Is having a threesome necessary for cuckolding?


Peter Fendi, 1835

 

Is threesome experience necessary for cuckolding?

 

What is about cuckolding that draws us towards it? Is it giving control to someone else? Could it be incorporating a third person? It could having your partner coming home after being ‘filled’ by another guy and the relationship dynamics around it?  Maybe it is an activity that is not well known and it has an air of mystery around it? Whatever the reason it is something that attracts some couples and it raises the question, what is the best way to have your first cuckold experience?

 

As I prepared myself to write this, I thought to myself, is there a difference between having your first couple cuckolding or cuckolding experience? At first I thought, yes and I prepared to write why I believed this was the situation. Then I realized regardless of the path the result is the same, one partner having sex with someone else. This brought me back to an underlying theme in my writing, advocating any couple considering cuckolding should have a threesome experience together.

 

For a couple that is just starting their journey into the world of group sex, it is difficult to anticipate the feelings involved, communication required and every potential outcome. There is a lot of effort that goes into having a threesome and much more work is required for a cuckold. Understanding what is required for a cuckold, I believe, means having some group sex experience (e.g. soft-swinging, threesome, foursome, etc)

 

Most of us would not buy a home without doing some research, viewing other homes, and then making a decision of buying the home that best suits our needs. Likewise the same principle applies to cuckolding. Blindly entering cuckolding without understanding what is involved, at a minimum is risky and at its worse it can lead to a negative life altering change.

 

The is an argument even if the couple experiences a threesome together, it will not fully prepare them for a cuckold. Cuckolding involves more than having a threesome. It involves a deeper level of trust, a commitment to the relationship, and requires the couple having a more evolved form of communication. This means there is an experience gap between having a threesome and a cuckold; however the gap is much greater for someone who has never had a group sex experience and is trying a cuckold for their first time.

 

Does this mean if a couple never has a group sex experience their cuckold experience is doomed to fail? No, since there is no way to predict if a threesome, group sex experience, or a cuckold will fail. Nonetheless this author is advocating by having a group sex experience together, they are better able to gauge if a cuckold will work for them and better understand the potential issues they may face. By understanding the challenges a couple can make a more informed decision and make better plans in order to minimize any potential damage a cuckold may cause. Finally to answer the question, is having a threesome necessary for cuckolding? The answer is no but this author believes, it better prepares the couple for their cuckolding experience.

 

 

 

Polyamory: Is It For You?


For those of you who are interested in the topic of polyamory or are considering it, then this article is for you. It is a very well written article on the subject and explores the topic of determining if polyamory is right for you. I strongly recommend taking the time to read this excellent article.

Polyamory: Is It For You?.

via Polyamory: Is It For You?.

Cuckolding and the power of sloppy seconds


IMG_8628 updated

Sloppy Seconds a curse or a great benefit?

Introduction

Earlier today I was reading an excellent blog about ‘sloppy seconds’. It started me thinking about my own experience with the topic and how I define it. To begin with, the author in the article uses the term, ‘sloppy seconds, liberally. ‘Sloppy seconds,’ as I understand the author’s definition refers to a  man who is second to have sex with a woman after another man finishes having with her and then  uses a sex toy before having sex with her.

Whereas my experience with ‘sloppy seconds, is where a woman after she has, in most cases, gone bareback with another man then goes on to have more sex with a different man. As a result of already having sex she is ‘stretched’ and has cum leaking out of her. Since she is having sex with another man she has not bathed in between lovers and the second gets to experience her much more fully. Regardless of how the term is defined, it can carry very a negative connotation with it but if you become confident enough in yourself, it can be a very powerful experience.

If I wanted to write a thesis on the topic by using the definition by the author and discuss the numerous times using a large vibrator and how it felt to fuck her her wide pussy from it. In my opinion, this would make reading about those experiences quite boring. Instead I will reflect on the few times where we have invited another man to join us or to allow her to have sex on her own.

