Vacation options for finding threesomes


IMG_8082Threesome Traveling Options

Note to readers

Since this is a free site and I do not advertise, this article will not contain direct links to sites that offer the services described. Nonetheless if readers what to share their experience or wish to recommend places based on direct personal experience then please do so.

Introduction – vacation / holiday offers a great opportunity for a threesome

There is no better time then taking time off of work for a vacation (US term) / holiday (UK term) and pursue a threesome. Even if the break amounts to nothing more than a weekend get-away or a short break. Such an opportunity provides the chance to experience a threesome and minimize the chance of a emotional entanglement especially if the place is at least a few hundred miles away. Best time is when the children are left at home with a sitter.

Forums offer great insight

There are a few UK sites where members share their experiences on holiday and such sites provide great insight into where to look. I believe one of the larger swinging lifestyle web sites also has stories where people went on vacation for their threesome experience.

Avoid Children Friendly and family friendly places

On the surface this may appear a great way to meet someone who is stressed out from a long day with the kids who might be open to a quickie. Likewise it might seem that a couple who are out relaxing while the kids are asleep might be open to the idea. Most of the time this is not the case and adults with children tend not to be interested in threesome activity. My own feeling this is due to the couple, the reason for the trip, and not wanting the expose their children to the potential that might occur if it did happen.

Look for code words such as Adult, romantic getaways or swinger friendly venues

Take time to closely read the description and look for clues in the description. Sometimes words like adult is used. Adult in this context means the place does not cater to families and depending on the locality it may either restrict ages of children or not allow them. Likewise searching for swinger vacations / holidays or romantic holidays / vacation may also provide opportunities.

Since a place may cater to adults, swingers, or it may provide a romantic place, it does not mean finding a threesome will be guaranteed. Instead it means the chance of finding someone interested probably increase. However a lot comes down to clientele at the time, the time of year, your approach, and the type of threesome being sought.

Location

Sometimes going to certain places or method of travel might increase your chances. One place that is probably conducive to a threesome would be staying at a mid-strip hotel in Vegas on a Friday or Saturday night.

Likewise the opportunity may happen unexpectedly. My example is taking a ferry to Amsterdam on a Friday night. We had the opportunity but due to the early arrival of the ferry and the small size of the cabin we decided against it. The ferry company we travelled with does not actively promote themselves as a family friendly carrier and believe because we were traveling on a Friday when it was full, it had a lot do with it.

How do you identify potential vacation / holiday destinations?

Best way is by reviewing travel sites and travel company sites. Search specifically for adult and if the company caters to swingers then look under the term swinger too. Typically these holidays / vacations run higher than average due to a large part of the market is being excluded, families with children. Another option to look for adult friendly places that do not advertise for families. Examples of such places and time of the year includes:

  • Four star hotels
  • Five star hotels
  • Areas that do not promote to children / families (e.g. Ibiza, Spain)
  • Cruises / ferries that do not promote to children / families
  • When children are generally in school. It is also a time of year when less traveling tends to occur.

Conclusion

Having a threesome on holiday / vacation offer the opportunity to have a threesome will mitigating the risk the invited third person will become an unnecessary drag on the relationship. There are many places to find a potential travel areas for a threesome. Threesome forums, the internet, and travel sites can provide fresh insight into possible locations. Finding a threesome when on vacation will take planning, timing, and some luck. If you are planning to take a vacation / holiday to look for a threesome plan on enjoying the time with your significant other and if it happens then it will only add to the enjoyment.

MFM questions for a couple


Drawing by Francesco Hayez. Español: Dibujo de...Potential questions for a single male to ask a couple

The power of a mfm threesome relationship resides with the couple, since they have a choice of many men they can invite. This means they can reject the male they are communicating with and choose another.

Unfortunately this can leave the single male feeling powerless since he knows they couple has many choices of available males and if he asks questions then he may push them away. Reality is asking questions ensures the single male the couple is a good fit for them, it shows the couple he respects their relationship, and by asking the appropriate questions will reduce the chance the single male will be a part of any relationship drama.

Below is a list of possible questions to ask the couple. The list is not an exhaustive list since the list cannot anticipate every possible response and many questions a that need to be asked are based on the specifics of the planned threesome. Instead this list is meant to guide the single male regarding questions to ask the couple and couples an idea of the information they should be communicating to the single male. The questions are listed from easier questions to ask, from this author’s perspective, to asking the socially difficult questions.

