis)
• A couple does not get many replies because the practice of having a threesome is taboo
• They are the only male the couple is communicating with about having a threesome

Reality is, you are not so unique that a couple can find another male to meet their needs. The challenge for you is not rest on your laurels and work with a couple.

2) Be Socialble

Being sociable is crucial for a single male. Too often a single male focus on the goal, the threesome, and forget the journey they need to get to that point. Having a threesome is a journey that goes a complex social dance that lasts as long as necessary and each point being social.

In a mfm situation it is the couple that is in charge. This means it is important to get everyone feeling comfortable and it means being able to make ‘small talk.’ Being able to make ‘small talk’ and being able to hold a conversation while focusing your attention on both will be vital in the early stage. Ignoring the male in the relationship, rushing the ‘social pleasantries’ like ‘small talk,’ or not being able to hold a conversation are potential ‘death nail’ with the couple.

3) Think like a couple

Too often a single male will view having a mfm threesome as a way to have NSA (no strings attached) sex with the extra baggage of the boyfriend or husband being present. For the couple she has already made her choice and she has chosen her partner. A single male in their threesome is nothing more than a tool for their sexual enjoyment. For them choosing a single male is who is the best fit their needs at the moment.

For a single male it means putting aside their need and understand the couple, such as:

• What type of single male do they want for their threesome?
• What has brought this couple to consider the idea of having a threesome?
• How does the single male fit into their plans?
• Are there any underlying relationship issues that could impact the threesome?
• How do they communicate?
• What is their style of communication? How can you adapt your communication style to fit their?

4) Understand the couple

I almost included this section with number 3 but felt it was better to keep each point simple. Also I felt it is important to highlight a couple begins their search for a single male at different points in the threesome process

Understanding the couple involve putting yourself in their place. A couple will look for a third person for a threesome when there has been some agreement to at least look. Some couples will be:

• Looking to see what type of male is available in their area before deciding to have a threesome
• ‘Testing the water’ to see if, as a couple, they can go through with the idea
• Wanting to make a few connections with different single men before deciding

Whereas some couples might:

• Already committed to the idea of having a threesome and are looking for the ‘best fit.’
• Looking for a single male that can fulfill a specific fantasy
• In some cases they might be looking for a bisexual male

It is important when speaking with a couple about a potential threesome that latitude is given to them by accepting not every couple searches for a single male at exactly the same point. Some may begin the search to only decide that it needs to happen slower or they may make the contact before coming back. Whatever the situation, I believe, a good single male will listen and support the couple by understanding their journey.

5) Understand the single male role in a mfm, mmf threesome

Previously stated, a couple has many choices for a two male threesome and being sociable can go along ways in attracting a couple. The second part of that equation is an understanding in most two male threesomes the single male role is to enhance the pleasure of the woman. This does not mean he needs to have unique sexual abilities that the other men has and it does not mean he needs to have a larger penis than the other male.

Instead it means, he is there as a someone to help the couple expand their enjoyment and he is also there to work closely with the other male in multiplying her pleasure. This implies the single male needs to be adept in social situations, a good communicator, and someone who is able to work well with others.

Next, it is not uncommon for a couple to choose a single male that has more threesome experience than themselves. Sometimes a couple makes this choice because they want someone to guide them into having a threesome and in this type of situation the single male need to be patient with them. However if they are not comfortable with the need then they should tell the couple.

6) View any discussion as a chance ‘to meet the friend you knew existed but never met.’

This simply means approach any potential threesome conversation as a chance to make a friend and not a threesome. Reason for saying this. not every contact will lead to a threesome. It is better to have a positive attitude and a good perspective than being hostile because a couple did not choose you.

7) Accept Rejection

This goes very closely with number 5 because rejection will happen. A successful single male will accept not every couple will choose them and they are comfortable with this reality. Because they are positive about the experience that is something a couple will notice and having a positive attitude can be a powerful mechanism for making yourself stand-out among the hundred other men that are contacting the couple.

Conclusion

The above seven steps are meant to give more insight to a single when speaking with a couple about having a threesome. Arguably for a couple it sheds some light onto the characteristics of a good single male. Furthermore this article is meant to give a usable approach that will not work in every situation but will help increase the chance for success.  If you forget everything in this article except one thing then the one thing should be, every couple is unique with their own requirements. Do not push the couple into a decision but enjoy the time you have communicating with them and even if nothing transpires then it is possible they may become a friend and who knows where that friendship might go.