Experiencing ‘Sloppy Seconds’

For Me

It is difficult to put into words the sheer excitement sharing you spouse can bring along with the devastating crippling fear too. Nonetheless when it is my turn to enjoy her after being enjoyed by another man it was an experience that stimulated all of the senses. Nothing can compare to the musk smell, after sex. It is a powerful smell that is not easily masked. Someone on the street might find it repulsive. However when she is laying there naked with her legs spread and tells you how she was fucked by him, the smell is more intoxicating than alcohol. The smell fills the room like incense. Unlike incense it lingers for a few days.

Visually when I look at her labia they are redden and swollen from already having sex. Her vagina is visually wider with whisker burns of where he was on her. Depending on how long she had sex sometimes I am able to see cum leaking out of her.

Then when I finger her there is a sticky feeling and sometimes back-flow still leaks out. Having sex is quite different. Entering is a lot smoother due to her being wet from cum and she is not necessarily wider. Instead I would say she is stretched, which is a totally different feeling. While I play in my mind the events that just occurred, experiencing every type of possible emotion. From worrying about what just occurred to sheer excitement over just occurred. It is a flurry of emotions that took days, afterwards, for it to settle. From my experience she is still horny from the experience and does not want to spend a lot of time in foreplay.

For Her

Having sex with someone else is a mix for her. She gets enjoys having someone else fuck her and then come home to have sex with me telling me about the experience. It provides her such a large release and I believe it gives her some power. The downside to it for her, the experience is quite powerful and she does not want to get hurt.

Finally

In my opinion it is easy to understand the negative connotation of the word. ‘Sloppy seconds’ puts the second male in the position of having to compare himself to another male who just enjoyed the woman in front of him. For a man who lacks confidence, it can be quite a daunting intimidating. For the man that has enough confidence in themselves and their relationship, it can be a drug more powerful than any known drug available. The power of ‘sloppy seconds’ can be something that obliterates the confidence of a man who lacks self-esteem thereby destroying his relationship or it can be a glue that cements a relationship. Only time can tell which one it will be and planning such an experience needs to be done cautiously.

Two-fer Tuesday: Threesome Etiquette PLUS What Should I do with My Wedding Ring?


Interesting article that focuses on approaching a friend and stranger for a threesome. While I would not describe having a threesome as polyamory, as this author does, nonetheless I quite enjoyed this author’s writing style to discuss the subject. It is a great article well worth the time to read.

Two-fer Tuesday: Threesome Etiquette PLUS What Should I do with My Wedding Ring?.

via Two-fer Tuesday: Threesome Etiquette PLUS What Should I do with My Wedding Ring?.

Profile of swingers


I found this to be a very interesting article regarding swingers. It also contains stats and a link to another article. Overall I think it does a good job with the topic.

My question for those who follow me, do you agree agree with the statements in the article? Do you have different experiences?

EroticZeitgeist

I have already written a blog about the profile of swingers. But Dr. Edward Fernandez presented his latest research on the subject on the Annual Alternative Sexualities Conference in San Francisco September 2013 and I will give you the main points from his studies as well.

Swingers are people who live in an emotional monogamous relationship but who have consensual sex with other people than their partner. Facts on swingers:

musical_faces–          About 70% are between 25 and 55 years old. Women are a bit younger than the men.

–          Many women are either bisexual or bi-curious

–          85% are either married or cohabiting with a partner

–          Twice as many women (14%) as men (7%) report swinging on a weekly basis

–          Swingers have a higher average education level than the population in general

–          Swingers represents all walk of life both in term of job types and political…

View original post 265 more words

Perception and cheating


updatedHow do we define cheating?

An interesting article in the April 2013 Journal of Evolutionary Psychology concerning perception of cheating. They found the more intimate a behavior the more likely it is to be perceived as cheating.

