Anal Sex Basics in FAQ format
How important is foreplay to anal sex?
This author believes it is quite important since it helps to ease any discomfort or pain. It also helps to make the anus pliable for penetration.
How can I get over the discomfort and pain anal sex causes?
The anus and rectum are not designed for sex. This means care needs to be taken not to injure the person. Preventing injury requires care is taken with insertion, the individual is properly relaxed, and the anus is properly stretched. As a result, anal sex is something that requires time, patience, and cannot be done as a ‘quickie.’
How do I relax / How do I get my partner to relax for anal sex?
Provided there is no medical reason try taking a deep breath followed by slowly exhaling. Doing this a few times might help. Another possible technique to try is liberally and often lubricating the anus along with liberal lubrication of anything being inserted. Also, take time with foreplay to get become aroused and try to include some finger play to get the anus to relax. With that said, based on this author’s experience using enema or anal douche are not typically needed to manage discomfort.
Should anal sex toys be used?
From this author’s experience they can enhance the enjoyment. However for those who are just starting out, using toys should only be used once you learn how to manage the discomfort.
What toys would you recommend trying?
For those starting out I would recommend trying a butt plug designed for beginners. Typically they are smaller with a narrower circumference. This type of toy minimizes discomfort and is easily interted. Also I would recommend trying an anal dildo.
Why water based lubricant instead of the other forms of lubrication?
Water based lubricants will not breakdown a condom where others might.
How does anal sex fit into a threesome scenario
Using anal sex in a threesome can occur as a part of double penetration or between two people as the other watches.
What type of communication needs to occur for anal sex?
The couple / threesome needs the ability to discuss what works, what is comfortable, and being able to communicate comfort levels. Without being able to discuss what is working and comfort, enjoyable anal sex will be difficult.
If my husband / boyfriend want to try anal sex does it mean they are gay?
No it does not.
What are some of the risks of anal sex?
There is a small risk of pregnancy from anal sex, especially if vaginal penetration occurs or no condom is used. Also there is a risk of STIs / STDs including HIV / AIDs and UTIs (urinary tract infections). Finally there is a risk of injury to the rectum and the surrounding structures (e.g. prostrate – men, bladder, urethra, colon, and vagina – women).
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