10 things you should know about having a threesome but were afraid to ask

Introduction

Over the last few years I have seen progress being made regarding the acceptance of threesomes but we still have a long ways to go before it is accepted as mainstream. There are still a lot of couples who approach having a threesome with very little knowledge and not sure what is involved. Below are a few questions regarding threesomes and over the coming weeks I plan to add more to it.

1) They show interest in having a threesome in the bedroom, does it mean they will agree to have a threesome?

No. Saying you want a threesome during foreplay, during sex, or immediately afterwards is no indication of there interest. Why?

From the start of foreplay our resistance to suggestions lowers because of the state of arousal and the closeness we feel to our partner. As arousal increases resistance further decreases and using of fantasies to further increase arousal continues until climax. After climaxing there is a period time the euphoria from sex continues and this, I believe, allows bonding to occur.

Once sex ends we continue with our daily lives and face the challenges it presents to us. Essentially when interest in having a threesome is expressed it about the fantasy not reality.

2) They have said they will agree to a mfm threesome if I agree to a fmf threesome. Should I agree?

No. Quid-pro-quo, sometimes referred to as ‘something for something’ is a risky situation that requires a lot of trust and very detailed knowledge of your partner. A downfall of this type of agreement occurs after the first threesome and the other does not want to have another threesome. Many times this leads to hurt feelings and conflict in the relationship because there is a feeling of violation of a trust that exists.

A better solution is reaching an agreement on having a threesome then after the first threesome experience evaluating it to determine if it is possible to have another. If it is possible to have another threesome then discuss needs and desires.

3) Should I find someone and surprise them with a threesome?

Again the answer is no. Surprise threesomes rarely work and in most cases they can be quite embarrassing because cues were misread. Instead obtain your partner’s / spouse’s agreement about searching for a threesome for them on your own.

4) They have said no to a threesome. What Should I do?

If someone says no to you, what do you do? In most cases we either ask for feedback or forget about it. Asking for a threesome is the same. If you decide it is not worth pursuing then that is a choice. However, if you ask for feedback there is a few reasons why and sometimes your spouse / partner may not share it. A few of the reasons might include:

• Wrong approach used
• Goes against their beliefs
• Timing was wrong
• Misread cues from your partner
• They may be open to the idea but your suggestion was no in line with what they were expecting / wanting
• It is something they need to consider
• Not enough trust due to length of relationship or ongoing relationship issues
• Underlining relationship issues
• View it as cheating
• Afraid to be with someone else because of their limited sexual experiences

Should you choose to ask for feedback it will help you gauge the next step and it will help with communication in the relationship. If a conversation about having a threesome can begin then it is possible that sometime in the future it might occur.

5) How Can I convince them to have a threesome?

There are web sites that claim you convince your spouse / partner to have a threesome but I believe there is no method that will convince them. At the heart of the matter, they must want to have a threesome and if they firmly oppose having a threesome then it is unlikely they will ever agree to have one.

The one thing that you have is time. Time changes everything. Initially may be resistant to the idea but over time their resistance softens. Another weapon in your arsenal is behavior. Relationship security can be a big hurdle for a threesome. Changing they way you relate to your partner and making time for them may be all that is needed. This means convincing them is more about being supportive and providing a channel for discussion than employing a technique to magically get them to agree.

6) They have said yes to the having a threesome, what is our next step?

There are two steps that need to occur almost simultaneously. First step is setting boundaries, which is discussed later in this article. Second is finding the third person. Once discussion on boundaries begins finding the third person should occur. Finding the third person should be a joint effort because it will require each of you agreeing to the choice. How the searching is done is your decision. Once you find them it is important to do some screening and asking them questions. Finally during this time it is important to review boundaries, discuss feelings, and discuss comfort level to ensure no issues that can hurt the relationship arise.

7) Do we need boundaries?