 

Related Articles

Part 1: Writing an Ad

Part 2: FAQs for Single Men Desiring a MFM Threesome

Part 3: Perils of Using a Friend or Co-Worker for a Threesome

Part 4: Asking a Couple for a Threesome

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Taking care of her love button

Another great article by Jane’s Illustrated Erotic Sex Blog. I am ‘Pressing’ this article because it is an insightful article that gives a good description on technique. Whilst we all know how to use the “button,” as Jane calls it, she takes it a bit further by suggesting how to maximize its beneficial pleasure.

I hope you take a few moment to read this great article.

Taking care of her love button.

via Taking care of her love button.

How to get your spouse comfortable with the idea of sleeping with someone else without them knowing

Becoming comfortable with the idea is a first step

Imagine for a moment your spouse having sex with someone else while you watch. The idea can be arousing but how do you get to that point? If the conversation about having a threesome has started then a part of the process of introducing the idea of having a threesome involve helping your spouse become comfortable with the idea.

The journey from internally considering the idea to actually having a threesome include finding a way of becoming comfortable with the idea of having sex with someone else. In my opinion, becoming comfortable with the idea is probably a major hurdle that need overcoming if a threesome will occur.

Overcoming this hurdle will involve resolving the message about monogamy and it involve becoming comfortable with the idea. So, how do you help your spouse become comfortable with the idea of having a threesome?

1)  Share the fantasy

Sharing a fantasy is a good way to build trust and in a very broad way ‘to test the water’ regarding the idea. By sharing the fantasy, building on it, and letting your spouse know it is something that interest you builds a foundation for a later discussion. Also, by sharing a threesome fantasy it help move the idea from the shroud of secrecy into the light of discussion

Finally, it is important understanding that an interest during foreplay in the fantasy does not necessarily mean an interest in having a threesome. Instead sharing the fantasy help build the foundation for a later discussion.

2)  Watch porn together

Watching porn together can help facilitate later discussion and it can help bring down a barrier. It may help show the practice is acceptable and help remove it from being seen as taboo.

3)  Visit web sites on the topic together

There are many threesome web sites, like this one, on the internet and there are more hard-core web sites too. Sometime reading a question from another couple regarding having a threesome is less threatening than watching porn together.

4)  Introduce the idea during conversation

Find a way of introducing having a threesome into the general conversation. It can be subtle, such as asking your spouse if they find “X” attractive. If your spouse can see such a question is not threatening then it can help them become comfortable with the idea.

5)  Reinforce the idea

If your spouse shows interest in the topic then reward them for bringing it up. The reward does not have to be overtly obvious and instead it can be very subtle, such as smile. Maybe the subtle reward can be warm reply or a “thank you,” for sharing your thoughts. Positive reinforcement done in the right way and done at the right time can have profound impact.

6)  Role play the idea

Role playing can be very basic or it can be very elaborate. In my experience role playing the idea should happen after some discussion or sharing the fantasy. By role playing after introducing the idea and incorporating some of the ideas can make for a very powerful experience.

7)  Communicate

Talk about the idea and as the conversation progresses talk about the barriers preventing having a threesome. Being able to talk about the idea can communicate a level of acceptance of the idea. By being accepting of the idea it can help your partner become comfortable with the idea.

8)  Remove barriers

Even if you do not specifically talk about barriers there are things you can do to remove potential barriers, such as:

• avoiding conflict by talking through the issue
• making time for your partner
• letting them know how much you care for them
• being supportive
• taking steps to improve yourself

9)  Hall Pass

A ‘Hall Pass’ gives your partner permission to have sex with someone else without being seen as cheating. The advantage of using it as a way of helping your partner feel comfortable it show you can be comfortable with the idea without becoming jealous. However, it should only be suggested after some discussion about the idea and your spouse show an interest in the idea of having a threesome. Also, it should only be used if you are comfortable with the idea, understand the risks, and are willing to accept the consequences.

10) Work on yourself

There are always things we can do to improve ourselves thereby increasing the chance of having a threesome. This can include:

• working on how we communicate
• becoming less jealous
• giving our partner more freedom
• making time for our partner
• being open about what we are doing on Facebook, twitter, and other social media.

