Your threesome journey must start with an internal debate


beachYou must convince yourself you want a threesome before persuading your partner to have a threesome

“How would you feel if I fucked George (not his real name)?” I can still remember that discussion about a cuckold and how it made me feel. I knew from an earlier discussion with my wife that conversation will occur and I was able to read the sign my relationship is heading in that direction. So, how did I did I prepare for the conversation?

To begin with, my preparation is not unlike someone who ask, how do I move my spouse / partner towards having a threesome? What can I do that subtle and does not put pressure on them? In preparing for that conversation, I believe that is the wrong question. I believe the question should be, what do I want from a threesome? Simply put, if you do not know what you want from a threesome then how can you expect to communicate it to your partner / spouse?

Having an enjoyable and successful threesome is dependent on each person’s ability to effectively communicate their need. Need in a threesome is very encompassing that can cover:

  • comfort level
  • what feels good
  • what does not feel good
  • feeling uncomfortable
  • a feeling
  • emotional security
  • physical security
  • trust
  • violation of trust
  • expectation
  • boundary / limit

without the ability to effectively communicate a need and understand what it can mean for you it is wrong to expect someone else to know.

In preparation for the conversation, I knew I had to think about topics such as:

  • What is my comfort limit?
  • Can I accept my decision to allow her to have sex with George?
  • What will it mean for my relationship?
  • Will I be able to grow from the experience or will it devastate me?
  • If it happens what will I need to feel secure?
  • How do I ensure her safety?

As I thought about the I soon discovered I was alright about the idea. Once the conversation began I stated I was happy with it provided:

  • It was a one-off situation
  • She did not stay over-night
  • Safe-sex was practiced
  • She told me what occurred

Now as I look back to that experience, I realize being able to communicate my need to her and the ability to have a loving relationship after 20+ years resided in my ability to understand my need before communicating it to her. Without examining the idea and debating it with myself I do not believe the experience would be as enjoyable as it was for me. Therefore, I believe before you can discuss the idea of having a threesome you need to understand what it means for you.

 

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7 thoughts on “Your threesome journey must start with an internal debate

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