If a couple responds to my email or ad then they are interested in me?
There is a difference between a genuine interest meeting for a threesome and obtaining enough information to make an informed decision. Any reply means you have an opportunity to make yourself stand-out and impress the couple.
Couples looking for a two male, mfm, threesome are looking for another male to join them because the primary male cannot meet the female’s sexual needs?
This is a logical fallacy that many single men believe. Most couples looking for a second male have stable relationships and have a threesome because it is their choice. As a result of their decision you are being invited to join them because they are looking to explore their sexuality and not because there is an underlying issue in their relationship.
When meeting or communicating with a couple I should be speaking to the woman?
Depending on the situation this can be a fatal mistake. While it is true most mmf threesomes are straight, the reality is it takes two people to make a couple. This means even though you will be engaging sexually with her you cannot forget her partner / husband. In many situations he takes on a gatekeeper role, which means, if you cannot win his trust and confidence then it is unlikely the threesome will occur. Best piece of advice is to make sure you include him in any conversations, speak to him about her interests, and a build a rapport with him. By doing this you will gain his trust and increase the chance the threesome will occur.
When replying to an ad I should include my email address, contact phone number, and a photo of my genitals?
Most ads will not ask contact details or photos of genitals to be sent with a reply. By sending any of this with your reply, when it is not requested, most likely will be seen as aggressive and will cause the couple to longer consider you. It is best to read the ad carefully about what the couple is wanting and only send the requested information.
If I am in a committed relationship or married and the couple is requesting a single male then I am considered single?
Many couples tend to prefer single men since they come with less risk and keep the threesome as discreet as possible. If you are married or in a committed relationship and the couple request a single male then you need to be upfront with the couple about your relationship status.
If I am single and interested in having a threesome then I should approach a married couple that I know?
If you ask a friend for a threesome then that relationship will forever change and you might bring to an end that friendship. Before asking you will need to consider:
- If you are willing to risk the friendship
- How the friendship will return once the threesome ends
- How you will deal with issues such as rejection if your idea is rejected
- How you will mitigate feelings developing
- Your reasons for selecting a friend instead of someone else
How do I ask a couple for a threesome?
A lot depends on the context of the situation, if you are using a website dedicated to this activity or at a swinger club (on or off premise) then wanting a threesome is implied. The focus in these situations is determining if enough attraction exists to allow a threesome to occur.
If it the asking is done when the couple may not expect it then using a direct approach that is open and honest is necessary. This means avoiding euphemisms, talking around the subject, or alluding to the idea. Instead you have to be honest with the couple and tell them what you are proposing. In some situations, there already may be sexual tension that all recognizes and talking about it will help bring up the subject. If this is the situation then talk about your plan, how you see the friendship continuing, and why you feel it is necessary to have the threesome. However in other situations the idea may be a shock to them and it is best to be ready for it.
If I have a threesome with a couple is it assumed that I will ‘cum’ in her, especially if I use a condom?
No, it is bad etiquette to make this assumption. When it comes to this issue the woman may have a strong preference and it is courteous to ask beforehand.
If I am participating in a threesome with another man does it mean he is bisexual or gay?
No, it does not. The most common type of threesome is the two men and one woman threesome.
How do I handle incidental touching in a two man threesome?
Ideally before the threesome you should discuss with the couple your boundaries, including being intentionally touched by the other male. With that said, during ‘the heat of the moment,’ sometimes incidental touching does occur. This can occur for several reason like positioning, initial indications that you are open to the idea, or misunderstanding about boundaries. If it does happen and if feels good then allow the touching to continue until you begin feeling uncomfortable. However if it is something that makes you feel uncomfortable then try showing your discomfort non-verbally by changing position or gently moving the body part that is touching you. Should it not be possible or it is not working then politely and in a non-confrontation way say something. Finally if the thought of being touched by the other male induces levels of anxiety, anger, or it is something that upsets you then, in this author’s opinion, you should reconsider the idea of having a two male threesome.