Cuckolding Beginners Guide: After Yes Now What?

Introduction

The time between agreeing to try cuckolding and her first date is an important time. It is a time if handled wrong it can mean relationship issues that can destroy the relationship. Also, it can mean a breakdown in communication and it can mean putting her safety at risk once the first date occurs. This guide will share relationship secrets and planning secrets to make her first cuckolding date enjoyable.

Defining Cuckolding

What is cuckolding?

Before discussing cuckolding it is important to ask yourself what does cuckolding mean to you? Is it a hot wife that has many male lovers outside of her loving relationship with her husband? Maybe it is dominating wife who humiliates her husband by taking on another lover because he has a small penis? Perhaps it is a wife who wants to know what it is like to have sex with someone outside of their relationship and experience another penis.

The answer to the question, there is no  universal definition and everyone has there own definition of cuckolding. This means, cuckolding takes on many different definitions but the underlying meaning of all definitions an unifying theme. All definitions include a man whose wife / girlfriend has sex with someone else outside of their relationship that is done with his knowledge and consent.

For some it raises the question is cuckolding cheating? The answer is perceptional and outside of the scope for this article.

BDSM and Couples

Arguably anytime a couple involves a third person in their relationship it can be cuckolding but to understand cuckolding it is important to briefly understand the forms. I believe cuckolding comes in two ‘flavors’ couples and BDSM. Couples cuckolding in many ways is a quasi open relationship. Whereby the woman has sex with someone outside of their relationship for their mutual enjoyment. The difference, I believe, between an open relationship and couples cuckolding is couples the latter is short-term with the focus on not forming an emotional relationship with the third person.

The above differs from cuckolding that follows the more traditional BDSM route that involves some form of humiliation or domination. In the more traditional form it is a form of open relationship. Whereby the man remains monogamous while his woman partner / spouse forms a relationship with someone outside of the relationship.

Type of Cuckolding and Planning your first date

Understanding the two different forms of cuckolding is important because it will help guide the couple on the type of experience they want. By defining the type of experience, it will help them communicate and help find a man that is likely to support the experience they wish.

Couples Cuckolding

If she is leaning towards a couples cuckolding experience then experience is short-term and probable will not need her husband’s / boyfriend’s involvement in choosing the other male. The focus here is on short-term physical enjoyment. It is possible the first date may be meeting for sex instead of drinks.

BDSM

This may take her longer to find and may require more involvement, if asked. Since this type of arrangement may be for the long-term she may ask her husband / boyfriend to come with for input. Alternatively she may keep him updated regarding the progress of the date. Planning may become more intricate and finding a male who is willing to accept such an arrangement make take longer. The date in this type of situation may resemble a couple meeting for the first time and may involve several meets before any sexual activity occurs. As a couple working out safety and boundaries becomes paramount to protect the relationship.

After Yes What Next?

She agrees to try cuckolding but what next? Being a couple with that look like ‘deer in a headlight’ is not an option. After agreeing to explore cuckolding and before the first date there is a period between agreeing and the first date. During this period the couple goes through some drastic changes. These changes range from emotional withdrawal, to fear, and to sheer excitement. Some describe the experience as a roller coaster of emotions.

Where do you look?

The first step involves finding a suitable male. Finding a suitable male for cuckolding is nerve-racking since it has to be someone that is trustworthy and will not hurt her. This can lead to the search taking longer and being more cautious.

In the digital age there are many ways to search from:

• using the internet
• talking to friends
• using apps on your phone
• striking up conversations
• letting it happen naturally by giving her a ‘hall pass.’
• vising a swingers club or social

Searching for a cuckolding experience is different from a threesome. Cuckolding relates to how the couple relate to each other instead of how the relate to the invited male. When searching for a threesome it involves finding someone who shares similar interests as the couple and because having a threesome is more popular than cuckolding. As a result many sites have sprung up catering to subgroups of threesomes such as bisexual men or single women seeking a couple. Whereas cuckolding involves finding a compatible male. This means cuckolding tends to blend in a bit more and taking time to read profiles becomes more important.

She is Shy Introverted

The Issue

For her agreeing to try cuckolding might be overwhelming. It means finding another male to have sex with and worry if the relationship will survive the experience. It may cause her to be cautious and actively seek the experience. Alternatively she may be naturally shy and does not seek a cuckolding experience. So how can you help her if she is shy or reluctant?

Before searching it is important to talk about her reluctance  if she is normally outgoing. Without talking discussing her reluctance it can open the door to relationship issues that can have a far-reaching effect long after the experience is over. Furthermore it can impact her ability to effectively communicate her comfort, it can impact her enjoyment, and impact her feeling of security because she is not meeting a need.

Does this mean she should not try cuckolding? No, being shy does not mean she is unable to enjoy the experience nor does it mean she should not have the experience. Instead it means making sure she is able to effectively communicate her needs and those needs are understood.

Overcoming the Hurdle of being Shy Introverted

Being introverted and cuckolding are not incompatible; however, it can pose a hurdle. Finding a cuckolding experience is similar to a threesome because both use similar sources. The difference lies in the process for finding a suitable male. Typically searching for a cuckolding is an individual experiences whereas searching for a threesome is more of a shared couple experience.  Since she is shy it may mean, as her husband or boyfriend, you will have to help her. This may mean seeking her agreement to allow you to find someone, seeking her agreement to allow you to arrange you for her to meet someone, or it may mean giving her support.

