Frequently Asked Questions choosing a third person for a threesome


Risk

Is choosing a co-worker, a friend, or an ex a good choice for inviting as the third to a threesome?

Generally speaking they are convenient since you know them and you have some type of a relationship with them. However, each poses a risk and the risk normally outweighs any advantage. Therefore, the general rule is co-workers, friends, and exes tend not to make a good choice for a threesome.

Where can we find a third for our threesome?

The locations you can search are unlimited. Probably the most common ones are on-line dating web sites, swinger / lifestyle websites, swingers clubs, munches, dogging sites, and lifestyle parties. Sometimes bars / pubs are a possibility. However most bars / pubs do not cater to this type of activity and your advances may be un-welcomed. Therefore if you do look in a bar / pub be cautious and be ready if your threesome idea is ill-received. Finally some may consider using a “professional” for this type of activity. In most locations, including Vegas, prostitution is illegal and many “professionals” carry STDs / STIs. Plus some may be under-age, they are expensive, and many hotels will not tolerate them. Best advice is forgetting about using a professional due to the risk and cost.

How do we select the third person?  

There is no magical formula for choosing the third person and the choice comes down to your preferences. However the person selected, this author feels, should be someone that is compatible with the two of you and the both of you can agree on them.

I want my partner to select the third person and not interfere?

The decision on how to select the third person is ultimately up to each couple. However, this author feels there is less chance of issues arising and less risk to the relationship if both are active in the choice process. One possible solution might be your partner chooses but you have the last say over the selection.

How much detail should we go into about our boundaries?

You do not need to give an hour lecture on your boundaries and you do not need to go into great depth about them. Nonetheless the information you give should be enough for them to understand your boundaries and respect them.

Once we meet the third person, should we have the threesome the same day?

This is a personal decision that needs to be made by all involved. However some couples, particularly those just starting out, may want to consider a meet & greet. A meet & greet allows all three to meet in public and each to decide on their own before the threesome occurs. Such a situation reduces the chance the wrong decision is made and reduces the chance that there will be regrets later.

18 thoughts on “Frequently Asked Questions choosing a third person for a threesome

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