Yes. Boundaries build trust that allows the threesome to occur. They reduce the chance hurt feelings or arguments arise. Some will say they do not need boundaries because they want their partner to choose what they want to experience only to find later they did not consider ‘X’ will happen. Boundaries do not need to be complex and they do not need to be detailed. Instead can be a few rules that everyone has the same understanding that define the threesome.

There are three types of boundaries that need discussing. First, relationship boundaries. Relationship boundaries relate to how the relationship will handle having a threesome. In my situation our relationship boundary regards not using the experience against the other. Meaning, it is a mutual decision that we both make and will not blame the other.

Second type of boundary are threesome boundaries. These will be boundaries that relate to the threesome and will change a In the beginning they should be basic and be specific. While avoiding having too many or boundaries that conflict.

Third type of boundary are implied boundaries. Implied related to expectations, acceptable acts, and acts in the threesome that are off limits. They are implied because it will impossible to go through every possible scenario and impossible to comprehend every possible scenario. Therefore assumptions must be made and if there is going to be an argument regarding boundaries then there is a good chance this will be the type of boundary causing the conflict.

8) How do we find someone that is interested?

Finding a woman interested in a threesome can be a bit challenging, especially if you are looking for a single straight female. However if you are looking for a male the time needed is much shorter. With the boom in mobile and cellular phones finding someone for a threesome is becoming easier. There are applications for your phone and tablet. Websites that focus on threesomes, foursomes, and dating. Also there are swingers clubs, munches, and other similar type of activities that occur in public. Finally if you are open to the experience sometimes finding someone can occur at the most unlikely places.

9) What is it like watching them having sex?

The two of you can discuss feelings, signal for discomfort, and how it might impact the both of you; however until it happens no one will have an idea. For some it is the most erotic experience. Watching someone else pleasing their partner as they participate. Others it is quite possibly the worst experience of their life. Most likely it will fall somewhere in between the two extremes.

If the two of you communicate and have a good relationship then it is reasonable to expect some fear along with a lot of excitement. Should this be your first experience then you may have issues with being comfortable communicating in all situations. This may mean letting the invited person know how they can help increase your enjoyment may be difficult thereby not being able to get the most from the experience.

10) Can you enjoy sloppy seconds in a threesome?

Yes. If you are participating and you all the invited male to have sex with your wife / girlfriend first. Be aware she might be a bit uncomfortable and may want you to only to have sex with her. Talk with her before the threesome. Then watch her reaction and listen for cues regarding her comfort level.

Other articles of interest

Easing into Cuckolding or Swinging

How to plan and manage a threesome using a checklist

Having the initial discussion

Moving beyond the initial conversation

Using quid-pro-quo as a negotiating position for a threesome

Questions for the third person

Threesome stages

Threesome Terminology

Defining Cheating

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I Used To Be A Unicorn

Another great article from theshitshowthatismylife. She candidly speaks about unicorns, the difficulty finding one for a threesome, and how finding a bisexual woman does not necessary mean she is interested in a heterosexual couple. This is a great article for any couple searching for a second woman for their threesome.

I Used To Be A Unicorn.

via I Used To Be A Unicorn.

Single woman seeking a threesome: risks and benefits

Introduction

Due to family, work, and other commitments, I have been slow in responding to a request. The reader’s inquiry is about a single woman who are interested in having a threesome. To begin with finding a single woman interested in a threesome is not easy due to, from my experience, a woman is interested in the idea after being in a stable, secure, and loving relationship. Even if you can find a woman interested in having a threesome, I believe, the ratio is about 100 men interested in a threesome for every one woman that is interested.

Selection

For some it may sound that a single bisexual woman might be ideal and in my opinion, this is probably rarely the case since  a bisexual woman having a threesome with a heterosexual couple is not interrelated. In my opinion, a woman interested in a threesome would probably be either a single professional woman who does not have the time for a relationship or a woman in some variation of an open relationship.

