Fantasy versus Reality Part 3 – The Heat of The Moment, Surprise Threesomes and Threesome Planning


English: Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

Heat of the moment decisions can wreck a threesome?

Using a threesome fantasy during foreplay, “I can feel his cock going deep in me… harder … harder,” before she explodes with the most intense orgasm seen. Her intense orgasm fuels an indescribable pleasure that has not been previously experienced.  Now, there is an urgency to recreate that experience in reality because you want to please her.

Next, you spend time working through how to recreate the experience and you decide her intense orgasm is her consent to have a threesome. If she was not into threesomes then why did she have such an intense orgasm, thinking to yourself? In order to recreate the experience, you feel, it has to be spontaneous and discussing it would take away from the experience. The next few weeks you spend working through the details and finding someone who is agreeable. However on the night of threesome instead of her being aroused by the surprise threesome, she appears like a deer at night on a dark rural road. What went wrong?

It is easy when being intimate to focus on providing pleasure instead of focusing on their needs and during this special time it is acceptable. However once that time passes balancing needs and pleasure returns Granted needs and pleasure can be the same but at other times they can be different. Pleasure is great way to have enjoyment and have an escape from daily life; however, too much pleasure without also focusing on needs can lead to it no longer being pleasurable.  This means when having a threesome communication, trust, and respect are just as important as the pleasure a threesome can provide. Moreover when a surprise threesome occurs, it means pleasure has been given priority over needs.

Is there a time when a surprise threesome could work? Probably, if previous discussions about having a threesome included topics such as boundaries and some discussion about having a surprise threesome along with your partner being explicitly clear that they are willing to allow you to arrange a threesome without involving them then it is possible a surprise threesome might work. Nonetheless, it is advisable speaking with your partner confirming they are still all right with the threesome idea.

Instead, it is better to talk through the idea of having a threesome outside of the bedroom, not being intimate, and have the time to discuss the idea thoroughly. This author feels it is better to discuss it then risk having all of your plans explode in front of you.

Finally, it is easy to mistake what happens “in the heat of the moment,” as a wish for the same in reality. The reality is there is a difference between what is said during this time and your partner’s feelings afterwards. It is always better to discuss then to assume you understand your partner’s needs when it involves having a threesome.

9 thoughts on “Fantasy versus Reality Part 3 – The Heat of The Moment, Surprise Threesomes and Threesome Planning

  1. I’m not sure if they really do but I’d hedge this answer and say it would depend on the people involved. If a ‘willing’ woman winds up getting boned when she wasn’t expecting to get boned, it could produce an intense orgasm; but, probably more often than not, springing a surprise threesome on an unsuspecting woman might not go very well.

    I agree that if she got surprised and had some intense orgasms, trying to recreate the event is almost impossible. Oh, you can probably get her to orgasm… but it may not be as intense; just because it worked once doesn’t mean it’ll work again.

    While I’ve had surprise threesomes sprung on me (drool, drool), I’ve never done it to anyone because some women just do not like being surprised like that, even if they’re down with threesomes – they want prior notification.

  2. I don’t like surprises anyway, so I for one would not appreciate it if my Husband were to arrange a “Surprise Threesome” for me…ah, thanks-a-lot Honey?!?…NO,NO,NO, that would have no chance of ever happening no matter who he had in mind.

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