The cuckolding fantasy give a safe place to view the experience and have the ideal outcome. Once the first date approaches the fantasy metamorphosis into a storm at sea with the flurry of emotions, the fear, and panic before being replaced with excite the first date brings. It is not until she arrives home and discussing the experience does the storm finally subside. So, how do you survive the storm that comes with the first date?
Starting point is establishing basic boundaries. Cuckolding is not a threesome and will need very different boundaries. A boundary for a threesome might be no kissing, one-off, or no anal sex. This is because having a threesome is a team activity whereby each person can verify the other is following each boundary and as a couple become comfortable with having a threesome their need for specific boundaries begin the wane. Therefore, a boundary in a threesome situation is more about comfort and providing a degree of emotional safety to make sure the threesome does not go beyond a certain points.
However, in a cuckold having a boundary is more about physical safety or relationship safety than emotional safety. Examples of boundaries may include:
- No staying overnight
- Call / text to give update about the date is progressing
- Number of times in a month she meets the other man
- Amount and type of communication that can occur
- Degree to which the discussing the events of her being intimate with someone else
- Meeting the other male and being to ‘veto’ him if not acceptable.
It can be said, having a cuckold requires a higher degree of trust and a deeper understanding of what cuckolding involves to make sure safety.
Build up the relationship
Building up the relationship prior to the first date is vital for ensuring a positive cuckolding experience and ensuring the relationship can survive the experience. This means any relationship issue that can cause a problem is resolved before the first date and it means finding a way to connect at an emotional level to bond.
Next building up the relationship can also mean changing your communication style whereby the focus changes from superficial discussions to problem resolution. Such a change may involve talking about feelings, needs, and then working towards an agreeable solution.
Finally, building up the relationship means supporting her through the experience in order for it to be a positive experience for her. It may need helping her prepare for the first day and making herself look attractive. This may mean putting aside your feelings to help her feel confident that this is the right decision.
As the first date gets closer there may be noticeable relationship changes:
- She may become emotionally distant
- She may want more time to herself
- Sex may decrease or stop
- Anxiety and fear about the relationship may become more common
- Arguments may increase
- Premature ejaculation or inability to become erect
- She may become more focused on appearance
It is important to view them as normal but after the first date, they can be a sign of an issue that needs discussing.
The first time can be quite unnerving. She is gone, hopefully enjoying herself with someone else while you are left alone. It is a time when fear and anxiety build that can lead to a hasty decision being made. It is important while she is out a distraction is found that does not involve using drugs, does not involve using alcohol and does not shopping. From my experience, if you are at home, cleaning is a good distraction. Likewise going to a movie or going out also serves as distinction.
Post Date Relationship Changes
Cuckolding will forever change your relationship and each encounter makes it more difficult for the relationship to return to an exclusive relationship. It is important to expect change and the degree, to which, the change will occur will depend on how the experience impacts each of you.
Until the first date cuckolding is only a fantasy. However, as the first date approaches the relationship will under go temporary changes that may involve creating an emotional distance to prepare for the cuckolding experience along with the male noticing sexual changes. After the date it is likely there will be changes to the relationship and to make sure the experience is positive the couple will need to make sure they continue to communicate. The first date can be a positive experience if you plan for it, communicate, and view any change positively.