Where to look

I normally do not advocate asking friends, co-workers, business associates, or acquaintances due to the risk involved. There are some good free resources in the UK that provide limited access for those living in the UK and to a lesser extent Europe. The US has probably two good free sites for threesomes. This raises the question about searching online ad sites and newspapers. In my opinion, I would be cautious about using ad sites that charge. If you join a site that charges take advantage of any free trials that they offer before committing. Joining a site a financially possible but if you join several sites then the cost can become prohibitive very quickly. My advice is to read through the Terms of Service, understand how you will be charged, and ensure there is enough profiles for your area.

This raises the question of fake profiles and how to know if it is fake. The best approach is to be cavalier in your approach, which means do not pin your hopes to one profile waiting for a reply or not contact others because you feel a commitment to someone. Also it means keep your perspective and do not get sidetracked. Remember the site you are on is finding a woman for a threesome, which means you are not there to make friends or to support causes. Instead contact many, reply to all inquiries, and do not allow yourself to become attached.

A third place you can try is a swinger’s club but be forewarn at least half of the couples there are at the club for the same reason as you. If a single woman does show up then you will be competing with them for her. Finally a fourth place to try is some for of social. These tend to be off-premise, no sex occurring, events and tend to be an event where like minded people meet. This can get you some insight of who might be interested in a threesome and where are the best places to look in your area.

Meeting and Threesome

All of us unique and it is not possible to have a generic approach. Nonetheless it is important to remember, if you do have a meeting with a woman for a threesome there is probably a 1,000 couples she could have agreed to meet. In many ways it is different than having a threesome with a male and if not handled correctly it can lead to her becoming a third wheel in your relationship.  Also it means you will have to keep her interest and go at her pace.

At some point the topic of sex will come up. This means at least two separate conversations must occur. First conversation must occur between the couple discussing their boundaries including the limits of involvement with the other woman and how the attention is to be apportioned. Second conversation, that occurs after the first, regards how the threesome will operate and the requirements of the invited woman.

Up to this point all three have been interacting socially in a non-sexual way. As the threesome approaches it is likely feelings will be brought up and insecurities. There is one school of thought on this that states the invited woman should be more submissive than the woman in the relationship. I do not believe this is always necessary but I do believe communication along with trust must exist for the threesome to work.

Conclusion

Web sites, swingers clubs, and socials all offer opportunities to meet potential partners. However, it is important to think about safety and not get too attached since the search is about finding a compatible partner. As you search the reality becomes searching for a woman that is interested in a threesome is not easy and it can take a long time of searching and during this time it is important to have a clear understanding with your partner about the limits of the encounter. Once you find a potential partner  approaching the threesome is not like having a threesome with two males. Instead it is a more egalitarian situation with her having power due to the limited supply of single women interested in having a threesome and the potential risk of her become attached, if it is not handled correctly. With patience, communication, and a clear expectation of boundaries having a two woman threesome can be quite enjoyable.

Related articles

• What does relationship mean in a threesome? (3somes.wordpress.com)

Discretly finding the third person

In the beginning

Having this site I do receive bountiful number of questions that get asked to which I will personally reply but this question asks two very fundamental questions that I feel is best answered by writing an article. It is my hope this helps others who have similar questions.

First question, how do they find a third person without announcing it.

Second how do you find someone without going into the party scene?

Why is the party scene bad for a newbie

The questions are similar enough that I will answer second question, regarding finding someone, first. To begin with, each option carries a degree of risk that can be managed if enough thought is put into the meeting and safety is considered. This does not mean it will be 100% safe or be uneventful. Instead it means careful planning can improve safety and increase the chance of having an enjoyable experience.

When looking for a threesome probably the worst place you can look is the party scene. The party scene can involve drugs and alcohol making a horrible combination for a threesome. Also, the party scene is not the best place for a couple just starting out because it requires communication and decisions being made very quickly. It is not impossible for someone to be successful at a party but like anything else, some learning needs to occur. By not having some experience, cues can be missed or misinterpreted. As a result it can lead to misunderstanding, missed opportunities, or breaching an agreed boundary. In my opinion, unless the couple knows someone who will act as a guide for them then it is better for them to develop their threesome skills before trying a party.