If you do use all or any of them, this author would like some feedback regarding their usefulness in order to make the necessary changes to them.  Also, if any of the questions are not clear or you feel more needs to be added the please let this author know.

1) Have you had a threesome before? IF the couple states ‘Yes’  then follow-up with

a.   If so, how did each you feel about it?

b.  How did it impact your relationship?

2)  What is the reason for the two of you wanting this threesome?

3)  How did the two of you reach the decision to have a threesome?

4)  What are your boundaries? IF the answer is we have ‘none’ or it is vague then asks as a follow-up?

a.  Is kissing acceptable?

b.  Is anal sex a possibility?

c.  Will you be performing oral sex?

d.  Can I ejaculate in your mouth?

e.  Bareback or condom?

f. Feelings on male on male activity?

g. Any other questions in order to define acceptable boundaries

5)  Where do you want me to cum?

6)  Will your partner be participating or watching?

7)  Will this be a one-off or are you looking at meeting again? Alternatively you can ask, “would bringing in another girl in the future be on the table?”

8)  What do you not like?

9) What do you enjoy?

If the answer is vague or ‘anything’ then potential follow-up questions, provided they it is something that they have not stated    they do not like in the previous question.

a.  Do you enjoy being fingered?

b.  Anus being played with?

c.  Being eaten out?

d.  Do you enjoy your nipples being sucked?

e.  What positions do you enjoy

f.  DP

10) Who do you want to have sex with first?

Writing an ad – Advice for single men


English: Scene VI of the famous mural showing ...

Are Threesomes No Strings Attached (NSA)?

The idea of uncomplicated sex, with a couple appears appealing and after much contemplation the decision is made to post an ad for a couple searching for a single male. As the ad is being drafted, one obvious question enters the writer’s consciousness what should be included?

For a single man the starting point is accepting being a part of large pool of single men interested in having a threesome. The number of single men interested in a threesome exceeds the number of couples interested in a threesome and single women too. Also, it means being able to understand the couple’s perspective in their selection process. It is not enough to write, “I am great at giving oral,” or “I can make the ladies cum.” How many single men will publicly admit they are bad at giving oral or is completely unable to make a woman cum? The point here is do not be generic, think about what the couple might want from a third person beyond their sexual ability, and do not state the obvious. The other point, first impressions are lasting. Such a statement may attract a few couple but for many, it can be discouraging.

So how do you get beyond stating the obvious or being generic? Best approach is being yourself. This means writing the ad as though you were talking with the couple and letting them know why they should choose you instead of someone else. Also, think about the type of couple you want to meet and the type of threesome scenario you are wanting. The remaining part of this blog will cover what to avoid and what should be included.

Writing the Ad

First avoid using colloquialisms and clichés.  While it may be common to use colloquialisms and clichés in everyday conversation, when writing an ad it should be a bit more formal. The problem with colloquialisms and clichés is not everyone has the same understanding leading to confusion and the other problem it can create a bad impression.

Second, do not make assumptions. One assumption that is made, the couple wants a threesome because the male half is bisexual and thereby stating being bi-curious as a way to increase the chance for being selected. Reality is a two male threesome can be straight and most two male threesomes that occur do not involve male on male contact. Male bisexuality can be a turn-off for couples due to the risk of STI / STDs. The point here is if you are not bi-sexual / bi-curious then do not add it.  Another assumption that is wrongly made is there is an issue in the relationship and having a threesome is meant to address it. Reality here is most couples who have threesomes have stable relationships and are not looking for a way to fix a relationship issue.

Third, do not write the ad as though you are there for the woman. Reason being, they are a couple and approaching the ad from that perspective can create the impression you will cause problems for the couple. Instead, think about the type of couple you are trying to attract and how you will meet their needs.

Fourth, do not get ahead of yourself. Sometimes ads will contain personal contact information or get demanding about how a couple should reply. First do not include any personal contact information and if a couple wants contact information they will, at some point, ask for it. In addition being a single male in a situation where there is a surplus of single men and being in a situation that is predominately controlled by couples means, being demanding is not acceptable.