Conclusion

There are positive steps we can take to support our partner while they explore the idea of being with someone else. A part of them becoming comfortable depend on us but there other part require them to become comfortable too. The latter is not always possible and in the end we need to love our spouse for who they are not what they can give us.

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Orgasms for Two, don’t always go it alone

A great article about positions for couples that can easily be adaptable for three.

 

Orgasms for Two, don’t always go it alone.

via Orgasms for Two, don’t always go it alone.

Simulating a threesome

Introduction

How do you have a threesome without actually having it? Maybe your question is, how do you take small steps that safely allows exploring the idea of having threesome? Answer, there are a variety of ways and this article will examine a few of the techniques available.

Fantasy Sharing / Pillow Talk:

Sharing the idea as a fantasy as a part of foreplay, during sex, after sex is a great way for creating an erotic encounter or maintaining interest. The great thing about this is it can be spontaneous where your minds can run wild, it is easy for each person to maintain their comfort zone and it does not require a lot of preparation. A major drawback, it is easy for the line between fantasy and reality to become blurred. Unless the discussion shifts from fantasy to discussing the making it a reality during the ‘cold-hard light of day’ then assume the idea remains a fantasy.

Watching Porn

At first I debated if this should be included in the ‘Fantasy Sharing / Pillow Talk,’ section and I decided to make its own section. Watching threesome porn, this author feels, is a great way to share the fantasy and if the couple chooses, us it as a way to start the discussion about having a threesome. Also, it can serve as a way to get new techniques and ideas for fantasies. It is important to remember porn is fantasy that shows professional actors acting about a threesome fantasy. This means it is unrealistic to expect a real threesome to be similar to a porn movie.

Role Playing

Role playing a threesome essentially is simulating the idea of having a threesome as real for the couple as possible. Before the role play starts a safe-word, a word that could not be confused as a part of the act, should be chosen and used to stop the role play if it becomes too uncomfortable for a participant. Next step involves the role-play itself. It can be as simple as a fantasy description during foreplay using toys or fingers to simulate the third person. On the more elaborate side, it can be an elaborate play whereby the couple develops a scene. The scene can be the woman going into a bar flirting with another guy while her partner watches from a distance or it can be her male partner pretending to be someone else who seduces her without her husband knowing about it. It is important to note, if the scene involves people who may unknowingly participate it can cause problems and potentially put safety at risk. Finally even though simulating a threesome may be arousing actually having one maybe different. Therefore, it is always to important to remember there is a difference between the fantasy of having a threesome and actually having a threesome. The difference lies in the fact during the fantasy each participant remains in control of what happens but during a real threesome the ability to control the situation, to a great extent is lost, since the outcome is dependent on the third person’s interaction with the couple.

Sex Toys

Sex toys provide a great way to explore the idea of having a threesome without actually having one. They can be used in conjunction with role playing or used on their own. This is one area where creativity and imagination can be limitless.

Lap Dancing Club

Attending a lap dancing club is another way to simulate having a threesome but be prepared to be charged money. By attending a lap dancing club the sex is simulated and usually with the client not being able to touch the dancer. It can give a powerful visual representation of what a threesome might be like but again it is not a real threesome.

Swingers Club

There is a misrepresentation that you must participate if you go to a swingers club and generally speaking it is not the case. Attending a swingers club to meet people and to watch can provide a perspective that may not be open to you. It can provide some insight and make having a threesome as real as possible without actually having it. With that said, it is important to agree to boundaries before going and be prepared if approached to politely, yet assertively, tell people that you are not looking to play that evening. If you are not comfortable telling people ‘no’ then you may find putting yourself and / or your partner in a situation that they would rather not find themselves. Finally before going for your first time it is recommended to contact the club. They will advise you and arrange for you to join. Normally a swingers club will charge a membership fee. Usually the fee is to meet legal requirements along with attracting the type of clientele they want.

Soft-swinging

As an author, I debated if I should include soft-swinging since it involves another person. However after much though I decided to include it since it does not involve having sex with the third person and in my view, soft-swinging is the closest the couple can have simulating a threesome without it actually occurring. Soft-swinging by definition means sexual activity does occur but penetration does not. This can be anything from having someone watch you having sex to kissing, fondling with clothes all the way to rimming. As a technique for simulating a threesome soft-swinging can provide a transition for a couple wanting a full-swap threesome but is not ready for it. Likewise for a couple who wants to remain monogamous to each other then soft-swinging can provide the best of both worlds, the ability to have a limited threesome while remaining monogamous to each other.