Swingers Clubs

Swingers club does offer a better option. There are variety of sources for finding a swingers club. Most swingers clubs because of alcohol licensing laws and adult entertainment law are BYOB (Bring your own bottle).  Meaning they do not serve alcohol and tend to have strict rules regarding drug use. Depending on the club, they can be a very welcoming and supportive place for a couple just starting out.

Nonetheless, swingers clubs are expensive. Costs can include buying the right dress since many clubs will not allow jeans and sneakers. If you live in a rural, sparsely populated area, or in the suburbs driving may become a factor. In very sparsely populated areas driving time to travel to to a club may be several hours. Finally a swingers club, like a party, requires solid social skills that need to be learned.

Online

Dating Websites and Threesome Websites

Many couples take their introduction into the world of wife sharing and group sex by going slower while protecting your privacy is using an online dating web site. that provide several advantages.

• Allows creating an alias to protect identity and to limit information being provided
• Replies can be screened
• Speed of reply is set by the member.
• Provides a medium to ask questions
• A greater opportunity for communication and a greater opportunity for global discussions about taking the ‘plunge’ into having a threesome.
• Greater control
• More opportunity to communicate with the potential third person

In essence, it gives you to control about who you speak with and the speed at which you develop enough information to decide if having a threesome with the individual is practical.

A major drawback can be the expense along with the time needed. This is especially true if the search includes a single bisexual female, sometimes called a unicorn. A second drawback is people tend to create an online facade and it will take some time in order to break through that facade in order to understand the real person and once you meet them they may not be the person whom they say they are.

Amateur Photo Sites

Along with or as an alternative to using a sites designed for threesomes are amateur photo sites. Similar rules apply for creating an alias but on these sites it is better if you do not advertise you are looking for a threesome. Generally speaking using an amateur photo web site is a great choice if you are wanting a soft-swing experience by using photos or having a web cam experience.

These sites tend to create a voyeur experience and it may mean you have to invest a bit more time since the individual may think you are trying to create a threesome fantasy for them instead of a real experience. Plus you may have to spend some extra time doing some vetting and building up a relationship to have a threesome because individuals tend to want the fantasy of having a threesome instead of actually having one.

Holiday Vacation

Third option might be having a threesome while on holiday / vacation. This is an excellent option if privacy is an issue, job is an issue, or if developing feelings for the third person will become an issue. By having a threesome while away will protect your privacy, limit involvement, and can lower resistance to the idea since the risk of someone finding out is low.

The drawback to this option is the expense involved because such an option requires traveling several hundred or several thousand miles for this option to be effective.

Cellular Mobile Phone Applications

Fourth option as technology changes there are more options to find someone outside of the normal channels. I am reading some sites are developing apps for phones. Since these apps or still either in development or in their infancy it is very difficult to comment on them. The only thing I will say at this moment is be careful in regard to safety and security. This means doing your research on the app before installing it.

In answer to the second question of how to find someone without using the party scene? There are least four ways to be discrete about finding the third person. The choice comes down to your level of comfort, the risk you are willing to take, the expense, and which method best fits your needs.

Second question how to approach the third person without offending them?

Approaching someone regarding a threesome is at a minimum anxiety provoking and at the worse it can be deathly frightening because of degree of emotional vulnerability. This means in order to have a threesome you need to be gregarious and confident. A couple that is socially awkward may find themselves may miss opportunities because they are too afraid to say anything because they are afraid offending the other person or fear being rejected. If having a threesome important enough then becoming outgoing enough to let the other know your boundaries, preferences, and dislikes will happen.

The secret is following basic rules of etiquette, communicate, and be a gracious host. Spend time listening to the third person instead of talking too much or trying too hard. If time is taken to observe while listening and responding accordingly then there is little that will offend the third person.