So what should you ad contain? It should show your personality and it should be well written.  Take the time to proof read it, correct spelling errors and correct grammatical errors. Make sure the ad remains on point and it does not ramble. Also include any boundaries that you have and your sexual interests. If you are looking for a couple that shares similar interests to you then include them; however if it is not necessary that they share your interests then avoid any person interests. Do not push for a reply and give them time to come back to you. If they say ‘no’ then accept it and reply to couples that respond to your ad. Essentially your ad should contain the information a couple would need to make the decision if they should speak with your further about having a threesome and should be written in a way that encourages it.

Building trust for a threesome


Discussing the idea of having a threesome went well, boundaries were agreed, and the decision was made to invite a third person. Now a rush of questions starts flooding your mind. How can we trust someone? How can I trust my partner to stick to our boundaries?  How can I be sure it is going to work out? All of these questions have one thing in common, the need to build trust.

Before talking about building trust for a threesome it is important to define trust. Trust is an allusive term that is difficult to define and relies more on intuition than objective observation. Therefore, trust is about confidence and placing confidence in someone based on their character. This implies an element of trust is dependent of the perception of the person and the confidence the individual has in that person.  For a threesome it means being able to have the confidence in someone that what they are saying is true and they will adhere to their statements.

This leads to the question, how do you build trust for a threesome? For a couple it means there is enough history that each other has confidence in the other to do what they promise. If the couple has been together for a little while it may mean they need to approach having a threesome at a slow pace since it may require them to build trust as they get closer to the threesome. In contrast, for a couple that has been together for a while, it may mean trust is not an issue for them since they have a history together. However, if the couple is going through a difficult period where the issue of trust is involved then it a threesome will not help them rebuild their trust and instead it is more likely to erode any trust that exists.

Now, the question becomes how does the couple trust the third person and the third person trust the couple? The starting point is the type of threesome being planned. If the threesome is a soft-swinging or full threesome then trust is more about the character and trustworthiness of the individual then building actual trust.  A soft-swinging or full threesome is about physical enjoyment and preventing feelings for the third person from developing. In order for this objective to be achieved, the couple needs to avoid building a relationship with the third person and this means, the contact with the third person needs to be limited. Typically, there is very little time for discussion and a decision to have / not to have the threesome is fairly quick. Other types of threesomes the length of time to build trust varies due to the length and nature of the threesome.  In answer to the above question, building trust is a function of the type of threesome being planned and the amount of communication that is needed for it to occur.

In conclusion building trust is the cornerstone of having a successful threesome and the amount of time needed is dependent on the type of threesome being sought. The starting point for trust lies with the couple and their ability to trust each other. Once they have enough trust built for a threesome then the next step for them trusts the invited third person.  If the objective of the threesome is physical enjoyment then the time needed to build trust is short and is only necessary to the extent that enough trust is built to allow the threesome to happen. Whereas other types of threesomes such as poly or cuckolding will require more trust due to the nature of the threesome being needed. Finally trust is allusive and it is built on perceptions. Without trust no threesome can occur.

MFM Threesome FAQs for single males


triple red tulipaFAQs for single men interested in a mfm threesome

If a couple responds to my email or ad then they are interested in me?

There is a difference between a genuine interest meeting for a threesome and obtaining enough information to make an informed decision. Any reply means you have an opportunity to make yourself stand-out and impress the couple.

Couples looking for a two male, mfm, threesome are looking for another male to join them because the primary male cannot meet the female’s sexual needs?

This is a logical fallacy that many single men believe. Most couples looking for a second male have stable relationships and have a threesome because it is their choice. As a result of their decision you are being invited to join them because they are looking to explore their sexuality and not because there is an underlying issue in their relationship.

When meeting or communicating with a couple I should be speaking to the woman?

Depending on the situation this can be a fatal mistake. While it is true most mmf threesomes are straight, the reality is it takes two people to make a couple. This means even though you will be engaging sexually with her you cannot forget her partner / husband. In many situations he takes on a gatekeeper role, which means, if you cannot win his trust and confidence then it is unlikely the threesome will occur. Best piece of advice is to make sure you include him in any conversations, speak to him about her interests, and a build a rapport with him. By doing this you will gain his trust and increase the chance the threesome will occur.

When replying to an ad I should include my email address, contact phone number, and a photo of my genitals?

Most ads will not ask contact details or photos of genitals to be sent with a reply. By sending any of this with your reply, when it is not requested, most likely will be seen as aggressive and will cause the couple to longer consider you. It is best to read the ad carefully about what the couple is wanting and only send the requested information.

