Why does my spouse / girlfriend want a mfm instead of fmf?


Imagine for a moment your spouse / girlfriend comes tells you that they want a threesome. At first there is a rush of excitement and a feeling of being carefree like a child of 10 at the start of summer vacation. As she goes on telling you about her threesome you realize she is asking for a two male threesome, why?

In response to requests from visitors I will explore this topic and provide some opinions as to why a woman might prefer a two male threesome instead of inviting another woman.

She is heterosexual, straight: Depending on the statistics you want to accept only 2% – 10% of women are bisexual. This means at least 9 out of 10 women are straight and prefer having two men instead of inviting another woman.

Women invest more time into relationships: Generally speaking, women have more invested in a relationship and spend more time investing in their relationship. This means inviting another woman for a threesome can be seen as a threat to the relationship by her since more of her identity is based on relationship.

Society’s Messaging / Sexual Roles / Religion: This author believes, society teaches women from an early age that relationships are important, to be complete she must have a monogamous relationship with a man and have a family. In order to this she must put her husband’s and family’s needs a head of her own. Through this journey she suppresses a part of herself, her needs, and a suppresses a part of her needs. By having a threesome she is able to, for that period of time, free herself and to meet her needs. I am not saying that women are not monogamous, instead I am saying for some women having a two male threesome gives her a way to put the demands made on her and a gives her a route to discover herself.

Confirmation of desirability / attractiveness:
Having a two male threesome for a woman can confirm for her that she is still attractive and desired. This can also work in her boyfriend / husband’s favor too since it confirms for him that he has a girlfriend / spouse that is desired by other men.

Emotions/ Jealousy / Anger: For some women having feelings can be so strong that inviting another woman might be seen as a threat. Conversely inviting another woman may mean some courting is needed thereby increasing the chance that an emotional attachment is made. Having a two male threesome for a woman may be a safer choice since it may mean less of a chance of developing emotional bonds since her boyfriend / spouse is her focus.

Mechanics / Anatomical & Physiological : A woman has the capacity of multiple orgasms and the potential for longer sustainability. By having a two male threesome it allows her to have sex multiple times in one evening with different partners.

Polyamory / Ménage de Trios: It is possible that she may have an interest in having multiple partners and multiple relationships with her primary relationship being with her boyfriend / spouse. However this would need to be clarified once the topic is discussed.

Finally: With that said, this author feels each reason does not operate in isolation and there is potentially some overlap between the reasons. This means there can be multiple reasons influencing the her decision towards having a two male threesome versus having a two female threesome. If there is a solution my feeling it would reside in giving her time along with making her feel secure that the relationship could survive a two female threesome. This does not mean she will ultimately agree to have one. Nonetheless it does mean there are potential reasons for him not wanting it and provide some solace in understanding.

8 thoughts on “Why does my spouse / girlfriend want a mfm instead of fmf?

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