With that said, having a threesome requires trust, communication, and a willingness to explore; this normally leads to a relaxation of social rules to allow a discussion regarding the threesome. Also it allows each person’s social guard to be lowered thereby allowing for sharing to occur. In the event a couple can be good socially then things ideally should fine.

What does this mean for the couple? If they are in a situation where it is implied the meeting is a threesome / group sex then it is implied the reason why everyone is there is to have sex. However if it is more intimate such as arranging a meeting to discuss the idea then the discussion needs to be a bit more delicate especially if the third person is not aware of the couple’s interest in having a threesome. In a situation where the third person is not aware of the couple’s interest then the best way is to be direct about their interest. Alluding to the idea or using euphemisms will only lead to confusion thereby making having a threesome difficult.

Final Thought

In answering the second question, the best way not to offend the third person is to be open and honest about your needs. This means being assertive and  not doing something that makes you uncomfortable in order to please the third person. It may also mean finding situations where it is assumed that people are looking for a group sex experience like a threesome thereby removing some of the uncertainty regarding if the third person is seeking a similar experience.

Related articles

• FAQs – Finding a third person (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Frequently Asked questions about choosing a third person for a threesome (3somes.wordpress.com)
• FAQs about threesomes for couples – Part 2 (3somes.wordpress.com)
• FAQs about boundaries (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Swingers (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Writing an ad – Advice for single males (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Threesome Terminology (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Polyamory vs. Threesomes (3somes.wordpress.com)

Threesome Terminology

Accommodating:

At minimum accommodating is arranging a location to have a threesome and typically means providing a place for your threesome guest(s) to spend the night. Normally this is the same bed or guest bedroom if the threesome occurs at a home. If the threesome occurs at a hotel then it means paying for the hotel room.

BDSM:

A consensual sexual practice that involves the use of power and control in order to elicit sexual enjoyment for both involved. The acronym covers multiple types of sexual practices that share a lot of commonality. This means each practice is not mutually exclusive and shares common characteristics with other BDSM practices.

B/D – Bondage / Discipline

This practice involves the use physical restraints, rewards, and ‘punishments’ in order to elicit the desired behavior. It can be as simple as using a pink fuzzy pair of handcuffs or as intricate as training.

Bondage:

Involves the use of restraints such as handcuffs and ties

Discipline:

Used to teach “acceptable behavior”

D/S – Domination / Submission:

Cuckolding tends to fall under this heading in cases where humiliation is a part of activity. Domination / submission can involve the use of disciple or S/M; however the structure is about one individual submitting to the will of the other. In cuckolding an example might be the male wearing penis restraint in order to prevent him from feeling pleasure and his wife having sex with other males, called bulls. In certain circumstances the female withholds sex from her primary partner, sometimes for months, in order raise his sexual enjoyment.

Domination:

It is the one in control and directing the play. In a cuckolding / cuckqueaning situation it is the one who is going out having sex.

Submission / Submissive:

The one who is following and in a cuckolding situation it is the one who is abstaining from sex.

S/M – Sado-machoism:

Use of pain, such as whips, in order to elicit pleasure.

Bi-curious / bi-curious:

Term used to describe an individual who has an interest in same sex activity; however they have limited or no experience.

Bareback:

Sex without a condom

Bi-sexual / bisexual:

An individual who is capable of forming relationship with either gender. However their interest in same-sex activity will vary overtime.

Bull:

A term used to describe the chosen male in a cuckold situation. Typically this term is associated with couples that pursue cuckolding along BDSM lines and the bull is the man, outside of the relationship, that is having sex with woman.

Boundaries:

There are two types of boundaries, relationship and threesome. Relationship boundaries are the boundaries that define how the relationship will handle the threesome (e.g. not to use it against the other / accepting it is a mutual decision). Whereas threesome boundaries define the limits and the structure of the threesome.

Cheating Wife:

Another term for cuckolding.

