MFM threesome FAQs


English: Variable Damselfly threesome: mating ...

If we have a two male, mfm, threesome will there be male on male contact?

In most cases, no, since most mfm are straight (no male on male contact). However, if it something, as a couple, you are looking for then it is possible to find a bi male but be safe in regards to STDs / STIs.

Couples looking for a two male, mfm, threesomes are looking for another male to join them because the primary male cannot meet the female’s sexual needs?

Most couples that look for a second male have stable relationships and have a threesome because it is their choice. This means you are being invited to join them because they are looking to explore their sexuality and not because there is an underlying issue in their relationship.

What types of risk exist with having a mfm threesome?

The biggest risks includes, though not limited to:

  • pregnancy
  •  STDs / STIs
  • misunderstanding boundaries / miscommunication
  • conflict during or after the threesome
  • ending of the relationship

My husband / partner wants a mfm threesome, does it mean he is gay?

Most likely no, most threesomes are two male threesomes that are straight.  Very few two male threesomes involve male on male activity due to risk of STDs / STIs. Even if there is some male-on-male contact it does not mean he is gay. A threesome situation can be quite arousing and allowing opportunity for exploration whereby some same-sex contact does occur. Then after the experience there is no further interest in the same-sex. However, if you are in doubt then it is important that you speak to them about your concerns.

Where are some places we can meet men interested in having a threesome?

There are many places you can search and you may find someone interested in places that you may not expect to look.  Nonetheless there are a few places you can try but remember to do it safely:

  • Internet threesomes, dating, and swinging web sites.
  • Swingers clubs on premise
  • Off premise swingers clubs, munches, and meet & greets
  • Swingers Parties
  • Dogging locations

However there a few choices to avoid such as:

  • bars
  • co-workers
  • ex boyfriend / girlfriend or ex spouse

Are there any bad reasons to have a threesome?

Yes they are and they include:

  • Feeling pressured
  • Doing it to please your partner
  • Being coerced or manipulated
  • Using it as a way of preventing cheating
  • Getting drunk and / or high to have a threesome

Will getting high or drunk increase my enjoyment of having a threesome?

Getting high and / or drunk is very bad idea when having a threesome. Reason being you need to be in full control of your decisions and keep up your boundaries. Without being in control of your decisions you put your safety and health at risk. Simply put if you need to get high and /or drunk to have a threesome then you need to reconsider the idea.

What positions can you do in a threesome?

Any position works in a threesome but there are two other positions, split roast and dp.

I am a female who will be having a two male threesome, how do I divide my attention including who do I have sex with first?

You will be the center of the male’s attention. Nonetheless, how you focus your attention may have a significant impact on your relationship. The best advice is to speak with your partner before the threesome and then communicate it to the invited male.

Having two men will mean the female will have sex multiple times?

It is possible that she may have sex more than once. However that will depend on the planned threesome structure, expectations, and if any of the men of suffering from performance anxiety (e.g. inability to get an erection, inability to support an erection, premature ejaculation).

 

7 thoughts on “MFM threesome FAQs

  1. OMG! This has happened TWICE this morning! I start typing a comment and it just randomly posts for no reason. I wasn’t DONE yet! Grrr…

    Okay, to continue…

    We discussed ~ ad nauseum ~ what we wanted, why, what our goals were, who would be doing what to/for/with whom, etc. Then, when we were done discussing it…

    We discussed it some more.

    We did all that *before* we met with our potential third(s), because we knew we had to be united in our objectives and that there could be no gray areas where boundaries were concerned.

    Then, after we decided who we wanted as our third, we involved him in discussions and got his ideas/input/feedback/fantasies/experiences/hard limits/insert-phrase-here, and incorporated all of *his* stuff with all of *our* stuff, and decided *together* what would and would not be happening.

    So all parties took part in communication.

    All parties had ownership.

    All parties were sober.

    And all parties had an absolutely amazing time. :D :D :D (Those are three very happy, smiling people. Lol.)

    • Thanks for adding to your comment.

      I am glad to read that taking the time to communicate made threesome enjoyable and it made it a good time for all.

      On the surface communication and planning sounds like a lot of work with no guarantees. However, if done right and care is taken then most likely the the “fruits of your labor,” will pay-off with a very enjoyable threesome.

  2. It is great to find a blog filled with such interesting and thought-provoking content. As a man in an ongoing bisexual MMF threesome, I was bothered by the fact that you imply that STDs/STIs are a greater concern in MMF threesomes than others. What is the basis for these statements?

    Prevention of sexually transmitted disease and infections should be always be a primary concern in all non-monogamous encounters, regardless of the perceived sexual orientation of the partners or the presence of of same sex contact.

    I am hoping that I have overlooked some rational reason that supports this position, otherwise it simply seems biased.

    • Hi MannintheMiddle,

      Thank you for your reply and question. After re-reading your post I will disagree with you regarding that I am implying STDs / STIs are a greater concern in MMF threesomes than others and I will explain why. To begin with, the philosophy I use on this site is taking personal responsibility for others and yourself. It is not possible to cover the all of the areas where personal responsibility applies in a threesome situation but I can say one area is sexual health. This is especially true in a MMF threesome situation where there is male on male contact due to the increased risk of syphilis. In a threesome situation the risk of infecting multiple people greatly increases.

      Another reason for emphasizing STDs / STIs in this section is based on personal experience with threesomes, especially MMF threesomes. There is a big aversion to using condoms by males and the desire to go ‘bareback.’ The risk of going ‘bareback’ with someone, outside of the relationship, means the risk of obtaining a STD / STI including HIV / AIDS increases. Couples who have been monogamous for many years may forget, rationalize, or minimize the risks that they face in order to have a threesome. By emphasizing the STD / STI risk, it highlights it is a real risk they face when having a threesome.

      Finally this site is not owned by a government agency nor is it owned by a news organization where bias can become an issue. Instead, this site is owned by an individual who is sharing their experience. If there is bias towards STDs / STIs in this post then it is acceptable since it is my preference those who are considering the idea of having a threesome knew the risks then painting a rosy picture of having a threesome by ignoring the risks.

      http://blog.aids.gov/2012/12/syphilis-and-hiv-a-dangerous-duo-affecting-gay-and-bisexual-men.html

      http://www.topix.com/news/sex/2013/11/condomless-sex-increasing-in-us-gay-men-especially-in-hiv-negative-and-untested-men

      • I sincerely appreciate your thoughtful response, share your feelings on personal responsibility, and I have no argument with your rationale.

        Your position is that everyone needs to play responsibly in every circumstance, which is the right message to send. It is a challenge to call out the higher risks in Men who have Sex with Men and still keep the message consistent for all partners.

        Thank you again for clarifying.

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