If I am in a committed relationship or married and the couple is requesting a single male then I am considered single?

Many couples tend to prefer single men since they come with less risk and keep the threesome as discreet as possible. If you are married or in a committed relationship and the couple request a single male then you need to be upfront with the couple about your relationship status.

If I am single and interested in having a threesome then I should approach a married couple that I know?

If you ask a friend for a threesome then that relationship will forever change and you might bring to an end that friendship. Before asking you will need to consider:

  • If you are willing to risk the friendship
  • How the friendship will return once the threesome ends
  • How you will deal with issues such as rejection if your idea is rejected
  • How you will mitigate feelings developing
  • Your reasons for selecting a friend instead of someone else

How do I ask a couple for a threesome?

A lot depends on the context of the situation, if you are using a website dedicated to this activity or at a swinger club (on or off premise) then wanting a threesome is implied. The focus in these situations is determining if enough attraction exists to allow a threesome to occur.

If it the asking is done when the couple may not expect it then using a direct approach that is open and honest is necessary. This means avoiding euphemisms, talking around the subject, or alluding to the idea.  Instead you have to be honest with the couple and tell them what you are proposing.  In some situations, there already may be sexual tension that all recognizes and talking about it will help bring up the subject. If this is the situation then talk about your plan, how you see the friendship continuing, and why you feel it is necessary to have the threesome. However in other situations the idea may be a shock to them and it is best to be ready for it.

If I have a threesome with a couple is it assumed that I will ‘cum’ in her, especially if I use a condom?

No, it is bad etiquette to make this assumption. When it comes to this issue the woman may have a strong preference and it is courteous to ask beforehand.

If I am participating in a threesome with another man does it mean he is bisexual or gay?

No, it does not. The most common type of threesome is the two men and one woman threesome.

How do I handle incidental touching in a two man threesome?

Ideally before the threesome you should discuss with the couple your boundaries, including being intentionally touched by the other male. With that said, during ‘the heat of the moment,’ sometimes incidental touching does occur. This can occur for several reason like positioning, initial indications that you are open to the idea, or misunderstanding about boundaries. If it does happen and if feels good then allow the touching to continue until you begin feeling uncomfortable. However if it is something that makes you feel uncomfortable then try showing your discomfort non-verbally by changing position or gently moving the body part that is touching you. Should it not be possible or it is not working then politely and in a non-confrontation way say something. Finally if the thought of being touched by the other male induces levels of anxiety, anger, or it is something that upsets you then, in this author’s opinion, you should reconsider the idea of having a two male threesome.

MFM threesome FAQs


English: Variable Damselfly threesome: mating ...

If we have a two male, mfm, threesome will there be male on male contact?

In most cases, no, since most mfm are straight (no male on male contact). However, if it something, as a couple, you are looking for then it is possible to find a bi male but be safe in regards to STDs / STIs.

Couples looking for a two male, mfm, threesomes are looking for another male to join them because the primary male cannot meet the female’s sexual needs?

Most couples that look for a second male have stable relationships and have a threesome because it is their choice. This means you are being invited to join them because they are looking to explore their sexuality and not because there is an underlying issue in their relationship.

What types of risk exist with having a mfm threesome?

The biggest risks includes, though not limited to:

  • pregnancy
  •  STDs / STIs
  • misunderstanding boundaries / miscommunication
  • conflict during or after the threesome
  • ending of the relationship

My husband / partner wants a mfm threesome, does it mean he is gay?

Most likely no, most threesomes are two male threesomes that are straight.  Very few two male threesomes involve male on male activity due to risk of STDs / STIs. Even if there is some male-on-male contact it does not mean he is gay. A threesome situation can be quite arousing and allowing opportunity for exploration whereby some same-sex contact does occur. Then after the experience there is no further interest in the same-sex. However, if you are in doubt then it is important that you speak to them about your concerns.

Where are some places we can meet men interested in having a threesome?

There are many places you can search and you may find someone interested in places that you may not expect to look.  Nonetheless there are a few places you can try but remember to do it safely:

  • Internet threesomes, dating, and swinging web sites.
  • Swingers clubs on premise
  • Off premise swingers clubs, munches, and meet & greets
  • Swingers Parties
  • Dogging locations

However there a few choices to avoid such as:

  • bars
  • co-workers
  • ex boyfriend / girlfriend or ex spouse

Are there any bad reasons to have a threesome?