Couple Cuckolding:

A form of cuckolding whereby the experience is not about domination / humiliation nor involving some form of BDSM. Instead it is a mutual decision whereby, typically the female, has sex with someone else alone on a one time or limited basis. Such an experience is arousing for both and something they can both share.

Cuckolding:

Means the female is the one who is taking the “dominating” role or is the one who is having sex with someone else outside of the relationship. This author believes there are two forms of cuckolding one that involves BDSM in particular Domination / Submission with elements of humiliation and another version that follows more along the lines of an open relationship whereby the male partner remains monogamous.

Cuckqueaning :

Feminine version of cuckolding whereby it is the male who takes on the “dominating” role and this form appears to be less common the cuckolding.

Dogging:

A practice that is common in England, whereby a couple has sex in public, typically in their car or in a secluded area. If there are others in the area they will invite someone to watch them or participate. Normally the areas are not well known and tend to be areas that afford the participants some privacy.

DP:

Sexual position used in a mmf threesome whereby one male penetrates the woman’s vagina while the other penetrates her anally. A less typical form of DP involves both males penetrating the woman’s vagina at the same time.

Emotional Monogamy:

Couple remains emotionally exclusive to each other and will have threesomes together. The focus of the threesome is not forming an emotional relationship with the third person and the focus for the couple is the physical enjoyment of sex. Typically couples who want to remain emotionally monogamous to each other will participate in soft-swinging, full threesome, and cuckolding if it is done for as a one-off situation.

Friend with Benefits:

This activity shares common characteristics with threesomes and has been included in the discussion. Friends with benefits is arguably a secondary open relationship and is defined by the friends being able to enter into other relationships. The friendship and sex being about pleasure are the defining characteristics of the relationship. As long as the friends are able to maintain their friendship without developing an emotional attachment the relationship can continue. However, once feelings begin to develop the friends must decide to either develop the friendship into becoming a committed couple or end it.

Full Threesome / Threesome:

Term used to describe three people of legal age and having capable of giving consent having consensual sex.

Hetroflexible:

Term used to describe someone who is heterosexual but has the ability to have limited sexual encounters with someone of the same gender.

Host:

Person(s) making the arrangements for a threesome

Invited third person:

A person not a part of the relationship that is invited to join a couple for a threesome.

Lifestyle:

A term used to describe a couple or an single person that incorporates some type of group sex (e.g. threesome, wife swapping, orgy, etc) into their sexual repertoire. Essentially the practices becomes a part of their lives.

Ménage da Trios:

Translation means love of threes and it is sometimes incorrectly used to describe threesomes. A ménage da trios threesome involves three people being in a relationship together and it is a variation of a threesome.

Monogamy:

A closed relationship whereby sex only occurs between the couple.

Munches:

An event where people who share similar interests in group sex (e.g. threesomes, foursomes, etc) come together to socialize and make new contacts. It is not meant as a venue for sex, like a swingers club, and is meant as a way to meet people who share similar interests.

Negotiated Infidelity:

Is a term that is interchangeably used to describe threesome, foursome, and any other group sex activity. There are some, including this author, who prefer not to use this term since it implies that any form of group sex activity involves infidelity and implies infidelity is agreeable in the relationship because it is negotiated. This author believes that as long as any group sex activity occurs within the boundaries the couple has agreed then no infidelity has occurred.

Off Premise / Off Premise Club:

A gathering / event where the opportunity to meet people who share similar interests in group sex but no sex at the premise occurs. These take various forms such as munches or regular meetings at the same place.

On Premise /On Premise Club:

A venue where group sex occurs, such as a swingers club.

One-Off:

Term used to describe a threesome that only occurs once with the invited third person

Open Relationship:

There are two parts to an open relationship a primary relationship that involves the couple who agrees to open their relationship and normally takes priority over any secondary relationship. Secondary relationship is a relationship whereby emotional attachment is formed with someone outside of the primary relationship. In addition an open relationship can take two forms whereby one remains monogamous and this is typically seen in a cuckolding situation or where both members of the couple form relationships with people outside of the relationship. In order for an open relationship to work and not destroy the primary relationship, it requires a lot of communication, negotiating, and boundaries.

