Writing an ad – Advice for single men


English: Scene VI of the famous mural showing ...

Are Threesomes No Strings Attached (NSA)?

The idea of uncomplicated sex, with a couple appears appealing and after much contemplation the decision is made to post an ad for a couple searching for a single male. As the ad is being drafted, one obvious question enters the writer’s consciousness what should be included?

For a single man the starting point is accepting being a part of large pool of single men interested in having a threesome. The number of single men interested in a threesome exceeds the number of couples interested in a threesome and single women too. Also, it means being able to understand the couple’s perspective in their selection process. It is not enough to write, “I am great at giving oral,” or “I can make the ladies cum.” How many single men will publicly admit they are bad at giving oral or is completely unable to make a woman cum? The point here is do not be generic, think about what the couple might want from a third person beyond their sexual ability, and do not state the obvious. The other point, first impressions are lasting. Such a statement may attract a few couple but for many, it can be discouraging.

So how do you get beyond stating the obvious or being generic? Best approach is being yourself. This means writing the ad as though you were talking with the couple and letting them know why they should choose you instead of someone else. Also, think about the type of couple you want to meet and the type of threesome scenario you are wanting. The remaining part of this blog will cover what to avoid and what should be included.

Writing the Ad

First avoid using colloquialisms and clichés.  While it may be common to use colloquialisms and clichés in everyday conversation, when writing an ad it should be a bit more formal. The problem with colloquialisms and clichés is not everyone has the same understanding leading to confusion and the other problem it can create a bad impression.

Second, do not make assumptions. One assumption that is made, the couple wants a threesome because the male half is bisexual and thereby stating being bi-curious as a way to increase the chance for being selected. Reality is a two male threesome can be straight and most two male threesomes that occur do not involve male on male contact. Male bisexuality can be a turn-off for couples due to the risk of STI / STDs. The point here is if you are not bi-sexual / bi-curious then do not add it.  Another assumption that is wrongly made is there is an issue in the relationship and having a threesome is meant to address it. Reality here is most couples who have threesomes have stable relationships and are not looking for a way to fix a relationship issue.

Third, do not write the ad as though you are there for the woman. Reason being, they are a couple and approaching the ad from that perspective can create the impression you will cause problems for the couple. Instead, think about the type of couple you are trying to attract and how you will meet their needs.

Fourth, do not get ahead of yourself. Sometimes ads will contain personal contact information or get demanding about how a couple should reply. First do not include any personal contact information and if a couple wants contact information they will, at some point, ask for it. In addition being a single male in a situation where there is a surplus of single men and being in a situation that is predominately controlled by couples means, being demanding is not acceptable.

So what should you ad contain? It should show your personality and it should be well written.  Take the time to proof read it, correct spelling errors and correct grammatical errors. Make sure the ad remains on point and it does not ramble. Also include any boundaries that you have and your sexual interests. If you are looking for a couple that shares similar interests to you then include them; however if it is not necessary that they share your interests then avoid any person interests. Do not push for a reply and give them time to come back to you. If they say ‘no’ then accept it and reply to couples that respond to your ad. Essentially your ad should contain the information a couple would need to make the decision if they should speak with your further about having a threesome and should be written in a way that encourages it.

MFM Threesome FAQs for single males


triple red tulipaFAQs for single men interested in a mfm threesome

If a couple responds to my email or ad then they are interested in me?

There is a difference between a genuine interest meeting for a threesome and obtaining enough information to make an informed decision. Any reply means you have an opportunity to make yourself stand-out and impress the couple.

Couples looking for a two male, mfm, threesome are looking for another male to join them because the primary male cannot meet the female’s sexual needs?

This is a logical fallacy that many single men believe. Most couples looking for a second male have stable relationships and have a threesome because it is their choice. As a result of their decision you are being invited to join them because they are looking to explore their sexuality and not because there is an underlying issue in their relationship.

When meeting or communicating with a couple I should be speaking to the woman?

Depending on the situation this can be a fatal mistake. While it is true most mmf threesomes are straight, the reality is it takes two people to make a couple. This means even though you will be engaging sexually with her you cannot forget her partner / husband. In many situations he takes on a gatekeeper role, which means, if you cannot win his trust and confidence then it is unlikely the threesome will occur. Best piece of advice is to make sure you include him in any conversations, speak to him about her interests, and a build a rapport with him. By doing this you will gain his trust and increase the chance the threesome will occur.

When replying to an ad I should include my email address, contact phone number, and a photo of my genitals?

Most ads will not ask contact details or photos of genitals to be sent with a reply. By sending any of this with your reply, when it is not requested, most likely will be seen as aggressive and will cause the couple to longer consider you. It is best to read the ad carefully about what the couple is wanting and only send the requested information.

If I am in a committed relationship or married and the couple is requesting a single male then I am considered single?

Many couples tend to prefer single men since they come with less risk and keep the threesome as discreet as possible. If you are married or in a committed relationship and the couple request a single male then you need to be upfront with the couple about your relationship status.

If I am single and interested in having a threesome then I should approach a married couple that I know?

If you ask a friend for a threesome then that relationship will forever change and you might bring to an end that friendship. Before asking you will need to consider:

  • If you are willing to risk the friendship
  • How the friendship will return once the threesome ends
  • How you will deal with issues such as rejection if your idea is rejected
  • How you will mitigate feelings developing
  • Your reasons for selecting a friend instead of someone else

How do I ask a couple for a threesome?

A lot depends on the context of the situation, if you are using a website dedicated to this activity or at a swinger club (on or off premise) then wanting a threesome is implied. The focus in these situations is determining if enough attraction exists to allow a threesome to occur.

If it the asking is done when the couple may not expect it then using a direct approach that is open and honest is necessary. This means avoiding euphemisms, talking around the subject, or alluding to the idea.  Instead you have to be honest with the couple and tell them what you are proposing.  In some situations, there already may be sexual tension that all recognizes and talking about it will help bring up the subject. If this is the situation then talk about your plan, how you see the friendship continuing, and why you feel it is necessary to have the threesome. However in other situations the idea may be a shock to them and it is best to be ready for it.

If I have a threesome with a couple is it assumed that I will ‘cum’ in her, especially if I use a condom?

No, it is bad etiquette to make this assumption. When it comes to this issue the woman may have a strong preference and it is courteous to ask beforehand.

If I am participating in a threesome with another man does it mean he is bisexual or gay?

No, it does not. The most common type of threesome is the two men and one woman threesome.

How do I handle incidental touching in a two man threesome?

Ideally before the threesome you should discuss with the couple your boundaries, including being intentionally touched by the other male. With that said, during ‘the heat of the moment,’ sometimes incidental touching does occur. This can occur for several reason like positioning, initial indications that you are open to the idea, or misunderstanding about boundaries. If it does happen and if feels good then allow the touching to continue until you begin feeling uncomfortable. However if it is something that makes you feel uncomfortable then try showing your discomfort non-verbally by changing position or gently moving the body part that is touching you. Should it not be possible or it is not working then politely and in a non-confrontation way say something. Finally if the thought of being touched by the other male induces levels of anxiety, anger, or it is something that upsets you then, in this author’s opinion, you should reconsider the idea of having a two male threesome.