Setting Basic Boundaries

One of the big differences between having a threesome and cuckolding are boundaries. Threesome boundaries tend to focus on protecting the relationship, building trust, and providing for a sense of well-being by ensuring needs are met. Cuckolding boundaries are different. The focus for cuckolding is physical safety and to a certain extent protecting while ensuring information is communicated.

Choosing the ‘Bull’ Other Male

Cuckolding normally requires choosing the other male is her choice but she may ask for husband / boyfriend for their advice. Depending on the cuckolding experience she is seeking it will decide the male she chooses. If she is shy then she may ask her boyfriend / husband to help. His involvement should be agreed before  any searching occurs and should be limited.

Finally

Not many couples realize saying yes to cuckolding is only the beginning before the real work begins. Taking time to set boundaries and to search will help make sure an enjoyable experience and help make sure the relationship survives. Without taking time to talk through the issues and set basic boundaries the risk to her is high.

Other Articles of Interest

Cuckolding Beginners Guide for Her: Surviving the First Date

Cuckolding Beginners Guide: Enjoying Sloppy Seconds

Universal Boundaries

FAQs Regarding Boundaries

5 Laws for Establishing Boundaries

Cuckolding Relationship

Easing into Cuckolding or Threesome

8 Cuckolding Secrets Every Couple Should Know

Watching My Wife Having Sex with Another Man

Cuckolding and the Power Sloppy Seconds

Debunking Cuckold Myths

Threesome Terminology

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Single woman seeking a threesome: risks and benefits

Introduction

Due to family, work, and other commitments, I have been slow in responding to a request. The reader’s inquiry is about a single woman who are interested in having a threesome. To begin with finding a single woman interested in a threesome is not easy due to, from my experience, a woman is interested in the idea after being in a stable, secure, and loving relationship. Even if you can find a woman interested in having a threesome, I believe, the ratio is about 100 men interested in a threesome for every one woman that is interested.

Selection

For some it may sound that a single bisexual woman might be ideal and in my opinion, this is probably rarely the case since  a bisexual woman having a threesome with a heterosexual couple is not interrelated. In my opinion, a woman interested in a threesome would probably be either a single professional woman who does not have the time for a relationship or a woman in some variation of an open relationship.

Where to look

I normally do not advocate asking friends, co-workers, business associates, or acquaintances due to the risk involved. There are some good free resources in the UK that provide limited access for those living in the UK and to a lesser extent Europe. The US has probably two good free sites for threesomes. This raises the question about searching online ad sites and newspapers. In my opinion, I would be cautious about using ad sites that charge. If you join a site that charges take advantage of any free trials that they offer before committing. Joining a site a financially possible but if you join several sites then the cost can become prohibitive very quickly. My advice is to read through the Terms of Service, understand how you will be charged, and ensure there is enough profiles for your area.

This raises the question of fake profiles and how to know if it is fake. The best approach is to be cavalier in your approach, which means do not pin your hopes to one profile waiting for a reply or not contact others because you feel a commitment to someone. Also it means keep your perspective and do not get sidetracked. Remember the site you are on is finding a woman for a threesome, which means you are not there to make friends or to support causes. Instead contact many, reply to all inquiries, and do not allow yourself to become attached.

A third place you can try is a swinger’s club but be forewarn at least half of the couples there are at the club for the same reason as you. If a single woman does show up then you will be competing with them for her. Finally a fourth place to try is some for of social. These tend to be off-premise, no sex occurring, events and tend to be an event where like minded people meet. This can get you some insight of who might be interested in a threesome and where are the best places to look in your area.

Meeting and Threesome

All of us unique and it is not possible to have a generic approach. Nonetheless it is important to remember, if you do have a meeting with a woman for a threesome there is probably a 1,000 couples she could have agreed to meet. In many ways it is different than having a threesome with a male and if not handled correctly it can lead to her becoming a third wheel in your relationship.  Also it means you will have to keep her interest and go at her pace.

At some point the topic of sex will come up. This means at least two separate conversations must occur. First conversation must occur between the couple discussing their boundaries including the limits of involvement with the other woman and how the attention is to be apportioned. Second conversation, that occurs after the first, regards how the threesome will operate and the requirements of the invited woman.

Up to this point all three have been interacting socially in a non-sexual way. As the threesome approaches it is likely feelings will be brought up and insecurities. There is one school of thought on this that states the invited woman should be more submissive than the woman in the relationship. I do not believe this is always necessary but I do believe communication along with trust must exist for the threesome to work.

Conclusion

Web sites, swingers clubs, and socials all offer opportunities to meet potential partners. However, it is important to think about safety and not get too attached since the search is about finding a compatible partner. As you search the reality becomes searching for a woman that is interested in a threesome is not easy and it can take a long time of searching and during this time it is important to have a clear understanding with your partner about the limits of the encounter. Once you find a potential partner  approaching the threesome is not like having a threesome with two males. Instead it is a more egalitarian situation with her having power due to the limited supply of single women interested in having a threesome and the potential risk of her become attached, if it is not handled correctly. With patience, communication, and a clear expectation of boundaries having a two woman threesome can be quite enjoyable.

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