Why do we choose full-swap threesomes?


Dessins de Martin van Maele.

Threesomes and group sex have been around since the beginning of time. During the Dark Ages the liberal attitude towards sex was replaced with a drive towards monogamy. Arguably a part of the drive towards monogamy was ensuring the survival of the human race by limiting the number of females that could be impregnated by the same male. Thereby limiting the effects of genetic mutations in the gene pool and providing an increase in gene pool diversity. That drive to keep monogamous practices continues today and makes the world of non-monogamous practices misunderstood. However during WWII things began to change and by the late 60s threesomes along with other group sex practices began attracting attention. It was not until recently television shows and movies are now willing to tackle the topic of threesomes in a more balanced approached. Threesomes are growing in popularity and it brings up the question why do some people migrate towards threesomes?

Before going on it is important to define full-swap threesome. For this article threesome and full-swap threesome means the same. It means three people come together for enjoying the physical aspects of sex and without the emotional attachments that go with it. This means other practices such as cuckolding, open relationships, and soft-swinging are not included as a part of the discussion.

It is this author’s opinion for couple’s the answer can be summed up in one word, relationship. A couple may see a threesome as a way to cure their relationship by adding ‘spice’ to it and ending the mere existence each feel. By adding ‘spice’ some couples feel they will learn to appreciate each other again and rediscover their reason for loving each other. While others feel by adding some ‘spice’ it will keep their partner monogamous and show their partner that they can be sexually adventurous.

Another reason a couple may migrate towards a threesome is based on power in the relationship. In some relationships the power may be held by one person and they may use it to bring about a threesome through pressure, manipulation, or coercion.  Likewise the person who may not hold the power may suggest it as a way to appease their partner or suggest it as way to validate themselves through another person.

Third reason stems from growing the relationship. This may occur in one of two ways. First way it is something the couple may want to do as a way to explore their boundaries.  Essentially, wanting a threesome comes from an organic growth within the relationship whereby trust and communication flourish. Such conditions may lead some couples to push the limits of their relationship to explore other possibility while feeling secure in their relationship. If done successfully it may bring a couple closer together.

Second possible reason, it may be a strategy to strengthen the relationship the long-term by allowing the occasional threesome. Such a strategy allows the couple to invite a third person to enjoy while keeping their relationship intact. In this situation the relationship is maintained by sharing something together.

This brings the author to the side other of the discussion, the single person. For the single person, especially a man, unless their partner is into having a threesome then maintaining a relationship while having a threesome does not typically work. This means there may be other reasons such as the ability to have sex without the issues that goes along with having a relationship. While for others it could be fulfilling a fantasy or being able to have intimacy with individuals of both genders. Moreover this can mean a single person migrates towards having a threesome because it fulfills some need in their life.

When the couple meets the single person it means they are approaching the threesome from two different perspectives, relationship versus need. By having two different perspectives it means information can be lost and misunderstanding can occur. If the threesome will happen then both need to find a common ground in order to meet their competing needs.

Lastly, I am interested in knowing your feelings why people choose full-swap threesomes? Maybe you have ideas as to why threesomes appear being more mainstream?

11 thoughts on “Why do we choose full-swap threesomes?

  1. I think people choose full-swap threesomes because to do anything less doesn’t make a lot of sense and defeats the purpose of having one in the first place. We know that having a threesome isn’t as simple as it sounds – there is a lot of effort that goes into this and along many levels at the individual level as well as the relationship as a whole… so if you’re gonna do this, it’s kinda like getting your money’s worth; if you are going to risk personal and relational integrity by stepping out of the box like this, well, it had better be worth it.

    At the end of the day, it all comes down to precisely why a couple feels they want and/or need to do this and what rules are in effect to govern everyone’s behavior; when you get it down to this level of thinking – and understanding how totally convoluted this process can be, it really makes one wonder why people bother with threesomes in the first place.

    If the threesome is about allowing the couple to better appreciate each other through sexual expression and gratification with a third person, it stands to reason that nothing short of an all-out free for all is going to accomplish this goal and that might even depend on the composition of the threesome – MFM or FMF (to use the easy abbreviations).

    In the way I look at threesomes, this isn’t difficult to figure out…

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