7 steps of easing her into swinging or cuckolding

hotwifeHow can I convince her?

The Fantasy

What is attractive about the idea of her being with someone else? Is it being able to share her with someone else and watching her enjoy herself? Maybe it is having too small of penis to properly please her and having someone that is larger do something you are not able to do? Finally it might be the freedom of giving her a variety of lovers that fulfills her in different ways and ultimately improves your relationship with her. Regardless of the reason moving from fantasy to reality is never easy.

Step 1: Begins with you

Before bringing up the idea of cuckolding or having a threesome it is important to think through the idea and consider the consequences and the possible outcomes from the experience. Without thinking about it, discussing the idea will be difficult because you will not understand what you want from the experience.

Think for a moment what type of experience do you want?

Also think about the limits and boundaries you need to feel comfortable. For some just starting out there is a feeling having no boundaries is the best route since it allows for total exploration and I disagree with that approach. Each of us has limits that allows us to feel secure and without some basic boundaries, it opens the possibility of feelings being hurt.

Finally take a close look at your relationship and what a threesome will mean. Think about things such as:

  • Can you cope with seeing her being pleasured by someone else?
  • Can you cope with knowing she has been with someone else?
  • What feelings does envisioning her with someone else elicit?
  • What impact will it have on the relationship?
  • What are the possible outcomes from having a threesome or a cuckold?
  • If you are looking at something long-term, how will the relationship handle the various feelings that may arise?

Step 2: Introducing the idea in the bedroom

Talking about sharing your girlfriend or wife with someone else is never easy and it can elicit strong feelings. Sometimes it is better to start the discussion while it it abstract and done in a non-threatening way. Since you have thought about the idea and hopefully done some research, introducing the idea as a part of foreplay should be easy. Speaking from experience the role play does not have to elaborate. In my opinion, it is best to start slow and maybe ask her about her fantasies. Many women will stay they do not have one and I find this true. If she state she does not have fantasy then share your fantasy with her. Then slowly, in a calculated way, build on to the fantasy. If she begins showing an interest in the fantasy, it is important to remember there is a difference between the fantasy and reality.

Step 3: Securing the relationship

Preparing for a threesome or a cuckold will mean ensuring the relationship is strong enough to withstand the challenges it can bring. This means making a change to the relationship along with how you relate to her. A lot will depend on making her feel secure in the relationship and eliminating potential conflict that an experience such as cuckolding can bring.

Step 4: The Discussion

I found a good YouTube video on the topic and it might be worth watching.

By introducing the fantasy the discussion may happen organically but if it does not then, I believe after allowing the fantasy to develop, as a part of foreplay, being direct  is the best route. Reason, why I believe being direct is the best route. At this point she suspect you may want the fantasy and being subtle about it will only make her suspicious.  The discussion need to occur outside of the bedroom and when there is minimal distraction. It does not need to be long but it needs to be from the ‘heart.’ Also it needs to be done in a way that is reassuring and does not make her feel threatened. Be prepared for her being upset and be prepared that it will be a journey. Finally be prepared to negotiate and compromise.

Step 5: After the discussion

It is important that you are emotionally available to answer any questions that she may have and not to damage the discussion by negatively reacting to any outburst she may have from the discussion. It is important to recognize that this part may take months or even years before it resolves itself. Also it is important no to pressure her and give her ample time to process the information. It is possible you may get close to the threesome or cuckold then find her changing her mind. Allow it to happen and be supportive. Most likely it is a sign she is struggling with it and trying to work through it.

Step 6: Seek out opportunities

By now the fantasy is moving to a possibility. Seeking opportunities involves gauging where your spouse / girlfriend is at with the idea. If the appear hesitant but open to the idea then easing them into it might help Easing them is offering opportunities to do things that might help progress the idea without seeming threatening to them such as:

  • flirting with another man  / woman
  • wearing no panties under her skirt
  • going to a strip club  or lap dancing club together
  • watching threesome or cuckolding porn together
  • attend a swingers club to watch
  • giving a ‘hall pass’ or permission

Step 7: Resolution

At this point it either will happen or not. There is no way to convince someone to have a threesome or cuckold. The best that can be done is provide the opportunity and a supporting environment for it to happen. Then result will depend on our ability to community, negotiate, and to love her for who she is not what she can give to us.

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2 thoughts on “7 steps of easing her into swinging or cuckolding

  1. Pingback: Cuckolding is it right for me? | Threesomes and variations

  2. Pingback: 20 tweeters to follow | Threesomes and variations

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