Can a threesome help a relationship?

Imagine this scenario, a couple finds sex is becoming mundane and predictable considers having a threesome in order to add “spice” to their sex life. Likewise another couple  finds sex between them is electrifying and wanting to explore their boundaries. Which one, do you feel is like to have an enjoyable threesome experience that can help their relation? The answer might surprise you.

In order to answer that question it is important to define the word help. Help in this context means either fixing a relationship or improving it. It does not mean being therapeutic nor doe it mean providing a path to find an answer. This means having a threesome as a way for fixing a relationship poses some challenges and risks. Usually if there is a problem in a relationship it means there is a corresponding issue regarding communication. If there is a problem with communication then the likelihood that an important topic is missed regarding having a threesome increase and thereby means having problems due to having a threesome increases.   By having a threesome it can bring up underlying issues that the couple was not prepared to address. Without having the necessary tools, such as communication, in addressing underling issues then there is a high probability that the relationship will suffer. Does this mean the relationship is doomed to fail? No,  but it does mean the couple will likely face challenges that they will need to be prepared to address and without being able to successfully address them then it is likely the relationship will fail.

Does this then mean a couple that finds sex electrifying will be without issues? Again the answer is no. However, it does mean the couple is approaching a threesome from a position of strength thereby decreasing the chance that a threesome will go wrong. If a couple is finding sex electrifying between the two of them, for example, then it indicates they are doing something right. Most likely, though not guaranteed, communication exists and they, most likely, have the right relationship dynamic for a threesome. Nonetheless, there are no guarantees and there still remains a chance that an issue will develop that the couple did not consider. Such issues can include lack of clarity on boundaries and misunderstanding boundaries. Feelings beginning to develop for the third person and underlying relationship issues brought forward. Anytime a couple considers having a threesome they need to do it cautiously and be prepared for any issue that may arise.

Does this mean a threesome cannot help a relationship? No, but it does mean a threesome can weaken a poor relationship and it could help a strong relationship by allowing further development of communication between the couple. Therefore any couple thinking about a threesome need to work through any relationship issue before having a threesome in order to mitigate any issue that could hurt their relationship. If a couple is able to communicate and work through their problems then having a threesome may be something that could help them.

Common places to have a threesome

 

 

One of the biggest challenges a couple will face when planning a threesome is where to have it and it is important to remember all threesomes have inherent risks, for example: pregnancy, risk to the relationship,  safety, and STI/ STDs, There are several different places to have it and this article will explore some of the more common places along with their advantages and disadvantages.

 

Home: This is the place where the couple lives and provides them with a level of familiarity. By having a familiar place it will help them to feel comfortable and can help the couple be more responsive thereby allowing them to enjoy the threesome more. However there are some issues with having a threesome at their home. First is a loss of privacy, neighbors may see you bringing in a stranger and the third person knowing where you live. This can lead to further issue such as safety and having your identity stolen. Another issue bringing the third person to your home can pose, children unexpectedly waking up or walking in on the activity.  Final issue is getting the third person to leave after the threesome. Normally this does not seem to be a major issue but it can be if they are not ready.

 

Third Person’s Residence: As an option this addresses many of the issue above but it can increase the risk to safety. Along with the issue of safety, going to a strange place may make being responsive difficult and it can create a very uncomfortable feel.  Also, if they live a far distance from the couple’s residence it may make travelling to their place impossible and if they have children then the children will be exposed to the threesome.

 

Hotel / Motel: Offers a good alternative between staying at someone’s home and bringing someone into your home. It offers a good way of protecting identity and possibly providing a relaxed atmosphere for a threesome.  However, this choice can be expensive and not all lodging places welcome this type of activity. It is possible, though this author feels the risk is generally low, if there is an arrangement to split the cost, the couple pays for the room(s), or the invited third person pays for the room(s) then it is possible that there is a risk of being charged with prostitution. The risk increases if the lodging facility does not approve of the activity and the laws regarding prostitution can be liberally interpreted in applying it to a threesome situation. This author feels the best way to avoid this risk is by having each book a room and pay for their own room.

 

Dogging:  This is an activity that is popular in England and it involves having sex in public. Typically there are locations that are known where this activity occurs and you can meet someone for some anonymous sex. It poses several risks such as risk to safety, risk of arrest, and risk of STDs / STIs.

 

Swingers Clubs: Like a hotel / motel they offer a good place for a threesome. Nonetheless there are several issues with them such as cost and distance (since they tend to be in / near large metropolitan cities). Also couples need to be clear about their boundaries, be willing to discuss their boundaries, and be willing to mingle to find someone.

 

Online – Webcam / Instant Messenger / Chatrooms: Having an online threesome offers a couple an opportunity to have a threesome without the risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases from the invited third person, along with greater protection for their relationship. It also offers the third person a voyeur role whereby they can watch the couple having sex.  While having an online threesome allows an interaction there are some distinct disadvantages.  A disadvantage is the artificialness of the experience. Having to interact online and not be physically present can act as a barrier thereby removing some of the spontaneity. Another disadvantage lies in the rules of the site and the law. By having a threesome online it could violate the Terms of Service of the site and potentially be in violation of the country’s law, especially if one of the participants is under the age of 18.

 

 

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