The application of this article to threesomes is twofold. First it addresses the underlying behavior that leads to defining an activity as cheating. This can be important for a couple who is exploring the idea and working to understand how they define cheating. Second, it helps with the understanding if a boundary is violated, the type of behavior that may lead to the other feeling as though cheating has occurred.

Finally this article is an academic paper that may not be for everyone. However if you enjoy reading research into sexual practices then this may be something worth reading. To access the article you will need to click on the link and scroll to the bottom of the page then click on the .pdf link for the article.

Vacation options for finding threesomes


IMG_8082Threesome Traveling Options

Note to readers

Since this is a free site and I do not advertise, this article will not contain direct links to sites that offer the services described. Nonetheless if readers what to share their experience or wish to recommend places based on direct personal experience then please do so.

Introduction – vacation / holiday offers a great opportunity for a threesome

There is no better time then taking time off of work for a vacation (US term) / holiday (UK term) and pursue a threesome. Even if the break amounts to nothing more than a weekend get-away or a short break. Such an opportunity provides the chance to experience a threesome and minimize the chance of a emotional entanglement especially if the place is at least a few hundred miles away. Best time is when the children are left at home with a sitter.

Forums offer great insight

There are a few UK sites where members share their experiences on holiday and such sites provide great insight into where to look. I believe one of the larger swinging lifestyle web sites also has stories where people went on vacation for their threesome experience.

Avoid Children Friendly and family friendly places

On the surface this may appear a great way to meet someone who is stressed out from a long day with the kids who might be open to a quickie. Likewise it might seem that a couple who are out relaxing while the kids are asleep might be open to the idea. Most of the time this is not the case and adults with children tend not to be interested in threesome activity. My own feeling this is due to the couple, the reason for the trip, and not wanting the expose their children to the potential that might occur if it did happen.

Look for code words such as Adult, romantic getaways or swinger friendly venues

Take time to closely read the description and look for clues in the description. Sometimes words like adult is used. Adult in this context means the place does not cater to families and depending on the locality it may either restrict ages of children or not allow them. Likewise searching for swinger vacations / holidays or romantic holidays / vacation may also provide opportunities.

Since a place may cater to adults, swingers, or it may provide a romantic place, it does not mean finding a threesome will be guaranteed. Instead it means the chance of finding someone interested probably increase. However a lot comes down to clientele at the time, the time of year, your approach, and the type of threesome being sought.

Location

Sometimes going to certain places or method of travel might increase your chances. One place that is probably conducive to a threesome would be staying at a mid-strip hotel in Vegas on a Friday or Saturday night.

Likewise the opportunity may happen unexpectedly. My example is taking a ferry to Amsterdam on a Friday night. We had the opportunity but due to the early arrival of the ferry and the small size of the cabin we decided against it. The ferry company we travelled with does not actively promote themselves as a family friendly carrier and believe because we were traveling on a Friday when it was full, it had a lot do with it.

How do you identify potential vacation / holiday destinations?

Best way is by reviewing travel sites and travel company sites. Search specifically for adult and if the company caters to swingers then look under the term swinger too. Typically these holidays / vacations run higher than average due to a large part of the market is being excluded, families with children. Another option to look for adult friendly places that do not advertise for families. Examples of such places and time of the year includes:

  • Four star hotels
  • Five star hotels
  • Areas that do not promote to children / families (e.g. Ibiza, Spain)
  • Cruises / ferries that do not promote to children / families
  • When children are generally in school. It is also a time of year when less traveling tends to occur.

Conclusion

Having a threesome on holiday / vacation offer the opportunity to have a threesome will mitigating the risk the invited third person will become an unnecessary drag on the relationship. There are many places to find a potential travel areas for a threesome. Threesome forums, the internet, and travel sites can provide fresh insight into possible locations. Finding a threesome when on vacation will take planning, timing, and some luck. If you are planning to take a vacation / holiday to look for a threesome plan on enjoying the time with your significant other and if it happens then it will only add to the enjoyment.