Yes they are and they include:

  • Feeling pressured
  • Doing it to please your partner
  • Being coerced or manipulated
  • Using it as a way of preventing cheating
  • Getting drunk and / or high to have a threesome

Will getting high or drunk increase my enjoyment of having a threesome?

Getting high and / or drunk is very bad idea when having a threesome. Reason being you need to be in full control of your decisions and keep up your boundaries. Without being in control of your decisions you put your safety and health at risk. Simply put if you need to get high and /or drunk to have a threesome then you need to reconsider the idea.

What positions can you do in a threesome?

Any position works in a threesome but there are two other positions, split roast and dp.

I am a female who will be having a two male threesome, how do I divide my attention including who do I have sex with first?

You will be the center of the male’s attention. Nonetheless, how you focus your attention may have a significant impact on your relationship. The best advice is to speak with your partner before the threesome and then communicate it to the invited male.

Having two men will mean the female will have sex multiple times?

It is possible that she may have sex more than once. However that will depend on the planned threesome structure, expectations, and if any of the men of suffering from performance anxiety (e.g. inability to get an erection, inability to support an erection, premature ejaculation).

 

Basic Threesome FAQ


spicesBasic threesome information for the novice

Will a threesome destroy our relationship?

This author believes a threesome will not necessarily destroy a relationship but this author believes, a threesome can act as a catalyst bringing up underlying relationship issues to the surface faster.

Can a threesome fix a troubled relationship or add spice to it?

A threesome cannot fix a trouble relationship or relationship that has become stagnant. In this type of situation it is likely the threesome will make the relationship worse, not better.

Is inviting an ex or a co-worker a good idea to a threesome?

While a few threesomes might work using an ex or a co-worker, most likely this is an ill-advised choice. This is due to the potential risks they pose to the couple. Typical risks for inviting a co-worker include sexual harassment claims, loss of job, loss of privacy, problems at work, and a greater chance cheating might occur. For an ex the biggest risk is the relationship might restart again leading to cheating or the relationship ending.

My partner becomes quite aroused of the idea of having a threesome during foreplay is it advisable to arrange one and then surprise them with it?

No. There is a difference between fantasy and reality, especially when it comes to threesomes. If your partner has expressed an interest in having a threesome then it is best to speak to them outside of the bedroom and at a time when there is no distractions.

My partner has expressed an interest in having a threesome, have they stopped loving me? Do they want a divorce?

You will need to speak to them if you are concerned. However, in most cases it can be a compliment because they feel secure enough in the relationship and want to explore their boundaries with you. Therefore, it is likely the answer to this question is no.

What is soft-swinging?

Soft-swinging has a variety of definitions but at the core of the definition it means no penetration (oral, vaginal, or anal) by the invited third person.

What are the different types of threesomes?

  • Soft-swinging
  • Full threesome
  • Cuckolding
  • Ménage a trios
  • Polyamory: couple with an invited third
  • Open relationship
  • Fantasy Play / Role Playing
  • Dogging
  • Friends with Benefits (can be)

My husband / partner wants a mfm threesome, does it mean he is gay?

Most likely no, most threesomes are two male threesomes that are straight.  Very few two male threesomes involve male on male activity due to risk of STDs / STIs. If you are in doubt then speak to them about it.

After bringing up the idea, how long does it take before we are ready to have a threesome?

It can take any where from a few weeks to a few years depending on the couple. There are some couples that may ultimately decide a threesome is not for them.

My husband and I want a fmf threesome, is it true that it is difficult to find a single woman to join us?

Reality is very few single women are interested in having a fmf threesome with a couple and those who those that are interested are in very high demand. This means a single woman can be selective in the couple she chooses and it means the couple can spend well over a year searching. Best advice would be to search for another couple that is willing to share the female with you but be ready that they will expect that you reciprocate.

Where can we find a threesome?

There are many places to look for a threesome and many opportunities that happen can lead to a threesome. The challenge is knowing which ones will be fruitful versus being a waste of time. Below are a few suggestions:

  • Online dating and threesomes sites.
  • There are a few smart phone apps being produced for this type of search and are beginning making it into the market.
  • Swingers club (not recommended for those just starting out)
  • Swingers party (not recommended for those just starting out)
  • Friends (risky and requires a lot of thought)