A very good and short blog on the definition of monogamy Monogamy?.
A good and thought provoking blog. Hopefully some of my readers will reply to the questions.
Today, 19 April 2013, my interview regarding the book George and Melissa: The Adventure into the Unknown along with an interview with the two main characters, George and Melissa, will be on http://authorvsnelson.com/blog/
It is now live, http://authorvsnelson.com/blog/
Thank you Virginia Nelson.
Thank you to darkelaina who wanted information regarding planning a threesome on their own, the risks, using an online web site, and other information. This post is based on their questions.
Planning a threesome on your own for your partner and yourself is never easy. In some ways it is like planning a surprise threesome but in other ways it is different since you have your partner’s support. The purpose of this article is to address some of the issues, risks, and strategies involved in planning a threesome on your own. It is not meant to be a comprehensive discussion and it is not meant to be a formula to approach it. Instead it is meant to provide an opinion and highlight some issues.
I do not recommend sites because I feel each individual / couple needs to make the determination based on their needs, rather than relying on recommendations. Also a lot comes down to price, needs, interest, and the interest in your area for threesomes. This makes recommendations difficult since there is so much variability that a recommendation is difficult to make. Nonetheless I will give some general advice to help in the determination.
There is no magical formula for this situation and the best I can give is an opinion.
If the threesome involves your partner, yourself and an invited third person then this can be fairly straightforward. Assuming you meet the third person online a little bit of time should be taken to get to know each other. The level of knowledge about each, I believe, depends on the type of threesome being planned. Should this be either a soft-swap or full-swap threesome then very little needs to be known other than having enough information to make a decision if the person is a suitable candidate for a threesome.
After the decision is made to invite them for a threesome, one of two options exist. First option is having a meet and greet, whereby all three meet each but no sex occurs the first time. The time is used to get to know each other more and then make the decision if it is going to progress further.
Second option is allowing sex to occur during the first meeting. This is preferable for couples who have some experience or feel comfortable with the third person
Before the threesome occurs and if it has not already, the couple should discuss issues such as ensuring both of them have the same understanding of their boundaries, how will the time be divided, how attention should be given to the third person and any feelings / issues that have come up. Taking time to do this will help mitigate any potential misunderstanding that may occur.
Once the three come together for the threesome then things should proceed as fast as the person least comfortable. Drugs should not be used, alcohol kept to a minimum, and no one should be pressured into doing anything they do not want to do. Sometimes a slow transition such as playing a game like Twister, strip-poker, or giving a massage might help to transition to the threesome.
As the threesome begins foreplay should not be rushed but enjoyed. In a MFM the female should be in control and should direct the males how she wants to be pleased. The couple should adhere to their boundaries and should not deviate from them. The first time should not try to push limits but instead keep it simple. However, the situation is causing an issue then the threesome should be stopped, with no one becoming upset, and then at a later date decide if it should be retried.
At the surface this would imply if the female was in a relationship and the relationship is an open relationship. In such a situation this would imply either dogging or another group sex activity such as greedy-girl. The risk here is for her safety and it is ideal that her partner is there to watch in order to protect her. This could raise some issues regarding comfort and performance anxiety. However her safety is paramount to any uneasiness or anxiety that may occur.
Ideally some screen should occur either before meeting or before any sexual activity happens. Along with screening some time should be taken to speak with each male before having sex in order to relax and make them more familiar. If at any point anyone becomes uncomfortable then the activity should stop.
This can be a very dangerous situation and should be cautiously approached. Ideally the female should let someone know about her whereabouts and plan for her safety. She should avoid using any drugs and avoid any alcohol as it could put her at further risk. Also she should not do this impulsively, such as meeting two men at bar, but should do it in a controlled situation such as a swingers club that does not serve alcohol. Again, take the time to speak with both of them and only do what you are comfortable with.
In the above section I have talked about using an online site and some of the issues that go along with using them. In this section I am not going to repeat the information above and focus on other aspects.
Mitigation: Keep your partner updated about your progress and ask any questions that you feel is necessary. If you feel your partner my oppose something, is uncomfortable, or might agree to something then do not assume. As an alternative, take the time to update them and ask them about their level of comfort.
Mitigation: Talk about expectations with your partner that covers the whole spectrum from the type of person you will search for to acceptable behavior during the threesome.
Mitigation: The more discussions that occur along with some research the more likely realistic expectations can be set. If there are issues regarding insecurity or jealousy then it is important to consider if having a threesome is the right decision
Mitigation: Talk to your partner about helping out. Try to clarify needs and expectations.
Mitigation: This author believes the more the work is shared then the greater the chance the planned threesome will be successful
Mitigation: Without having discussions about what is being planned along with the limits to discussions and activities for the threesome then it may create a lot of problems later.
Mitigation: Examine the situation, identify potential risks, and find ways to mitigate those risks. Also, let someone know about your whereabouts if you are going to be participating in a threesome a lone.
In my opinion this type of threesome planning can lead some to believe in an erotic story threesome. Whereby a threesome is planned by one person and the two invited males ravish the female in utter delight. Also for the woman it can create the belief that she will be sexually satisfied because there will be two males there to please her, competing against each other for her attention, and she will be at the center of attention. Unfortunately reality is not always like the movies or books. Having a threesome can be quite anxiety provoking for both a man and a woman. However a male publicly shows his anxiety through his inability to maintain an erection and cumming very quickly. Plus having a threesome is fought with emotions and it can make even the most emotionally strongest become emotionally upset.
Another issue becomes planning. For some they may believe allowing one person to plan a threesome is better since it streamlines it. However a lot of input and discussion is lost thereby allowing a threesome to be planned with limited input. This can work in some situations but a lot of the time it lead to something being missed thereby creating issues.
Finally, a threesome regardless of the type, should not be seen as a panacea for problems in the relationship. I do not believe it will fix a relationship and it could make a relationship worse. However if it is a loving and stable relationship then most likely it will not damage it. It might help it by help each the couple appreciate each other and communicate better.
After much consideration, I have decided to make available for download the George and Melissa stories on Kindle. This means the stories are available together in e-book form. Also I have decided to offer two versions of the book. The regular version includes the stories and the expanded version also includes an introductory chapter that sets the basis for the story along with a concluding chapter.
In order to generate interest in the book I have kept the price down. If you enjoy the series or want to show support for this site, I would encourage you to download a copy.
If you are wondering, does this mean the end to the series? The short answer, is yes on this site. However, I may add stories to the Kindle addition or I may create another book in the series. Please note the links here are for Amazon in the US, which as I understand it includes India, and on the left there is a category ‘Book Sales’ that links with the Kindle books from several countries. Please select your country and if your country is not listed then please select the most appropriate country.