Physical Monogamy:

Couple who do not have sex with someone outside of their relationship. However, depending on their definition of soft-swinging, soft-swinging maybe practiced while keeping the couple physically monogamous.

Polyamory:

Can take on many forms and involve more than three people. However, when it regards threesomes it involves all three being equals in the relationship.

Primary Relationship:

A married couple or a couple in a committed relationship.

Relationship:

Developing a physical and emotional attachment with another person for the purpose of having a sex that goes beyond having a one off or limited sexual encounter.

Reconnecting:

Process by which a couple reestablish their physical and emotional bonds that they shared prior to the threesome. This does not mean their bonds will be identical prior to the threesome. It does mean the bonds will be reestablished but may be different after the threesome.

Same page:

Having the same understanding. Secondary Relationship: A term used to describe a sexual relationship that is formed outside of the primary relationship.

Slut:

Has three definitions: societal, dictionary, and lifestyle. Society’s definition is used as a derogatory term to mean a woman who is ‘easy.’ The dictionary definition implies a woman who has multiple partners and / or multiple relationships at the same time, akin to a threesome, cuckold, menage de trios, or open relationship. Whereas the lifestyle definition builds on the dictionary definition. It used as an empowering term describing a woman who is not bound by society’s limitation and chooses multiple partner’s at the same time. I have seen it used, on occasion,  to describe a woman who has a threesome but more of the time I have seen it used in the context of a woman who cuckold’s her boyfriend / husband.

Soft-swinging:

A male is invited to interact with the couple but intercourse does not occur with the invited male. This implies if a m-f couples invites a female for a fmf threesome where the male watches soft-swinging is not occurring.

Soft-swap:

Another term for soft-swinging.

Split Roast:

A position used in a two male threesome whereby one male penetrates the female’s vagina while the woman performs oral sex or masturbates the other male.

Submissive:

1) BDSM – it is someone who is willing to submit themselves to the direction of another. Failure to comply with the direction given usually results in some form of punishment. 2) Threesome – Someone who is willing to take direction or is less likely to initiate sex. 3) Cuckolding / Cuckqueaning – the individual who remains monogamous while their partner has sex with someone outside of the relationship. Typically sex is either limited or withheld from the submissive individual in order to increase arousal. Sometimes chastity devices are used in order to prevent the submissive individual from masturbating due to their increased arousal.

Swinging:

A term that is applied to various ‘group sex’ activities, including threesomes and it is a term with various definitions. On this site, swinging means a lifestyle choice in which a couple or a single person seeks out threesomes.

Unicorn:

Single female that is interested in having threesome. The term unicorn is used due to the fact they are rare, like a unicorn.

Voyeur:

Someone who watches other people have sex. Typically this is seen in soft-swinging and fmf situations where the male watches.

Wife swapping / wife sharing:

In the context of a threesome this is typically this is done between two m-f couples whereby the f male of one couple joins the other couple for a threesome and typically the other reciprocates.  The purpose, allows each couple to have a fmf threesome without having to look for the elusive unicorn. Alternatively this is done whereby one male takes on a voyeur role watching his female partner having sex with another couple.

Related articles

• Questions regarding overcoming resistance to threesome (3somes.wordpress.com)
• How not to offend the third person (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Having the initial discussion (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Overcoming resistance to the idea of a threesome (3somes.wordpress.com)
• FAQs about threesomes for couples – Part 2 (3somes.wordpress.com)
• OP-ED: Essential characteristics that every couple considering a threesome should have (3somes.wordpress.com)
• Writing an ad – Advice for single males (3somes.wordpress.com)
• What are People’s Perceptions of Open Relationships? (psychologytoday.com)
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