Posting Pictures on amateur sites:

Nothing can be more exciting than taking a few suggestive then posting online and then reading the comments. The comments then can serve as fuel for further fantasies, give further ideas, and add a few sparks back. If you are going to do the above then ensure the whole process is transparent (e.g. user name, password, and all information is accessible) and boundaries are agreed about how far the experience will go. It is easy to to get ‘taken-away’ by the moment and go further then you might be willing to go.

Web Cam

Some may remember when web cams first came out, the issues with video streaming and having the computer recognize the camera. With web cams becoming inexpensive, high speed broadband, and faster processors the problems with web cams have been resolved. For a couple that wants the experience of having a threesome without the STD / STI then “camming” provides an alternative. Probably the biggest drawback, in this author’s opinion, for “camming” is the risk of being discovered or your computer being hit by a virus. The latter can be reduced by using good internet security software, using reputable sites, and practicing safe internet surfing habits.

Conclusion

The above does show there is a way a couple, who may want a threesome but is reluctant to have a full-swap, can explore their interest without actually having a threesome.  Each option has its advantages, disadvantage, and risks; however, it is up to each couple to decide which one(s) suits them the best.

Related articles

• How not to offend the third person (3somes.wordpress.com)
• FAQs – Finding a third person (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Suggesting a threesome – What does it mean? (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Having the initial discussion (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Reconnecting afer a threesome (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Questions for a couple to ask the third person (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Understanding the basic difference between wife swapping and threesome (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Why some couples choose full threesomes (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Defining threesome, swinging, and open relationship (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Problems with quid pro quo as a negotiating position for threesomes (3somes.wordpress.com)

Anal Sex FAQs

Anal Sex Basics in FAQ format

How important is foreplay to anal sex?

This author believes it is quite important since it helps to ease any discomfort or pain. It also helps to make the anus pliable for penetration.

How can I get over the discomfort and pain anal sex causes?

The anus and rectum are not designed for sex. This means care needs to be taken not to injure the person. Preventing injury requires care is taken with insertion, the individual is properly relaxed, and the anus is properly stretched. As a result, anal sex is something that requires time, patience, and cannot be done as a ‘quickie.’

How do I relax / How do I get my partner to relax for anal sex?

Provided there is no medical reason try taking a deep breath followed by slowly exhaling. Doing this a few times might help. Another possible technique to try is liberally and often lubricating the anus along with liberal lubrication of anything being inserted. Also, take time with foreplay to get become aroused and try to include some finger play to get the anus to relax. With that said, based on this author’s experience using enema or anal douche are not typically needed to manage discomfort.

Should anal sex toys be used?

From this author’s experience they can enhance the enjoyment. However for those who are just starting out, using toys should only be used once you learn how to manage the discomfort.

What toys would you recommend trying?

For those starting out I would recommend trying a butt plug designed for beginners. Typically they are smaller with a narrower circumference. This type of toy minimizes discomfort and is easily interted. Also I would recommend trying an anal dildo.

Why water based lubricant instead of the other forms of lubrication?

Water based lubricants will not breakdown a condom where others might.

How does anal sex fit into a threesome scenario

Using anal sex in a threesome can occur as a part of double penetration or between two people as the other watches.

What type of communication needs to occur for anal sex?

The couple / threesome needs the ability to discuss what works, what is comfortable, and being able to communicate comfort levels. Without being able to discuss what is working and comfort, enjoyable anal sex will be difficult.

If my husband / boyfriend want to try anal sex does it mean they are gay?

No it does not.

What are some of the risks of anal sex?

There is a small risk of pregnancy from anal sex, especially if vaginal penetration occurs or no condom is used.  Also there is a risk of STIs / STDs including HIV / AIDs and UTIs (urinary tract infections). Finally there is a risk of injury to the rectum and the surrounding structures (e.g. prostrate – men, bladder, urethra, colon, and vagina – women).

Related articles

• The Anal Sex Position Guide The Best Positions for Easy, Exciting, Mind-Blowing Pleasure (extratorrent.com)
• Anal Sex 101: Cleanliness (indigosoul7.wordpress.com)