What is cuckolding?
Cuckolding refers to a committed couple whereby the woman has sex with someone outside of their relationship. It is done with the knowledge and consent of her partner.
With that said this author feels there are two forms of cuckolding. One form has elements of BDSM in particular domination / submission, which typically involves some form of humiliation. In this form it is the woman who takes on the dominant role and the male takes on the submissive role. Typically the woman will limit or withhold sex from her male partner while she is involved with another male. Also, it is common for the male to wear a male chastity device to prevent him from masturbating.
Second form involves sharing the experience. In this form of cuckolding there is no domination / submission with humiliation. Instead both agree to the experience and the woman finds a male lover outside of their relationship. Once she returns she will typically share the experience with her male partner. This may include not bathing and telling him about the experience while they have sex.
What is cuckqueaning?
It is the same as cuckolding except it is the male that takes on a lover outside of the relationship and generally speaking, this form is much less common than cuckolding. On this site, this author uses cuckolding to address both cuckolding and cuckqueaning.
How is cuckolding different than having a threesome?
Cuckolding differs from a threesome in two fundamental ways. The first way, cuckolding is more of an individual activity than a team activity. Unlike a threesome it is the woman who does most of the searching and it is her that will have sex with someone else without her partner being there.
Second way cuckolding is different, for the woman it means she is no longer monogamous to her partner but her partner remains, in most cases, monogamous.
This means cuckolding is a quasi-open relationship whereby the man has a less active role and the woman primarily plans her experience. The extent to which she shares the experience is primarily determined by the boundaries they have established.
Is cuckolding an open relationship?
In this author’s opinion, cuckolding can be a form of an open relationship and the test is how long it lasts. If it is something the couple tries a few times and then agrees not to incorporate in their lives then it is not. However, if it is something that continues and becomes a part of their life then this author feels it is a form of an open relationship that normally involves one partner remaining exclusive.
Would you recommend cuckolding to a couple who has no threesome or wife swapping experience?
No, without some group sex experience, such as threesome or wife-swapping, the couple is not fully aware of the issues involved. Typical issues include emotional reactions, communication, and the work needed to support the relationship. Group sex experience will not necessarily prepare the couple for cuckolding but it will give them some experience regarding the issues that they may face should they try cuckolding. Instead this author feels the right approach would be to start out with having a threesome and then let cuckolding evolve naturally from it.
What are three issues a couple may face if they try cuckolding?
Beyond the issues of pregnancy and STIs probably the most common issue will be jealousy. Jealousy will come in different forms such as feeling disconnected from your partner, feeling ignored or outright jealous. Another issue is communication. Again it can take different forms such as too much communication about what is occurring, too little communication, or not the right communication. If a couple tries cuckolding communication is going to be paramount to keeping their relationship together. Final issue, resolving feelings about cuckolding, cuckolding is a practice that is not readily accepted and very few people understand. This means there is very little support and it also means it can create a lot of feelings about participating in this type of experience. It is important if a couple is going to try this then both of them are confident in their choice.
Should I have my partner meet my lover before anything happens?
It comes down to your agreed boundaries but it is something this author recommends. Having them meet them will help both of you and ideally they should have the last say, if it happens. By doing this, it allows them to take part in the decision making process and it gives them the responsibility for agreeing. If they agree then they share the responsibility for the decision for cuckolding to occur.
Related articles
- Why some couples choose full threesomes (3somes.wordpress.com)
- Threesome Terminology (3somes.wordpress.com)
- SL Letter of the Day: Intriguing Cuckolding (slog.thestranger.com)
- Examining the Fastest Growing Super-fetish Called Cuckolding (prweb.com)
- I wish she would wear one… (hornsofplenty.wordpress.com)
- A Deeper Understanding of Cuckoldry from Moi’s Perspective (multifacetedmoi.com)
- Your Girlfriend Is Flirting With Your Best Friend. What Now? (heartiste.wordpress.com)
Threesomes and variations 
You know, this used to be a thing where a wife (mostly) or even a husband was determined to get theirs and to the point where getting theirs was flaunted in the other partner’s face, daring them to do something about it and knowing they were powerless to do anything other than watch it happen and, uh-huh, even being made to do more degrading things, like cleaning up her stuff orally after her lover has made a mess out of it.
To be cuckolded was to have your masculinity stripped from you and totally, utterly crushed, to go from grown man to punk-assed bitch in one fell swoop..
Today, it’s a fun thing for folks to do… if they’re grown up enough to do it. Ain’t it just weird how this managed to transform itself?
I find it interesting cuckolding is beginning to break into the mainstream along with other forms alternative sexual practices like threesomes.
My own feeling, a part of this is due to the fact, we are living longer; relationships need to break the traditional mold to keep them relevant and to keep them lasting.
Indeed, it is interesting… and I’m of a mind that the alternate practices are coming to the front because monogamy is so limiting and restrictive so more and more people want to be free to have their cake and eat it, too. Our morality says this is a no-no and can’t be done… but it’s a lie and one that a lot of people have decided not to buy into any more.
The things you address in this well-written piece is at a level that most people can’t begin to deal with, like group sex and how some experience in this is a prerequisite to so many other things.
Keep up the great work on this topic!
Pingback: Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Couple’s Cuckolding and the ‘what’ scenario « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Debunking cuckold myths « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Defining threesome, swinging, and open relationship « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: A must see movie about swinging « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: FAQs regarding soft-swinging « Threesomes and variations
Pingback: Understanding the basic difference between wife swapping and threesome « Threesomes and variations